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Chapter 3 [song credit "Crush" by the Dave Mathew's Band]
Lucky sat at the bar of the PC Grille when a woman burst in and sat next to him. "Sorry to be rude, but I was just admiring your suit."
"Oh thanks, it's just a black suit though," Lucky grinned and sipped his beer.
"No it's not, it's a midnight blue three button C. Morgan tuxedo suit, I should know, I'm Chloe Morgan the designer."
"Really? Well, Miss Morgan, it's nice to meet you."
"Actually it's Mrs. Jax, but that's alright."
"Didn't I read you just had a baby?"
"Oh yes, JJ is upstairs sleeping, his grandma Jane is with him. So, may I ask where you are going in one of my best designs on the male market?"
"A party over at a blues club, which I'm going to be late for, actually I'm already late."
"Oh, well then you can join me and keep me company while I have my first glass of wine since becoming pregnant."
"May I ask what is with the women and girls of Port Charles wanting to sit with men they don't know?"
"Well, I just had a feeling you were a decent guy, you have kind eyes," Chloe said sincerely.
"Thanks, call me Jon," he smiled.
"I've just been going nuts tonight. Jax went to that party at Luke's club and his parent's are being really . . .they're being in-laws, need I say more," Chloe laughed. "So, how is it that you are going to the party at Luke's, isn't it private?"
"Yeah, but I got an invite, I know the family," Lucky chuckled, better than Chloe knew.
"That's incredible, I would have went but I can't bare to be away from JJ for more than ten minutes. Even though I'm taking a breather now. I don't know, but there is something about you Jon that seems familiar . . .like I've seen pictures of you before."
"I have one of those types of faces," Lucky said nervously.
"No, I feel like I've seen you . . .I know, you look like Luke's boy. The one who died in the fire. Over at Liz and Emily's there's a picture of him, you have the same eyes, and the same mouth even. Freaky," Chloe smiled. She had never actually met Lucky, but she had scene his picture plenty.
"Well, ma'am, it was nice talking with you, I've got to get going. Maybe I'll see you around," he smiled and left some money on the bar before darting out of the restaurant.
The night air hit him and he took a deep breath. "Showtime," he said to himself.
As Lucky made his way along the docks he froze at the site of what was once the old bike shop. For some reason he still expected it to be a shell of a building, a cinder shrine to a lost life. But it wasn't, it was rebuilt and better than ever. He peered in the window, revealing that it was now state of the art. There were computers and expensive, chromium tools everywhere.
It was somewhat bittersweet he thought for some reason he half wanted nothing to have changed since he left and ran to Arizona. But it had, and Lucky didn't know how much else had changed. He stopped once he saw the lights of the club, sitting down on a bench trying to gain the courage to do what he knew must be done.
Inside the party was rocking, nobody had a glimmer of what was soon to take place. Georgie and Les were telling Maxie all about the handsome stranger they invited to the party, and getting a subsequent lecture from Robin about inviting strange men anywhere. V, Jerry, and Bobbie spent the entire night listening to Jax talk about his new baby boy. Juan and Emily picked up where they left off seven years ago; their passionate affair seemed to be back on track when the young couple disappeared into the back room of the club. Jason, Sonny, and Carly talked about her possible business venture with Liz. Felecia and Luke, who married after Laura died in the accident and Mac died in a shootout, were acting like newlyweds even though they were married for five years. Ned and Alexis and Nikolas talked and joked. Sly sat at a table with his new girlfriend, Karen Wexler, and watched as his ex-wife and good friend seem to be enjoying herself.
Chris and Liz barely stopped dancing all night. The house band was good, and mood was even better.
"I'm having such a wonderful time Chris, thanks," she whispered into his ear. "Can we go get some air please?"
"Anything you want," Chris said happily, gazing into her eyes.
They stepped out into the brisk summer evening, staring up at the stars in the sky. Chris rapped his arms around her waist, holding her close and comfortably.
"You know what?" she asked.
"What?"
"This is just the perfect evening. Don't you agree?" she asked with a small laugh.
