Reclaiming Forever - Chapter 4

"What is it Elizabeth?

After our night in New York I made a decision. Remember we decided to wait to make love?

Elizabeth, I haven't forgotten a second I spent with you.

Me either. The more I thought about what had happened that night the more I realized that waiting was right. But…….

Elizabeth pauses unsure how to continue and Lucky is almost in shock that after their separation Elizabeth can still talk about their physical relationship so confidently. He knows it is because through everything they've always been able to talk. Elizabeth looks up at Lucky and smiles shyly and continues…

After I thought I lost you, I hated giving up our dreams, including my dream of you being my REAL first time. Bobbie helped me to not focus on regret but it was hard.

Elizabeth, I didn't want to give up on our dream either. Remember I told you I wanted our first time to be sacred, I still do. Sweetie, what are you trying to tell me?

I’m ready but I want to be sure it's perfect for both of us. I’ve thought about this a lot, I guess, part of me knew we would have our forever. That night in New York I knew that I was ready but I was still nervous. I also knew that with experience we would both worry less. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I was going to ask you if we could take things slow. I'm saying this all wrong.

No Elizabeth I think I know what you mean. When you were massaging my back, in a way you were getting comfortable feeling my skin next to yours.

Exactly. I love you and I know that you worry about how I'll react to being close. In a way I do too. When you touch me I always feel safe and loved but I'm not sure how I'll react as we get closer physically. I know that I trust you and I want to be close to you but I can’t be sure I can handle it until it happens. I don’t want to freak out on you, because I know you’d never hurt me, and I don’t want to hurt you by doing that. I just want to enjoy being close and not worry about what ifs and if we…

If we both know that we have forever and that we can cherish our physical relationship and take it slowly then you won't worry.

Elizabeth pulls away and looks right into Lucky's eyes because she wants him to see how confident she is, especially about what else she wants to tell him.

Lucky, I want you to know something else. I love that you let me explore but this has to go both ways. I need you to touch me too. (She blushes but doesn't break eye contact). I know you want to but you hold back because you don't want to scare me. I can tell you now that your touch could never scare me if anything my reaction to it might scare me.

You're right to think I worry but I was letting go of those fears just like you were. I agree with you, especially after being separated, we need to take it slow and just enjoy being together.

I love that we can talk about this. I've missed talking to you. I missed knowing I could run to you and ramble on about everything, even the silliest thing, and you'd listen and love me.

I missed that too. During my stay in the Steele trap I heard your voice twice and it was like music to me. I love the fact that we trust each other enough to talk about our feelings. I've never had that before, I always tried to protect people from my feelings, especially if I was hurting. I'd mask my pain by acting angry or simply shutting down. I don't want to keep my feelings from you; I couldn't anyway because you always know when I need to talk.

Lucky, you have no idea how much that means to me. I love you and I want you to trust me with your feelings, the way I trust you with mine. Right now I'm feeling hungry, do you think you can trust me to find us something to eat?

I'll help you; together I'm sure we can find something.

They kiss before getting out of bed to start their week of solitude. They fix breakfast and decide to take a walk in the woods.