It’s in his Kicks

Part 1: Voltaire

Chapter 1: SHUSH Academy

The Future Ones sat in the cramped and grey shuttlecraft.

"I wish this thing had windows." Static said catatonic with boredom.

"If this thing had windows the force would suck the eyeballs out of your head." Jet said peeking up from her astronavigation book, chewing on a nutribar.

"Hey you want one, Dom."

Random stared at the bar of food like material and sweated profusely.

"Excuse me, Jet-" he ran to the bathroom

"Wow I have never seen someone puke that much." Flight whispered as Random headed to the rest room again.

"It’s all in brain chemistry really. Some people can’t go on boats, others get air sick." She waved the nutribar in the air "Can you imagine the naseau you can get hurtled through space at thousands of miles an hour? Man the things it must do to your digestion." Jett continued shaking the food bar around, to and fro, bobbing up and down to side to side.

"Jett. Put that thing down it’s making me dizzy." Flight held the bar preventing it from waggling all over "Oh great now I’m naseaous."

Oracle walked in

"Keith says we’re in visual radius."

She punched up a view screen.

"SHUSH Academy Headquarters."

The building comprised an entire planetoid. Well lit artificial solariams with huge gardens underneath.

"Ravs. It’s so mysterious and ancient." Static said

"Not bad. But where’s Rastro rhen roo read him?" Flight said.

They stared "You know the Jetswans? Meet George Jetswan…"

They ignored Flight as usual.

"They’ve called a division leader’s meeting here. Something important." Oracle said. "It wasn’t disclosed over public communications."

"What do you think it’s about?"

"I couldn’t divulge, anyway. It’s Top Secret."

"If it’s so top secret then how come they gave us Pamphlets."

"They give those to everyone." Oracle said. "They’re treating us like tourists."

Flight buried his bill in the pamphlet.

"The Heart of the most elite and sophisticated law enforcement agency on Earth and in the Three Worlds."

"Hmmm."

"They’ve got every conceivable testing facility, workshop and-"

"Music studio?" Static asked perking up.

"Excuse me?"

"Do they have a music studio?" Static asked.

"Somewhere along the west dorms." Oracle said bewildered. "Why would you need a music studio?"

"I haven’t practiced in a long time."

"Practiced?"

"My violin."

"So you play the violin?"

"My mother would kill me if she knew how lazy I had been. Practice practice practice. I’d like to see her practice after stopping Verseal from conquering St. Canard."

"You’re going to practice your violin?" Flight began chuckling "Man."
"What’s the big deal? If I don’t practice I’ll lose my skill."

Flight coughed, it suspiciously sounded like Woose.

"What? Music increases my analytical and perceptive abilities. Increases my intrinsic understanding of patterns, teaches me discipline and focus."

"But it’s lame." Flight said.

"I’m sure it will be okay if you camp out in a musical studio." Oracle said.

"Well good. I wouldn’t want to bother anyone."

****

Oracle led Flight around.

"SHUSH Academy has the most prestigious battle and combat training facilities on Earth."

"Whoa."

"Battle simulators." Oracle pointed to two figures in full VR gear in a glass window. "Training rooms. Everything you could imagine."

Flight pressed his bill against the glass and ogled the athletic female agents training in the gym.

"Quit drooling, we’re late already."

"Where are you dragging me off to? Some hidden corner, a broom closet. Oh Oracle you minx and me without my chapstick." He wrapped his arms around Oracle.

"I’m taking you to a Third story window to plummet to your death." She peeled his arms off

"Ha Ha This is space there’s no gravity I wouldn’t fall."

"You wouldn’t breath either." Oracle yanked him away from the window. "We are going to my dojo."

"Dojo?"

"It’s a fraternity thing. The school separated us into training groups. Mostly by age."

A small sign hang from a post. It had the picture of a flower and it’s name."

"The Orchid? What a stupid name."

The dojo was full of the sounds. The Orchid was commited to teaching karate, so the students were often kiyaing long into the night. It was the noisiest studio along the row.

"We have visitors." A rabbit came out of the backroom. He was wearing grey japanese style robes. He was slender and elegant looking, with gentle eyes.

"Ryuu-baby." Oracle said.

"Oracle-chan. Otenki Desu ne? How are you?" The pleasantly peach colored rabbit spoke lightly accented English. Despite his posture and accent he looked like your average American jack rabbit with a white belly and muzzle.

He turned to his students.

"Students, This is my Sempai. Oracle Coxcombe. She is an Orchid too. She graduated in the top ten."

"Not to mention I got a higher GPA then Ryuu."

"Yes but who won the first medallion at the Trials."

"Oh you wouldn’t have if I hadn’t threatened to kick your butt for losing for Orchid Clan."

"She is an honored graduate, and if you listen well she will teach you much. She is now, Division Leader of the Future Ones."

"Whose the old guy?"

"I’m Flight."

"Flight Mallard. This is Usagi Garyuu."

"Very nice to meet you." The rabbit bowed. "I hope you find your visit to our dojo pleasant. Currently we are practicing for the Inter-Dojo Competition. We should have another year like we did when we first came up."

"Power and Honor." Oracle and Ryuu did a handshake.

"Just like his grandmother, Usagi Mioko

"Hello Mr Garyuu."

"It’s Mr. Usagi. In Japan the family name is first."

Another rabbit bounded in. She had the same slender frame as her brother’s, of course hers seemed so prominantly rounded and robust. She swaggered in sporting a hefty blaster cannon in it’s holster strapped to her back . She wore a tank top and a red bandanna, tied into a headband.

"Hello Mates, what’s the good word? Hey dere how you doon. Or to coin a turn of Phrase, yeah What’s up Doc."

"Nice Impersonations. Wait. Alligator Dundy, Joe Pesto. Bugs Bunny" Flight

"Bingo. You know you’re Twentieth century, eh guv." The rabbit said

"Hello Hani-" The shy rabbit waved.

"My name is Hanimo Usagi." Her despite her mimicking skills she had a pronounced Australian accent. She headlocked her sedate and peaceful brother "But you call me Honey Bunny. Like after Dad." She pinched Flight’s cheek. "But not you, Oracle."

"Honey."

"And as for you, you traitorous lil piece of crud I think you’d better just…" Honey shoved her

"Oh stuff it you fleabitten piece of trash." Oracle flipped her in the forehead.

"Worm."

"Slug."

"Oracle."

"Honey."

The friends hugged.

Ryuu sighed. "Just like Gram-sama."

"If you’re brother and sister don’t You have the same grandma."

"Hai, but she is more like my paternal grandmother. The great rock star Babara Ann Bunny."

"Whoa you guys are related to Babs Bunny?" Flight said "The Baberella? Oh loved the early stuff."

"Hai, so desu ne." Ryuu said. "She was very famous. One of our most famous relative in our family’s history.

Honey bunny said. "EH. She rocked. Mama-san is a blast. Took me on Dingo hunts on her ranch when I was three. Gorgeous big hearted woman."

"Oracle-chan. You’ve got to come to katas with us. We’ve missed you." Honey squeezed her old school friend.

"Well being team leader has kept me busy."

"Well at least come to one kata. When was the last time you sparred? I practice after my kendo class. You will enjoy it."

"Kendo," he looked at the brochure "Is that the Japanese sword fighting?"

Ryuu looked gravely "It is Japanese fencing. Mallard-san. Not sword fighting."

****

Ryuu strolled with Oracle in the hover garden staring out into the expanse of space "I have decided that my talents would be best utilized for SHUSH in the Academy. I have never felt comfortable using my skills in a combat situations. Yet if I can teach others to defend themselves then I will feel most satisfied."

"It suits you. You make a good Sensei. Even in the old days, you were fussy."

"It is good to see you again Sempai." He placed his arm around her. She hugged him back.

Flight glared. That was one slick rabbit. He squeezed between them.

"Soooooo Usagi? Does your sister work at The Academy too?"

Oracle and Ryuu laughed.

"I’d like to see that…"
"Hai."

"What’s so funny?"

"Honey is very rambunctious."

"The girl’s solution to any problem usually involves TNT. Remember that time she threw a grenade at that bear."

