Beloved 

Giles pushed open the front door to his apartment and
carried his dusty weapons bag inside.

"I'm telling you," Xander said over his shoulder as he
followed the Watcher inside. "It was positively,
absolutely... graaaaaand!"

"Would you stop saying that?" Buffy said with a sigh.

"What?"

"Graaaaaand," Willow said as she brought up the rear,
carrying her fair share of weapons. "You've been doing
it for two days."

"All right. Fine," he said testily, as he dropped a
big ax on the floor. "But it was... graaaaaand!"

"Xander!"

Giles shook his head and sighed for the hundredth time
as he took the bag from Willow's hands. She smiled her
thanks and flexed her fingers. Giles smiled shyly and
put the bag in the living room.

"You're just mad cause you lost your purse.
Purse-loser!" Xander accused with a pointy finger.

Willow frowned, and Buffy jumped in to her defense.
"She didn't lose it. She just... put it somewhere...
other than.. where she usually... puts it."

Xander shook his head with mock pity. "Wills, you're
losin' it. Missing purses, invisible fields of wild
flowers..."

"It's not invisible.. it's there. I saw it the morning
we left, and you can be Mister See-No-Flowers if you
want."

"Uh-huh."

"Xander," Giles said from across the room. "If Willow
says she saw flowers, then she saw flowers."

Willow beamed.

"Even if there weren't any," Giles added with a wink.

"Hey!"

"See!"

"Y-you're just being poopy cause Anya's having so much
fun in San Francisco .. without you," Willow tossed
back.

"Pa... and I'll add a shaw for good measure... As much
as I love Ahn, and I do and am not ashamed to say so
even in mixed company.."

"Mixed company?" Buffy asked.

"G-man's a man."

"Oh.. thank you," Giles said dryly from the kitchen.

Willow giggled.

"And... as much as I love Anya... going to a week long
seminar about the boring life that is the small
business owner..."

"I thank you again," Giles muttered, but he smiled
when he caught Willow's eye. He enjoyed playing the
part of the stuffy one on occasion. And if it made Willow
smile, that only added to the enjoyment.

"... is not my idea of fun."

Buffy nodded sagely. "Sure, why go to a metropolitan
city filled with culture and nice restaurants when you
can be having so much more fun wrestling with a pack
of stinky P'Tak demons at the bottom of big pit."

"It wasn't a pit.. it was a canyon," Xander said as a
big mischievous smile spread across his face. "And not
just any canyon, but the Graaaa-"

Mercifully, the rest of his sentence was lost under
the impact of a well aimed sofa cushion.

Giles sighed, but couldn't hide his smile. They'd been
like this for the last two hundred miles. Which was
actually a pleasure. They'd all fought hard to destroy
the nest of demons Giles had been warned about and
deserved a little fun, even at the cost of his sanity.

They'd spent four long days away, traveling to and
from the Grand Canyon. It had been a difficult trip,
but they'd all done what needed to be done without
complaint. Well, with no more complaint than usual.
And as always, spending time with Willow, even under
these circumstances, was a pleasure.

"Did we get all the weapons from the car?" Giles
asked, as he picked up a stack of unread newspapers
from his front stoop and closed the door.

"Yup. Got 'em all... except for that one crossbow,"
Buffy said.

Giles sighed heavily and put the papers down on the
table. "I did so love that crossbow," he said with a
dramatic flair.

"I already said I was sorry," Willow said softly. "And
technically, Xander dropped it in the river."

"Hey.. I take umbrage.. I can do that right?" he added
with a frown. "Your be-buoyant spell sort of lacked
the whole... buoy aspect."

"One little spell goes.. well, doesn't go, and I'm an
outcast," Willow pouted.

Giles laughed and then took her gently by the
shoulders. "It's all right," he said seriously. "It's
just a thing. Things can be replaced... Right?" He
knew she was joking, but he also knew Willow held onto
her guilt, even over things that weren't her fault.

He was rewarded with a lovely smile, although
fleeting. He smiled in return and then cleared his
throat a little self consciously and moved back into
the kitchen.

"Hey, no witch is perfect, Wills," Buffy offered.
"Except Glinda the good witch.. she was perfect.. and
she shimmered."

"Don't worry about," Xander said. "In my book, you
more than made up for it with your Gabby Hayes
impression." He sucked in his lips, and gave a
toothless grin. "Heh, heh.. gold!

Buffy and Willow giggled, and Giles tried not to
laugh, but it was no use. If Xander doing it wasn't
funny enough, just remembering how utterly charming
Willow had been pushed him over the edge.

"Would anyone like a drink?" Giles said once he was
back in control.

"Juice," Buffy said as she flopped into a chair.

"Milk me," Xander said and then realized just how that
sounded. "I.. I mean... I'd like some milk.. from a
cow.. cow's milk. Please?"

Giles rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Willow?"

"Oh, uhm.. just glass of water, thank you."

Giles smiled and nodded. He pulled out the cartons and
glasses. Once the glasses were poured he raised his in
a toast. "To a job well done."

"Heck yeah.. we came.. we saw.. we kicked some booty,"
Buffy said as she clinked glasses.

Xander chugged down his milk and let out a satisfied
sigh. "And now, we sleep," he said as he set down his
glass and started for the door.

"And now, we clean our weapons so they don't rust,"
Giles said before he made it out.

"If I had a dime for every time I've heard that,"
Xander quipped.

"Why not start with the swords?" Giles said with a
firm look.

"All right," Xander said with a sigh. "A Xander's work
is never done." He and Buffy started to gather
the weapons bags as Willow leaned against the kitchen
counter and set down her glass.

"It's good to be home, isn't it?" Willow said softly.

"That it is," Giles said with a warm smile. They
shared a brief peaceful moment, looking at each other
without pretense. But Willow's insecurity soon took
over, and she had to look away. Desperate to cover her
nervousness, she looked quickly for a way to shift the
focus.

"Y-you've got a message," she said, pointing at his
answering machine.

"Hmmm?" Giles said still finding himself staring at
her. "Oh, right." He smiled bashfully and pushed the
play button.

"..'Ello, Ripper.. Bad penny, eh?"

"Ethan," Giles growled as he gripped the edge of the
counter. The others stopped what they were doing and
gathered around nervously to listen to the message.

"... I read about your friend in the paper.. and I
know what you're thinking... and no, I'm not a
complete bastard, all evidence to the contrary
aside... well.. we've had enough of death, haven't we?
Just wanted to say sorry, mate. I'll be around."

The beep sounded the end of the message, and a tense
brief silence followed.

"What was that all about?" Xander asked.

Giles' jaw set, and he stared down at the machine as
though he could will it to explain.

"I don't have a good feeling about this," Buffy said
tightly. "What's he talking about, Giles?"

Giles shook his head and frowned deeply. "You know as
much as I do... but where Ethan's involved..." He let
the rest of the sentence hang in the air.

Willow walked over to the table. "He said something
about reading it in the paper. Maybe it's in here,"
she said, as she picked up one of the unread
newspapers.

Giles nodded thoughtfully, wracking his brain for
possible explanations.

"But we don't even know what paper," Xander said. "Ethan
could have been anywhere."

Giles nodded again but crossed to the table and took a
paper. "We'll start with these and move on from there."

"Maybe it's just a sick joke," Buffy offered.

"Perhaps," Giles said, but he didn't believe it and
neither did they.

Each of them grabbed one of the papers and started
skimming.

"What are we looking for?" Xander asked.

"I have a feeling we'll know it when we see it," Giles
said.

"How'd I know you were gonna say that?"

They methodically worked their way through the
sections.

"Oh no!" Buffy suddenly cried out.

"What? What is it?" Giles asked quickly.

"We missed the super sale at Robinsons-May."

"Buffy!"

"Well... it was a *super* sale."

"Oh god," Xander muttered.

"See even Xander's upset," Buffy said.

"I don't think that's it," Willow said, as she looked
at her friend. He was pale and even shaking a little.
"Xander? What is it?"

He let out a quick nervous laugh and then swallowed
hard and looked at Willow.

"Xander?" Willow asked again, getting more and more
nervous as the seconds passed.

"It's gotta be a joke," he said. "But it isn't funny."

Buffy couldn't stand it anymore and grabbed the paper
from him. "Where is it?"

"The.. the obituaries.. second column."

Buffy squinted and then read the piece. "Beloved
daughter and friend, Willow Dana Rosenberg was taken
from us too soon the morning of June 2nd."

"What?" Willow said. "I...I.. what?"

"It says you're dead."


Part Two

"Why would they print this?" Xander said.

"Cause, I'm not... I mean.. I'm right here," Willow
said as she spread her arms to prove her point. "See?
This is me being really, really not dead."

"Just the way we like ya," Xander said as he set down
the paper and gave her a big hug.

"Really, really like ya," Buffy chimed in as she went
to Willow's side and joined in on the hug. "Love
even."

Giles picked up the paper and read over the obituary,
his frown deepening with every line.

"Thanks," Willow said. "I love you guys, too."

Buffy noticed that Giles had been conspicuously
silent, not that he would be all huggy and lovey, but
something.... "Giles?"

"Hmm?"

"You all right?"

"No," he said softly and then saw the worry cloud her
eyes. "Yes, I'm fine. Just taken aback."

"Way aback," Buffy agreed. "Waaaay."

"Yes," he said glaring down at the offending
sentences. Just seeing the words in black and white
sent a shiver down his spine. He forced himself to
look away and smiled as he saw Willow looking at him
with concern. His smile turned rueful, and he set the
paper down.

Willow could tell he was worried and when Giles
was worried, there was something to worry about.
She frowned and sat down at the table. The brief warmth
she'd felt just moments ago dissipated, and a cold crept up
her spine. She shivered and clasped her hands tightly in
front of her.

"Who would do this?" Willow asked.

Giles grunted in anger and started to pace.

"That's never good," Xander said. "What is it? Was it
Ethan? That son of a bitch. I'm telling you if I see
him, I'm gonna-"

"Do nothing!" Giles said with surprising ferocity.

Xander wasn't put off. He had anger of his own.
"Nobody messes with my Wills."

"I agree," Giles said with forced calm. "But Ethan
is... my responsibility."

"Hello.. Slayer here!" Buffy said raising her hand.
"Stopping the baddies pretty much my job description."

"Why would he do this?" Willow asked. "I don't even
really know him. Why would he want to hurt me?"

Giles glanced over at her. She looked so vulnerable,
so wounded. He felt his anger begin to rise again.

Letting out a long breath, he resumed pacing. "I
suppose he might find some sick sort of humor in it."

"He didn't sound like he was exactly laughing his head
off," Buffy observed. "He sounded sort of... sorry. Is that
even possible?"

"This is Ethan, remember?" Xander said distastefully. "Willing
to have innocent people die for his amusement. I think this
sounds right up his alley.. his dark, smelly alley."

"Yeah, he would do something like this," Buffy agreed. "Bastard."

"But why Willow?" Xander asked. "I don't get it."

"Because, he..." Giles started and then stopped himself.
Giles glanced at the young man. He'd nearly blurted out
the truth, but thought better of it. There was enough to
deal with right now without complicating matters by admitting
his deeper feelings for Willow.

Part of him wanted to yell it from the rooftops, to
whisper it in her ear. Anything to finally let it out.

He looked at Willow and wanted nothing more than to
take her in his arms and... and what? Profess his
love? Watch her run away in terror? Smile sadly and
let him down gently?

"He enjoys chaos. Chaos by definition needs no reason,"
Giles said finally.

"Yeah... Maybe it's not even him," Buffy offered.

"It's possible it's a simple clerical error at the paper," Giles
said without much confidence.

"Yeah," Xander said happy to have a non-icky
explanation.

"Or it could be an evil plot by one of our enemies,"
Buffy said.

"Wow... And people say you're no fun at parties,"
Xander said with a sarcastic grin.

"I'm sorry.. I don't want to be doom and gloom girl,
but.. well.. if the doom and gloom fits..."

Willow had finally summoned the courage to look at the
paper. She bit her lower lip to keep it from
trembling. She knew it wasn't true, but there's
something about seeing things in print that makes them
real.

"Willow?" Giles asked in concern.

"What if my parents saw this?" she asked suddenly.
"Can I use your phone?"

"Of course."

Willow dialed her parents' number but there was no
answer. Her frown deepened as she hung up, but didn't
let go of the handset. "I think I should go over
there... I mean, just in case they read it and... you
know... think I'm dead."

"Certainly," Giles said as he grabbed his car keys.

He noticed how her hand still gripped the phone, her
knuckles white from the strain. He smiled soothingly
and covered her hand with his for a brief second in
comfort.

Willow looked at him in embarrassment and relaxed her
hand. She knew she was sort of freaking out, but her
heebies were getting jeebies. She smiled up at Giles to
let him know she hadn't totally lost it.

Giles gave her hand a quick squeeze and nodded in
reassurance.

"I.. I think I'll just go with you guys," Xander said.

"Me too... just to... I could be a witness to your
aliveness," Buffy offered.

Giles smiled. One of the things he cherished about all
of them was their loyalty. And while Willow clearly
was still among the living, someone was playing a
cruel joke, and it was best to stay together and keep
a close eye on her.

*****

They pulled up the curb, and Willow climbed out of the
passenger seat. "What's going on?" she asked as she
saw a "For Sale" staked into the front lawn.

"Were your parents planning on moving?" Giles asked as
he came to her side.

"No," she said quietly.

They walked to the front door, and Willow tried her
key. But it didn't seem to fit. "That's weird. This is the
key... but it's not working. Why isn't it working? It
should be working-"

Xander touched her arm. "Here. Let the master try."
He took her keys. "It's all in the wrist." He tried to wiggle the
key into the lock, but it was no use.

"They've changed the locks," Giles observed, pointing
to the new brass.

Willow looked at him with hurt and confusion. "Why
would they do that?"

Giles smiled back and put a soothing hand on her
shoulder. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation," he
assured her.

Willow nodded, but she couldn't shake the fear that
something was very, very wrong.

"Hey guys," Buffy called from the bushes to the side
of the front door.

"Find something?" Xander asked as they joined her.

"Nothing.. that's just it," she said as she gestured
to the large bay window.

The house was empty. Not a stick of furniture
remained.

"Wow," Xander said and felt Willow begin to tremble a
little. He put his arm over her shoulder. "I'm sure there's
some easy explanation , Wills. Don't worry. We'll figure it
out."

Willow nodded again, but never took her eyes off the
empty interior of what was once her home.

"Okay, Giles, this is getting freaky," Buffy said.

"Yes," Giles said and started back to his car.

"Where are you going?" she asked and started to follow
him.

"Getting the car phone. I'm going to call the realtor
and see if they can't shed any light on this."

"And the G-Man with the ideas.. That's why he gets the
big bucks." Xander started to walk back to the car,
and moved to steer Willow with him, but she stood her ground
still staring inside.

He stood behind her, letting her have a few moments of
privacy, but somehow letting her know she wasn't alone.

It was unnerving, to say the least. He'd spent more
time in that house than his own home. And now, it was
like all of it never existed. All the things that brought
back the memories were gone. Except Willow. He smiled
and put his hand on her shoulder for his own comfort
as much as hers.

Eventually, he broke the silence. "Come on, Wills.
Everything's gonna be okay."

She nodded, but didn't look away. Xander took her by
the shoulders and turned her to face him. "I promise."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," she said with a small
smile.