"It's always perfect when I'm with you," Chris smiled and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
From the distance, hidden in a shadow, Lucky watched. He didn't know what to make of the situation. If Liz was happy, if she found a way to move and live her life, did he really have a right to interrupt and change that? But then again, didn't she have the right to know that he was alive and that he still loved her with every ounce of his being? Lucky fought the urge to turn around and leave Port Charles for good.
Crazy how it feels tonight Crazy how you make it all alright love You crush me with the things you do I do for you anything too
"Let's go back in," Chris suggested and walked Liz back into the club. Lucky stepped out of the shadow and took a deep breath. He didn't want to hurt the most important thing to ever happen to him, but he had to make things right. Lucky had to correct the wrong that Faison started so many years ago.
Sitting, smoking, feeling high In this moment it feels so right Lovely lady I am at your feet
"I love this song, do you want to dance Liz?" Chris asked as they stepped into the club. Liz nodded and took Chris extended hand as they walked onto the dance floor. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. She didn't have that connection of the soul when she looked at him, but she had comfort and felt wanted, and that is what she needed. She leaned her head down on his shoulder and closed her eyes as they swayed to the music.
God I want you so badly I wonder this Could tomorrow be So wondrous as you there sleeping Let's go drive 'til morning comes Watch the sunrise To fill our souls up
Lucky walked up to the door of the club, trying to gain the confidence he needed. "Wait a second son, you can't go in," the bouncer to the club said.
"I can go in, my name is on the list," Lucky said. "Jon Black, that's me. I was invited, I swear," Lucky cleared his throat and straightened his tie.
"Why are you so late then Mr. Black, the party started long ago," the man, who Lucky quickly recognized as Jason's old bodyguard Johnny, asked.
"I was real busy, can you please let me in?" Lucky asked impatiently.
Drink some wine 'til we get drunk It's crazy I'm thinking Just knowing that the world is round Here I'm dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down Is this real or am I dreaming
"Where is he?" Les bemoaned, as she and Georgie stared at the door the entire evening.
"He probably was just humoring you two, after all he doesn't even know either of you. I still think you shouldn't have done that," Robin scolded as she and Nikolas, who had been dating for a while, sat down at the table with the two teenage girls. "You have to realize that love just happens, you can't find someone for your sister and expect it to work. Just look at how long it took Liz, she's finally happy because she stopped looking." Robin pointed to Chris and Liz who stood in the middle of the crowded dance floor as if they were the only ones there.
Lovely lady Let me drink you please I Won't spill a drop, I promise you Lying under this spell you cast on me Each moment The more I love you Crush me Come on
Chris stopped dancing for a moment and stepped back to look Liz in the eye. "Liz, there is something I have to tell you," Chris whispered.
"What is it? Chris, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing's wrong, well at least nothing on my side is wrong. It all really depends on how you feel about what I have to say," Chris rambled.
"Just say it Chris, I can handle it," Liz smiled, easing Chris's worries.
"Yeah, I can tell you. Ok, here it goes. First of all I understand if you aren't ready or if you don't return . . .let me just say it. Liz, I know that you and I are friends, great friends in fact. And I've been really fine with that. But something along the way happened, and I don't even know how. Liz, I fell in love with you. And, well, what I'm saying is, I love you Liz," Chris paused and looked at Liz, searching her eyes. Her eyes were always a mystery to him, as if they had a hidden secret that nobody was allowed to know.
It's crazy I'm thinking Just knowing that the world is round Here I'm dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down Is it real or am I dreaming Lovely lady I will treat you sweetly Adore you
Lucky walked into the dark club, adjusting his tie, walking confidently with a purpose. His eyes searched the club for Liz. He first spotted his father dancing with Felecia, then his brother talking to Robin, he saw the other people he left behind many years ago. His eyes finally landed on Liz, in the middle of the dance floor, talking to Chris. He stood back in the shadow for a moment before stepping forward, into the light, where everyone could see him.
I mean You crush me It's times like these When my faith I feel And I know How I love you
"Chris, I don't know what to say . . ." Liz lifted her eyes from the ground, looked at the man in front of her and saw the want and hope in his eyes. She didn't know how to do this, she simply wasn't in love with him. She loved him, sure, but like she now loved Sly or Jason. Like a friend, someone she felt comfortable with, someone she could talk to without worry.