"She threw a grenade at a fish. When we went fishing in Gudrapma Buster’s Ranch in Auckland."

"She doesn’t live with you guys in Kyoto."

"I don’t think Kyoto would survive Hanimo-chan for very long. It’s very traditional. Hanimo is happier in Australia. Trying to convince me to move down there. Says it’s made for rabbits."

"Ryuu here is the expert martial artist. It’s in his blood. His ancestor was the great Usagi Yojimbo."

"Who would have guessed that they are related to a rockstar and a samurai?"

"Actually my mother was the most famous Geisha in Kyoto. Usagi Fukionna. Biddi Bunny was made an Usagi when he married Mother."

"Geisha? Is that like a rash?"

"Geisha, entertainer, courtesan.

"You should hear these two sing. They’ve got music in their blood."

"Oh but my father was proud when I decided to enter SHUSH Academy, and mother couldn’t keep Honey away. She is very well suited for the life of a SHUSH agent. I on the other hand am too old fashioned. And I hate to be away from my home to long. I was not blessed with an adventurous soul like Honey or Oracle here."

"Well taking care of all these green cadets is pretty brave of you." She poked the rabbit in the stomach playfully. Flight glared.

"Oh dear. It’s almost time for the meeting." Oracle said.

"Mallard-san I would be honored to escort you around the campus while Oracle is busy." Ryuu bowed.

"No thanks. But I may take you up on that fencing class." Flight said.

"Well Bye Ryu-chan." Oracle chucked him on the chin.

He bowed "I shall see you later, at katas."

"Getting very comfortable with Bunny-san. You two uh-"

"Oh get over yourself. He is my best friend at SHUSH. That would be like saying Random and Static had a thing. Or you and me."

"Well keep telling yourself that Oracle. I know you want me."

"The question is what do I want for. Right now I want you to go away."

"I’ll see you Oracle."

****

There was a seedy bar somewhere in the bad neighborhood of the Lunar Base.

A tall rat-like creature, white long and graceful. His scaly pink tail sticking up as if it had it’s own mind. Though he looked rat, but he had a strange mixture of canine features as well in his face. His ears were definitely not rodent. He had bow legs, and he slouched. There was something else about him. Something that made every one stare. Every one watched Voltaire in wonder and fear. He was wearing a wool suit. He carried a broken black rain umbrella. He closed his ominous looking parasol before entering the building.

He set his plopped his fedora aside.

"Whoa what are those things on your face, pal?"

"Corrective eye wear. Glasses. Convex lenses which correct my natural near sightedness popularly utilized by peoples of the 19^th , 20^th and very early 21^st centuries."

"Okay."

"They make me look like Buddy Holly, wouldn’t you say, my good man."

"Uh."

He gave up, no one knew anything about rock and roll.

"Gin on the rocks."

He parked himself on the stool.

"Leave the bottle."

The bartender stared at him.

"Credit or Charge?"

All at once a figure appeared behind him.

"Hey that’s my seat you little white hybrid turd." He lifted the bow legged rat by the collar "If you don’t get up outta my seat I’ll zap you so many times your mother won’t recognize your corpse."

The rat hybrid turned around.

"Oh excuse me, sir."

The rat hybrid stood up out of the chair, dusting off the chair.

The thug sat down. "That’s more like it. Nobody makes a fool of…"

The light flashed over the spinning steel of Voltaire’s blade. It was too late.

The arm holding his drink flopped onto the table.

"Me?"

The denizens of the bar stared wide-eyed. The only thing they had seen was the flash of the steel.

The thug screamed.

"While you’re at the hospital getting that reattached, may I please hold your seat?"

Everyone at the bar backed away. The rat returned to his stool. As the Thug and his friends rushed to the hospital with the severed arm

"Credits." The rat hybrid placed the folded bills on the bar.

The bar tender was almost afraid to touch the money.

"Wow, a 500. You came into some scratch kid. No wonder you’re edgy."

He grunted and the bartender left him alone to his gin.

"I’ll give you the rest of it if you don’t talk to me."

The rat hybrid settled into a coma-like haze resting his head on the bar. Nursing the gin into his system, before it could escape. This was not out of the ordinary, when he did show up in this part of the Three Worlds.

A man in a black suit approached him.

"Voltaire Grenouille,. I presume?"

"Yes. Now move, you are ruining my buzz."

He took out a key pad dossier.

"Aged 20 and a half, Birthplace: Paris, France."

"I’ve been waiting for you." The man in the suit said.

He shouldn’t have trusted a person who knew this much about him, but he didn’t feel like moving. He didn’t look tough, like the type of low life scum who’d threaten him while he was sitting in a tavern getting drunk. He was worse. He looked like the kind of low life scum who’d have enough money to hire him.

"Well then my third. It effects my counting. It’s one of those odd numbers." Voltaire spun on the bar stool. He flipped the guy a nickel.

"Play something good on the jukebox."

The little man scuttered over to the juke box. And turned it on a good number. The kind of thing that Voltaire was reported to like.

Voltaire sighed and rested his head against the cool bar.

"Ahhh."

"Mr. Grenouille I am Emilio Muster from McDucke Enterprises."

The rat hybrid refused to answer him. Losing himself in the joyful abandon of the melody.

"You ever wonder what possessed him to write this song?" Voltaire asked no one in particular."As far as I can tell, the cat was in his bathtub and his roomate forgot to tell him about the party."

"Quite."

Voltaire sat up and drummed his fingers on the rim of his glass.

"You know who I am. The real question is what do you want?"

"What does this mean exactly? Services rendered."

"I do things for money." the rat hybrid said "But I take it you don’t intend for me to take Buddy over here and play for your 20^th Century fair. This is a job for Chantily Lace." Tapped the deadly sharp kitana in the leather scabbard, strapped to his back, which had already kissed blood tonight.

"We have excellent records on you Mr. Grenouille. For the past three years you have made an impression on the world. And yet only our resources could find your name."

"What’s in a name? Would a rose smell as sweet? Would my sword slicing through your gut make a different noise?"

"The point is you are very inconspicuous for someone of your pinache."

"I know how to do things nice and clean. I know how to deal with situations. I was trained since birth to do deal with certain paradoxical uncertainties and moral dillemma that would send you back to Temple Mr. Muster. I’m just exploiting it. But I might assume to much. You a religious man Muster."

"Most mercenaries don’t have such how shall I put it, awareness. You just don’t kill or die. It’s almost as if you could bend time to your will if you wished. Like you were a time traveler."

"We’re all time travelers Mr. Muster. Didn’t we just past 20 minutes in each others company." Voltaire said. He took a sip

"Why do you trust me, Muster?"

"You have an innate understanding of our agenda. You know what it means to make history."

"Things Happen causing other things to happen."

Muster said nothing and let the song change to some very understated bebop.

"We have a situation you want to deal with. If he is killed he is a martyr, If he lives he will destroy us."

"The best way to kill a martyr is to prove their human. They’ll undo themselves. I have intense experience in this field. You should just wait him out."

"We want him dead, soon.

"Oh give it 60 years. Why are you so hellfire on getting him? Why would you want to risk martyring him at all."

"Certain events relating to the change in the balance of power in the Martian capitol. Let’s say that the new rulers want to clear up any serious opposition to the McDucke’s or the Corporation."

"I don’t do politics. That was my mother’s mistake… You tell me who to slice and I do it. You deal with the socio-historic consequences."

"You are the last hope in the Three Worlds."

"I like that. Can I quote you and put it on the card?"

"Do you know Don Karnage?"

The rat lifted his head.

"Don Karnage?"

"We want you to get rid of him."
"I heard he’s tough, and he has a big mouth. He has a red laser sword, a light saber. Very unique sword. The rest is a mystery of course. I don’t watch the webcasts when I’m out in the wilderness."

Voltaire sat

"I’ll bite. Make me an offer. But this time I want the sword too."

"The price is 3 million credits."

Voltaire turned around.

"Ten thousand up front." Muster said.

"What are his specs, his MO, his puppy’s name, what foods his mother his mother was allergic too and such?"

"All that is required is in this file."

"When do you want it done? Tommorow?"