"When have I ever let you down?" He paused
dramatically, "Don't answer that."

Xander helped her out of the flowerbed. Giles was just
finishing on the phone when they reached the car.
Buffy was leaning against the door impatiently waiting
for him to finish.

"Yes," he said with a dark frown on his face. "Yes,
thank you." He hung up and took a deep breath.

"Well?" Buffy prompted.

Giles took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of
his nose.

"That bad?" Buffy asked anxiously.

He pushed out a quick breath and put his glasses back
on. "It seems that.. uhm.. your parents, Willow.. have
put the house up for sale.. and well, apparently left
the country."

"What?"

"The realtor said that they... " he frowned and looked
at Willow quickly before reaching for his glasses
again.

"Okay, that's enough," Buffy said as she grabbed them
from his hands. "You get these back when you tell us
what's going on."

Giles glared at her for a moment before relenting. He
swallowed and cleared his throat. "The realtor said
that they left Sunnydale so abruptly... because they
were... grieving for their daughter."

Willow gasped. "Oh God..." She started to gnaw on her
lower lip and shake her hands nervously. "Oh no! Poor
mom and dad."

Xander put his arm around her shoulders. "It’ll be
okay. Just think how happy they'll be when they find
out it's all a mistake."

Buffy was intent on Giles. There was more to this. He
still wasn't able to look at Willow. "And..." Buffy
asked.

Giles glared at her and snatched back his glasses.

Buffy was about to push him again, he was clearly
keeping something from them. But the dark intensity in
his eyes told her leave it be. For now.

Giles cleared his throat again. "There's nothing to be
done here. I suggest we go back to my apartment, and
we can set about tracking down your parents."

Buffy frowned. Again with the not looking at Willow.

"I can just see their faces when they find out it
isn't you," Xander said.

Willow tried to smile, but it faded quickly. "It isn't me,"
she repeated softly.

"That's the good part," Xander said.

"Yeah, but if it isn't me... then it's somebody else,
right?"

"Yeah..."

"They had a funeral and everything..." Willow said her
face going pale again. "It.. it said so in the paper."

"We should be getting back," Giles said, as he opened
the passenger door. "The sooner we start looking the
sooner we can tell your parents the good news."

Willow ignored him; she couldn't shake her train of
thought. "If there was a funeral, then there's a ... a
grave... and ... and somebody's.. somebody's in it."


"Possibly. I-it's.. it's quite tragic," Giles said holding out his
hand to usher them into the car. "And I assure you, we'll find
out just exactly what happened, but for now.. I think
it's best if we all go back to my flat."

Buffy watched Giles curiously. He certainly was
hellbent on getting them back to his apartment.

"I want to see it," Willow said thoughtfully.

Giles shook his head. "I don't think now's the time.
You're tired, it's been a long day..."

Willow looked at him sadly. "But there's somebody in
there."

"And they'll still be there tomorrow," Giles said
sharply.

"Giles!" Buffy gasped in surprise. That wasn't like him
at all. Something that realtor had said put him seriously
on edge. And she was damn well going to find out what
it was.

Xander glared at Giles before turning his attention back
to Willow. "Would you feel better if we could go
and... sort of.. pay our respects?"

"Yeah," Willow said. "I would.. that would be nice."

Giles let out a frustrated breath and walked around to
the driver's side. "Fine," he said tightly.

The others climbed into the car. "Anybody know where
we're going?" Buffy asked.

"Hillcrest Memorial," Willow said quickly.

"How do you know?"

She shrugged. "You don't read your own obit every
day."

"Good point."

The drive to the cemetery was incredibly
uncomfortable. The tension in the car was palpable.
Willow was thoughtfully quiet, struggling to make
sense of the nonsensical. All the while, Xander kept
a close eye on her.

Meanwhile, Buffy watched Giles. He was clearly keeping
something from them. And whatever it was, it wasn't
good.

Finally, they reached the graveyard.

*****

"This is sooooo creepy," Willow said softly, as she
stood staring down at her own tombstone.

"Yeah," Xander said as he slipped his hand into hers.

"Engraving's nice," Buffy offered. The others gave her
blank looks. "Well, it is... all swirly and.. and ..
it's a fine font," she finished lamely.

Giles stood off to the side looking very ill at ease,
almost as though he were on guard.

"I feel so Christmas Carol-y."

"W-we.. should be going," Giles put in.

"Taken too soon," Willow recited. "I wonder who...
who's in there."

"It'll be dark soon," Giles said tightly.

"I got it covered," Buffy assured him. "We're safe
from vamps."

Giles grunted and continued to stand lookout.

That was it. He was expecting trouble. And of there was
trouble, she'd deal. Buffy grabbed Giles by the arm and
slowly edged him away from Willow and Xander.

"Okay, give," she said. "You've been acting all weird since
that phone call. What aren't you telling us?"

"I don't think-"

"Giles," Buffy said with deadly seriousness. "I know you. And
something has you freaked. I can't help or even be ready to help
if you don't tell me what's going on."

Giles considered her for a moment and then nodded curtly.
He glanced at Willow quickly, a frown marring his features again.
He lowered his voice and clenched his jaw. "We need to
keep a close watch on Willow."

"She's freaked, but I don't think-"

"No..." Giles said firmly. "I'm... I'm afraid she might be in danger."

Buffy was instantly on guard. "Why?"

Giles took a deep breath. "Because whoever *is* buried in that
grave," he said with steel in his eyes. "... was murdered."


Part Three

"Mur-.. " Buffy frowned and lowered her voice. "Murdered?"

Giles let out a quick sharp breath and nodded.

"What is going on, Giles?"

"I don't know. I wish I did. But until we have a better handle
on the situation, I think it's best if Willow isn't left alone. Whoever
is responsible for this might..."

"They won't get to her, Giles," Buffy said with finality. "That's not
gonna happen."

Giles allowed himself a smile. As much as he was unnerved by
what was happening, it was comforting to know Buffy would do
everything in her power to keep Willow safe.

"How are you gonna tell her?" Buffy asked.

"I.. I was rather hoping not to," Giles admitted.

"Y-you don't want me to do it, do you?" Buffy said shaking her
head.

"No."

"Phew."

"I think it might be best... in light of everything else that's
happened, if we just kept this between us for now."

"Bad idea," Buffy said plainly.

"Well, I-"

"Trust me on this one... keeping secrets like this.. " she looked
down as the painful memories of her own lies of omission came
back to her. She frowned and looked up at Giles, another silent
apology for having concealed Angel's return clear in her eyes.
"They only hurt people."

Giles smiled wanly and nodded. "That's was entirely different...and,"
he added as he took hold of her shoulder. "...ancient history, Buffy."

"Yeah, well.. let's just make sure history doesn't repeat itself, okay?"

Giles thought for a moment and then nodded. He knew he had to
tell her the truth. Keeping her in the dark might make him
feel better, but she had the right to know the truth. He sighed
and looked back to Buffy. "You're right."

Buffy shrugged and smiled. "Bound to happen eventually."

****

"Okay, so no forwarding address?" Willow said into
the phone. "Hello? Hello?" She hung up the phone and
sighed. "They hung up."

"We'll find them, Wills," Xander assured her. "It just might
take a few days."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Uhm, I could use some tea.. anyone else?" Giles asked as he
took up the empty cups.

"Yes, please," Willow said as she handed him her mug.

"My eyeballs are floating already," Xander said. "Time to
hit the little boys' room."

As Xander went to the bathroom, Buffy stood and stretched.

"Buffy would you give me a hand?" Giles called from the other
room.

"I'm just .. gonna give Giles a hand.. in the kitchen.. with ... the
tea."

"Okay, "Willow said absently as she scanned her phone book in
hopes of somehow finding a number she'd missed the first ten
times.

Buffy joined Giles in the kitchen. "When are you going to do it?"
she whispered.

"I've been thinking."

"Good, and next comes the telling," Buffy said tersely.

"Yes, yes.. I will.. but... If there is someone out there who.. who
wants to harm Willow," he said with sour expression. "Perhaps we
can find them before they find her."

"How?"

"Well," Giles said as he slowly closed the door to afford them more
privacy. "Either this.. person or creature.. wants Willow dead and
thinks they've succeeded or is content for now to have a
substitute take her place."

"I'm with ya on that.. but how do we find them first?"

"Like any detective would. We need to know the particulars of
the murder.. if there was any evidence left at the scene.. any
witnesses.. anything that might give us some information on who
did this."

"I guess we could talk to the police," Buffy said and then rolled
her eyes. "Just forget I even said that."

"Yes, they aren't the most helpful ally, are they?" Giles agreed. "But
they do keep records... although, in this case I think the... coroner's
office might have what we need."

"Right," Buffy said, getting the picture now. "So, I go and liberate a
report or two... see what they know... we find the bad guy... Willow
lives happily ever after."

Giles nodded.

"Okay, Xander and I'll go and do a little mission impossible work
and you stay here and... tell her the truth, right?"

Giles sighed heavily. "Right."

Buffy patted his arm. "She's stronger than you think."

"Oh, I know," Giles said with a sad smile and then started to make
the tray. "I know."

Buffy watched him for long moment. Of all of them, he seemed the
most effected by all this. The usually unflappable Giles was practically
flapping all over the place. He was trying hard to cover it, but she
could tell inside he was scared.

Pushing that thought aside, Buffy went back into the living room.

Xander was in the middle of regaling Willow with the exploits of
John Jones, Martian Man Hunter.

"And so he usually, you know he defers to Superman, but he can
take care of business if he needs to..."

"Xander," Buffy interrupted. "I'm gonna go on patrol. You wanna
give me a hand?"

Xander frowned and cocked his head to the side. "A hand?"

"Yeah," Buffy said with a meaningful nod of her head to the
door. "A hand."

"Suuure," he said tentatively.

Buffy rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Oh? A hand.. patrolling. Sure," Xander said finally catching
her drift.

"Do be careful," Giles said as he came back with a pot of
fresh tea.

"You betcha," Buffy promised.

"You gonna be okay, Wills?" Xander asked.

Willow looked up and nodded, then shrugged and sighed
and leaned back into the sofa.

Xander looked over to Giles with questioning eyes.

"We'll be fine," Giles assured him.

"Right," Xander said as he crossed the room, grabbed his jacket
and left with Buffy.

Giles stood awkwardly for a moment before realizing he was still
holding the tea. He set it down on the coffee table and cleared
his throat.

Willow looked up at him expectantly. She knew the routine. Throat
clearing, anxious pacing, glass cleaning followed by bad news.

"You can just say it Giles," she said kindly. "I mean, what else can
go wrong? Okay.. that's a loaded question."

Giles sighed. "Yes," he agreed and then pushed the tea tray to
the side and sat on the edge of coffee table facing her.

He tried to smile reassuringly, but was certain it came out as more
of a grimace. Willow smiled patiently, but he could see the anxiety
and uncertainty in her eyes. He glanced down and saw her wringing
her hands.

"Willow," he said gently and instinctively reached out and took
hold of her hands. He frowned. "You're hands are cold."

Willow shrugged weakly. "Cold hands, warm heart?"

Giles rubbed his large, warm hands over hers. "Are you feeling
all right?" he asked as he searched her face for signs of illness.

"I'm okay," she said softly and ducked her head as she felt
self-conscious as Giles continued to massage her hands. It felt
wonderful, and not just the warmth of his skin, but the of the
man. She'd always found him attractive and when he did things
like that, she was sure she was going to say something stupid and
embarrass them both.

Giles noticed her apparent discomfort and gave her hands one
last rub before handing her a hot cup of tea. "This should help."

Willow smiled gratefully and took the tea. "The all purpose elixir."

Giles chuckled softly and rested his elbow on his knees as she
drank down a few sips. "Better?"

Willow nodded and held the cup in both hands to gather its warmth.

"Good," Giles said and looked down at his own clasped hands.
"I realize this is all terribly disconcerting for you.. and I you know
that I would do anything for you...to.. to make this easier," he
amended quickly. "We all would."

Willow smiled. "Yeah."

Giles looked at her. Her face was so open, so trusting. He had
to put some distance between them. He stood and walked a few
paces away before turning back. "I would have kept this from you
if I could, but Buffy's right.. you ... you have a right to know."

He paused and put his hands into his pockets. "I'm afraid the
person.. whoever it may be.. who your parents thought was you...
I'm afraid that person was... murdered."

He watched her closely, looking for signs of panic or anxiety.
But she just nodded solemnly.

"I know."

Compelled by curiosity Giles moved to sofa and sat down at her
side. "How did you know?"

"I don't know really," Willow admitted. "Just a feeling." She looked
over at him and frowned. "Maybe it's just living on the Hellmouth
too long. I always expect the worst."

Giles let out a long breath. That had gone much better than he
could have imagined. "Then you can understand why it's best
if you don't go out alone or at all for that matter until we know
what's going on."

"Why not?"

"Well, it's not worth risking your life. If whoever did this wants
you... dead, then we should play along until we know it's safe."

"Oh.. didn't expect that," Willow said in a shaky voice as she
put down the teacup with equally shaky hands.

"Oh," Giles said feeling ten times the fool. "I just assumed..."

Willow turned to him, her green eyes sparkling with fear. "Do you
really think someone wants me... you know.. dead?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "But I'll be damned if they'll
get what they want."

Willow fought back the tears, whether they was from fear or love,
she didn't know.. or care. She just wanted all of this to be over,
to feel safe again... the have the world back on its axis.

Giles put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his chest.
"Everything will be all right," he said softly as he held her. "It will."

*****

"Buffy?" Giles asked as he pulled himself away from his research
and looked to the front door.

Buffy, her face set in stone, came in without a word, followed
closely by a pale Xander.

"What's wrong?" Giles said as he stood and started toward her.

Willow stood up and looked at her friends. "What is it?"

Buffy marched across the room, pausing only to shove a file
folder in Giles' hands before taking Willow in a hug. "Wills.. you
know I love you, right?" She pulled back and looked into her
best friend's eyes.

"Yeah, I love you too."

Buffy nodded and gave her another hug. "I just needed to know
that you know, you know?"

"Yeah."

Xander watched the exchange and then walked silently into the
kitchen and leaned over the sink. He rinsed out his mouth and
then drank straight from the faucet before splashing his face
with the cool water.

Giles stood and looked down at the folder, almost afraid to open
it.

Xander walked back in and clapped Giles on the back as he passed.
"Feel free to barf," he said as he crossed to Willow and gave her
bear hug.

"Not that I don't love the hugs.. hugs are great," Willow said when
Xander finally let go. "But.. you guys are scarin' me." Giles
had told her where Buffy and Xander had gone. She didn't expect
them to come in singing, but this was a little unnerving.

"I know," Buffy said. "It's... we're... the..." she waved at the folder.
"The report was... pretty gruesome."

Giles bit the bullet and opened the folder. On top was a graphic
photo of the murder scene. He felt the bile rise in his throat.
"Dear God."

Part Four

All the color drained from Giles' face, and he had to
look away from the photos.

"What?" Willow asked anxiously.

Giles frowned and looked back at the pictures from the
coroner's report. Almost instantly, he felt the bile
begin to rise in his throat again and clamped his eyes
shut.

"Giles?"

He cleared his throat and looked at the floor,
avoiding the photos in his hands. "They're... the
pictures... they're rather graphic."