Suddenly she had a knot in her stomach. Her back was facing the doorway, but she felt like someone was watching her. Liz slowly turned around, her eyes not believing what they saw.
Come on Lady It's crazy I'm thinking Just as long as you're around And here I'll be dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down To each other we'll be facing By love we'll beat back the pain we've found
Lucky stood fifteen feet away from Liz, staring right into her eyes, reading what she was feeling. Confusion, disbelief, pain, love, and joy were all there. What Lucky felt was simple, it was love and relief. For ten years he was separated from half of who he was. And now, after all the pain, there she was, fifteen feet away from him, fifteen feet away from what he dreamed of for ten years.
Les and Georgie finally spotted Lucky, but something told them not to move, not to say a word. Les had a feeling that the man she met and thought was named Jon Black, was really someone else entirely.
You know I mean to tell you all the things I've been thinking deep inside My friend With each moment the more I love you
Everyone in the club froze and stared at the man before them. A haunted look captured all the happy guests' faces. What they saw was a ghost, someone they had thought dead for a long time. Someone who had long been mourned, but never forgotten. Luke swallowed hard and grasped his wife's hand. Nikolas gasped for air, not understanding what was happening. Sly rose to his feet but not moving any further.
Crush me Come on Lady So much you have given love That I would give you back Again and again Meaning I'll hold you And please Let me always
Lucky ran his shaking left hand through his hair and blinked back a single tear. He cleared his throat and looked around the room, his eyes returning to Liz's. "I'm not a ghost, I never died, and I'm back," Lucky said softly as the song on the jukebox faded out. The club was left in a stunned silence, all eyes on Lucky Spencer, ten years later.
Chapter 4
"Oh my God," Liz whispered. This couldn't be happening, the moment she dreamed of for ten long years, it couldn't possibly be happening.
"I can explain everything, I really can," Lucky said nervously, his voice shaking as he looked around the room.
"Cowboy," Luke gasped, taking his son into his arms and hugging him tightly. "I can't believe it's you."
"Well it is," Lucky smiled, noticing Liz, frozen on the dance floor.
She tried to step forward, to take him in her arms and never let go. But she couldn't, she was frozen and scared and happy beyond belief. But how was he there? She couldn't understand.
"You, you're dead . . .how?" Carly perked up. "The fire, ten years ago . . .well, it was a set-up. I thought someone would have figured it out, but he was too good, they were too good."
"Who, who was too good?" Luke asked.
"Ceasar Faison and Helena that's who. I can't believe you didn't think of her. Dad, you or Nikolas or mom, someone should have thought she was behind it. But it was done to well, they had the token and the records and everything was . . ." Lucky shook his head. "They locked me up in this . . . I guess you can call it a room," Lucky stopped and took a seat at one of the tables, his legs were getting weak and were about to give out on him. Everyone looked on, waiting for the story.
"So you were locked up for ten years?" Sly asked his cousin.
"No, once Helena died Faison let me out."
"That was nine years ago Lucky, where have you been?" Nikolas questioned.
"I came back to Port Charles, but I shouldn't have. You know the accident that killed mom, well Faison rigged it. The one condition that my freedom had was I couldn't see any of you again. But I came back and . . ." Lucky couldn't say the words. "So I did leave, I lived on a ranch in Arizona for the last nine years."
"So why now do you chose to come back?" Nikolas asked bitterly, not understanding anything.
Lucky froze, his heart feeling like it was going to jump through his chest. He tried to concentrate on the people asking him questions, on the stunned friends and family, but all he could see was his angel standing before him.
"Lucky, what happened, why now can you come home?" Felecia asked softly, trying to curb the harshness in Nikolas's question.
Lucky swallowed hard, his hands shaking as he tried to speak. "Because I ended any threats against anyone, I . . . I killed Faison a month ago and I worked my way back to Port Charles as soon as I could.
"You killed a man?" Bobbie said, her voice shocked.
"He wasn't a man, he was a monster. And it's not like I had a choice, eventually he would have killed me or one of you," Lucky buried his head in his hands. "Maybe I shouldn't have come back, you're all happy as you are," Lucky mumbled to himself. "Maybe I should just leave, go back."