"It’s taken or best men 3 months to track him. This is an outstanding contract."

"Yeah well your best men are lazy." Voltaire said.

"We’ll contact you for your progress reports."

"I don’t do reports. I kill remember."

He picked up the folder.

"You just better get me my money when I kill the guy."

"Good."

"You want me to find a credible suspect to frame, I trust?"

"Yes."

"Does he have a wife? or a little number on the side. It’s unbelievably easy to frame sex partners."

Muster coughed at the hybrid’s frank manner. "No wife, no lovers, no one, few vulnerabilities. Tight inner circle of under a dozen agents."

"Oh nonsense Muster. He’s mortal. He has to have someone. Some chink in the armor."

He handed the dossier to Voltaire.

"Fox , mid to late twenties…" Muster rattled

Voltaire’s eyes fell upon the neat signature. He gasped.

***

Noelle Muddlefoot opened the dossier.

"It’s Don Karnage again." Noelle said. Her voice still strong and only slightly less shrill despite her graying hair.

"What else did you learn?" The Head Director, Burrows of SHUSH asked her

"Nothing the bastard cleaned house."

"Meaning?"

"Everyone is rendered dead or with no memory. It’s as if the ship vanished, there never was a crime." Noelle said.

"We can throw the full extent of the law. With the Terran Navy, SHUSH and of course your squad Oracle. We can stop them."

"We can mobilize tomorrow if necessary."

Director Burrows sighed.

"I still don’t know. SHUSH has never interfered in the affairs of a foreign planet. Especially a political hot potato like Don Karnage. They are political dissidents, not under our jurisdiction."

"Does this look political to you? Three people were brutally killed" Noelle growled.

As her superiors argued over the issue, Oracle looked at the scant data. Something struck her odd.

Oracle tried to hold her tongue. Who was she to say anything? She had the least seniority in this room. These people had run SHUSH for twenty years. She hated Karnage more than anyone in this room. They would need help from SHUSH to get that pirate. No matter what the consequences.

"Coxcombe you look nervous. As the resident empath that can’t be a good sign." Noelle smiled.

The group chuckled.

"It’s not important. I mean it’s just a feeling."

"Go on. No one is going to bite your head off." Noelle nudged reassuringly.

"I don’t think you’re right Miss Noelle. It doesn’t sound like Karnage."

"Well Oracle explain yourself." Noelle said non-threatening.

"It’s not Karnage’s style. He’s a preacher, he likes taking prisoners."

"The symbol is there. He practically autographed it. That is a pretty huge sign of bravado." McTavish said.

"Or someone pretending to be him." Oracle said staring at the file.

"That’s speculation. It doesn’t stand up." The Director admitted.

"Wait a second." She looked closely at the signature "That’s not the symbol. It’s different."

She placed it on the scanner.

"Computer magnify."

On the view screen the symbol appear clearer.

"You’re right they don’t even superimpose."

"It’s a kanjii character or at least a pictogram. They are different.."

"Yes it was the symbol of Don Karnage. The double t, but then following it was a different symbol. It looks like a hexagon or a octagon, you couldn’t tell. His looked like a S or a Z."

They looked at the visual.

"This isn’t Don Karnage." Oracle said.

"I guess you are right." Noelle nodded grudgingly."Excellent work Coxcombe."

"I guess the Green Fairy claims another victim."

"The Green Fairy?"

"Will someone please illuminate the perceptive Miss Coxcombe on the topic." Director Burrows slid her a keypad.

"The Green Fairy is a phenomena that has been taking place for the last three years in all the major space ways. The radar signal is lost and the ship mysteriously vanishes."

"Even I must admit the Green Fairy couldn’t be Karnage."

"No political affliation, no boss. Not even a decent picture."

"Green Fairy is more dangerous because we know so little about him."

"Or her or it. It could be a space monster or even a plague. We just don’t know."

***

Voltaire Grenouille sat in the transport terminal at Luna.

It had to be a joke, a scam, or maybe it was his mind. He hoped that drinking could stave of the lunacy he was sure to develop in this kind of work. Money couldn’t silence the panicked screams in his head. Maybe scotch would.

More often he would lose what was left to be curse to remember, playing his guitar in strange places.

It had to be a hoax. He told himself, as his hands plucked cheerful chords of Chuck Berry, with the faint buzzing electric sound bouncing through his fingers. As a Sputterspark he didn’t need his own amplifier.

Change was piling into his fedora, as the shocked passengers wondered how he could play it without an amplifier, a speaker or headphones. He might play his way to Pluto at this rate.

The dossier sat beside him on the bench. Unopened since the last time he opened it. He must have left the bar after that. His brain had shut down trying to deny the truth.

He was afraid to open it again.

His tastes veered away from the uplift to the droning sexuality of Hendrix.

"Foxy…"

He amassed quite a crowd as images of Justin danced through his head. His dark fur sweet with his scent and creamy soap, soft and angelic. He was so beautiful in the mornings, shouting to the sun, dressed only in the light of dawn. He could feel the nearly scale-like scars on his back. It was like his body could remembered him as well. His skin missed Justin's trembling hesitant lips with their deep innocent kisses. And Justin's eyes fire brown and full of light always slightly overwhelmed by life. Only adding to his beauty.

"Foxy baby."

****

Static Sputterspark carried the listening gear, to a stall.

He looked at all the other teens his age, practicing their air instruments. One boy had virtual drums, one girl was puckering her lips against the air. Not a sound in the air. He wasn’t used to not hearing the music he played, or seeing the instruments.

He went to the stall marked "Stringed Instruments" He stared at the outlets and prongs. He inserted the violin card the Library had issued him. He pushed the big orange button on the card slid it in carefully. The violin screeched violent swirling feedback through every booth. The students scowled and swore.

"Oh geeese Sorry. I didn’t mean to… It’s my fault."

A tall muskrat came into the room.

"Hello squirts. Out of the way. Pete Moss, first chair violin coming through."

Static had finally begun playing.

"Hey shrimpoid. What are you doing in my stall?"

"Oh is this well… well it’s just… there is another stall for violins and other stringed-"

The rodent picked him up by the collar.

"Actually no. There isn’t. So I suggest you get moving."

"Um um…"

"What clan are you from shrimp?"

"What?"

"You’re probably one of them Orchids."

"Well You should have known better. The Rose owns this part of The Academy."

"I’m not in the Academy. I’m just visiting. I’m Static Sputterspark, Future Ones, Time Keeper."

"Time Keeper what do you do? Watch the watch to make sure that you break the record cleaning the bathroom."

"No. It’s a really important job. I can’t divulge to non warranted personell."

"Is that a fact huh shrimp? Well then get lost. This is the SHUSH academy music room."

"Moss-san. What are you doing?"

"Sensei Usagi." The muskrat dropped him.

"What is going on here?" the peach rabbit said.

"Well you see…"

"I want the gentleman you are assailing to answer first…"

"I didn’t know that this place was off limits. I’m really sorry…"

"You were given free access to SHUSH training facility

"Might I remind you Moss. You are a cadet. Officially Sputterspark-san outranks you."

"And since you both play the biodin I suggest you help Sputterspark-san set up. I take it the facilities can be confusing. Agents must learn to work together. Not mark off their territory like wild warthogs."
"Hai Sensei."

"And after you are done practicing you will attend kendo, and be on time."

"Hai Sensei."

"I will be down the hall eating lunch. It was a pleasure to meet you Sputterspark."

"Please call me Static."

The rabbit bowed and walked off.

Static smiled nervously at the tall ape

"Here I’ll take the other stall if you normally-"

The muskrat puffed up his cheekpouches and pushed Static out of the way.

"Just don’t make me mad again shrimp."

"Don’t hit me."

"You little wimp."

Static sighed, and cowered over to the next stall.

***

Voltaire opened the file again as the crowd faded.

"Don Karnage, aged mid to late twenties." Try early. It was just worry lines.

"species: Fox hybrid."

Justin crowed in the mornings when he was stressed. His grandfather was a rooster. He looked through the all too familiar yet souless facts. They could desribe ¾ of the foxes on Mars.

Identifying marks: Knick in his left ear…

Voltaire threw the file in a garbage can.

