Most. Inarticulate. President. Ever.

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."
—G.W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

Q: Thank you, Mr. President. Mr. Chalabi is an Iraqi leader that's fallen out of favor within your administration. I'm wondering if you feel that he provided any false information, or are you particularly—
Bush: Chalabi?
Q: Yes, with Chalabi.
Bush: My meetings with him were very brief. I mean, I think I met with him at the State of the Union and just kind of working through the rope line, and he might have come with a group of leaders. But I haven't had any extensive conversations with him.
—President Bush, in a Rose Garden exchange with reporters, June 1, 2004.

Q: If the Iraqis choose, however, an Islamic extremist regime, would you accept that, and would that be better for the United States than Saddam Hussein?
Bush: They're not going to develop that. And the reason I can say that is because I'm very aware of this basic law they're writing. They're not going to develop that because right here in the Oval Office I sat down with Mr. Pachachi and Chalabi and al-Hakim, people from different parts of the country that have made the firm commitment, that they want a constitution eventually written that recognizes minority rights and freedom of religion.
—President Bush, in an Oval Office interview with NBC's Tim Russert aired Feb. 8, 2004

"We've investigated every single complaint against the detainees. It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of -- and the allegations -- by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble -- that means not tell the truth. And so it was an absurd report. It just is."
--George W. "Some Dissembly Required" Bush, when asked about an Amnesty International report likening America's detention facility at Guantánamo Bay to a Soviet gulag; at his May 31, 2005 press conference.

"I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job."
--GWB, campaigning to a group of Old Order Amish in Smoketown, PA; quoted in Lancaster Newspapers, July 16, 2004

"God told me to strike at al Qaeda and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did."
--GWB, to Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas; quoted in Ha'aretz June 24, 2003

"I'm the commander ... see, I don't need to explain. I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the president. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation."
--GWB, quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
--GWB, quoted in Business Week, July 30, 2001

BRIAN WILLIAMS: ...Do you have any moments of doubt that we fought the wrong war? That there's something wrong with the perception of America overseas?
G.W. BUSH: Well, those are two different questions. Did we fight the wrong war? And the absolutely, I have no doubt. The war came to OUR shores. Remember that. We had a foreign policy that basically said, let's hope calm works, and we were attacked.
WILLIAMS: But those weren't Iraqis.
BUSH: No, no, they weren't, they they weren't uh, No, I agree, they weren't Iraqis, nor would I ever say that Iraq ordered that attack, but they were a part of, Iraq is part of the struggle against the terrorists. These terrorists have made it clear that they want us to leave Iraq prematurely. And why is it? Because they want a safe haven. They'd love to get a hold of oil. They have territorial ambitions. And, uh, no! I think fighting this war is the absolute right thing to do.
NBC interview with G.W.Bush in New Orleans, August 28, 2006

"There's a trade deficit. That's easy to resolve: people can buy more United States products if they're worried about the trade deficit."
--GWB, answering questions at a joint photo-op with Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi, December 15, 2004

"Secondly, the tactics of our—-as you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's—-ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions—-you can't—-we're out of sanctions."
—GWB, Annandale, Va., August 9, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
—GWB, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004... Eeeewwwwwwwwww!

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."
—GWB, Speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., October 5, 2002.

"They have no disregard for human life."
—GWB, describing the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008

"I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office."
—GWB, Washington, D.C., June 26, 2008

"Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people."
—GWB, Charlottesville, Va., July 4, 2008

"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many ob/gyns are not able to practice their love with women all across this country."
—GWB, on the 2004 campaign trail

A local journalist, Jamakaya, noticed a "Journal of Faith-Based Statistics" among the details in one of my syndicated cartoons and asked me to draw a cartoon about this fictitious journal for her newsletter. Voici.