Willow paused for a moment and took a deep breath.
Having mustered enough courage she reached out. "Let
me see."

Giles clenched his jaw and shook his head.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Wills," Buffy
said.

"Definitely not a good idea," Xander chimed in.

"But-"

"They're really bad," Buffy said. "Really, really
bad."

"They can't be worse than what I'm imagining," Willow
countered. She took a step closer to Giles and held
out her hand.

Giles finally met her eyes, and she was struck by the
pain they held. "Yes, they can be," he said sadly.

Willow was about to ask again, but something in his
expression, a sense of desperation, brought her up
short.

"Please," Giles asked, his voice hushed, his eyes
pleading for her to understand, to grant him this
favor. "Trust me?"

Willow was so moved by the quiet fervor in his voice,
by the depth of need in his eyes, she acquiesced.
"Okay," she said softly.

Giles managed a small smile of thanks and relief.
Quickly, he ran from the depths of emotions the
photographs had stirred in him and sought refuge in
the familiar role of Watcher.

He turned away and shuffled the photos under the stack
of papers. "It seems the victim was found in the
bushes near the old factory on Stillwell Road."

"Stillwell? I was right there," Willow said growing pale.

"When?" Giles asked anxiously.

"That morning. I drove right by there. I had to get the extra
crossbow bolts from the freaky guy in Richford, remember?"

Giles nodded thoughtfully. "You don't remember seeing anything?
Anything out of the ordinary?

Willow frowned and gnawed on her lip as she tried to remember
something.. anything that might help. "No.. I just picked up the
stuff and came back here. I... What if I drove right past her?
Maybe I could have done something."

Giles shook his head and stalked across the room. "I'm not sure
you could have done anything to help her."

Willow watched him as he walked to the other end of
the room and then sank back down into the sofa. She knew
it was time she heard the truth. "What happened... I mean,
what happened to her?"

Buffy sat down at Willow's side, while Xander stood
sentinel over them both.

Giles flipped through the pages of the report. "The
police have listed it as a robbery homicide."

"Why did they think it was me?"

"They found your purse near the victim."

"That solves the case of the missing purse anyway,"
Xander said.

Willow gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, but... does...
does she... look like me?"

Giles frowned and shook his head slowly. He couldn't
quite say it.

Buffy saw him struggle tried to step in. "It's just that...
well... it's kind of hard to tell."

Willow looked at her in confusion.

Buffy put her hand on Willow's knee. "She was beaten
up pretty badly."

"But-"

Buffy's gaze hardened. "Really badly."

Willow fell silent for a minute. "Oh."

Eventually, Giles cleared his throat and continued.
"Yes... they couldn't identify her by conventional
means... she was... " His voice trailed off as he
scowled at the report. He took off his glasses and
rubbed his eyes. "They used fingerprints."

"Okay, whoa," Xander interjected. "How is that
possible?"

"Yeah," Willow said. "Cause my fingers are right
here." She wiggled her hands in the air. "See?"

"Yes," Giles said distractedly as he chewed on the
earpiece of his glasses. "Why though... would
the police have Willow's fingerprints on file?"

Willow pursed her lips in thought. "I don't know...
oh...."

"Oh?" Giles asked as he put his glasses back on and
leaned against the table.

"Back in junior high, after one of the 'gas leaks',"
Willow started. "The new police chief started this Kid
Save Program.. you know, fingerprint all the kids,
make files in case something happened."

"Oh yeah," Xander said. "I remember that."

Giles nodded, but his frown grew deeper. "Okay, so
that explains how the police had Willow's prints on
file," Buffy reasoned. "But how did her fingerprints
get on this other girl?"

Giles sighed. "Either someone in the police department
is in on this, and falsified the report... or..."

"Or?" Buffy prompted, getting that sinking feeling.

"Or," Giles continued as he started to pace. "Some one
used magics to manipulate the victim, to make her
fingerprints appear as Willow's."

"I am really starting to hate magic," Xander said.
"Whatever happened to pulling rabbits out of hats...
that was okay, but this is..."

"Planting Willow's purse near the victim, altering her
fingerprints... " Giles said thinking out loud. "Perhaps it's
some sort of warning... or they needed someone to
believe that Willow was .. dead... for some reason."

"But..." Willow said with a frown. "There's one thing
I don't understand... why me? I don't have any
enemies, do I?"

"Probably," Xander said.

Willow's eyes went wide with surprise. "I do not... do
I?"

"I don't think you can fight evil for six years and
not have enemies, Wills."

"I'm afraid he's right," Giles said.

"But I'm just a Scoobie. I... I'm support staff...you...
you don't hold grudges against support staff."

"I don't think demons are that discerning, Wills," Xander
said.

"But-"

"I think she's right," Buffy said suddenly.

"Okaaay," Xander said. "Then... back with the why?"

Buffy got up and walked to fireplace. "To get to me."
She turned and looked at Willow sadly. "To hurt me
through you."

"But-"

"She may have a point, Willow," Giles interrupted. His
expression grew more grim. "There's no better way to hurt
someone than through the people they love."

"I knew this would be my fault somehow," Buffy said
guiltily.

"Hey," Xander said. "No matter who is doing this -
It's not your fault."

"Exactly," Giles said. "A-and.. I don't think we
should jump to any premature conclusions... it's
possible that the perpetrator is trying to hurt Xander...
O-or me... Or Willow herself," he added quickly.
"We can't afford to rule out any possibility at this point."

"So we've narrowed it down to someone who might want
to hurt Buffy, you, Willow or me," Xander said. "Or it
could be something totally different."

Giles let out a deep breath and pinched the bridge of
his nose. "Yes, that about sums it up."

"Okay, so that leaves what..." Buffy said. "Half the population
of Sunnydale as suspects?"

Willow yawned. "So where do we start?"

Giles smiled at her. "*When* do we start? It's late.
I suggest we all try to get some sleep and start fresh
in the morning."

They all agreed and staked out their positions in the
living room.

"Willow, you can use the bedroom, if you'd like,"
Giles offered. "I'm going to review a few things and ..."

Willow smiled and shook her head. "No, that's all
right... I.. If it's okay with you.. I think I'd like
to stay down here... you know... just be sort of close
to everybody."

Giles smiled and nodded in understanding.

Blankets and pillows were passed out. Although they
all tried to fight against it, each wanting to stand
guard, eventually sleep claimed them, all but Willow.

*****

The smell of freshly brewing coffee pulled Xander from
his uneasy dream. He blinked the sleep from his eyes
and saw Buffy begin to stir from her spot on the sofa.

They shared a sleepy smile and Buffy giggled. "You've
got bed head.... well.. chair head anyway."

Xander reached up and felt his hair sticking up.
He tried to pat it down to no avail. "You've got cushion
creases on your face," he retaliated.

Giles sat up quickly in his chair and groaned as his
neck protested the movement.

Buffy rubbed her cheek and yawned. "Is that caffeine?"

"Mornin', Giles," Xander grumbled as he stood on shaky
legs and stumbled toward the kitchen.

Giles mumbled something incoherent in response and
then wobbled his way into the bathroom.

Buffy took a few deep breaths and smiled. "Coffee is
good."

Willow appeared at the door with Xander not far
behind. "It should be ready soon, but there's nothing
to eat, unless you count pickled kippers."

"Okay.... gross..."

Xander rubbed his stomach. "I don't know about you
guys, but I'm Starvin' Marvin."

"We could go get something," Buffy suggested as she
ran her fingers through her hair and rubbed the makeup
smudges away from her eyes.

"Mmm.. food."

"Donuts, maybe?" Willow asked hopefully. "Cause
nothing goes with caffeine like sugar." She hoped
some deep fried goodness would help her get
her appetite back.

"Whatever the Willow wants... the Willow gets," Xander
said with a smile.

"Let's do it," Buffy said.

"Don't forget the jellies for Giles," Willow said as
she walked back into the kitchen and the others headed
out.

"Got it," Buffy replied as she closed the door behind her.

Just then Giles emerged from the bath to the empty
living room. "Hello?"

"In the kitchen!" Willow called out.

Giles stopped in the doorway and allowed himself a
moment of contentment. Willow happily moving about his
kitchen, as though she were at home.

But when she turned to face him, and he saw the deep
circles under her eyes, he knew it was all an
illusion. His smile faded, and he crossed the room and
took the sponge from her small hand.

"This can wait," he said gently. "Why don't you try
and get some more rest."

Willow shook her head. "Can't sleep."

"A shower then. I'll find you something to change
into, and we can have Buffy and Xander get some more
clothes for you later today."

"A shower sounds good," she admitted.

Giles smiled. "Good. You go ahead then, and I'll be
back down with something."

Willow smiled back and touched his arm. He looked at
her quizzically. "Thank you," she said.

"It's nothing."

"No," she said and made sure he was looking into her
eyes. "Thank you."

Giles wanted to pull her into his arms, to hold her,
and never let go. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to
tell her that if there were any thanks to be given
they were his to give. She was the most beautiful
thing in his life.

But fear and insecurity washed all the rest away...
and all he could manage was a smile and shy nod.

Willow mistook his discomfort and withdrew her hand.
"I'm... I'm just gonna go.. shower now..."

"Right," Giles said bobbing his head. "And I'll...just
go upstairs."

They stared at each other for another long awkward
moment before setting off in their own directions.

Giles wasn't upstairs for more than a few minutes when
he heard the front door. He decided on a simple white
T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and headed back
downstairs. "That was awfully fa..." The rest of the
sentence died on his lips when he saw not Buffy and
Xander, but Ethan ... sitting casually on his sofa,
legs up, reading.

Giles' eyes narrowed and he paused on the stairs.
"You."

"Always one with the witty remarks, Ripper," Ethan
said without looking up from his reading. Before he
realized that Giles had even moved from his spot,
Ethan felt all too familiar hands grip this throat. He
dropped the police report and gasped for air.

Giles' eyes were like cold steel as he tightened his
grip. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you where
you sit."


Part Five

Ethan struggled to breath around Giles' iron grip, but
somehow still managed a smirk.

Giles' mouth was a flat line as he slowly tightened
his fingers and felt the muscles give under the
pressure.

Ethan's smile slowly faded as he started to feel the
instinctive panic build in his chest. He tried to pull
the hands away from his neck, but Giles' fingers were
like steel clamps.

"Ripper," he choked out. "S'not funny."

Giles grunted, and he increased the pressure. The past
twenty-four hours had been frustration piled upon
frustration, and he desperately needed a release.
Besides, one way or another Ethan was involved in this
mess, and he deserved everything he got.

"Ri..." Ethan gasped. "Give... over.." He tried vainly
to pull Giles' hands away from his throat. "No..
way... t-to... treat a.. guest."

Giles cold exterior flashed with an angry fire.
Finally, he grunted and shoved Ethan hard back against
the sofa and released him. As much as he wanted to
throttle the bastard, he couldn't bring himself to do
it.

Ethan gasped for air, desperately trying to get in as
much as he could. Swallowing and panting for breath,
he reached up and tried to casually straightened the
collar of his silk shirt. "And I've missed you too,"
he ground out.

Giles snarled and took a step closer, but Ethan
quickly got up and moved to put the sofa between him
and Ripper. He held up his hands in submission.
"Sorry."

Giles let out a quick, short breath and then his eyes
went wide with a sudden realization. Willow. He spun
around and looked at the bathroom door. It took him a
moment to register the sound of the shower and a few
minutes more to control the pounding of his heart.

He moved cautiously to stand between Ethan and the
hallway to the bath. For his part, Ethan moved in
counterpoint, making sure to keep the couch between
them. He knew Ripper wouldn't kill him in cold blood,
but in this mood, he could still do plenty of damage.

Giles stood guard in front of the hallway, ready for
whatever Ethan might try. He lowered his chin and
looked at his old friend with an icy glare. "If I ever
find out that you had *anything* to do with this... I
will kill you."

Ethan gave him a look of surprised indignation. "Me?"

"You," Giles said evenly.

Ethan shook his head and sighed. "I understand that
your grieving... angry.. but there's no reason to-"

"Angry?" Giles bit out. "How can you..." His voice
trailed off as he saw the police photos scattered on
the floor where Ethan had been sitting. He felt his
stomach churn and snapped his eyes back up to Ethan.
He looked at him with equal measures of rage and
disgust. "Admiring your work?"

Ethan traced his gaze down to the floor. "Ahh..." he
sighed as he leaned over and looked at the photos
again. He paused and pursed his lips in distaste. "Not
my style."

Giles lunged forward and snatched the photos from the
floor. Ethan glanced down at them, each more gruesome
than the last.

Giles couldn't bear to look at them and the idea of
anyone else seeing them was equally intolerable. It
wasn't logical, but their mere existence was an affront.

Not caring about anything but covering up the
offending images, Giles knelt down and fumbled to
gather the pictures up and put them away.

"J-just get out," Giles said as his hands trembled. He
managed to stuff the pictures back into the folder and
put it in a bookshelf on the far side of the room. He
didn't really think Ethan had killed the poor girl,
as he said, it wasn't his style. But it would have
been so nice and neat if Ethan had. Giles could kill
him, and Willow would be safe. Simple. But nothing
was ever simple. "Get out," he repeated.

"After I've come so far?" Ethan said easily. "Come to
see a mate in his time of need."

Giles' anger centered him and he glared at Ethan.
"You're not my mate."

"You wound me," Ethan pouted. "After all we've been
through."

"You mean, after all you've put me through?"

Ethan cocked his head to the side. "That too," he
admitted and "Whatever you may think, I'm only here as
a friend."

Giles snorted. "Friend? You don't know a damn thing
about friendship."

"That's true... But I do know you," Ethan said as he
smiled.

Giles grunted. "You don't know me at all."

"Well enough," Ethan said casually. Then he stared at
his friend with an statement that was anything but
casual. He seemed to be able to see right through him.
"You never did tell her, did you?"

Giles felt himself blanch under Ethan's scrutiny and
felt ashamed. Whether it was for letting Ethan get to
him or that the bastard was right, didn't matter. "I..
I don't know what you're talking about," he protested
lamely.

Ethan shook his head in pity. "That's the difference
between us, Ripper. I take what I want. You? You
can't even ask for it."

The truth in Ethan's words stung, but Giles would be
damned if he'd let him know it. "You know nothing
about me."

"The others may be too thick to see it," Ethan
started, but rewarded when he heard Giles growl. "They
see everything in the neat little packages. Slayer,
Witch, Watcher, and whatever the other one is..."

"Just leave, Ethan," Giles said feeling suddenly
tired.

"They didn't see what I saw.... The way you looked
at her."

Giles' eyes flashed with shock, and Ethan laughed.
"Thought you hid it well? Please, Ripper.. I *know*
that look," he added with a smirk.

Giles clenched his fists. "Shut up."

"The girl's dead, and you still can't even admit it,
can you?"

"I said shut up," Giles ground out.

"Thought after that little time with Angelus you would
have learned your lesson-"

"I needed to be taught a lesson?" Giles said bitterly.
"Is that it?"

"Ripper..." Ethan said with a sigh. "Life's full
of..." The rest of the sentence died on his lips as
Willow came out of the bath. "Surprises," he
whispered.

"Giles, I hope you don't mind," she said not having
seen Ethan yet. "I borrowed your comb."

"Willow," Giles said as he quickly strode over to her
side.

She looked up from combing her hair and smiled.

"Speak of the devil," Ethan said with an odd
statement.

