chapter 14

All about the Benjamins


Recently i saw a commercial for a car that supposedly never breaks down or has
any kind of trouble, which is obviously a lie. However this chapter is about
something much deeper. Within that commercial the question 'if you were
bald, what would they put for hair color on your drivers lisence?' is raised.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the most retardedly idiotic question
that has ever been addressed by a human being in my lifetime. In about 2
seconds of thought (and thats if your a little slow), the answer is pretty
clear. The answer is so glaring and obvious and staring you right
in the face that to not be able to figure it out you would've had to
been cursed with some horrible birth defect which renders your brain
completely useless. In other words if you can't figure it out then you are
a complete waste of flesh and you need to be killed before you use any more of
my air. If this is you, please refer to chapter 2. For the rest of
us, we have already figured out the answer. As soon as the question was asked our
brains went through a list of possible answers and ultimately, within
about a billionth of a second if your brain works at all and you're not
completely and utterly retarded, you understood the answer without a doubt
and would be willing to try to explain it to any moron that couldn't
figure it out. That was an incredibly long sentence. Herein lies the
problem. Morons cant understand long sentences. And to break these
ingenius thought processes down into small pieces would be blaspheme.
However if at any point the moron beings to understand, an even bigger
problem emerges. Now the moron thinks it understands the answer and being
the stupid inconsiderate prick that every moron is, they will take credit
for the answer and soon every moron will think that THEY can figure out
and understand the problems of the average person. which is wrong. i hate
these stupid bastards DAAMMIIIITTT!!!!!!!!!

chapter 15
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