It had to be a hoax.

He tried to play another Hendrix song. The people in the station weren’t used to such primitive folk music. It was amusing.

It was Justin that told him about the guitar. He thought it was a weapon. He broke one of Vixon Gerish’s head when they tried to ambush them. Justin said it must be a mandolin. But the sound was too strange and rich. Justin loved listening to him. Justin would hum. What a beautiful voice. He was a tenor. He didn’t like the 20^th century music. He couldn’t sing these songs and just sit at his feet, humming and petting him. Justin would rest his furry muzzle on Voltaire’s knee ridge, (since he didn’t have a true lap) His dark eyes would wander off lost in the song.

Justin had taught him music and poetry, and calligraphy. He’d never thought he would enjoy that. It was the closest thing they could do to hugging in public, without Justin’s father the Prince and his mother the Keeper finding out. As neat as his handwriting became, Justin would always be there to guide his hand. How could anyone else have the same handwriting?

He sighed again wishing he were anywhere else but a public place. So he could cry…. There hadn’t been a true joy in his life he hadn’t experienced with his Justin. Friendship First Love, music, he was the only person who really knew him. What if he was alive. What could have happened to him that lead their paths to cross? Was he a killer like him? No longer the gentle noble creature he had been raised to be. Voltaire knew that he was never like that. But how could his Justin become a criminal? Better off dead than to love a False Keeper.

The file sat in the basket for a few more minutes before Voltaire cracked and fished it out again.

It had a few blurry photos, a short statistical sheet, nothing of any value. The fox’s face was obscured by an eye patch that seemed to prevent the camera from catching a decent image. He had seen these feed disruptors. Justin had two eyes. Even though one was a lazy eye. Years of his father’s beatings could do that. Otherwise his eyes were perfect. What if something horrible had happened to his eyes? He shivered. Better Voltaire’s kidney than Justin’s beautiful eyes.

There wasn’t enough information here in this puny folder. He tossed it again. And kicked the trashcan across the tracks.

"Stupid…" He yelled one word and continued sitting. The answer would come to him.

"Well he won't get away that easy."

"Listen to this they say that SHUSH is investigating that Piracy act from a few months ago." a woman said.

"Man why don't they just get Karnage already. You know. Bring in some Terran ships and blow him to little bits. I won't feel safe until they catch him."

"Since when are you in Saturn?"

"It'll start in Saturn. These Martian terrorists are getting crazy. They could blow up St. Canard or Luna. They could probably place a bomb on one of these shuttles. And we just let them in."

Voltaire shifted uncomfortably.

"So SHUSH is conducting an investigation on Don Karnage. Interesting. I suppose they would have a lot of evidence. Personal information that kind of thing?" he wondered aloud.

"Where is this shuttle headed?" "St. Canard." "Hmmm. I suppose I can kick the cab fare there." He muttered to himself as a ruckuss brewed outside. He placed Buddy on his knee ridge so his back could rest comfortably against the seat and tried not drift off to sleep.

***

Voltaire arrived at SHUSH Headquarters.

This was the place. The front line in the assault against Don Karnage. If there was any place in the universe that could tell him the real story it would be here. He sighed. Nice place, if you were a guy who could handle that, a salary, a master. In his darker moments he wouldn’t have minded working here.

He sat on the secretary’s desk, greeting a grey rodent, with dark pink lipstick. She was kinda cute but not his thing. She sat rifling through papers. Voltaire saw a set of metal keys hanging from a hook on the desk. There was only one dame their. He could smoke her. Flash his green eyes and a smile, pull a little Frank Sinatra action out.

"Hey you with the face, is your boss in?"

Oracle looked up at Static Sputterspark her teammate. He was sitting on top of her desk wearing funky black plastic frames

"Why are you dressed like that?" she laughed him off. "What’s with those glasses?"

"Look Sweetums we can talk about your little fashion advice later. Right now I got important information on the whereabouts of Don Karnage. Do you know who that is Cookiepuss? Well all you gotta know is that he’s a really bad tough guy all right. So you just scoot your little sweet buns into Oracle’s Office and go get him."

Oracle took off her glasses looked Static in the eye.

"Are you okay?"

"He’s expecting me. Go on get your buns out of that chair and get him" He helped her out of her chair.

"What are you- I have work."

He slapped her on the butt

She grabbed his face, and slammed it against her desk.

"Oww."

"Static have you lost your mind?"

"Where’d you learn to do that?" Voltaire asked.

"What?"

"Come on, Cookiepuss. How could a pretty thing like you-"

She slammed his head into the desk again.

"It’s Oracle. Either that or Ma’am." Oracle tweaked his nose.

"Excuse me. Didn’t know you were one of those women." He sighed

Oracle tried to grab the obnoxious rodent.

He dodged this time with a little more dexterity than she was used to.

"Well Oracle, would you mind horrendously to go get your real boss. I have something important to tell him."

"I don’t have a boss. I am Head of the Future Ones. You got a problem you see me. And you obviously have a problem I can’t do anything about."

"All right all right fine then toots. Have it your way. I’ll go find someone else." He left the office.

"I’m not done with you. Static. Static you get back here."

He clutched the keys.

"Oh great the dames after me now."

He looked around making sure no one could see him.

He relaxed his legs. So his knees pointed behind him. He wasn’t going to be able to outrun anyone. He flexed his long backward knees and hopped down the hall. since he had his father’s long frog’s legs, He could hop much faster than he could run. Most of the time he didn’t hop, to blend into his surroundings. Most of the time it looked like his legs were just a little bowed. But his legs were not made to run. He had to hop or he would bust his kneecaps.

He hopped down the hall furiously hoping he would find the right door before the secretary squealed.

***

Static sat practicing his Debussy in his room on his electric violin. He tuned it up. The treble was a little wavery. He straightened the headphones.

This was so cool playing on VR. It sounded like he was playing a Stratoavarius instead of his simple fiddle. The sound of a real wooden violin was still superior it was fun to practice on. This also had orchestral accompaniment. You could play duets, trios, even orchestras along with your practice. Static was so excited he picked an easier piece that he knew better, Brandemburg concierto number 5, just so he could hear what he would sound like. His mother had placed a violin in his hand at the age of 3. She always told him one day he would be first chair violin in a big orchestra. He played with a 38 piece orchestra behind him. He was having so much fun.

***

Sensei Ryu-San sat at the head of his Kendo class. All his students eager and happy standing in a row awaiting his wisdom.

"Welcome to Beginning Kendo. I am Sensei Usagi Garyuu. Kendo is a time honored discipline of my people, used to instill the virtues of focus, singlemindedness and reverence to your fellow warrior."

"When do we start whacking stuff?" Hans Cheeckpouch asked.

Ryuu sighed, it was the same every year.

"I think we should jump right in. We must first start with Reigi."

"Is that like a secret Japanese move." Flight asked.

"It means appropriate protocol and ettiquette."

"Ettiquette? I thought we were fighting here."

"We are fencing and fencing is a sport with rules and regulations."

****

"…Now in European style fencing one must stand as so. With the heels off the ground. As to afford flexibility. But to stand as this is Kendo is fool hardy. It leaves you off balance. So we must stand like this."

Flight was barely keeping awake for the class.

"Wake up. Mallard-san."

"Oh right yeah standing."

"We must learn to stand if we are to learn how to move."

"Right right."

"It is the common mistake of the initiate to prove to eager to whack stuff. It is only through discipline that you may-"

"Come on I wanna swordfight."

"Moss-san, might I remind you for the last time this is a fencing class. Not for sword fighting."

"Well what’s the diff? You whack stuff."

The rabbit turned around and shouted something in Japanese, and held his breath

"Now. We shall begin the warmups

Voltaire wandered in.

"Hey look. It’s the Agent Shrimp."

"Hey Static." Flight waved.

Voltaire looked over his shoulder.

"So you finally decided to come down to a real class." Flight said.

"Trust me I’ll hang back." The last thing he needed was to attract more attention to himself. He reclined and stretched out his legs on the gym mat.

"Oh is the baby afraid hims get hurt by a widdle wooden sword." Pete mocked.