"Ethan!" Willow eeped.

Giles pulled her behind him and turned to glare at
Ethan.

"Not literally of course, my dear..." Ethan said as he
tried to get a look at her. "You're... more of an
angel, aren't you?"

"Ethan," Giles warned.

Ethan kept staring at her, trying to put the pieces
together. "I owe you an apology, Ripper," he said with
a lascivious smile. "You've learned quite well."

Willow peeked around Giles and pulled his robe more
tightly around her body. "This.. this isn't what it
looks like."

Ethan smiled sadly. "Things seldom are, my dear."

Even when he wasn't being naughty Ethan managed to
make Willow feel naked. Of course, she was practically
naked and ducked back behind Giles. "I .. I think I'll
get dressed now."

Giles didn't respond. He was too busy glaring at
Ethan. Willow placed her small hand on Giles' bicep
and squeezed. "I.. I sort of need clothes, Giles."

"Hmmm? Oh.. yes," he said and vaguely remembered
bringing some downstairs for her. He quickly scanned
the floor and saw the spot where he'd discarded them
in his haste to kill Ethan. "There," he said and
returned his steely gaze to Ethan.

"I'll just... get 'em," Willow said softly as she
slipped around Giles' side, keeping him between her
and Ethan. She set the comb down on the end table and
gathered the clothes.

"I'll just... go back in there," Willow said nervously
as started back toward the bath.

Giles nodded, but never took his eyes off Ethan, who
for his part knew that he'd best hold his ground and
his tongue if he wanted to get out alive.

Once he heard the door click shut again, Ethan smiled
and moved to sit on the arm of the sofa. "Well..
well.."

"Get out, Ethan."

"Clearly, I missed a chapter somewhere..." he said
looking curiously at Giles.

Giles had wished to high heaven that Ethan was still
under the delusion that Willow was gone, but what's
done was done. "As you can see.. your .. condolences
are not only unwanted but unneeded."

Ethan arched an eyebrow in surprise and then smiled.
"So it would seem."

Giles took a menacing step forward. "And just so
there's no misunderstanding.... if I ever see you
anywhere near Willow... ever again... you won't live
to regret it."

Ethan sighed and Giles narrowed his eyes. "Do you
understand?"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Yes, I understand.. God,
you're pedantic."

"Get out."

"Fine.. fine," Ethan said casually. He stood slowly
and slipped the comb he'd palmed into his pocket. "I'm
going."

He walked to the door with Giles following. "Well," he
said casually. "It's been .. illuminating. You do keep
things interesting, Ripper."

Giles closed the distance between them and lowered his
voice to a dark whisper. "If you breath a word of
this-"

"Yes, yes.. you'll kill me," Ethan said with a sigh.
"I take it back, you're as boring as ever."

Giles' eyes flashed, and Ethan knew a good exit when
he had one. He pulled the door open and moved quickly
outside. "Ta!"

Giles slammed the door and threw the locks. He let out
a deep breath and leaned against the closed door. He
had a sinking feeling that wasn't the last he'd see of
Ethan Rayne.

Part Six

Willow poked her head out of the bathroom. "Giles?"

Giles let out a long breath and pushed himself away
from the door. "Yes?"

She stepped halfway out. "Is he gone?"

Giles smiled briefly. "Yes.. for now."

Willow straightened the hem of the large T-shirt and
joined Giles in the living room. "What did he want?"

Giles arched an eyebrow. "To give me his condolences."

"Yeah, right," Willow said as she sat down at the
table.

"Exactly," Giles said as he moved about the room. He
had pent up energy he needed to burn off. He was left
with the bitter taste of unsatisfied anger.

He'd been clinging to the notion that Ethan was to
blame. And while that still might be the case, he felt
less and less sure of his convictions. And with each
increasing doubt, the dread of being helpless grew.

He watched Willow as she pulled at her hands
nervously. "I don't know why he was here," he
admitted. He wanted to lie, to give her false
assurances, but for some reason the truth
came out instead.

Willow looked up at him and nodded. Ethan always
unnerved and with everything that had been happening,
she felt incredibly out of control.

Giles sighed heavily. Sitting there in his clothes, she
looked so small and fragile... and at the same time, so
incredibly attractive. He pushed that thought deep down
and made a mental note to chastise himself for it
later. Now was *not* the time for such things.

"Did you see the way he looked at me?" Willow asked
suddenly.

Giles coughed and cleared his throat. Had she read his
mind? Good lord, was he leering like Ethan had done?
"Yes, I'm sorry about that.. he's not exactly a
gentleman."

Willow cocked her head to the side in confusion. "I
didn't mean.. oh!.. Yeah, that too," she said
realizing what he meant. "But I was talking about
how... I don't know.. he just looked at me funny."

Giles stopped pacing about and considered her. The
frown that creased her brow and the sadness in her
eyes made his heart ache. He felt his anger slowly ebb
as it was replaced with a wave of protectiveness.

"It was weird," she said thoughtfully. "He seemed...
surprised."

Giles frowned. "Yes, he did. But... He can't be
trusted. You can't take anything Ethan says or does at
face value. He could easily have been putting on a
show for our benefit."

"But why?"

Giles resumed pacing. "Well... if he is involved. He
could think he's throwing us off the track by feigning
surprise. Coming here under the guise of sympathy...
and letting us witness his shock at your *not* being
dead."

"Hmmm.. or... maybe.. I'm not saying it's true, but
maybe he was just being... nice?"

Giles let out a quick short laugh. "I wouldn't go that
far. Ethan always has an angle. Even if he has nothing
to do with this, he's wants something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know.. but with him it's always best to
assume the worst. He never disappoints on that score,"
he added sadly.

Suddenly, there was a loud thud against the door.
"Oww.. hey!" The knob jiggled and then Buffy banged on
the door. "What's with the door? I could have hurt myself.
Giles!"

Willow giggled, and Giles sighed in mock exasperation
as he went to undo the latches. "They're called locks Buffy,"
he said, as he opened the door.

"Yeah, sure.. now you use them," she said as she
marched in and headed straight for the kitchen.

Xander followed her with a big box of donuts. "A dozen
of Sunnydale's finest," he said as he set them down on
the counter.

Giles opened the box and frowned. "A dozen usually
means twelve, Xander."

With eyes as innocent as a lamb, he peered into the
box. "Would you look at that? Short changed us."

Willow smiled. "You've got powdered sugar on your
chin."

"Oh?" Xander said and rubbed it away. "Oops."

"Told ya they'd notice," Buffy said as she poured the
milk. "So.. what'd we miss?"

Giles reached for a jelly and grabbed a napkin.
"Ethan," he said as he took a huge bite.

"I'm sorry?" Buffy said. "Sounded like you said
Ethan."

Giles chewed and nodded.

Buffy looked around the apartment. "Why am I not
seeing him tied up or better yet... dead?"

Giles sighed and kept chewing.

"Would you swallow?" Buffy demanded. "This is the
same Ethan, right? Chaos loving... pied piper of
badness Ethan?"

Giles swallowed. "Yes."

"I'm with Buff... why would you let him go?" Xander
said.

"I'm not sure he's involved," Giles said.

"Not sure? How about I go and beat him up till we're
sure," Buffy suggested.

"I like that plan," Xander said.

"I think that would be a waste of time," Giles said.

"Beating up Ethan is never a waste of time," Buffy
countered.

"Normally I'd quite agree with you, but I think your
skills of persuasion would be better used trying to
find out more about whoever actually committed the
crime."

"And what if that is Ethan?" Xander asked.

Giles frowned. "I admit that he can't be ruled out,
but... that sort of crime... it's.. if he is involved,
he hired someone to do the dirty work. We find whoever
that is... we find who's behind it."

"All right.. that makes sense," Buffy conceded. "But I
still want to kick his ass."

"Don't we all," Giles said softly.

"What can I do?" Willow asked.

Giles realized she'd been silent this whole time,
sitting quietly at the table. His statement expression
softened as he looked at her. She looked so scared
and yet so determined. Just another one of the
paradoxes about her he found so endearing.

"Cause I need to do something. I have to do
something," she added. "I need to help."

"Right," Giles said. "We'll research. See what we can
find out about the crime... and perhaps get a line on
your parents."

Willow smiled. "Right. Research."

Giles turned back to Buffy. "Why don't you and
Xander go down to Willy's... see if any of the..
patrons know anything useful."

Buffy grinned. "Can I hit them?"

"If... necessary," Giles said half disapproving and
half envious.

"But I wanna be the bad cop," Xander said. "You always
get to be the bad cop."

"Fine," Buffy said as she grabbed two donuts for the
road. "We can both be the bad cop."

"Eggsellent," Xander said with a grin.

"Ok, Wills... and Giles do that research voodoo you do
so well... and we'll be back soon... 'kay?"

Willow put on her best face and nodded. "Check."

"We'll find 'em," Buffy promised and then gave Willow
a big hug. "Love you."

Xander, his fistful of donut smush, was right behind
her. "Count me in on the lovin'," he said as he leaned
down and gave her hug and a kiss.

Buffy stopped next to Giles and said under breath,
"Keep an eye on her... okay?"

Giles nodded and looked at Willow. Her eyes did flash
for a moment, lit with the spark of life that loved so
much, but it faded quickly and he noticed how drawn
and pale she was.

He continued to watch her as Buffy and Xander left.
She must have sensed him staring because she looked up
nervously and blushed. "Uhm... research... then?"

Giles smiled a bit shyly. "R-research.. right." He
pulled out her chair as she stood and frowned as she
walked into the living room. She was moving too
slowly, not at all the vibrant Willow he was used to.
Of course, she'd been under an incredible strain, but
still... he was worried.

*****

The research had been, not surprisingly, fruitless.
Not that Giles' heart was really in it. All he had to
do was look across the room to see where his
heart really was.

Oh, he'd tried to research. At first. He tried to
stomach reading over the police report again. He tried
to understand a society where the murder of an
innocent girl was barely a mention in the local paper.
But after a few hours of making no progress at all,
he'd suggested they shift focus to trying to find her
parents.

But that seemed just as hopeless. They'd left town so
abruptly and seemed to have severed all ties with
Sunnydale so irrevocably, that tracking them was all
but impossible.

And yet, through it all, Willow kept on. Her sunny
disposition had clouded a bit, but she tried so hard
not to show it. But Giles knew her too well. He could
see a little bit of her faith fall with each disappointment,
and he longed to lift her up and take her in his arms
and wish it all away.

He watched as the circles under her eyes had grown
darker with every passing hour, until he couldn't bear
it any longer.

"That's enough, Willow," he said. "Why don't we take a
break?"

"B-but.. I.. I really should find them," she said as
she fumbled with her note pad.

Giles crossed the few feet that separated them and sat
down by her side.

"There are.. a few places... I could try again.."

He watched her small hands tremble as she gripped the
papers. He reached out to steady her hand.

"My God, Willow," he gasped. "Your hands are like
ice."

"I'm sorry," she said.

Giles frowned and reached up to feel her forehead.
"You're cold," he said, his frown deepening. "Are you
feeling ill?"

"No, no.. I'm fine."

But Giles would have none of it. "How long have you
felt this way?" he asked as his hand slid down to her
cheek.

Willow let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes for a
moment.

"Willow?" Giles prompted.

"I..I..."

Giles reluctantly let go and got up to get her a
blanket. He pulled one from the back of a chair. "You
should have said something."

"I'm fine. Really. Just a little rundown, but I'll
perk right back up, I promise," she said with a
bright, but clearly forced smile.

"This should help some," Giles said as he laid the
blanket over her lap. "I'll go make some more tea."

With one last look he walked into the kitchen and put
the kettle on. He stared down at the flickering
flame and chastised himself. He should have seen this
coming. He knew Willow would never mention it, just
quietly push herself past the breaking point. But he
should have known better.

With a self-deprecating sigh, he foraged through the
cabinets in search of something to feed her. She
hadn't eaten any of the donuts from the morning and it
was already well into the afternoon. In fact, he
couldn't remember when she'd eaten last.

He managed to scrounge up a can of potato leak soup,
although why in God's name he'd bought a can of potato
leak soup was beyond him.

"Giles," Willow called out from the living room.

"I'm just putting some soup on," he said as he worked
to open the can. "You just relax."

"But really," Willow said from the doorway. "I'm fine
and you don't have to-"

"Willow." Giles shook his head and turned around.
"Come along," he said as he escorted her back to the
sofa. He gently eased her down and then knelt to
retrieve the blanket. He laid it over her lap and
started to tuck it in around her legs. "Just make sure
this is snug."

Willow smiled at him. "I don't think I could get out
if I wanted to... n-not that I want to."

Giles grinned. "Good," he said as he continued to
making sure she was securely tucked in.

Willow watched him for a moment. He was such a
wonderful man. Smart, strong, caring...so handsome.
She blushed as her own thoughts took a turn into
dangerous territory. "Y-you.. don't have to fuss over
me."

Giles smiled again, but kept his eyes down. "I.. I
sort of enjoy fussing over you," he said softly.

"You do?"

Giles looked up and their eyes met shyly. "Very much."
He smiled nervously and looked down again, smoothing
out the blanket.

Finally, he'd tucked and smoothed beyond reason and
declared the job finished. "There," he said.

"Thank you."

Giles looked at her for a long moment. Indulgently
admiring her. Even through all this, she was still so
beautiful.

"Giles," she said softly as she reached down to touch
his hand, which had unwittingly come to rest on her
thigh.

"Oh," he said nervously and started to pull away, but
Willow held his hand in place.

"Giles," she said again, more firmly, but no less
tenderly.

He looked down at her small hand covering his before
he gathered the courage to look into her face again.

Maybe the eyes see what the heart wants them to, but
in that moment at least he saw love in hers.

Time slowed to the barest of beats, as they looked at
each other. Each searched the other's face with the
same mixture of hope and amazement.

Her eyes seemed to caress him as she had in his
dreams, covering the whole of him with such
tenderness.

His gaze moved slowly from the depths of her eyes,
along the smoothness of her skin down to the
temptation of her lips. He lingered there for a long
drawn out moment before looking back up to her eyes.

Willow leaned in just the slightest bit, or he never
would have even entertained the thought that suddenly
seemed the only one in his mind.

Her lips parted slightly, and her eyes dipped down to
take in the curves of his mouth.

In that moment, he was sure his pounding heart stopped
beating and the whole world faded away.

With aching slowness, he moved closer and closer,
until --

"That felt good!" Buffy blurted out as she bounced
into the apartment.

Giles jumped back from Willow, nearly tripping over
the coffee table. "Don't you *ever* knock?" he
bellowed.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist," Buffy said.

"We have good news," Xander added as he closed the
front door.

Giles grunted and then nervously looked down at Willow
who was studiously not looking at him.

He felt like such an ass. He'd nearly kissed her. And
all the provocation it took was a kind word and parted
lips. Good lord, was he so far gone? How could he have
nearly overstepped his bounds so radically? Feeling
ashamed and foolish, he strode toward Buffy and Xander
hoping to regain some equilibrium in getting back to
business.

"What did you find out?" Giles asked tersely.

"Hello? Good news.. where's the ya and the hoo?"
Xander asked.

"Yes, I'm sorry.. good news?" Giles said as he tried
to level out his emotions.

"What is it?" Willow asked.

"Well," Buffy started. "The usuals at Willy's weren't
much help."