"No!" Liz shouted. "Who the hell do you think you are? Are you trying to play games with us? You reappear after ten years, like a dream and now you want to leave again. What happened to you, Lucky you would never give up?" Liz's voice was hurt and scared, something Lucky swore he never wanted to do to her.
"Oh, Elizabeth," was all he was able to get out as tears came to his eyes.
"Cowboy, why didn't you come to me, we could have helped you. You and Liz could have disappeared and you would have been together and safe, and we would have known you were alive? Why did you choose this route?" Luke asked, confused at the choice his son made.
"Because when I came back, he came through with his threat. The accident that killed mom and almost killed Elizabeth, that was Faison's doing. I couldn't take the risk. It was my fault my mother died, I couldn't let it happen to anyone else. So I did the only honorable thing and left, I had to, it was my only choice," Lucky's voice was weak, tired of fighting.
"Not even a phone call? Lucky ten years, for ten years I thought the best thing to ever happen to me was dead. I thought I'd never have the chance to look in your eyes again, or feel your lips on mine again, or hear your voice. Your father lost his best friend. Les had to be told stories so she could remember you. Do you know how much we all hurt, how much it still hurts," Liz cried.
"But you are all alive, your safe, you lived. That's because I stayed away. You are all stronger because of it, I couldn't take the risk. Elizabeth, I love you more than my own happiness, more than my own life. So I sacrificed the life I could have for yours. I worked on a ranch and did hard labor and lived alone so you could be who you are. I had to," Lucky fought through tears, looking right into her eyes.
"I have to go," she said suddenly, shaken by the feeling that Lucky stirred inside her. "Carly, can you give me a ride back to the penthouse please?"
"Liz, I can . . ." Chris began, but stopped himself, knowing that she needed her space. "I'll call you tomorrow."
"Fine," Liz said, walking out of the club.
A few more guests quickly left, sensing the intimacy of the moment. Lucky sat alone at a table, surrounded by his father and Felecia, Nikolas and Robin looked on. Sonny, Jason and V stood by the bar. Standing side by side were Sly and Chris, both uneasy and unhappy, but for different reasons.
"Now what Lucky, where do you go from here? Do you think everything will go back to normal, just like before?" Nikolas's voice was angry.
"This isn't what I expected, not at all," Lucky mumbled.
"What did you expect?" Chris spoke, for the first time, not knowing what kind of threat Lucky was.
Lucky looked up into Chris's eyes and paused for a moment. "I don't know, I knew it wouldn't be the same. How could it . . . I just, I better go," Lucky rose to his feet and tried to head of the door. He was stopped by a strong hand on his shoulder.
"Where are you going cowboy? Are you coming back?"
Lucky turned around to face his father. Luke's eyes were teary and red, but Lucky saw more. He saw the pain and loss that his father endeared for ten long years. "I'm not running anywhere, I'll be around," Lucky said, quickly hugging his father before heading out of the club.
The night air hit Lucky like a punch in the face. Maybe it wasn't the night air. Maybe it was the reaction of his loved ones. Lucky half expected it to happen this way; he counted on questions and some anger. But not from Liz, not from his angel, her reaction stung.
As he walked back to the hotel, Lucky found himself in the park by the old stone bench where he found Liz so many years ago. He ran his fingers over the cold bench as he sat down. He felt as helpless right then as he did that Valentine's Day. Lucky didn't know what to do to make everything better. He couldn't take back the years or the hurt or the pain. All he could offer was himself, his heart. He prayed to God that she would still accept it.
Liz sat on the couch of her penthouse, her hands shaking as Carly brought her a cup of tea.
"It's funny, the morning of the fire I made tea," Liz said with a sarcastic laugh.
"Liz, honey, are you alright?" Carly said taking a seat next to her good friend.
Liz snapped her head in Carly's direction, her eyes glazed over in shock and smiled. "I'm fine Carly, why wouldn't I be?"
"It must have been a great shock to see Lucky after all these years. I didn't even know him that well, but the second I realized it was Lucky, I was hit with a wave emotions. I can't even begin to feel what you are going through."