"Bokken." Sensei Ryu corrected. "All are free to watch, provided they do not interupt." He smiled at Voltaire.

"Now as I was saying."

Pete Moss stood next to him

"Ooooh Look at me. Mr. Time Man. What are you going to do? Gonna smack someone over the head with a watch?"

Even Flight laughed at that one.

"Sorry Static."

"What? How did you know I was the"

"What’s a matter is the rat chicken?"

"I’ll bet he is. His grandma was a duck." Pete guffawed.

Something snapped inside of Voltaire’s head. Ryuu stared at him.

"Look it’s one thing when you are gabbling nonsensically about static electricity or whatever. But you just defiled the name of my great ancestress, The Mother of Light, the Bridge of The Truth Faith, Ricia Fedora. kiddo. You want a sword fight?"

"Yeah."

"Bokken now." Static shouted martially. Flight handed him a bokken.

"Static, I know this guy is embarassing you maybe you should start out a little slower." Flight suggested. "You know uh-"

"Oak? No bamboo?"

"I’m going to get you, you shrimp." Pete growled.

"Engard." He fell into position.

"Nice starting position." Ryuu scratched his chin.

His opponent waited.

Static being a shorter and inexperienced fighter, seemed to carry his weight in his hips, with his legs bowed sensibly, creating great stability. But Pete also noticed that his hips were straining, making his ankles vulnerable. Hence the obvious response would be to attack low placing the strikes below his stomach.

He would have been able to use all these advantages. And easily win this bout. Sensei Ryuu dropped his hand.

Instead Static Sputterspark closed the distance with a flying attack. As the bewildered muskrat looked up, Static smacked him in the head three times, cracking the boken over his head.

He landed on his opponent’s chest, straightened his tie.

"You should have used bamboo." He tossed the cracked boken aside.

Sensei Ryu passed. "You see my students. Static Sputterspark and Pete Moss." He pointed at the groaning pile of muskrat related tissue. "have shown us the difference between fencing and sword fighting. Now that was a sword fight."

"And it would honor me if any of my students wished to engage in a sword fight with me."

They shook their head.

"Didn’t you guys want to whack things? Step up we shall fight."

The students stood silently for a second and then stepped behind the line.

"AH excellent. So shall we continue fencing class?"

The students stared in awe at the departing rat. Ryuu grabbed the boken from Pete’s hand.

"Now we shall commence with the bouts. We shall form the kira keisha. You will strike the opponent on your left and then on your right. Mallard-san, would you be so kind as to…"

****

Jet lead Random down the hall. Random still was uncomfortable walking down such a crowded hall.

"Don’t worry you’re not alone. I hate this place. It always gives me the willies." Jett said.

"Aren’t you a SHUSH agent?"

"Yeah well, I don’t like the academy. All those snooty rich kids. Not Oracle, but my parent’s couldn’t afford sending me to the academy. I just had to work really hard. Practically no social life. I got in, and I had to take compulsories here. Everyone seemed so smart and tough. Like they were glued into the uniform. Man I never have fit in here."

Random held her hand

"I guess I’m not alone."

She really did enjoy her long quiet walks with Random. He was so handsome. She never was too good at keeping guys interested in her. She would get all flustered and stupid and embarrass herself. Random seemed to regard her a little more compassionately than most guys. Even though he didn’t say much, she always felt like he was listening, she found herself sharing all kinds of things with him. When he was around she didn’t make a fool of herself.

"Random uh."

"Yes Jett."

"Um come on I’ll show you the hydroponic solarium. I think the roses are in bloom."

"It’s strange that they can have flowers so far away from Earth." Random mused. "But then why should I doubt. They brought you here and you didn’t even get space sick." He grinned

"Oh Random." It was like he knew just how to embarrass and please her.

They stared at each other for a long time, intensely. Until Jett realized he wasn’t staring at her, but the window behind her. She sighed.

They had walked by the Fencing studio.

"Who is that guy?"

Jett turned around to get a better look "It looks like Static."

"Static doesn’t have green eyes." Random said.

"I can’t really see his eyes all the way over here. Can you Random?"

Random was gone.

"Whoa wait for me…"

****

Flight passed Static in the hall, still wearing the headphones

"Hey Mr. Dude man. I heard about what happened in the studio." Flight said

"You heard Sorry I’ll keep it down." Static shouted.

"You are the man, man."

"Oh come on. I didn’t do anything fancy. Just the Brademburg Concierto. I should have tried the Debussey but I got carried away"

"Oh so that’s what it’s called."

"You think this stuff is cool Flight?"

"Oh yeah I mean… It was beautiful."

"You didn’t strike me as the classical music type."

Pete wobbled down the hall.

"So Static. You didn’t have the courage to face me at lunch. So I’m coming after you."

"Excuse me?" Static asked

"Draw."

The irate muskrat pulled out an oak bokken and his buddy tossed Static one.

"No I don’t do swordfighting stuff." Static tried to hand him back the weapon.

"Fencing." Flight corrected

"You will not dare to face me in a fair fight?" Pete handed it back.

Static handed him back the sword.

"No, as a keeper of Time, I’m a pacifist."

"Pacifist? uh Static, you cracked a wooden bokken over his head, and jumped on his chest. Now maybe pacifist means a different thing in your time but…" Flight said.

"What are you talking about? I wasn’t-"

"Come on jump on his head again. Show that jerk whose boss." Flight said. He shoved Static into the fray.

"But I-I –"

"I’ll get you Sputterspark."

The Muskrat tried to hit Static.

"Ah Not in the face."

Flight shouted as Static ran. "Just use some of that Brandemburg Concierto on him. That’ll teach the punk."

****

Voltaire tried to leave the studio as inconspicuously as he could, with the amazed sensei asking him too many questions. It was like he was being confused with somebody else. How else could he have made it into the complex without security clearence.

He could never master the computer security codes by himself. But perhaps they would have enough paper evidence, photos, files. Something that could tell him who Don Karnage really was. He had to find out, no matter what the price no matter, what the struggle…

A duck man with huge feather wings tapped him on the shoulder. He had never seen that many ducks in his life, but he was sure they did not have wings.

"You wimp. You could have taken that guy. What you doing now?"

"Sod off feather head. You’re not stopping me, you son of a-"

"Did you forget your security code again Static?"

"What?"

"Not again. It’s 11 4 5 zed beta alpha. Four Five. Zed. Not 54. Now after me 1145 zed beta alpha?Okay."

"1145 zed beta alpha."

The door to the archives slid open.

Voltaire saw the single most impressive collection of blackmail he had seen in his life. Enough compromising photos, military secrets to keep him in cream for the rest of his life. He drooled.

"What’s with you?" The winged duck passed his hand across his face.

"Thank you Mr. Mallardson." He bowed, and dove into the files with relish.

Flight stared at his teammate, getting ecstatic over paperwork.

"Okay the Music thing was nerdy. But what enjoyment could you possibly get out of microfiche and flash paper and old contracts? Passports. This file here on SHUSH military technology spending two years ago. I mean it’s just an itemized list."

"Oooh Baby I hit the jackpot." He crammed the file Where are the D’s."

"I don’t know."

"What are you doing?"

"I’m looking for info on Don Karnage if you must know. Help me. That way we can get out of here before…" he looked at the oblivious duck "Um dinner." Voltaire smiled.

"Anything is better than wasting my time in kendo, with that boring Ryuu Usagi. He spent the whole class teaching us how to stand. What does Oracle see in that guy?"

"He seemed like a good sword master to me.It takes years to develop skill. You were lucky to hold the weapon in your first class. Most Sensei wouldn’t let you skip that far ahead. It’s not in the D’s. Help me look through the K’s."

****

Static ran down the hall away from the insanely jealous muskrat. Into Oracle.

"Oops."

"Okay Static, what in the name of gravy is going on? and How did you change your clothes back so fast?"

Static could tell Oracle was stressed out.

"Hello Oracle."

"Don’t you Cookiepuss me you obnoxious jerk. should demote your butt back to the 13^th century, sans flea powder right in the middle of the bubonic plague."

"What did I do Ma’am?"