"Although," Xander said with a smile. "That one did
run funny. Remember?"

"Oh yeah," Buffy giggled. "Like Phoebe on-"

"The point," Giles interrupted. "Would you please get
to it?"

"Hmmm?" Buffy said still giggling. "Right.. Anyway..
so we managed to get Willy alone.. He is such a
weasel."

"He sang like a canary," Xander added with a smile.

"Yeah. He might have a line on the guy we're looking
for. A few days ago, a man came in talking about-"

"Uhm, guys," Willow said suddenly as she stood up.
"Something's wrong."

"Yeah we know.. we're--" Buffy started, but the words
died on her lips as she turned and saw Willow phase
out.

"Willow," Giles called out as he moved toward her, but it
all happened too quickly.

Her body became translucent, flickered and then
solidified again.

Giles reached her just as her eyes rolled back in her
head and she collapsed into his arms.


Part Seven

Giles could feel the remnants of magic crackle along
her body like small electrical charges. They were
already beginning to fade, but the sensation was
unmistakable.

Buffy and Xander crowded around as Giles eased
Willow's limp body down onto the sofa.

"Willow?" Giles called out anxiously as he took her
hand and rubbed it forcefully between his.

"Is she okay?" Buffy asked.

"Wills?" Xander said plaintively.

As if on cue, Willow's eyes fluttered open.

"Thank God," Giles gasped, as he released the breath
he'd been holding. Instinctively, he reached out and
smoothed the hair away from her face.

"You okay?" Xander asked knelt beside her.

Willow's eyes were unfocused for a moment and then
seemed to clear. She saw Giles first, smiling down at
her with such tender concern. If he was going to look
at her like that, it was worth whatever had happened.
And speaking of that... "What happened?" she
asked weakly.

"You... you started to-" Buffy said, but Giles quickly
cut her off.

"You fainted," he said firmly and cast a quick warning
glance toward Buffy, then returned his gaze to Willow
and smiled gently. "I told you, you need to take
better care of yourself."

Xander looked at Buffy for confirmation that something
was definitely up. She caught his eye briefly and
frowned at him in equal confusion.

Giles was pleased to see Willow's eyes continuing to
clear. "How do you feel?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and scrunched up her face.
"Sort of... oogy."

Giles allowed himself a small momentary laugh. "Oogy?"

"Yeah," Xander explained. "It's somewhere between blah
and pooey."

Giles gave him a bemused smile, but it faded quickly
as he saw how pale and weak Willow really looked.
"D-do you remember anything about what happened?"

Willow frowned and shook her head slowly. "I was just
standing there listening to you guys and then I felt
like I was being pulled away.. from the inside.. I
guess I was starting to lose consciousness... "

"Anything else?" Giles asked.

She shrugged. "Just some bright colors... but they
were all blurry then.... waking up." She could tell he
was processing what she'd said and didn't like what he
was discovering. "Should I remember something else?"

Giles forced himself to smile and shook his head. "No,
no.. of course not. But .. it.. it does seem you've
come down with something," he added, as he patted her
arm gently and stood.

Xander looked anxiously at Buffy. He couldn't for the
life of him figure out why Giles was keeping the truth
from Willow, but knowing the G-Man he had a good
reason. This was not your run of the mill fainting.
Not by a long shot.

Giles stood over them, his expression growing darker
as the wheels in his mind continued to turn.

Buffy looked up at him and felt her stomach jump. She
knew that look, that set of the jaw, the wrinkle in
his brow. That was his gonna take matters into his own
hands look. It was not a good look.

Suddenly Giles grunted, and Buffy knew he'd
come to some sort of decision.

"Try to eat something," Giles said to Willow and then
strode toward the door. "I've an errand to run. Won't
be long."

"Um, okay," Willow said, disappointed and confused by
his abrupt change in demeanor.

Buffy smiled at her reassuringly and squeezed her
hand before moving to catch Giles at the door.

Buffy grabbed his arm and felt the muscles already
corded and tense. "Giles?"

He looked at her with piercing eyes. If she were
anyone but the Slayer she would have blanched under
the intensity. "I'll be back soon," he said curtly.

"Giles-"

"Buffy," he said, his tone brooking no argument. "Let
go."

"No," she said just as firmly, but then something
flashed in his eyes, a brief moment of desperation and
pleading, colored the anger. She sighed and eased her
grip, finally releasing him. "Okay... but tell me
where you're going."

Giles looked over her shoulder at Willow and Xander,
who was clearly making her smile. He wished he could
have seen it. "I'll be back soon," Giles repeated
absently.

All at once, Buffy put the pieces together. "It's
Ethan isn't it? He...he did that.. whatever it was to
her, didn't he?"

Giles brought his attention back to Buffy and frowned.

His silence was answer enough. "I'm going with you."

"No," he said shaking his head.

"Giles-"

"Ethan is my responsibility, Buffy," Giles said grimly
and cast one more glance into the living room. "Anything
he's done... " He fixed her with a look a finality. "If I
need your help, I'll call... but this is mine."

"All right," Buffy said grudgingly. "But you better
call if you need help. No stupid macho stuff."

"Just keep an eye on Willow," Giles said. "Don't let
her know what's really happened. She has enough to
deal with right now."

"Okay."

Giles nodded, glanced at Willow one more time and left
on his errand.

Buffy forced a smile onto her face and marched back
into the living room.

*****

The cheap motel room door gave in easily. It swayed on
its one remaining hinge for a moment before it fell to
the floor with a clattering thud. Giles, his eyes like
fire, stepped forward and filled the empty doorway.

Ethan was on the other side of the small room standing
in front of the dingy wall mirror. Never turning
towards the door, he grinned at Giles' reflection.
"Took you long enough," he said casually. "I've been
expecting-" The rest of his sentence died on his lips,
as he tried to spin around in a vain attempt to defend
himself from the attack.

Giles was across the room before Ethan knew what hit
him. And hit him he did. Giles' first blow was a
vicious left hook that sent Ethan staggering back into
the small bureau under the mirror.

He'd wasted time with talk before. But Giles wasn't
going to make that mistake again. Not this time.

Giles lunged forward and grabbed Ethan by the shirt
collar. He pulled Ethan's head down with a quick jerk
and felt the first wave of satisfaction as his rising
knee met it with a solid crack.

Stunned, Ethan fell off to the side. He tried to
gather his wits and gurgled through the blood that was
starting to fill his mouth. "Wait.. Ripper..
Please..."

Without pause, Giles kicked him in the ribs and
watched mercilessly as his old friend curled into a
pathetic ball.

*****

"Ooooo.. that's gotta hurt," Xander said from his
perch on the back of the sofa.

"Oh yeah," Buffy said. "But he's the sheriff. He can
take it."

Willow pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and
frowned. "I still don't see why he doesn't change his
name."

"Pusser," Xander said with a smile as he braided
Buffy's hair.

"Buford T. Pusser," Willow amended.

"That is pretty bad," Buff said. "And what the hell
kind of name is Buford?"

"Hmmm.... " Xander said with a grin. "Good question..
*Buffy*."

Buffy just rolled her eyes. This conversation was
older than dirt.

But Xander was undeterred and kept on going. "I mean,
I've known you for six years and I'm still waiting for
Mr. French to show up."

Willow giggled.

"Giles is sort of Mr. Frenchy," Buffy suggested.

"True," Xander said happily and then quickly tried
to cover a horribly disfiguring braid booboo. "Way
Frenchy."

"And I'm sort of cute and I have red hair," Willow
said brightly. "So that makes me Jody!"

Buffy grinned and turned to face Xander. "You do know
what that makes you..."

Xander wrinkled his nose. "Cissy...." Buffy and Willow
laughed. "But she was so uppity..."

Buffy nodded sagely, and Xander harrumphed. "I don't
like this game."

Buffy winked at Willow. "Okay, how about Gilligan's
Island."

"Better!" Xander said enthusiastically. "Okay, the
Buffster is definitely Ginger.. And Wills is the
perfect Mary Anne," he said with a genuine smile.
"Giles is so the Professor it's scary... And that
makes me-"

"Gilligan!" both girls said in unison.

Xander frowned and pouted again. "I don't like this
game."

*****

"What game?" Ethan wheezed out as he tried to catch
his breath.

Giles stared down at him, his eyes as cold as ice.
Without warning, he threw his fist and backhanded
Ethan. With barely a flicker of emotion Giles rubbed
the back of his hand. "I want answers. Now."

Ethan sighed and then winced as his broken ribs
screamed. "Don't we all," he mumbled.

Giles reached into his pocket, and Ethan reflexively
flinched. Giles sneered; he wouldn't spare this
man any sympathy.

Giles took out his handkerchief and wiped the blood
from his knuckles. "What did you do to Willow?" he
asked, with an eerie calm. "Don't bother to lie."

Sensing a pause in the action, Ethan tried vainly to
find a comfortable position. "It was just a small
spell," he said.

"So you admit it?" Giles growled. He'd expected, even
hoped, that Ethan wouldn't be so forthcoming.

"Yes," Ethan said evenly as he shifted his weight. "No
harm in it."

Giles blanched. Had he really misjudged Ethan so
completely? "No harm?"

Giles felt the anger begin to boil again in the pit of his
stomach.

"That's right," Ethan said and then looked at Giles
matter of factly. "After all, she can't be harmed."

That wasn't the answer Giles expected, and it caught
him off guard. He tried to quickly cover his surprise
with suspicion. He narrowed his eyes. "Keep talking."

Ethan frowned. "Well, I wasn't sure at first," he said
thoughtfully. "Thought I was seeing things," he added
with a short laugh that was quickly beaten back by the
pain.

Giles watched him try to catch his breath, but
patience was something he had in short supply.
"Ethan.." he warned.

"Believe it or not, I don't get any pleasure in this."

Giles snorted. "I doubt that."

Ethan shrugged slightly and Giles took a threatening
step forward. "Why did you do it? Why would
you give that girl Willow's fingerprints?"

Ethan looked up at his old friend in surprise and then
his expression changed into what can only be
described as pity. It made Giles skin crawl with
cold apprehension.

Ethan cocked his head to the side. "You still don't
see it, do you?"

"See what?" Giles bit out.

"Ripper... Rupert," he said gently. "Willow is...
*your* Willow," he amended meaningfully. "She's...
she's dead."


Part Eight

Giles came through the front door with a grunt and
crossed immediately to the bottle of scotch he kept
on one of the living room shelves. He uncapped it
and poured himself a stiff drink.

"Went that well, huh?" Buffy quipped.

Giles grunted again. "Bad taste in my mouth," he
said as he took a deep pull from the glass.

Xander and Buffy exchanged nervous glances,
but it was Willow who asked the question. "What
did Ethan do?"

Giles turned and looked at her in surprise, then
glared at Buffy.

"I didn't say anything," she protested.

Willow smiled weakly. "I'm the smart one,
remember?"

Buffy nodded and Giles' frown deepened. He
took another drink and set down his glass.

"So you saw him?" Buffy asked.

Giles set his jaw. "And he saw me."

"Ah," Buffy said with a knowing nod.

"And for the cryptically impaired.." Xander
asked. "That means..?

"That he hit him till he bled," Buffy explained.

"Ah," Xander said with a nod.

Willow saw the bruises on Giles' knuckles and
the small spatters of blood. She frowned at looked
at him sadly. She felt guilty. This was all because of
her.

Giles recognized her expression and shook his head.
"He deserved it... and more."

Buffy sighed. "When do I get to hit him? I'm the
Slayer. I wanna hit him."

"Take a number," Xander said.

Willow hated that Giles had been in a fight... and
it was all her fault. "What happened?" she asked.

Giles grunted and started to shift his weight as the
tension from the meeting still coursed through his
veins. "The usual... lies... deceit."

Willow watched him sadly. "Does he have anything
to do with what's happening?"

"He claimed to be innocent," Giles bit out.

"And so you beat him up anyway?" Xander asked.

Giles nodded.

"Works for me," Xander said.

"So... uhmm.." Buffy said trying to sound casual.
"What about the.. you know.. did he?"

"The what?" Willow asked anxiously.

Giles glared at Buffy, but she just shrugged. "She
has a right to know, Giles."

"Know what?"

Giles grunted and nodded. "Yes, of course." He
looked at Willow and took a deep breath. "You didn't
faint earlier... that.. that was a spell... a divination of
one's true nature... supposedly... Ethan's doing."

"I hope you hit him *really* hard," Buffy bit out.

"B-but... but why?" Willow asked nervously. Something
inside her, something small and terrifying, started to
grow, to work its way toward the surface.

"I don't know," Giles said.

"What'd he say?" Willow asked.

Giles glanced at her and felt his chest tighten. A wave
of panic surged through him, but he pushed it down.
He flexed his bruised hands and tried to shake the
tension that seized his shoulders.

The three friends watched him with growing concern.
They'd seen Giles upset, worried and even furious, but
there was something else there too.

"Giles," Xander said evenly. "What happened over there?"

Giles pushed out a quick breath and clenched his jaw.
"He claimed...." He shook his head and frowned. "It doesn't
even bear repeating."

"Yeah, but..." Buffy said. "Maybe you should anyway."

Giles stopped pacing and looked at them. They were
right, of course, but he hated to even give breath to what
Ethan had said. He pulled off his glasses and pinched the
bridge of his nose. "He claims that... that Willow is..."

"What?" Buffy prompted.

He put his glasses back on and a dark scowl covered
his face. "Dead."

"What?" Xander cried.

Buffy tightened her fists. "I really, really hate him."

Willow's brow wrinkled and she clasped her hands in her
lap. She stared down at them. "Why would he say that?"

"Because he's a bastard," Giles ground out and instantly
regretted his tone. The hurt in Willow's voice was tearing
him apart and he couldn't seem to do a damn thing about
it.

"This is just sick," Xander spit out. "This is all some
sort of joke to him?"

Willow nodded thoughtfully. "But..." she looked up
at Giles pleadingly. "But why? Why would he say that?
He.. He saw me here... I don't understand."

Giles felt all his anger smothered by a surge of love and
protectiveness. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms,
and if Buffy and Xander hadn't been there, he would have.
But, this wasn't about what he needed, he reminded himself.
It was about what Willow needed.

He managed a small, comforting smile, but it faded
quickly as he saw something else cross her face...
something fleeting, but unmistakably wrong. He felt an icy
cold chill run up his spine. "What is it?" he asked.

Willow smiled sadly and he could see her fighting down
her fear. "I don't know," she said softly.

"Wills?" Buffy said nervously.

Xander's heart started pumping faster, as an uneasy
feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. Willow was
starting to shake and he reached out and took her
hand. "You're starting to scare me," he said with
a nervous laugh.

Willow looked at him and his uneasiness bloomed
into dread.

She looked back down for a moment as her chin
trembled. "What if... what if he's right?"

Giles felt something inside him shift and try as he
might he couldn't keep it from bubbling to the surface.
A faint recognition of a truth began to fight its way
from the depths he'd banished it to. Almost against
his will, the words came.. inviting the end. "What do
you mean?"

Willow's shaking grew more pronounced and she
swallowed a few times to try to reclaim some control.
"I... I have a bad feeling," she said in a quavering voice.

"You feel sick?" Xander asked and turned to Giles
worriedly. "Is this another spell?"

