Elizabeth stood staring at the stone. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there but it was dark now. It had been five months since he died. Five of the longest months of her life. She kneeled down and traced the name with her finger. Lucas Lorenzo Spencer Jr. "I don't know how to do this Lucky." she said crying. "If you were here it would all be so easy. But how do I tell them? I haven't even really begun to believe it myself." Elizabeth thought back to two months ago when she found out she was pregnant. She'd gone to the doctors for her physical and they had told her soon after. She hadn't told anyone yet. "I will keep this baby Lucky. It will be a Spencer and like your dad said you Spencer's are connected. Our child, our baby will be my connection to you." She kissed the tips of her fingers and placed her fingers over his name once more. "I love you today…forever.
Elizabeth was sitting on the docks. She knew she shouldn't be out there. Lucky had told her so many times how dangerous they were at night. But she couldn't go home. She didn't want to go and face the loneliness. A few months after he died she had moved into a room above Kelly's. She had hated the way Gram looked at her with pity. They all did it. Emily, Nicholas, even Luke and Laura. Audrey hadn't had too much of a fit when Liz told her she was leaving, she was hurt but understood. "Hey Elizabeth? What are you doing out here by yourself?"
Liz looked up to see Jason. He was the one that had been holding her together these last few months. She'd been at Jake's one night trying to forget him and Jason had come along. It had amazed Liz how easily he understood exactly what she felt. Since then he'd taken her for rides on his bike and he was always there to listen. He was the one that never looked at her with pity. He never forced her to talk when she didn't want to, or got upset when she wouldn't say anything. "Hi Jason. I was just…thinking I guess."
"You really shouldn't be out here at night."
"I'm fine. Really. I just couldn't go back to Kelly's. I can't sleep…I…Jason can I talk to you about something?"
"Anything." He said sitting on the bench next to her. "Are you okay? I noticed you've been kind of different lately."
Elizabeth was going to tell him. She had to tell someone. "Two months ago I was at the doctors and I found out that I was pregnant." Jason didn't say anything, he just watched her knowing she had to say more. "I haven't told anyone till now. I went to Mercy not GH. I want to have this baby. It's the last link I have to him. I know if I tell Gram she'll be so upset and she'll want me to put it up for adoption."
"Elizabeth it's your body. I mean… I don't understand how anyone could force you to give your baby away. Lucky was important to you and you loved him. This baby will be part of him and you. I can understand that you want to love and care for it."
"You went through this kind of. I mean with Michael. Emily told me how Carly got scared when he was born and she left town. Was it hard? Taking care of him by yourself I mean?"
"I had help." Jason laughed. "I didn't understand about babies before. Then Michael came and I knew all they really need is love. Yeah you have to feed them and change them but it's all worth it."
Elizabeth watched him as he talked. She remembered how hurt he was when Carly and AJ got married. But then it all changed when AJ started drinking again. Carly was back in the penthouse and Jason was in love with her. Plus he had his son back. "I should let you go home to Michael."
"Why don't you come with me? Michael loves you and Carly will be glad to see you."
Her and Carly had gotten to be friends after Carly realized that Liz wasn't after Jason. Liz agreed to go with him and he helped her up. The motorcycle ride over was exciting. She always felt so good when she was on the back of his bike. It was like nothing could touch her. When they got into the penthouse Carly was on the couch reading to Michael. "Hi Liz, you staying tonight?"
"Yeah if that's okay?"
"Of course it is. Michael look whose here Mr. Man." Michael looked up and smiled at Liz. She'd spent quite a few nights in the guestroom there. Somehow they always made her feel welcome. She sat there and watched Michael. He made her wonder what her child would be, who it would look like, and who it would take after when it got older. She started getting teary-eyed and Carly noticed. "Liz are you okay?"
Liz wouldn't say anything. She knew if she did she'd start to cry. She didn't want to cry I front of Michael. Jason called for Leticia and she came down and took Michael upstairs. "I'm sorry." She said as the tears started to fall.
"Don't be." Said Jason. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Liz do you want me to leave so you can talk to Jase?"
"No, this is your home. I couldn't ask you to do that. If it's okay I just want to go to sleep."
"Go on. You know where the room is. I'll get you one of Jason's T-shirts to sleep in." Carly got up and went upstairs.
"Jason you can tell her. I know you don't like keeping secrets from her. Just ask her not to tell anyone."
"Are you sure?" Liz just nodded and went upstairs.
The next morning Liz woke up with tears falling down her face. It wasn't the same dream she usually had. The one where her and Lucky were dancing and then he disappeared. It was different. She had been holding a baby and someone had come in the room and taken it. Then everyone acted like she'd never had one in the first place. She went downstairs after she showered and put the clothes that Carly must have left for her on. Sonny and Jason were down there. They were smiling so she knew it was okay to go down. They both turned towards her and smiled. "Morning Liz. You sleep well?" asked Sonny.
"As well as I usually do. Jason thank you for letting me stay here again. I know I am becoming a pain."
Just then Carly walked in with Michael. "Liz you know your not being a pain. You're welcome here anytime. You on the other hand…" she said turning towards Sonny. He just flashed a grin at her. They got a long now although they still got into occasional fights.
"I know I am always welcome. Aren't I Michael?"
Leticia came in then and said, "Would you like to feed Michael or do you want me too?"
"You can do it Leticia." Said Jason. He hadn't taken his eyes off Liz. He could tell she had something to say. "Are you okay?" he asked when they left the room.
"I'm leaving town." She said.
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