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"Hello," said the Doctor to the hulking creature in battle armour.

Tegan glanced behind her at the ruined buildings and the entrances to the bunkers where the Grebe were sheltering, then looked back at the creatures who had devastated the city.

The Jibrell leader stood there, hands on hips. A brightly- coloured plume jutted incongruously from the back of its helmet.

"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor continued. "and these are Tegan and Turlough." He smiled in a non-threatening way and offered his hand.

That was when the Jibrell raised its gun and shot him.

In the next few moments, Tegan was mainly concerned with shouting "Doctor!" at the top of her lungs, and being dragged away by Turlough. They sprinted away, Tegan wondering once again, why she had put high-heels on that morning when she just _knew_ she'd spend half the day running. Eventually they ducked into the shelter of a partially demolished building and crouched there while the pursuing troopers stomped past.

Tegan whacked Turlough on the shoulder. "What did you do that for? We should have stayed to help the Doctor."

"And get captured too? Fat lot of help that would be."

"He could be dead."

Turlough adjusted his school tie. "Don't you know a stun beam when you hear one? He's perfectly all right. They'll probably just torture him."

"Torture!"

"Don't worry. There should be plenty of time for us to rescue him."

"I wish I had your confidence." Tegan glanced out through the hole in the brick wall. "Come on."

A short, porcine creature suddenly stepped in front of her and aimed a gun at her head.

"Oh no," said Turlough miserably. "Space pirates."

***

The Doctor clutched at a wall. The world was suddenly spinning around him.

He had hoped the Jibrell would be amenable to talking out their differences with the Grebe. They weren't, by nature, a violent species; Indeed, Jibrell delegates were highly respected in this part of the universe.

He staggered again. Ever since his escape he'd been experiencing strange dizzy spells. "Pull yourself together, Doctor." He forced himself to straighten up. "This way, I think."

Suddenly the world went an odd shade of aquamarine and he had a sensation of falling sideways. He opened his eyes to find himself lying on the ground, exactly where he was before, except...

"Green," he said. The sky had been green before. It was still green, only now it was blue-green instead of yellow-green. He clambered to his feet and stumbled on.

***

Tegan was hung by her wrists, forcing her to stand on tip-toe to avoid placing too much strain on her arms. She was attached by a chain to a brick wall which jutted out of the top of a pile of rubble.

The pirates had apparently been trailing the Jibrell fleet in the hope of picking up slave stock. There were only two of them, so they had decided to chain Tegan to the wall while they carried Turlough back to their ship.

Way to go, she thought, chain me up right out in the open. With my luck there's probably a Jibrell patrol due any moment now. She turned her head at the first hint of movement.

A man in a cream jacket was making his way along the rubble strewn street. He paused and looked behind him as though expecting to be followed.

"Doctor!" Tegan shouted. Yeah, right, like he'd miss me in _this_ blouse, she thought, looking ruefully down at the red, white and black pattern.

The Doctor stopped at the bottom of the pile. "Tegan!" and then: "Do you know I can see your panties from here?"

"What? Look, just get me down."

He scrambled up the rubble and looked at her. "I don't know; you look rather appealing like that." He grinned.

"Very funny."

He was looking up at the chain.

"Mutant pigmy space pirates," she said, smiling faintly.

"How'd they fasten the chain up there?"

"They flew."

"With suspensor belts." He nodded thoughtfully, looking at her. She returned his gaze for a moment which seemed to drag on.

"What?" she asked finally.

"Nothing." He reached up with one hand, fiddling with the hand restraints. His face suddenly zoomed into close-up, and before she knew it, he was kissing her. Her eyes widened as she felt his other hand touch her thigh, sliding up under her skirt.

As soon as her hands were free, she stumbled down the pile of debris and sat down abruptly. "I think my legs have gone to sleep," she said numbly as he clambered down. He smiled dazzlingly at her and began massaging at her calves. "I don't really think we should be out in the open like this."

The Doctor drew closer, beginning to stroke at her thighs. Tegan almost fell backwards, staring at him open mouthed.

"Well?" he asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"We're sitting in the open, in a bombed-out city with aliens about to swarm all over it, and you want to fondle me?"

"Can you think of a better way to pass the time?"

Tegan stared at him. "I knew this would happen. You've finally flipped, haven't you? We're in the middle of a war zone, Doc, Turlough is..."

"Tegan, Tegan, Tegan," The Doctor sat back with a sigh. "I offer to make love to you, and all you can think about is Turlough? Where are you going?"

Tegan had gotten up and was heading for the nearest cover. "I'm not staying out in the open. If you're coming, come."

***

One universe over, the Doctor was being hunted. He slipped behind a crumbling wall and held his breath. The sound of marching feet got louder and louder, until the squad of Jibrell went past, long-barrelled blasters held at their shoulders. He waited until the noise receded into the distance, and then stepped out into the open.

"Doctor!" called a familiar voice.

"Tegan! Where's Turlough?"

The woman came closer. "In the TARDIS."

"Good. There's no time to explain. Get back to the TARDIS and lock the door."

"But, Doctor -"

"No arguing, go!"

Tegan folded her arms and came closer.

"Tegan, please." He went to grip her by the arms.

She twisted, pushing him over. He doubled up over her knee, making a little surprised noise. She delivered a blow to his backside with the palm of her hand..

"Tegan!" The Doctor scrabbled ridiculously at the ground, trying to regain his balance.