Giles just stared at Willow, seeing the same truth
grow larger and more grotesque. Fragments of the past
few days echoed across his mind, a litany of evidence
he'd refused to see.

As if she'd been in his mind Willow gasped. "Oh boy,"
she whispered and started to breath faster and faster
and the panic built. "Giles?" she asked desperately.

He clenched his jaw to keep the sob from escaping.
He wanted to scream, he wanted to rage. Anything,
but this helplessness.

"What's going on?" Buffy said anxiously.

"I need to know," Willow said as the tears began to
fill her eyes.

Giles, his face a mask of barely contained pain,
stared at her for a long moment before nodding. He
stood up and turned away and took a deep breath.
"There is a way," he said as he walked slowly
to his desk.

"A way to what?" Xander demanded and then turned
to Willow. "You are not dead. I don't want any of this
dead talk. You're sitting here. I see you. I feel you....
You .. are not dead."

Willow looked at him with tears streaming down her
face and Xander shook his head in denial. "No," he said.


"Xander," Buffy said firmly. Her eyes were filled with
tears too. As much as she didn't want to believe it, a
part of her knew it was true.

Giles cleared his throat and came back to the group.
He held a round crystal, the size of a child's fist in his
hand. It glowed a brilliant green.

Willow looked at the crystal and smiled through the
tears. "The Ibsen crystal," she whispered.

Giles nodded, not trusting his voice.

The crystal had been a gift from Willow last year.
They'd gone to gather magic supplies and been
enamored with it. It glowed in accordance with a
person's life force... a different color and hue
for everyone. She'd loved the color it glowed for
him and surprised him with it later that day.

Giles stood there awkwardly, the green globe resting
in the palm of his hand. "A-are you sure?" he asked
haltingly.

Willow blinked a few times and bit her lip. Finally, she
nodded.

Giles couldn't seem to move, couldn't bring himself to
provide the final proof. Buffy stood up and lifted it gently
from his hand. The green light faded at her touch and an
orange glow began to work its way through the stone.

Buffy sat back down next to Willow and waited till she
was ready.

Willow nodded slowly.

"We're all here," Buffy said and then handed the
globe to Willow.

The crystal's orange light began to dim, slowly reverting
to its natural opaque state. Suddenly there was a flash
of light and Willow gasped.

"See," Xander said hopefully.

But the light faded as quickly as it had come and a
dark smoke began to fill the ball. Darker and darker
the center grew, until the whole of the crystal was
consumed by an oppressive blackness.

Willow sobbed once loudly and then started to tremble.

"Dear God," Giles whispered in anguish.

He felt hollow. As though everything inside him,
everything that made him who he was had been stripped
away.

In the beginning, Willow was everything he was willing
to die for and somewhere along the journey she'd become
everything he lived for.

"No!" Xander bellowed. He ripped the crystal from her
hand, lunged to his feet and threw it across the room.
It exploded against the wall, shattered pieces cascading
to the floor.

Willow gasped and Buffy pulled her into her arms. She
held her as they both sobbed.

Xander stared angrily at the pieces of jagged stone...
silently accusing.

Giles felt his body begin to shake. He had to move. He
couldn't keep still. If he stayed still he'd go mad.

It was like falling into an endless pit. He fought to tamp
down the terror, the anger, the nothingness... He sought
refuge in his logic. He could escape into that, into a place
his emotions held no sway. "Th-there's .. clearly some..
some sort of... phenomena at work here," he stuttered.

"Phenomena?" Xander growled.

"Y-yes... s-some s-sort of reason... h-her.. her spirit..
is.. is still bound here," Giles reasoned.

Xander's face twisted with disgust. "Is that your answer
for everything?"

"I.. I think.. there's a pr-precedent," Giles said as he
started toward the bookshelves.

Xander stepped in his way. "Don't you *feel*
anything?" he yelled.

Giles tried to sidestep around him, but Xander
grabbed his arm. "Don't you even care?"

Giles grabbed the younger man by the shoulders
and shoved him hard up against the wall. His eyes
burned with fire. "Shut up!!!" he roared.

"Stop it!" Buffy yelled. "God, just stop it."

Willow closed her eyes to it all and held onto Buffy.

Both men, still seething with unspent emotion, glared
at each other, but stepped away. His chest heaving,
Giles crossed to the other side of the room. He kept
his back turned and reached out to grip the bookcase.
"I.. I'm sorry," he said softly.

Xander pushed out a few sharp breaths and shook
his head. "I just can't accept this."

Giles tried to regain his control. He scanned the titles
of the books on the shelves, but his wouldn't seem to
focus.

Xander stared down at Willow and finally gave in to the
truth. He sat down at her side and pulled both women into
his arms.

The three friends cried and held each other.

Giles stood apart.

He wanted to grieve with them. He wanted to be able to
let himself out. But more than anything, he wanted to
pull Willow from their arms and take her away.

But he merely stood, unable even to watch.

Xander and Buffy murmured their love and awkward
assurances. Finally, Willow sniffled and pulled back a
little from their embrace.

"Y-you don't have to fuss over me," she said softly.

Giles' heart, already broken, fell. He turned and
quickly looked at her. Had it only been hours ago
that she'd uttered those same words to him? Was it
only hours before that there was still a future?
When possibility and hope still lived?

Willow saw Giles' expression and knew he was
remembering the same moment. A moment when
they'd shared something, something that could never be.

She smiled wanly, an act of comfort.

Giles frowned suddenly and stuttered a hasty excuse
about searching for a volume upstairs.

Willow watched him leave and felt her heart sink. She
needed him, more now than ever, and certainly more
than he would ever know.

Xander wiped his eyes and looked at Willow pleadingly.
"Tell me what to do," he said. "I don't know what to do."

Willow took his hand. "You're doin' it."

"There's got to be something," Buffy said. "I mean,
you're here. There's gotta be a reason, right?"

Willow nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah."

"Can't we just be happy she is?" Xander asked,
knowing full well they couldn't. "Maybe for once,
something good happened and Wills is just here.
No reason."

Buffy frowned. She wanted that to be true more
than anything, but she also knew that things, especially
here, didn't work that way. Nothing's ever that simple.

Willow's brow furrowed in thought. "I need to know,"
she said finally.

Xander frowned, but nodded.

"Giles'll figure it out," Buffy said. "It's what he does."

Willow smiled, the first genuine smile in a long time.
"Yeah."

Buffy started to get up. "I'll go see what's taking him
so long."

"I'll do it," Xander said as he stood. "I need to...
you know," he added with a sad nod of the head
up the stairs. They both knew he needed to apologize
for his outburst and it would be easier to do alone.

"Thanks," Willow said warmly.

Xander nodded and headed up the stairs. The door
to Giles' bedroom was slightly ajar and Xander paused
on the landing to try to figure out just how to say he
was sorry. That's when he heard it.

It was a sound that came from the depths of man's soul.
A strangled sob, no more than a whisper, and yet it
rang in his ears louder than any scream he'd ever heard.

Almost afraid to look, Xander peered through the crack
in the doorway.

Giles was sitting on the end of his bed. His back was
hunched over as he rested his elbows on his knees,
his head cradled in his hands. Giles' broad back shook
with the effort to keep his pain from coming out in a
torrent. His hands shook as he dug his fingers into his
temples. His breath came in ragged chorus of sorrow.

Xander stood, stunned for a moment, awash with
emotions. Finally, he looked away, feeling not just ashamed
for the things he'd said, but now for the things he'd seen.
It was difficult enough to see another man so vulnerable,
but to see Giles... so broken... it was terrifying.

Finally, Xander gathered himself and stepped back
away from the door. He waited there for a few moments,
before knocking loudly and calling out. "Giles? You in there?"

He heard Giles clear his throat a few times. "Y-yes..
C-come in."

Xander pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Giles had his back to the door and was wiping his eyes with
his handkerchief. "S-some of the.... of the books are quite..
dusty I'm afraid."

Xander nodded. "Yeah."

Giles cleared his throat again and stuffed the handkerchief
back into his pocket. "Th-that volume m-must be
downstairs."

"We'll find it," Xander said.

Giles . "Yes"

They both stood in an awkward silence for a
moment, before Xander finally broke it. "I.. I just
wanted to... downstairs, what I said... I.. you know
I didn't mean that?"

Giles took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes.. I'm
sorry I... " he said shaking his head. "I was out of line."

Xander sighed and then looked at Giles with earnest
regret. "It was my fault... It's just... Are we okay?
Cause I *really* need something to be okay."

Giles stepped forward and put his hand on Xander's
shoulder. "I know the feeling."

Xander smiled sadly and nodded. He coughed to
shake the lump from his throat. "We can do this, right?"

"It seems we have little choice," Giles said sadly.

Xander took a deep breath. "Yeah." He shook his head
and looked up at Giles. "I'm just not ready to let her go."

Giles' frown deepened. "I know," he whispered, leaving
unsaid how true those words were. He took another
deep breath and gathered himself. He gave Xander's
shoulder a reassuring squeeze and then let go.

"Yeah," Xander said. "We should get back down there."

Giles nodded, but neither moved for a moment. Both
lost in their own thoughts before Xander looked to
Giles. Grim determination covered both their faces...
to help Willow .. and somehow to find the strength to
face the darkness that was days to come.


Part Nine

Giles slowly descended the stairs with Xander not far behind.
He gripped the banister with the effort to maintain his
composure.

He found himself unable to look at Willow, but all his senses
were still attuned to her. He could hear her soft voice, feel her
presence in his home as he always had. There was something
about her that lit a room. He'd always suspected it was her soul,
and now he was sure of it.

"Did you find the book?" Buffy asked as Xander took his place
next to Willow.

Giles rubbed his forehead. "Hmmm?"

"The book, you know, the one you were looking for?" Buffy
prompted.

"Oh, the book... n-no, it must be here somewhere," Giles said
distractedly as tried to focus. "Uhm... Greywall's Theories on
Quietus..."

"Oh, I think it's over there," Willow said.

Giles turned but still couldn't quite bring himself to look at her.
He was sure he would lose what little control he had if he did. He
kept his body angled away from her as he walked to another
set of bookshelves. "O-over here?" he asked.

Willow's face fell and she tried not to be hurt by Giles' unease
with her, but her hands trembled and she clasped them more
tightly in her lap. "Yeah.. over by the Disreali Codex?"

"Ah," Giles said with forced control. "Yes, yes.. here it is."

He pulled the book from the shelf and immediately immersed
himself in the pages.

Willow watched him for a moment and then looked at Xander.
Was she so wretched that no one could bear to look at her?

Xander managed a wan smile for her and covered her hands
with his. "So, what's it say?" he asked still looking at his best
friend.

"There does seem to be one distinct possibility," Giles said softly
as he read the passages to himself. The others waited patiently
for a few minutes before Willow broke the silence.

"Giles?"

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and summoned the courage
to look at her. He'd convinced himself that somehow in her
eyes he'd see accusation, even condemnation.

He'd long ago secretly appointed himself as her protector, and his
failure couldn't be more miserable or more complete. He expected
to see hurt and disappointment and steeled himself for it.

But when he looked up, he saw none of those things. Only trust.
And it was more painful than any reproach. At once a reminder of
something he didn't deserve and something he would never have a
chance to earn again.

He looked at her blankly, as all of his emotions collided. Like colors on
parchment, a multitude converging until it was black.

She cocked her head to the side. "Giles?" she asked again.

He blinked several times before regaining himself. "Yes," he said
finally. "Yes... uhm.." He cleared his throat and read from the book.

"A bound spirit. In rare instances, soul is given corporeal form after
death. The spirit is confined until such time as quietus is achieved.
A key element in the subject's life or the need for resolution of an
untimely and often violent death is often the cause. Once the burden
is lifted... the soul is freed," he finished in a whisper.

The group sat in silence. Xander wracked his brain trying to find a
loophole, sure there was someway to keep Willow here. Buffy
tried to find some inner reserve of strength, something that would
help her say good-bye to another loved one.

While Giles stared down at the words on the page. Desperate
for something, anything, to do for her.. He ran the words over
and over in his mind... "once the burden is lifted.. the soul is
freed." If he knew nothing else, he knew that he would move heaven
and earth to ease her burden.

Willow stared at the book in Giles' hands. She was still afraid, of
what was to come, but for the first time in far too long, she felt
a sense of direction. She'd been given a second chance.. she
wouldn't waste it.

Buffy frowned. She was the Slayer, they needed her to be strong,
and in control. She pursed her lips and stood up. "So, lemme get
this straight. Somehow, Willow's here to finish something...
something left undone?"

Giles pulled off his glasses and pinched the earpiece between his
fingers. He stared down at them. "Possibly."

"Okay," Buffy said, reasoning it out. "So she does... whatever it
is... and is... freed?"

Giles frowned and put his glasses back on. "Yes."

Buffy turned to Willow. "Wills? What do you think it is? I mean,
that you're supposed to do."

"I.. I don't know... I didn't finish my summer reading list, but somehow
I don't think that's it," she said with a nervous laugh.

"Wait a minute," Xander said as he got to his feet. "If Willow is...
you know... released.. or whatever," he added quickly. "When she
finishes this unfinished deal... Then what if she *never* finishes it."

Giles shook his head. "I'm not sure I follow you..."

Xander's voice rose as his excitement grew. "If finishing this business
sends her away.. then maybe if she never finishes it.. she never leaves."

Giles frowned. He'd do anything to keep Willow by his side, but
was it the right thing to do? Was it for his comfort or hers?
"I.. I don't think..."

"But it's possible!" Xander said. "It makes sense.. and there's nothing
in there about any sort time limits or anything, right?"

"No," Giles said carefully.

"Well, then.. we just figure out what it is you're supposed to do and
then make sure you don't do it... Then you get to stay!"

Willow frowned. "I don't think it works like that."

"It could though, right?" Xander said hopefully.

Willow considered what he'd said. "It's possible, but-"

"Then that's what we do!" Xander said firmly and then turned
to the others. "Right?"

"I'm afraid, I don't think it's that simple," Giles said as he closed
the book.

"Maybe it is... maybe we make all this stuff more complicated,"
Xander said. "Did you ever think about that? What if it is simple?"

"Regardless," Giles said as he stood and walked to the fireplace. Xander's
line of thinking was far too tempting. Perhaps they could circumvent
whatever task Willow was to perform, part of his mind whispered. But
the better half of him knew, there would be an equal price to pay
for such selfishness. "We need to discern what .. W-Willow's
unfinished business involves."

Buffy frowned. "The book said something about.. untimely... deaths,
didn't it?"

"Y-yes," Giles said as he turned to look at her. His eyes narrowed in
thought. "Yes, it did. And... a needed resolution."

"Lemme see this thing," Xander said sharply as grabbed the book.

"Xander," Buffy warned.

"Clearly," Giles said with forced calm. "There needs to be some sort
act that requires completion."

While the others were studying the book, Willow stood up walked over
to the bookcase and pulled out the stolen police file. She turned back
to them, holding the folder. "I think an unsolved murder qualifies."

Giles clenched his fists and took a steadying breath. He glared at
the damn folder. It was no longer just an affront, it was something
unbearable. The murdered girl wasn't a stranger anymore. It was
Willow.

"Maybe... " Willow said thoughtfully as she looked down at the bland
manila folder. "Maybe I'm here to help... catch whoever did this."

"Th-that is a possibility," Giles said.

Xander jumped up excitedly. "If that's it, then all we
have to do is nothing."