"What if Sonny disappeared for . . .hell, for a couple of years. You thought the person you loved most, more than life itself was gone and never returning. You are on the verge of finally finding happiness . . .granted not the kind you had with Sonny, but happiness nonetheless. What if he returned, out of the blue, with some story, true or not? How would you feel?" Carly shook her head; unable to even fathom what Liz was feeling inside. "I feel like my insides have been ripped out again. Carly, I was finally healed, finally almost whole again. And then like a wave crashing I saw him. It was a moment I had played over in my head everyday for years. I was to run up to Lucky, throw my arms around his neck, feel his soft lips on mine. But I didn't, I couldn't, I just froze. I stared up into his eyes, they were unwavering and comforting, just like before. But so much hit me. And I ran, I left the club and you took me home. I have to let this sink in Carly, because otherwise the same thing will happen over and over again. I won't be able to face him."
"Why, don't you still love him?"
"I haven't stopped, I will always love Lucky."
"Then why? Is it Chris?"
For a moment Liz's mind went blank. She had totally forgotten about Chris. "Oh my God, Carly he told me he loved me tonight. What am I going to do?"
"Do you love him?
"Do I love Chris?" Liz thought for a moment. "Yes, I do, but not like he loves me. It's like asking if you love Jason or AJ. Of course you do, but you are in love with your husband, you're in love with Sonny. I don't want to hurt him . . ."
"I know. Tell you what sweetie, why don't you go take a bath, relax, just let everything roll around your head. Then tomorrow morning you can deal with everything, and your mind will be a little clearer," Carly suggested.
"That sounds like a good idea. Thanks Carly, you're a good friend," Liz forced a smile and moved up the stairs, knowing Carly would let herself out.
Luke sat alone in his office, his eyes glued to the picture of an eleven year old Lucky. Felecia slipped in quietly and sat down across from her husband.
"Can you believe it? After ten years . . .he looks good doesn't he? Still as thin as a rod, but healthy. I can't believe it, my boy. But why didn't he come home sooner, we could have helped," Luke sighed.
"He's hurting Luke, it's evident in his eyes," Felecia interjected. "The ten years has hurt him too, being away from you and Liz, everyone, he's hurting and confuse too."
Luke looked up and smiled at his wife. "I don't even care that he chose to stay away, he's my cowboy and I'm going to do for him whatever he needs."
"He'll appreciate it."
"You are just incredible darlin', you know that, you make me love you more each day," Luke smiled.
Lucky stood in front of the window in his room gazing out into the night sky.
"Lucky, you in here?" a voice called out as they banged on the door.
He turned his head to the door, hoping that it was Liz but knowing it wasn't. "One minute," he said as he pulled on his shirt and walked over to the door. "Carly?"
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah sure . . .want a drink?"
"No thank you," she smiled and sat down on one of the chairs.
"So, who sent you? Jason, Sonny, my dad?"
"Nobody sent me, I felt it necessary to come talk to you myself." "Why Carly, we barely know each other."
"I know, but I love so many people that love and know you, so we are going to talk," she ordered, causing Lucky to chuckle.
"You really are a Spencer huh?"
"So tell me Lucky, what did you do for nine years in Arizona?"
"I worked on a ranch, I said that earlier."
"I remember," Carly retorted. "But did you have any girlfriends?"
"What? No, of course not. My life the last nine years consisted of work and sleep. I didn't have a life, I couldn't. My existence was either waiting to die or waiting till I could come home, whatever came first. I didn't have a need for anything else."
"It must have been awfully lonely."
"Who cares," Lucky muttered. "As long as everyone here was safe I was content."
"Do you know about Liz's marriages?" Lucky nodded. "And I'm guessing you know about her relationship with Chris Ramsey."
"Sort of, I guess."
"And what do you plan to do about it?"
"What do you mean? Do I plan to break them up? I probably won't have to. If she loves him and is happy with him I'll have to back off, but if she still feels what I can see in her eyes . . ." Lucky stopped himself and looked up at his cousin.
"You aren't any different, not from your pictures anyway. How could you be alone, doing hard work for ten years and still look like the sweet teenager you once were?"
