Jokes
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said,"Here put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," She said. "That's right," said the husband,"and don't you ever forget it. I am the man and I wear the pants in this family." With that she flipped him her panties and said,"Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them as far up as his knee caps. "Heck!" he said,"I can't get into your panties!" She replied,"That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until your additude changes!
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said,"You know, if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she glared at him and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his wife up with a pinch on the breast and said,"You know, if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabed his privites. With a grip of death in place she said,"You know, if we firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, gardener, the bartender and your brother."