"I.. I can't do that, Xander," Willow said.

"Yes, you can," he countered. "Doing nothing is exactly what you're
gonna do. That way you stay... and everything is as it should be."

Willow touched Xander's arm and waited until he looked at her. "No,
it isn't."

He shook his head, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "You're here.
You're supposed to be here."

"I'm here for a reason... I don't know what it is.. maybe it's this... but
I've been given a gift, Xander... It's a pretty freaky gift," she said
softly and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt a growing sense of
resolve, of conviction to a cause. "But somebody's giving
me a chance to be here... for a while... to do something... it's
gotta be important."

Xander frowned. "I want you to stay."

"I do too," she said. "But I'm not sure I should."

Willow looked to Buffy for support and understanding. "I'll
do whatever what you want, Wills."

Willow nodded. Buffy knew better than any of them that the
Powers That Be and Destiny did things for a reason, even if
they couldn't understand it.

"Even if I'm here for something else, I can help catch this guy,"
Willow said finally.

"Willow-" Xander started.

"We fight the bad guys, right? And... this guy.. is..." her voice
faltered for a second.. "A very, bad guy."

Xander gritted his teeth and thrust his hands onto his hips. "I
don't care."

Willow looked at him sadly. "Yes, you do... If there's something
I can do to stop this guy from... doing it again.. then I have to."

"No, you don't..." Xander pleaded.

Willow shook her head. "Maybe that's why I'm here. To save
someone's life... that's a good reason, isn't it?" she asked
hopefully.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah.. yeah, it is."

Giles stood silently over by the fireplace, letting the beginnings
of something dark fester deep inside of him. The lost and out
of control feelings he'd been fighting began to ebb... a sense
of purpose, cold and unyielding, began to form in the pit of his
stomach.

"I wish I could remember more, "Willow said. "I... all I can... I was
driving back from getting the crossbow bolts..."

Giles clenched his jaw. He'd sent her on that errand.

"... and then it's all kind of fuzzy... The next thing I remember is that
field of wildflowers," she said with a smile. "And you guys all thought
I was nuts cause..."

Her voice trailed off and she bit her lower lip in thought. "Maybe
they weren't there... or were... sort of there.. like another place...
like heaven," Willow whispered. It was an absurd thing to say and yet,
it felt somehow right. ".. maybe.. or.. or like the... " she frowned as
she tried to find the words.

"The Elysian Fields," Giles finished for her.

Willow's face lit up. "Yes!" Then she blushed. "But not really, cause
I'm not exactly a warrior chosen by the Gods sort of person."

Buffy took her hand and smiled. "Yeah, you are."

Willow smiled in thanks and then sighed. "But that doesn't really help,
does it? I mean, it is kind of wow.. heaven.. but..." Her voice trailed
off and she frowned. She looked down at the police folder. "Maybe if
I look through this, I'll remember..."

Buffy shook her head. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"But I'm an eye witness and I can't even remember what I witnessed
with my own eyes," Willow protested.

"I know," Buffy said. "But..."

"This is nuts," Xander grunted.

Buffy sighed and looked to Giles for help. He kept his gaze down,
but she could see the anger in the set of his jaw. "I wish you wouldn't,"
he said softly.

"I know," Willow answered gently. "But if it were any of you...
any of you... you'd feel the same way I do."

No one had an answer to that and Willow nodded to herself. She took a
deep breath and looked down at the folder. Slowly, she sat back
down on the sofa and Buffy took her place by her side.

Buffy tried to keep fresh tears from spilling down her cheeks, while
Xander grunted and stalked across the room.

Willow chewed on her lip and carefully opened the file. "Ohhh," she
whispered in shock. Her face paled and she moved her head
away, but kept her eyes fixed on the graphic photo.

Giles swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat and brought a
trembling, clenched hand to his mouth. He rubbed his knuckles roughly
across his upper lip as he fought to keep himself from ripping the
offending pictures away from her.

Another sound of anguish slipped from Willow's throat and Giles felt
his stomach lurch.

"You don't have to do this," Buffy said, her own voice strained and
breaking.

Willow blinked rapidly and pulled in a ragged breath. She took another
shaky breath and looked at the next photo. "Ohhh," she shuddered and
then shook violently for a brief second. The file fell from her hands.

"Jesus!" Xander cried and strode to her side. "Are you happy now?"

"Xander," Giles growled. He looked at Willow and could feel his own
body trembling with the need to comfort her.

Xander snapped his head up and glared at Giles, but the pain he
saw forced him to bite his tongue.

Buffy quickly pushed the pictures back into the folder. "Willow? Y-you
okay?"

Willow's jaw shook, but she nodded quickly. "I... I remember," she
whispered.

"You do?" Buffy asked breathlessly and then looked anxiously at Giles
for guidance. He didn't look at his Slayer, unable to break away from
Willow even for a moment.

Willow nodded again and closed her eyes. She took a long shuddering
breath and forced herself to center. Finally, she seemed to have
control. "I was driving along Stillwell Road and I saw a car pulled
over... There was a girl and she was arguing with some man... I saw
him push her..."

Xander clenched his jaw and looked plaintively at Buffy.

Willow squinted as she tried to see the images more clearly. "I pulled
off.... I was afraid he was gonna hurt her." She frowned and looked
up Giles.

His face was a mask of pain and all he could manage was a curt
nod of acknowledgment.

Willow looked down at her hands and continued. "I walked over.. it
was all sunny... so I didn't think vampire or anything... just human,"
she added sadly. "And.. and he was yelling something.. I don't
remember what.. but he was really angry... and it didn't make any
sense... I started to say something and then she screamed and he
turned around really fast..." She closed her eyes for a moment as
she recalled the details. The scene played in her mind like a surreal
movie, and with each passing frame she felt further and further
removed from it. "I can see his eyes.... pale blue... but sort
of not right... and then he...." Her voice wavered, but she let out
a quick breath. "... and then he had something in his hand... long
and metal... and he hit me with it."

"Wills," Buffy gasped.

"Don't do this," Xander begged.

".. and I remember being so surprised," she said with a nervous laugh.
"And it didn't really hurt, I don't think anyway.. I must have fallen down..
cause I remember seeing the sky.. then it's kind of blurry... I think I
screamed.. no, the other girl screamed... and then I saw him looking
down at me... and.. it was a tire iron," she said firmly. "That's what
he had in his hand.. I saw it coming down at me again..."

Giles closed his eyes and the images from the crime scene phots
came unbidden. He swallowed hard and clenched his fists.

"...And then the next thing I know.. I'm standing up looking out at
the field of wildflowers.... They were so beautiful.. I wanted to go
out and... but there wasn't time... I kept thinking.. there isn't enough
time... I guess I figured I had to get back here.. cause Giles was
waiting for me."

Giles couldn't keep the moan of anguish from escaping his
lips.

"I mean.. for the crossbow bolts," Willow added quickly.

The room was shrouded in silence for a long moment. The truth
of their situation simply too much to bear.

Buffy wiped away the tears she'd been crying since Willow began
her story and gripped Willow's hand. "We'll find him," she promised
grimly.

"No, we won't," Xander ground out.

Willow and Buffy looked at him and he shook his head. "The book didn't
say she had to... and if not finding this guy is the price we have to pay
to keep Willow here..."

"Xander," Willow said quietly.

"No," he ground out.

Giles ignored the argument. He was busy making plans of his own. He
rolled his neck from the tension and walked into the kitchen.

"Willow wants to do this," Buffy said.

"I know that!" Xander said tightly. "I.. I'm just saying we should
consider... other options."

Willow sighed and stood up. She walked over to where Giles had been
standing by the fireplace. Didn't he know how much she needed him?
And then suddenly it occurred to her, maybe he didn't know... and there
wasn't much time left to tell him.

She listened to her two best friends argue for a few minutes, and
then quietly walked into the kitchen.

Giles was standing facing the sink, his hands gripping the counter's
edge so tightly his knuckles were white from the strain.

Summoning her courage, Willow walked up behind him and reached
to put her small hand on his back. "Giles?"

With a grunt of anger, he spun around and glared at her. It seemed
to take him a minute to even recognize who she was. His face was
twisted and his eyes were burning like fire. He let out a sharp breath
and frowned.

"I'm s-sorry," Willow said softly. "I..."

Giles let out another, longer breath and forced the down the dark
thoughts he harbored.

She looked at him with concern and compassion, and even a touch
of fear. He felt his hands begin to tremble, but not as they had before.
Not with helplessness, but with rage.

It had started slowly, just an ember. But as she told her story, the fires
had been stoked, until nothing less would do. He would find the creature
that did this... and kill him with his bare hands.

Willow watched him closely. She could see the full play of emotions
on his usually controlled face. She'd seen enough hatred in her
short life to recognize the signs. She shook her head slowly, her eyes
pleading for him to understand. "Don't," she said simply. "Please."

Giles clenched his jaw as the power of her gentle spirit collided with
the wretched images he'd been playing in his mind. She was far too
good to see the cold truth.. This man deserved to die for what he'd
done.. for what he'd taken... and if Giles could help release her
burden, he would do it at any cost... even that of his own soul.

"Please," she said again, more urgently. "I don't want anyone else
hurt because of me."

"Willow," Giles rasped. He sighed heavily and looked down into
her beautiful green eyes. "Don't worry."

Willow smiled in relief. "Good." She looked down shyly at her hands.
"Good.." she repeated.... "Cause there's.. there's something .. I don't
know how long I'll be here..."

"Willow-"

"No, I... there's something you should know," she said softly gazing
up into his eyes.

But before she could get any further the phone rang. They both
looked at it and then back to each other. It rang again and Buffy
answered it loudly, successfully breaking the moment.

Buffy covered the mouthpiece. "It's Willy," she said and then listened.
Xander came up behind her, still brooding.

Buffy listened impatiently. "I don't care who else you have to call or
what ratty things you have do... Is he there?" she bit out. Her face
darkened as she listened. "We'll be right there. Do *not* let him
leave," she said and then hung up the phone.

Buffy turned to Willow, her expression softening. "He said... that the
guy we're looking for might be at the bar."

Giles nodded tightly, his face cold and composed again.

"I-is he sure?" Willow asked.

Buffy shook her head. "I don't know... w-would you recognize
him?"

Willow's brow furrowed and she nodded slowly.

Xander grunted. "She's not going."

"Stop it," Giles barked.

Willow let out a small breath.

"You sure you want to do this?" Buffy asked.

Willow nodded. "Yes."

"Okay," Buffy said with authority. "We'd better hurry then. I don't how
long Willy's gonna keep the guy there."

"I don't want to do this," Xander ground out.

"Then you can you stay here," Giles said tightly as he passed through
the kitchen door. He turned and waited for Willow.

She paused looking at her family and then walked out of the kitchen.
"Let's go," she said.

Xander scowled but took Willow's hand. She smiled at him and together
they walked to the front door.

Buffy started to follow, but Giles put his hand on her shoulder to stop
her.

"What?" she asked.

Giles lowered his voice. "If this is the one... when the time comes...
I'll take care him."

Buffy frowned. "We're just catching the guy..."

"And leave Willow's fate in the hands of the system?" he snorted.
"No."

"Giles... we can't... I mean... it's murder, isn't it? I don't think I can."

Giles took off his glasses and looked at the lenses for a moment.
"I can," he said calmly. And with that he put his glasses back on
and walked away.

Part Ten

They parked down the street from the bar and made
their way up the block. The seedy section of town
seemed harsher than usual under night's slim crescent
moon. Dark, dirty alleys harbored caged windows and
bolted doors. The four companions walked quietly
through the night, each lost in their own darkness.

Buffy and Xander flanked Willow, each holding a hand
as they walked what felt like their last mile. Giles
lingered a few steps behind, his mind racing with the
speed of a runaway train, hell-bent and deadly. But
try as he might, he couldn't quiet his heart. Each
beat seemed to break it that much further. And
so, cold and detached was the avenger; hot and
passionate was the lover. The two halves of him that
could never be a whole again.

They reached the nondescript metal door of Willy's bar
and paused as one.

Willow let out a long breath. Xander frowned and
pulled away from her. "I.. I can't do this," he said.

Buffy stepped toward him. "Xander-"

"No.. I... I.. what if this is it?" he said shaking
his head plaintively. He looked at Willow, his eyes
brimming with tears. "I'm not ready to say good-bye,"
he whispered, looking so much like the boy she knew in
the beginning.

Willow smiled softly. As the others had felt more
desperate on their journey, Willow had a growing sense
of peace, a strange sort of calm.

"Then don't say it," Willow said gently.

"But..."

"I know this isn't gonna make any sense, but..."
Willow continued and turned to include Buffy and
Giles. "But... I don't think this is the end.. not the
real end... I mean," she closed her eyes for a moment.
"I can feel it.. something... there's something else..
something next... I can't explain it."

"Willow," Buffy said. "I want to believe you."

"Then do," Willow said easily and then smiled again.
"I know I'll see you guys again.. somewhere...."

"Wills," Xander rasped, unwilling to accept it so
easily.

"You have to trust me on this," she said to him and
then turned to Giles. "I'll be there... waiting for
you," she said softly. Then she looked at Buffy and
cocked her head to the side and looked stern. "But
don't hurry, k?"

Buffy smiled through her tears and hugged Willow for
all she was worth.

Xander let out a sob and stepped forward, grabbing a
fistful of Giles sweater, and pulled them all into an
embrace.

Far too quickly, the moment was broken as a large
demon pushed open the door to Willy's and stepped out.

Giles was the first to regain himself and cleared his
throat as he nudged the others to be on guard.

The big Morder demon growled its disdain for the
humans, sniffed the air, and growled again. Even
though there was a no fighting-no eating rule at the
bar, it never paid to let your guard down. Buffy was
instantly in a defensive posture followed slowly by
the others, but the Morder merely grunted and
moved on down the street.

The immediate threat had passed, but so had the brief
moment of comfort. Each looked uneasily at the other,
wondering if this were the last time they'd all be
together.

Finally, Buffy took charge. Hard experience had taught
her to temper her emotions at times of crisis and she
shifted from friend to Slayer. "All right. I can't go inside
without drawing too much attention... so Xander.. you
and Wills go in. Don't do anything, just keep a low profile,
see if you...you know..." she sighed sadly and then screwed
back on her Slayer control. "See if he's in there... If he
is... You flush him out, okay?"

Xander scowled and thought about protesting again, but
Willow's soft hand in his silenced him. He clenched
his jaw and nodded.

Buffy gave him a curt nod and turned to Giles. "You
wait out here, I'll cover the back. When he comes
out," she said and then narrowed her eyes
meaningfully. "You call me."

Giles' eyes were like steel, cold and hard. Buffy
arched an eyebrow, and Giles eased his countenance. He
nodded once in apparent agreement.

"Okay," Buffy said and then turned back to Willow. She
opened her mouth to say something, but no words came
out. Instead, she reached out and took Willow's free
hand. She felt her resolve slipping and frowned for a moment
before she managed a small forlorn smile. "I guess I'll
see ya when I see ya, huh?"

Willow nodded, her chin quivering. "Be careful, okay?"

Buffy stared at Willow for a long moment and then
jumped forward and pulled her into a fierce hug. Just
as quickly as she begun, Buffy moved back and turned
away. She hurried down the alley to the back door.