"How come you keep asking these questions?"
"I don't want to see anyone hurt Lucky, not Liz not Luke and not you. But if you need someone to talk to, know that I'm available. I'd like to get to know my cousin this time around," Carly smiled.
"Thanks Carly, and tell everyone who asks I'm not leaving," Lucky said as he walked her to the door. Once she was gone he flicked out the lights and turned on the radio, dialing it into an old blues station. He poured himself a drink and sank into the chair that sat near the window. Lucky downed the dark liquid and sighed. "Elizabeth, I swear to God I'll make everything up to you. If it's the last thing I ever do I'll make things right for you."
Chapter 5
The next day Lucky was awoken by a pounding on his door. "What time is it?" he said groggily glancing at the clock near his bed. "What is it?" he asked sharply as he opened the door. "Sly? What is it with cousins of mine and surprises?"
"What?"
"Nothing, come in, can I offer you a brandy cause that's all I have at the moment, no room service yet," Lucky laughed.
"Well cous, how does it feel to be back from the dead?" Sly joked.
"It may be the fact that I just woke up . . .but are you taking this much better than last night?"
Sly shook his head, his smile disappearing. "What are you going to do now that you are back Lucky? I've been trying to figure this out all night. You died-well we thought you died-then you went and became a cowboy in Arizona. So what now? Do you plan to . . .to, what Lucky?"
"Are you talking about a job? Sly a job is the last thing on my mind right now, besides what do you care?"
"Well I'm sure everyone else is going to ask you about your other plans, like with your father, your sister, and most importantly the love of your life. So I'm going to get this one out of the way," Sly explained, leaving Lucky unable to tell if he were joking or serious.
"It's a wait and see type thing for me right now buddy."
Sly stopped and looked right into his cousin's eyes. "Do you hate me?"
"Why?" Lucky asked shocked.
"I married the woman you are meant to be with," Lucky shrugged his shoulders. "Come on, don't tell me it kills you inside."
"Do you want it to bother me, do you feel guilty?" Lucky asked.
"Oh come on man, I made love to her and you didn't, doesn't that bother you in the least bit." Lucky swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. He knew Liz couldn't have still been a virgin, but hearing Sly say it hit Lucky straight in the gut. "She couldn't . . .I couldn't . . .Sly, I don't care, why do you?"
"Cause I shouldn't have Lucky. She saw you in me, it was you she was with when we were in bed. I fell for her and I took advantage of her, I'm so sorry Lucky," Sly gasped as he collapsed into a chair.
"Don't say you're sorry, everything is my fault Sly. If I would have been here . . .let's just leave it in the past, ok?" Lucky said extending his hand.
Reaching up for his cousin's hand to shake, "Ok, I guess I can handle that."
Chris stood at the door of the penthouse a box of donuts in his right hand as he knocked with his left. A sleepy Emily opened the door with tiny smile.
"Morning Em, I brought donuts," Chris smiled, full of energy.
"Really?" Emily said smelling the fresh baked pastries. "Do come in."
"Thanks, is Liz up yet?"
"Actually yes, she was up early this morning, I suspect she went for a run or something to clear her head. You can wait though."
"I appreciate it," Chris sighed and slid into one of the armchairs.
"So, how are you handling everything?" Emily asked as she munched on a long john and sipped her coffee.
"Me, you are asking me how I'm handling it? Em, he was your best friend for a long time, how are you handling it?"
Emily thought for a moment; she really hadn't thought about how it effected her. Sure Lucky was once her best friend, but his reappearance had more to do with Luke and Liz than anyone. She was a little mad that she was robbed of ten years with her good friend, but also she was happy that he was alive. "I'm happy, I think everyone deep down is happy. Like Nikolas, he's feeling a lot of resentment right now, but underneath everything he's thrilled his brother is alive."
"What about Liz, how is she taking it?"
"I don't know, she was asleep when I got home and gone when I woke up. But I think she's running a gamut of emotions. You have to understand, when Lucky and Liz were teenagers their relationship wasn't an ordinary teenage romance. They were meant to be. And when Lucky died and a huge part of Liz died too. But finally, after a long battle she's getting her life back o
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