"Look, if you slap me on the butt again Static Sputterspark and I’ll throw you across the street." Oracle stabbed her finger into his chest.

"What did I do?"

"Don’t play dumb with me. And another thing when I am reprimanding you you sit down. You don’t run off…"

"I didn’t I have seen you all…"

"I don’t believe this. Now you are lying. I am too angry to deal with this right now. You come to my office and we’ll have a little talk about a thing we call respect."

"But I-"

Oracle stomped off.

***

"Look Static bud we’ve been here for an hour. This is boring. Let’s go to the simulators." Flight said.

"Here I brought some baby carrots. Now put a sock in it." Static continued to read the files

"You beat up one guy and everything changes." Flight said. "I was giving you but four hours ago."

Static put down the file. Straightened his glasses and walked over to Flight

"Eat your carrots and leave me alone ya feather duster." Static brushed a piece of lint off of him.

Flight gulped and sat down and chewed on the carrots.

"Want some err Static?"

"Thanks for letting me eat my own food Flight."

Somehow Static flicked his tongue and grabbed the carrots.

Flight stared wide eyed.

"Static when did you get a prehensile tongue?"

"I always had one. If you had been paying attention. By Buddy’s guitar pick."

"Oh." Flight said.

This was too strange. Static was acting very strange and Flight could gurantee that he couldn’t eat carrots with his prehensile tongue. There was only one explaination.

Static was possessed by an evil alien life form, gutted and now was enslaved on some far off planet doing the cancan for a race of alien bugs while his pod form was going around eating peoples brains. It was the only logical explaination.

"I’m going to go to dinner now."

"Good."

"I’m leaving the carrots."

He walked outside the door, walking very quietly. He shut the door and ran like heck.

"Oracle Oracle."

Voltaire perked up his ears and crammed the file in his shirt.

"Oh now you don’t you little snitch."

****

Random finally found Static, looking in every direction

"Sputterspark."

"You aren’t going to beat me up or anything are you. I mean all I did all day was practice the Brandemburg Concierto. I guess people must really hate violin music."

"I sense mischief a foot. Who was that green eyed rat?"

"Green eyed rat?"

"I thought it was Static."

"I’m going to get that Sputterspark." Pete glowered. "First he won’t fence me fair then he won’t fight me at all."

The members of his dojo formed behind him

"It’s all a plot by Orchid clan to make Rose Clan look stupid."

"Let’s get that… whatever it is."

Flight ran down the dark archive room looking for Oracle as Voltaire snuck silently behind him.

"Static. Oh great he’s hunting me now."

He began to run.

"Going so soon, duckie."

Static kneeled but backwards and hopped after him.

"argg. Mutant Static."

"I can’t let you sharing with your friends what I was doing in there."

"God he’s like some kind of animal. How am I supposed to escape his frog like leaps."

He clutched his wings trying to hide.

"Oh. Well…." Flight crouched to take off

"You can run but you can’t-" Voltaire looked around where did you go?"

Flight zoomed down the corridor.

He almost ran into a shelf. He knocked it over and threw the books back at his pursuer.

"Oh crap Now I know why I don’t fly inside." He dodged another bookshelf.

Mutant Static followed in hot pursuit with high long leaps. He tried to grab at Flight again and again.

Flight grabbed onto a heat vent and ripped off the cover. The Mutant tried to reach him.

"You can’t get me you can’t-"

The mutant grabbed his leg.

Flight squeezed up through the vent trying to shake the frog thing off.

He kicked it in the face and burst into the hallway running to take off.

At this moment Random was following Static down to the studio.

Flight crashed into Random sprawling him into the wall. The mutant leapt to catch Flight and ran into Static.

"There’s he is." Random said, his bill smooshed into Flight’s.

The two rats sat side by side. Shaking each themselves off.

"Two Statics?"

"Obviously not. One of them isn’t Static."

"I know that. It’s just I don’t see identical twins of my teammates every day."

Oracle saw Static ahead in the hall as she passed

"Now listen up Static and you too Static. I won’t tolerate your-" Oracle stopped

She went back down the hall and approached again. And looked at them again

"Okay…What What…"

"What’s a matter cookie puss? Snarfidrax got your tongue?" Voltaire hissed bitterly.

"What is going on?" Oracle said.

"He’s an alien pod replicant of Static." Flight said.

"Really?" The mutant asked.

"No wonder he was so into those records on Don Karnage in the archive." Flight said.

"How did he get into the archive?" Oracle asked

"Well I thought he was-" Flight pointing…

"Oh no Flight you moron I’m sending you back to...I don’t know but it’s going to be sooo disgusting you’ll wish I had sent you back to the Jurassic..."

As Oracle smacked Flight and scolded him, Static approached his double.

"Wow." Static said.

"You don’t get out much. Do you kid?" The other one said.

"I’m Static."

"Oh that’s a name? I thought they were making a joke." He leaned on the wall.

What are you doing with my face Kid? You’re getting lame vibes on it." He snapped his fingers and crossed his arms "You aren’t one of them replicating pod creatures like in that movie I saw at the Aztec."

"Well, If my perceptions are correct, you have got to be a version of me from an alternate time line."

"Yeah, it’s real neato."

"I’ve never met one of me before. This is so cool. Through studying you I can find out my foibles, the meaning of my life, the innermost reflection of what I think and feel personified in a living being."

"I need a drink."

"Here have my water." he shoved the bottle eagerly in his face

"I don’t do water." He pulled out a flask.

"We have so much to catch up on." Static hugged him.

"Get your crummy mits off the material, you lame square you. You almost spilled my Scotch. Now shut"

Static continued asking questions

"Where do you live with Annex and the Rebels or with my parents or who? Are you training to be Time Keeper? What do you do?"

"Oh tell you what I do Princess." The rat cracked his knuckles ominously

It only seemed like a second had passed and the creature and Static were gone.

"Oracle where did the Imposter go?" Random said.

"Split up."

Random sniffed the air.

"This way." Flight followed him.

Oracle spun around.

"Come on Static we’ve got to get that imposter. Who know what he could have stolen for Don Karnage? Get my back."

"Of course Miss Oracle."

The white rat creature followed behind closely. Whistling.

"Keep your eyes peeled." She said padding down the hallway with him behind her.

She walked down the hall looking for the intruder. She saw someone but it was only someone in the karate studio in a white gi.

"Gee golly, Miss Oracle he sure is clever. I bet he could hide in plain view and no one would know." He hid a pair of glasses.

"Come on. I’m not Flight. I can tell the difference between…"

She saw Static tied up and hanging from the rafters gagged with a house plant.

"Oracle it’s a-"

"Trap."

At once the tail cracked on her shoulder and she went limp. She was still conscious.

"If I take the pressure off in a few minutes you may be able to keep your arm." "Thank you. For holding my glasses. Cousin. Don’t follow me. I got no beef with you Charly Chan." He chucked Static in the chin.

"Come on Hostage."

Voltaire lifted her over his shoulder.

****

"Attention Agents and Directors of SHUSH. I have Oracle here under my custody. All I want is a nice easy access to my spacecraft. You mess with me she’s paralyzed if she’s lucky, and I’m not going to be happy. So that means people are going to die."

"This is so embarassing." Oracle gritted her teeth.

"SHUSH will not comply with the demands of Terrorists." Ryuu said.

"Yeah Forget it punk. You are history." Flight said.

The rat hybrid sighed. "Suit yourself."

He lifted Oracle and tossed her at the guards. She knocked about six of them over.

Soon the mob sent to attack Static Sputterspark was out watching the battle cheering on the mayhem.

Ryuu ran to Oracle. Checking her pulse. He stabbed his finger into her shoulder. She could move it again.

"Watch yourself, he knows the sacred art of Tail Chai." Ryuu said gravely.

"What’s that?" Flight said.

"An ancient form of Quack-Fu whose origins are murky to this day. It is the most dangerous and forbidden of all the arts.

The remaining guards converged.

Voltaire spun around barely grazing them with his tail.

Ryuu approached cautiously avoiding the rat’s tail.

"Come on he’s just swinging his tail? I mean it’s not like he’s-"

Voltaire jabbed his tail into Flight’s elbow, and he fell over.