Giles watched Willow look down the now empty street
and felt his anger slowly being drowned by waves of
regret. Here was his final chance. The last time he
could touch her. The last time he could hold her. The
last time he could let the truth be spoken.

Willow turned away from the direction Buffy had left
and gazed up at Giles. Xander took a step back, giving
them a modicum of privacy.

Each afraid to move, afraid to speak, they stood in
silence just a few feet separating them. And with each
passing moment, Giles could feel cracks in the walls
he'd so carefully built around himself grow.

Like a great building of ages past, he began to
crumble. Bits of facade slipped from the surface and
fell to the ground. Each missing piece left him raw
and vulnerable.

Finally, when the words not spoken were too much to
bear, Giles looked down and closed his eyes. He knew
he had to say something, but anything other than
telling her how much he loved her was utterly
meaningless. And yet, the words wouldn't come. Even
the thought of them taunted him. No more than echoes
of a past that never was.

Silently, he berated himself for his selfishness. She
needed him to be strong. She needed him to support
her, not to bemoan his own follies.

"W-Willow," he rasped slowly, haltingly. He stopped
and frowned deeply. He forced a comforting smile to
his face.

Willow watched his struggle and recognized his innate
need to make whatever trials she was to face easier.

She shook her head to cut off his efforts. She looked
at him, and if it were possible, loved him more in
that moment than ever before. She smiled tenderly and
blinked back her tears. As much as she wanted to,
needed to, tell him how she really felt, she wouldn't
add to his burdens with her confession of unrequited
love.

She knew, that in a way, he would always blame himself
for her death. She wasn't about to make him feel that
he'd disappointed her in life as well. He'd done so
much for her, more than he would ever know, and she
could do this last thing for him.

She gazed into his eyes, one more time, swallowed down
the tears that threatened to overwhelm her and took a
deep breath.

"Thank you," she whispered, hoping somehow he knew how
much lay in those two simple words.

He frowned and started to protest, but Willow just
smiled one more time. She reached out tentatively and
touched his chest lightly. She ducked her head and
then turned away. Unable to stay another minute, she
pulled open the front door to the bar and stepped inside.

Caught off guard, Xander looked at Giles in a panic.
But Giles never met his eyes, his gaze fixed on the
slowly closing door.

Quickly regaining himself, Xander followed her inside,
leaving Giles alone in the cool night air.

He watched the heavy metal door close and shut his
eyes as he heard it come to rest with a solid thud.
Was he a coward or a hero for not telling her? He
opened his eyes and pushed the question away. It
didn't matter now. That part of his life was over.

And with the finality of that thought, Giles put the
better part of himself on a shelf. He leaned
against the cold stone of the building and let the
hardness of it seep into his heart.

The rage he'd lost when he gazed into Willow's eyes
began to return. Slowly, and steadily, it
flared to life again. And now he willingly stoked the
fire. Urging dark thoughts and clinging to the one
task he had before him. The one thing that still gave
him purpose.

He'd failed at everything else, but not this. This man,
this thing that had taken her from... he would die.

*****

Willow stepped into the smoky bar, hurrying to run
from feelings for Giles that she couldn't afford now.
She'd barely taken two steps inside when she felt
someone grasp her hand. She turned in a panic and
then heaved a sigh of relief when she saw Xander at
her side.

She knew it was foolish to be afraid, after all, what
could any of these demons do to her now.. but old
habits were hard to break.

Xander tugged on her hand and led her to the back wall
of the club. The room was fairly crowded. Even though
there were humans scattered amongst the crowd, Willow
and Xander didn't exactly look like regular patrons
and so they hung to the periphery, trying to keep as
low a profile as possible.

Xander pulled Willow tightly to his side and leaned
in. "It's not too late, Wills. Come on.. let's just
go," he whispered.

Willow smiled sadly and shook her head. "Xander," she
said sadly.

He sighed heavily and frowned as Willow turned her
gaze to the bar where Willy was serving drinks. After
a long moment, Willy felt her watching him and
looked in her direction. His eyes went wide with
surprise and then scanned the bar quickly looking for
Buffy. When he didn't see her, he visibly relaxed and
tossed his head to the side, indicating the stool at
the end of the counter.

Sitting on the chair was a human. From the back, he
looked like any other man, mid-thirties, brown hair,
the very definition of nondescript.

Willow frowned. From this far away and from behind,
she couldn't tell if he was the one.

"That him?" Xander asked in a strained voice, his hand
squeezing hers tightly, as if he could keep her there
just by the sheer force of his will.

Willow bit her lip and shook her head. "I... I
don't--"

Just then, he turned around. Still average in
appearance, save for one feature. His eyes. There was
something unnerving, something so very wrong about
them. A indecent sort of madness lit them.

The man looked straight at her. Willow's breath
caught, and she froze in place.

He didn't seem to even recognize her at first, but
slowly it dawned and his eyes went wide with surprise
and fear. He stumbled off his chair, knocking into a
large vampire who snarled fiercely at the
interruption.

Willow's heart was pounding so furiously, she could
barely catch her breath. But somehow, just as the man
reached the front door, she managed to call out, "It's
him!"

She tried to rush after him, but Xander's strong arms
held her back.

Everything happened so quickly then. Almost at once,
Giles saw the door open, the man rush out and heard
Willow's cry.

Without a moment's hesitation, Giles was on the hunt.
The man ran at a breakneck pace, spurred on by fear
and adrenaline. But Giles was not far behind and had
no intention of losing.

Their hurtling footsteps echoed down the alley,
and Buffy looked over in time to see the man and then
quickly behind, Giles run down the street.

Swearing under her breath, she took off after them.

Within half a block, she caught up with Giles and
grabbed him from behind. "What the hell are you
doing?" she yelled.

"Let go of me," he growled, as he strained in her iron
grip.

"Giles," Buffy said angrily.

His chest heaved with exertion, and he craned his neck
to see the man getting further and further away. Buffy
would be able to catch him, but Giles wanted to do
this. He had to do this... it felt like all he had
left to give.

He looked back at Buffy, the fire in his eyes suddenly
coupled with desperation. "Please?" he begged.

She knew it was wrong. She knew she would have to
live with her decision, just as Giles would have to live
with blood on his hands. But somehow, the pleading in
his voice, the pain in his eyes overwhelmed her good judgment,
and she let go.

Without another word, Giles took off at a run again,
but the street was empty and eerily silent. He skidded to a
halt and spun around glared at Buffy accusingly.

She lifted her hand in a gesture to silence him. "He
couldn't have gone far. We'll find him," she said.

Together they hurried in the direction they'd last
seen him going. They hadn't gone far when they heard
noises coming from a nearby alley.

They ran around the corner and then stopped dead
in their tracks. It was the man they were chasing, but
he wasn't alone.

His feet were dangling above the ground, and his neck
was caught in the vice grip of the large Morder demon.

"Let him go," Buffy ordered.

The Morder cocked its big head to the side and then
looked back at the human in his grip.

Giles started to lunge forward, but Buffy gripped his
arm and held him back. "Give him to me," Giles roared.

The Morder ignored them both and placed his free hand
on top of the man's skull. As easily as popping a
grape, he squeezed and the man's head imploded.

"No!" Giles cried out. His body shook with unreleased
anger as he glared at the demon who had stolen his
revenge. He clenched his fists and leaned forward.
The anger and need for vengeance still coursed through
his system like a red tide. In an instant his final
purpose was no more.

The Morder grunted and summarily dropped the limp body
of the man to the pavement. He sneered down at the dead
man and then turned to face Buffy. "Slayer."

She quickly recovered from witnessing the gruesome
scene and took a defensive posture. She eyed the demon
carefully. It was her duty to kill creatures like him,
but he'd done her a great favor by saving Giles from
himself. And she couldn't quite bring herself to kill
him.

She opened her mouth to tell him that she wasn't going
to fight, when she suddenly realized something. "Oh,
my god.. Willow."

Giles jerked his head up.

"What if..." Buffy gasped as she pointed to the dead
man. "What if she's..."

Giles heart raced again. He'd been so consumed with
killing, he'd practically ignored what would result. Once the
murderer was killed, Willow would be freed... He'd
known that would be the outcome. He'd done this to help
her be released, but now that the moment was upon him,
he felt a rising swell of panic.

Without another word, they both turned and ran back
toward the bar, hoping against hope that somehow she
would still be there.

They ran, hearts in their throats, desperate for
a miracle.

The Morder demon watched them leave and then walked
slowly toward the dark shadows at the end of the
alley. "They left without battle. Just as you said."

Ethan stepped out into the silvery light and released
the breath he'd been holding. He reached into his coat
pocket and took out an envelope of payment and handed
it to the Morder.

"Why do you do this?" the demon asked as he counted
his money.

Ethan frowned and shrugged. He looked down the alley
to the empty street and sighed. "I was just wondering
the same thing myself."

Part Eleven

The street seemed to stretch out in front him. The edges
of his vision blurred into darkness. The crooked streetlamp
that marked the front of Willy's bar flickered in the distance
and Giles ran faster.

Abruptly, Buffy, who had passed him at some point, stopped
dead in her tracks. Giles felt his legs turn to lead as he saw
what had caused her to stop.

Xander was outside the bar, leaning against the wall, both
hands splayed out holding his weight, his head hanging
down.

"X-Xander," Buffy asked tentatively.

He lifted his head and turned to face her. Out of the shadow
he'd cast, stepped Willow.

"Oh my God," Buffy cried and ran toward her. "Y-you're still
here," she stuttered. She pulled Willow into tight hug. "You're
still here."

"What happened?" Xander asked. "I kept her here... We thought
you..."

Buffy finally pulled away from Willow, tears streaming down
her face. "We did... I mean, we were..."

Willow looked anxiously over at Giles, who hadn't moved since
she'd appeared. He stood under the flickering light, unable to
still his raging heart.

"What about the guy?" Xander asked. "Did he get away?"

Buffy shook her head. "Demon... killed him," she said as she
looked at Willow who had slowly begun to walk to Giles.

"He's dead?" Xander said with growing excitement. "You mean
it worked? She... she gets to stay?"

"I guess so," Buffy said distractedly.

"Oh yeah!" Xander said happily as he pulled Buffy into a big
hug. "And you guys laughed at the Xander plan!"

Giles stood speechless as Willow drew closer. His chest was
still heaving from exertion and emotion, his face wet
with tears.

Willow looked up at the man she'd known for so many years
and saw him for the first time. Everything he felt, everything he
wanted, was written on his face. All her questions were answered
in that one moment. No fantasy, no dream had ever held such
emotion...

How she'd wished to see that look in his eyes. His love for her
was so strong and so beautiful. Her breath caught as the realization
dawned.

She took a few more steps toward him and could feel his love
like the warmth from a hearth fire as she neared.

And Willow smiled at the power and the beauty in it, her love
was finally freed too.

Giles watched her approach, still trying to believe she was truly
there. He'd let all his barriers fall away, everything in him was
laid bare for her to see.

He let out a quick, sharp breath. It was too much to hope for,
but there was no more denial, no room for rationalization... There
was only this moment.. and the truth that it held. Willow loved him.

There in the silence, in the dead of night, they finally found
each other.

Willow reached out to wipe a tear from his cheek. Giles caught
her hand and pressed it tightly to his face. He stared down at
her. Every nuance, every facet of her eyes beguiling his soul.

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her open palm.

"I told you!" Xander called out happily as he and Buffy moved
to join them. "Unfinished business is finished, but the Willow
remains."

Willow's smiled faltered and a small thoughtful look took
its place. Giles tightened his grip on her hand and tilted
his head to the side in silent question. Willow's smile returned,
but her eyes held a new sadness. She finally knew what
it was she needed to do.

Giles frowned for a moment until he realized what had
had happened. He started to say something, but Willow
shook her head and beat back her worries. He loved her
and that was enough. She buried her sadness and let
her love for him shine again.

Giles didn't know what to feel. He'd found love only to have
it taken in the same moment? He would have her love, but
not her.

What had been so pure became bittersweet, a love realized,
but that couldn't be.

"I can't believe that's finally over," Xander said barely able to
contain his happiness.

Buffy frowned and looked from Willow to Giles and back again.
"I'm not sure it is."

She'd always sensed stronger feelings between the two. Willow
had as much as admitted how she felt about him and Giles... He'd
done his best to hide his feelings, but there times when Buffy
thought she saw something in his eyes when he looked at Willow.
And now, it was as clear as day.

"Whaddya mean?" Xander asked. "Bad guy got what was coming
to him... Willow didn't poof... It's all of the done."

Willow's chin trembled slightly and Giles took a small step closer
to her.

Buffy sighed solemnly. She'd never seen anyone so happy
and so sad at the same time. "I don't think that was it," she
said turning to Xander. "There might be something else.
Something more important."

"What could possibly be more important than getting that guy?"

Willow smiled knowingly at Giles and he felt his heart ache
at the beauty in it. He knew the price was she about to pay,
was willing to pay, to say what was in her heart.

Xander frowned as the others didn't answer his question.
He looked at Willow, who was still gazing at Giles and he
felt his chest tighten. "Somebody tell me what's going on."

Willow looked at Giles questioningly, who nodded his agreement.
Reluctantly, she squeezed his hand, released it and turned to
Xander.

Sensing what was at hand, and yet not ready to accept it, Xander
clung to his denial. "Tell me we can all just go home."

Willow shook her head sadly.

Xander felt his world slipping away. "Willow--"

"I'm gonna miss you," she said with a quivering smile.

"Don't do it," he urged her. "Stay."

She took his hand in both of hers.

"I love you, Wills," he rasped.

"I love you too," she said and then looked at Buffy taking her
hand. "Both of you.. You're my bestest buds... and I don't know
how or when.. but I do know this isn't about endings.. it's about
beginnings... and that's kind of beautiful, right? It was never
about hating.. or killing... it was about something wonderful... It
was about..." Her voice trailed off as she was swept away by
the emotion.

"About love," Giles said, his voice surprisingly strong and sure.

Willow looked over at him and smiled and nodded. "Yeah." Then
she turned back to Buffy and Xander and hugged them both before
stepping back to Giles.

He ran his hands up her arms and let his eyes caress her face.
"I've been such a fool... All the time I wasted."

"Doesn't matter now."

Giles took a deep breath and nodded. "Not now," he said softly
he reached up and gently touched the side of her face. He looked
deeply into her eyes, trying to drink a lifetime's worth of memories
in just a moment. "I love you," he said softly.

Willow closed her eyes for a second, overwhelmed now that the
time had finally come. She looked up into his eyes, biting her
lip. She started to speak, but he shook his head. "Let me remember,"
he rasped as he cupped her cheeks in his hands and pulled her
to him. Slowly, he lowered his head to hers and their lips touched.

The kiss was soft, tender, loving... something to last a lifetime.

Willow's small hands slid up his chest and eased around his neck,
holding him that much closer, touching that much more of him.

Never desperate, just easy and natural, they kissed as though they
had all the time in the world. But the earth kept turning and time
still passed. The street lamp above them flickered and went dark.

Finally, Willow eased slightly away and gazed into Giles' eyes.
The moment stretched out between them. Willow leaned in again
and kissed him, then moved her head to the side. One last breath
against his ear and she whispered, "I love you."

In an instant, she was gone.

He let out a shuddering breath and closed his eyes against
the night.

His arms empty, he stood alone in the darkness,
and was humbled by her gift.

Beloved.


The End