This here show starts out in a field o' purty flires (that's F-L-O-W-E-R-S fer y'all yankees) and Xener and Lil' Gab are doin' yogurt again. (Now 'member Xener don't like doin' this silly stuff, but she's a'doin' it anyways cuz Gab told her she HAD to and she's so dadgummed hen-pecked!)

Lil' Gab gets all flustrated cuz she ain't got no skroll and she's got the urge to go to the outhouse and she's got nuthin' to ... well, you know, ... (they didn't have no toilet paper or Sears Robuck catalog back then.)

So Gab sets off on a misshun to find her preshious scroll. She's not sure how long she can hold it, but she's sure gonna try!

Furst thang that happens when she gets ta town iz ol' Joxter falls down dog-drunk rite in front o' her. He shore is impressed with her short hair-do and her new clothes and them tatoos! He wants to know where she got 'em and did them tattoos hurt? Gab sez she made the clothes from some ol' curtains jest like that Scarlett O'Hara gal, and she got them tattoos from Dirty Dan's Tattoo
Emporium. And yeah, she sez it did hurt a lil' bit, but after a couple a' swigs of Takeela... well, it felt jeeeest fine. *TG*

Then some big-mouth painted-up hussy comes up to Gab and sez she's done found the skroll in the outhouse where Gab left it while she was doin' her bizness. The gal, whose name is Bra-ZEERA, is plum tickled over that there skroll ... fact iz she sez it's better than Charmin and she's a wantin' to produce a play of it on stage!

Lil' Gab sez she don't know cuz she hates to keep ol' Xener waitin' ... cuz Xener mite be needin' to use the skroll too ... but then she decides "to-heck-with-Xener! I'm gonna be a star!!!"

(Whut poor lil' Gabby don't reelize is that this Bra-ZEERA gal is a' pullin' the wool over her eyeballs, and she's fixin' to make a killin' cuz Lil' Gab's such a dadgum sucker!)

Bra-ZEERA takes Lil' Gab and Joxter to a theater that's a real fixer-upper and whut looks bad as my livin' room after BillyJeff and the boys watch the wrestlin' on Saturdey nite. Fact is, this theater don't look quite that bad, cuz I didn't see no empty beer cans and Frito's bags layin' 'round.

Anyways, ol' Joxter's actin' like he's got worms, so they let him be lil' Gab's assistant and they decide to spruce the place up.

Then Lil' Gab, whose done got the "big-head" over bein' the writer and director o' the play, goes to lookin' fer actors. She finds a tall, black-headed gal to play Xener, but can't find the rite Gabrielle so she decides to play her ownself.

A chubby loud-mouth gal jumps on stage wearin' a mask and Gab knows rite away that it's Minyer, that Xener-wannabee that kept a'pourin' that hot water on the gals while they wuz a' hot-tubbin'.

Gab tells Minyer that she's done found sumboddy a mite purtier than her to play Xener, but she sez she can be a mean feller in the play and Minyer is rite happy with that cuz she loves to kick butt.

A half-man, half-horse walks up on the stage, actin' all snooty and callin' hisself a "Sin-Tar." Gab wants him in her play reeel bad, cuz she knows folks'll come to see a freak like that and it'll make the front page of the National Enquirer and maybe even the Jerry Springer show, and her play will be farkin' famous!

But while Lil' Gab is havin' deloooshions o' grandure, ol' BraZEERA and that wimpy feller that follers her around are collectin' munny from some nasty ol' warlords. Them warlords are investin' in the play, and BrZEERA and her monkey are gonna take the munny and run onced Gab's sorry lil' play bites the dust.

The play practice don't go so well, cuz them actors don't like the play none. They say it's boooorin'... so Joxter suggests they add a lil' flesh and blood to the show ... you know, kinda like addin' the gals from Hee-Haw and the butt kickin' frum Walker, Texas Ranger. Yeeeeee-Haaaaaw!

Well, Lil' Gab don't like this idear not one lil' bit, so she stomps off madder n' a wet hen and goes and eats some yogurt.

After she thanks about it awhile, Lil' Gab feels bad fer actin' like a jerk, so she tells Joxter and the others that she's mitey sorry and they go on with the play. But when she sees the changes Joxter has made ... like dressin' Xener in a bikini and comin' out with a head on a stick, she blows her stack again and sez an artist writes fer her own farkin' self, and by dadgum that famous Sofacleese feller would understand. (But when she goes to see him, she finds out he's the worst pig of all!)

Well, she goes back to the theater, and now the wishy-washy lil' thang sez she wants MORE sex and violence. Fergit that sissy stuff; she wants late-nite ShowTime and tuff Arnold
Scw...Scw...shwar... tough-guy type stuff!

Them nasty warlords is sneakin' around, checkin' on their investmunt, and they like what they sees. BraZeera tells Lil' Gab how much them warlords like it, and that plum chaps Gab's butt cuz she don't wanna be no inspiration fer no farkin' war! So Lil' Miss. Wishy-Washy goes back to the furst plan: Peece 'n Luv.

So the play gets to goin'... and rite when it starts, some big fat warlord walks onto the stage and grabs Gab! Then Xener comes outta nowhere and starts kickin' his sorry, fat butt.

Them critics sittin' in the audience sez that woman playin' Xener don't play a good Xener at all! (My Gawd... them fellers wouldn't know their @**e$ from a hole in the ground!)

After Xena's through kickin' tail and the play's over, the gals head fer greener pastures. But 'fore they leave, ol' Minyer comes up grinnin' like a possum and braggin' 'bout how she realizes she's a "thespian."

(I didn't know what a "thespian" wuz, so I looked it up, and it said, "an actor."

Well, so what? Why the Sam Hill doez everboddy thank this scene wuz soooo funny? We already knew she was a actress! Kin sumboddy tell me why that wuz so funny? DANG!

Xener and Gabs thank they're thru in that town, but they don't realize they done left poor ol' Joxter a' hangin' upside down like a gutted deer inside the dark theater, a' hollerin' fer his Mama! *LOL*
(Poor ol' Joxter.)