"OWWWWWWOWWOWOWOWOW." Flight screamed "How did he-"

"Pressure points."

He stabbed Oracle in the chest and she twisted her head.

Static spat the last of the rope out and he fell face first into the ground

"I’m coming guys." He tripped over the ropes. He pulled his watch out.

"I’ll freeze him with my…"

The rat hybrid tripped him and the watch went flying into the air.

"watch."

"Oh real Graceful." Flight tried to clap but the Tail chai still paralyzed him."

"Well well well. I told you I have no beef with you. But if you want to play the big bad Time Keeper and be a Sputterspark. Then I should introduce myself."

"It’s me Voltaire."

"Voltaire."

"You crummy little… Don’t you pretend like you don’t know who I am."

"I don’t."

"How you doing? You might not recognize me. They must have lost my invitation for the Family Picnic."

"Wait…"

"That and your father and uncles erased my mother, my home, my world and a 17 billion people into shadowy oblivion."

Static grabbed the watch and sent a ray at him.

The bigger rat sneezed.

"Stupid watch Why can’t I?"

"Ooh." Voltaire tsked "Do you know how much damage can happen when you use these rays indiscriminately?"

He wretched the watch away from him. Random leapt for an attack.

"Like this."

He zapped Random, midair frozen in a Time Bubble.

"Or this."

He froze the bolts approaching him.

"I’ll throw the grenade." Honey said.

The grenade skittered on the ground.

It was tossed back.

"Hit the deck" Honey said.

The grenade sat dormant.

"Or that."

Static backed down.

"Very dangerous, my Little Lightning Bug." He tossed the watch over his shoulder.

"You know how to…"

"And for you, little wise guy. Say Goodnight." He snapped his vicious green tail

Static winced and cowered in the corner. He was doomed

Voltaire attacked him, his tail about to crack against his head

Static’s tail forced it out of the way. And rammed into the wall. Voltaire swore in pain.

"I’m gonna ventilate you."

"Don’t hurt me. I didn’t mean it. Its just…" Static crawled away.

The second Voltaire drew his sword, he keeled over.

"Blow dart." Honey said. "Oooh I just love me new toy."

Voltaire was handcuffed, as his muscles became limp.

Oracle stretched.

"Are you okay Oracle-chan?" Ryuu asked.

"That misogynisitic jerk. You used me as a weapon."

"You will be all right despite the bruises." Ryuu held her up.

"Yeah. SO stop touchy touchy." Flight said.

"It’s good someone knew what he was doing. Otherwise who knows what could have happened."

"Allow me to Help you Mallard-san."

"It’s all right."

"The Tail Chai takes an expert to unfix."

The rabbit smacked him on the back of the head.

"Hey. Why you…" He grabbed Ryuu. "Hey I can move."

"You are most welcome."

Noelle Muddlefoot came down the hall with SHUSH guards.

"Excellent work in capturing the intruder." She addressed the team.

"Thank you." The Future Ones said.

"Guards."

They grabbed Static.

"Hey Hey. Not me. The groggy hysterical guy."

"What’s going on?" the rat twitched. "I’ll get you Sputterspark and your little dog too."

***

Dr. Medula Oblongata Bushroot, Daughter and only heir to Dr Sarah Bellum-Glomgold looked at the sword.

"It’s a sharp sword." She said.

"Tell us something we don’t know."

"It is the size of half an iron molecule. Watch this."

They watched her cut a paramecium in half.

"Now it really is a Pair of Mecium." She laughed.

"How could it be so sharp?"

"Special grinding techniques perfected by the Pokemon Empire. I’ve see a sword that could cut water molecules."

"The subject has been rendered temporarily insane by the frog hormones."

"How was I supposed to know he was a frog." Honey asked.

"Hopefully the drug will be out of his system in a day. Then we can question him further in the involvement in Don Karnage’s gang."

"Was that what he was after?" Random asked.

"Don Karnage would begin with D." Flight said.

"The Director says she’s going terminate the agent who did it."

"She can’t fire me. I don’t work here."

"I don’t think she meant discharge I mean I think she’s going to find the guy and plug him with her double barrel shotgun."

"She’s not that tough. I’ll just ease the news to her, with a little finesse."

Oracle stared "This is Noelle Muddlefoot. Even she is impervious to your overwhelming…ness."

"Noelle Muddlefoot? Ahah. That’s the name of Gos’s kid. Her eldest last time. Noelle."

"Huh?"

"My Aunty Gosalyn. Noelle was the eldest. Noelle, Trina and Ned. Wow my lil cousin is all grown up? And she’s in charge of FOWL. Cool."

Noelle Muddlefoot hobbled into the office. She was a plain looking goose, her hair had faded for it’s bright red. She looked at her cousin and swatted him in the rump with her cane.

"Flight you knucklehead. Half the time I wonder if FOWL didn’t just send you here to drive me crazy." Noelle tsked. "The other half I wonder why they hired you in the first place."

"Noelle. What happened to you?"

"It’s been 70 years."

"But you were a baby when I left?"

"Hmm. You know If it hadn’t have been for me you wouldn’t have even been nominated for the Future Ones. Everyone on the council wanted to bring a guy named Max Goof. But I stuck it out for you."

"Is that anyway to talk to the man who changed your diapers?"

"And I thank you. But I think it would be safer if you never come the HQ again."

"Oooh I feel so deprived. I’m going to miss my kendo class."

"You’re lucky I don’t send ya back to St. Canard Pen where you belong. The things I gotta put up with for the family."

"Don’t feel too bad Lil Nono."

Agent MacCawber please escort Mr. Mallard back to your space craft.

"Yes Miss Muddlefoot." Random said.

"By Cousin Nono."

"I’m never gonna live this down." Noelle said.

"I can’t imagine you in diapers ma’am." Oracle laughed.

"As of late. I am demoting your security status in relation to Martian Affairs and Don Karnage from silver to green level."

"What?"

"Just on Martian affairs. The rest of your files will be open. Now that they have Static’s account number they could hack into any file on Don Karnage."

"Of Course." Oracle said dejected.

"It’s not your fault kid. It’s barely Flight’s fault. Don Karnage is crafty. He’d never directly hire spies. This Voltaire Grenouille guy is probably just a front to distract us from something important. Like the Saturnine Grain shipment case."

"But Ma’am how would Karnage know we were overviewing the evidence. He’s a demagoge not a pyschic." Oracle said

"Look I just find it very suspicious that this happened on the same day at the same location." Noelle said.

"This change in your security status in no way reflects our disappointment. The Director was very pleased at how you handled yourself. We just can’t give Karnage an inch. We almost got him."

Noelle sat down.

"If you need info on Don Karnage you come to me get it straight from the horse’s mouth. This security level is merely a formality. You need to know anything come to me. If I’m not there, I got good support on Mars. Muster, especially."

"The Mcduck guy? He’s such a leach."

"Well Leaches won’t disappoint you. I want to start interrogation soon. Bring down MacCawber and Sputterspark."

"Static?"

"Something about the kid upset him. We could use it."

"Yes Ma’am."

"So Static what do you know about these alternate timelines?"

"Things happen that cause other things to happen. Usually things you don’t expect."

"Please stop. My head is spinning. Should I write this down?"

"It’s very complex. Okay. Every single motion in the universe has a myriad of possibilities influences on a cold and indifferent universe. That make you feel good?" Static said "All possibilities could be true. All stories are true."

"SO why does that make Voltaire so angry at you? And if he is you, why is he helping Karnage."

"Maybe his reality was rendered unstable. The Sputtersparks are always tweaking history. Maybe he must have erased himself from history."

"So you’re saying he doesn’t exist?"

"No. If he had a paradox protecting him. Something he left back in time, something that was left untouched by the influence of a time keeper, he could maintain a state of flux, shifting between Quantum –"

"Everything that could happen has." Oracle hushed I saw a movie like that ‘It’s a Stupendous Life’ a World War II vid. Because this guy was never born the town fell apart… My parents watched it at Christmas."