"Quantas Flight Instruction number 24," she quoted. "If a passenger becomes stroppy, they're to be given a good spanking."

"You can't be ser - Tegan!"

"You're just lucky I didn't make you strip off first." She continued to deliver smacks while he struggled to return to an upright position.

***

Tegan sighed and watched as the Doctor struggled out of his pullover.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess... I guess I expected something different."

"Like what?" The Doctor started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Something more romantic. A candlelit dinner, maybe."

"I'll get Turlough to give you one when we get back to the TARDIS." He dropped the shirt. "I'm joking," he added with a smile.

"I just didn't expect that you'd proposition me in the middle of a war zone." She looked up to see he'd knelt down beside her in only his trousers. She placed a hand on his chest and felt one of his hearts beating.

The Doctor pursed his lips. "You don't have to say yes."

"Don't be silly," said Tegan. "Turlough can look after himself." She draped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

***

One universe over, the Doctor was still being hunted.

"Doctor," Tegan called.

He stepped out behind her, hands held palms forwards. "I don't know what's gotten into to you," he said with only a hint of desperation in his voice. "But a whole planet is at stake. Now please, you've got to go back to the TARDIS immediately."

She stepped forwards, hefting something in her hand. An electric cattle prod, he realised, with a Quantas insignia on the side. Now where did she get that?

"Are you listening, Tegan?" He hastily backed away. The end of the prod wavered in front of his face.

"You're not playing right," she said sulkily, lowering the aim of the prod and lunging.

***

Tegan sat back on the Doctor's coat, the rest of their clothing lying strewn on the floor. He was embracing her gently, their noses almost touching as they stared deeply into each other's eyes. "This is weird," she said. "I mean, I've thought about it, but you were never interested."

"I was always interested." He leaned forwards and began running his fingers lightly down her spine. She arched her body against him, feeling her nipples slide over cool skin.

His fingers trickled downwards, pausing at her tailbone and then moving to stroke her thighs. She pressed herself against him harder, cradled in his lap, legs wrapped around him, hands clenching against his back. He pushed her back against the coat. He began massaging one erect nipple with his tongue, flicking it with broad strokes and pushing it down. One hand was working away at her other breast, gently squeezing it and rubbing the nipple. The other hand was creeping steadily down her stomach, tracing the outline of her navel with a digit.

She thrust her pelvis up at him as his fingers brushed against her clitoris. He fell back and buried his face in the pubic hair, his tongue searching, nose rubbing against her. His tongue squirmed into her vagina, lapping at the walls and tasting the wetness. She quivered, thrust against him as he lapped at her, hands stroking along her hips and thighs.

Finally he pushed her back down, stroking his erect penis across her backside as she lowered. She grasped his shoulders, pulling him back against her, feeling his smooth chest sliding against her. He slid into her, listening to her moan as they moved together. Their mouths touched, lips pressed against each other. He pushed gently at first, gradually quickening strokes which drove her onwards. She clutched at him as her orgasm told hold, and they cried out together.

The silence that followed was filled by their panting as they raced to regain their breath.

The Doctor sat back with a sigh and smiled down at her. She smiled back, stroking a hand across his cheek.

"I think -" he said, then turned a funny shade of mauve and disappeared. So did all of his clothes. Then he reappeared, fully clothed, standing on the other side of the room. His eyes caught Tegan's and filled with a fear that she had never seen before, even when he had faced the Cybermen.

"Doctor?" she sat up. "What's going on?"

He appeared to collect himself, patting his coat as if to make sure he was still there. "I think I've just been in an alternate universe."

Tegan suddenly experienced a sinking feeling. It was worse, she decided, than the sinking feeling she got when people pointed guns at her. It was the knowledge that she'd just done something extremely personal with a complete stranger.

"Oh, rabbits."

"Tegan, you're lying on my coat," the Doctor said.

"Oh." She got up, picked up the coat and handed it to him. He compared it with the coat he was already wearing.

"Amazing. You must have held it in this universe just by lying on it."

"Just as well I wasn't lying on him," she muttered miserably.

"What was that?"

"Look, Doctor, would you mind, uh, turning around while I..."

The Doctor looked confused for a moment, then blinked. "Ah," he said, turning his back on her and starting to rummage in the pockets of the coat. Tegan began struggling back into her clothing. "There's something odd in this pocket," he said, eventually. His hand withdrew with a red sphere, about twice the size of a cricket ball. "A Kerillo ball!" He grinned triumphantly and tossed the ball in the air.

"You can turn around now," she told him, putting her high heels back on before adding: "A what?"

"The Jibrell use it for playing Kerillo. It's sort of like football, but it's played in space."

"But where did _he_ get it from?"

"There was one in the Grebe council chambers, wasn't there." "The one they said was a religious artifact and wouldn't let Turlough touch?"

The Doctor nodded. "My other self must have picked it up in the other universe."

"Aha!" said a voice behind them.

Tegan and the Doctor looked up to see the Jibrell leader standing in the doorway, aiming his gun at them. Tegan experienced the _other_ sinking feeling; the one that said, "Do something fast or he's going to shoot you!"

The Doctor put on his best smile. "I'm sure we can talk this over."

The Jibrell wasn't listening. It marched directly across to him and took the red ball. Then it removed its helmet, revealing a cherubic face. "Thanks," said the Jibrell. "We'll be off home now; we just wanted our ball back."

End