"It’s a favorite theme of Science Fiction actually. Say World War II happened or or…"

"Or a dynasty arose on Mars eliminating the need of a Martian corporation, which soon gave rise to the greatest military empire in history. It easily crushed the defenses of the planet Earth after the populace was devastated by a series of avian targeted bio-chemically engineered plagues which killed over 7 billion ducks, chickens, birds." Voltaire said "Decimating the population of Earth and adding a crippling blow to the continuation of current societal norms, restructuring society back into feudalistic regime."

Oracle talked to Static

"But why would you or this version of you want to help Don Karnage break into SHUSH?"

"I don’t work for Karnage. I never even met the guy."

"Then why were you stealing his dossier."

"Frankly I find the webcasts distasteful and cursory sources of information. I wanted background."

"Why?" Random grinned ominously which normally worked in interrogation.

"I’m not at liberty to tell. Even a sweet little number like your self." Voltaire winked at Random. Random shut up.

"You broke into SHUSH, and stole high level military secrets for no reason." Oracle said.
"Well it gave me something exciting to do. It’s not like anybody died."

"Okay smart guy. Where is Karnage?"

"In Space?"

"Be Specific."

"His spaceship." Voltaire said

"You…"

"It’s called the Star Vulture. A CTX 37 Space Cruiser."

"No no no." Oracle pounded the table.

"He’s not. Well then that information is worthless. I schleped here all the way from Luna Base for nothing." Voltaire grumbled

"Tell us where we can find him." Oracle said

"I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Mrs. Karnage?"
"He’s married." Oracle said excited

"No but I have it on good authority that he probably has a mother, being that he was born and stuff."

"Who’s Mrs. Karnage?"

"A verrry close personal friend of Mr. Karnage." He clicked his teeth.

"Nonsense I’ll probably slip in a few more hours. Or my name isn’t Elmo." He chuckled "Oh no I told you my name."

"Elmo! Ahhah. You’re name is Elmo."

"And he said before his name is Sputterspark."

"Ahahha. Random get to the Records and find a file on Elmo Sputterspark. We got you."

Voltaire smirked.

"Wait Elmo… Where did I hear that?"

Flight punched up a file.

A geeky looking pink rodent in a tacky yellow 70’s style jumpsuit appeared, and a stocking cap with plugs on it.

"Who in the heck is that?"

"Elmo Sputterspark, AKA Megavolt born 1963 died 2065."

"I thought the said you used truth serum on this guy. It isn’t working."

"God bless the Great father of Light." Voltaire whispered slyly.

"Our truth serum has flaws. It doesn’t absorb into amphibian’s neocortex as fast."

"My name is Elmo Sputtersparque though. Why should I even bother being honest with you people?"

"We can try the talaxian device."

"What’s that?" Oracle asked.

"Ah device that inhibits back brain function. Making judgement impossible. It attaches to connections in the brain."

"Surgery? No thirtieth century quack is gonna touch my melon." Voltaire said.

"Is it even legal?"

"It’s pretty new. We’ll try it later today." Dr. Mendula said.

"Well, I don’t know. I mean truth tests are one thing but mind devices."

"Oracle we do appreciate your help and commend your team’s effort in stopping the spy, this is an internal matter for us to deal with."

Static had snuck out of the interrogation. He moped in the corner, hiding. He was a nerdy wimp. When the situation demanded it he couldn’t even use his watch right. He couldn’t even help his friends question the prisoner.

"Most interesting young Sputterspark." Ryuu passed

"What? Making an idiot of myself. Crawling away like a coward?"

"It was prudent for you not to attack him. You would have gotten yourself hurt. Next time I would watch where I was running."

"Yes. Just go ahead and laugh."

"I do not laugh. I would have run if my skills not been necessary in defeating him."

"Well you didn’t run?"

"I also didn’t attack. I think we were the only people with half a brain to keep away from that guy. But you fared excellently."

"Me."

"You fought very well."

"I just spazzed out."

"Then how did you deflect his attack?"

"Um I don’t know. It just came naturally."

"Ah. So you are unschooled in the martial arts?" Ryuu said

"Well yeah. As Time Keeper I must be a pacifist. Besides I couldn’t do anything like that. I’m a clutz. I trip over myself."

"You must learn how to carry yourself with grace your body deserves. The art will teach you that."

"I run into things."

"You must focus on where you are and not where you should be or where your perceptions limit yourself too. The art will teach you that."

"I once got my chin trapped in a toaster."

Ryuu looked strangely. "How did you do that?"

"It’s a long story."

Ryuu placed his arms.

"Static, In the time I have observed I have realized, your instincts are very strong. And I know that your ‘natural skills’ such as the electricity thing and your watch are great powers. Learning the art shall discipline you and make it easier for you to control your body. The art is more about pulling your punches than kicking butt."

"

"It would take years to train. To learn the Tail Chai technique takes 5 years. And you are a beginner, so who knows. Sensei Gecko taught me the pressure points. But I never have mastered this school because of my species." He pointed at his fluffy white tail. "With your skill you could become a great master."

"Who knows, you might need to fight someday. It’ll probably more pacifistic to punch one guy in the face than blow up a school building?" Oracle said.

"I’ll have to think about it." Static said. "I mean what would my dad say. Learning how to fight. I don’t even know if a Sputterspark could."

"It is better that you think about it. Most young men would love the chance to take names and kick butt."

"Yeah well most guys didn’t burn down their dog’s house when they were 7. My parents always told me to be careful. I don’t want to make the wrong decision."

Flight sighed

"I still feel like this whole Voltaire thing is unsettled. We should do something."

"What can we do? They took us off the case." Oracle said. "We aren’t even allowed into the Martian Affairs database anymore. You’re banned from HQ. We can’t investigate the issue any further. It’s best if we just forget about it and wait for our next mission."

"Well maybe we can’t investigate anymore. But we should do something…"

"What find the Time Pirates and ask them why they sent a spy?"
"Maybe."

"Lure the Time Pirates here with some clever scheme…"

"Yeah that sounds good."

"And when they were here we’d strike…"

"Yeah that’s the ticket."

"And then We’d have a sleepover!"

"Yeah… what?"

"Face it Flight, we don’t have a reason to go after the Time Pirates."

" Well Grandpa Drake said Fortune favors the bold"

"Descartes."

"Drakespeare."

"And I say you’re just looking for trouble."

"Boy just the thought of it. I mean the idea that any one of us could be a mole for the Time pirates. It’s upsetting. And Static of all people. No one could tell…"

"He didn’t act like me."

"He did a pretty good job when he wasn’t being a Bamf, with the swords and the evil frog tongue and stuff."

"Yeah we look alike. I get the point."

Flight sat back, and stared at Static.

"I can’t get over it. You look so much alike."

"I got it. We switch the tables." Flight spun Static around in the seat.

"If Don Karnage can send a spy to pretend to be Static. Maybe we can switch the situation." Flight scratched his chin.

"What?"

"Static put on his glasses."

Oracle grabbed the glasses.

Static put them on.

"Whoa, these do make it easier to focus your eyes. I can see. What are these things?"

"Glasses, they correct myopia."

"They must have the same prescription." Flight said.

"My maternal great grandfather had myopia. Normally the problem is corrected in the womb, but my parents wouldn’t alter my genes for ethical reasons."

"Now look."

"They do look a lot alike."

"They’re identical." Flight said.

"Static has blue eyes."

"They are kind of bluey-greeny…bluishy… oh we can fit him with contact lenses."

"Are you saying that I should… I should pretend to be him." Static said

Oracle stared at Flight. "You’ve got to be kidding."

"What? They look a like?"

"Static has no experience in covert ops. He doesn’t know what he’s doing."

"Look we need to get Karnage before he gets us. We don’t have time. Static’s pretty smart, and he looks just like him. Sure the voice is a few octaves lower."

"And Voltaire has frogs legs."

"Scrunch a little."

Static bent his knees.

"No. Bow your legs. Like a Cowboy."

Static turned his hips out.

"Great as long as he doesn’t talk or move."

"He can handle it. Especially if we set a good scene. They’ll be so glad to rescue him from the time pirates that they won’t even question it."

"This is crazy." Oracle said.

"So crazy that it might just work." Flight said.

*****************************************************************
back to Headquaters on to part 2