The Simple Things

What in God's name am I doing here, Giles thought as he
handed the teenager his ticket.

The answer was quite simple really. He had no life. He was the
very definition of the lonely old bachelor, who'd honestly rather
be at home with a good book.. hell even a bad book would do.

With a sigh, he stepped into the newly constructed
auditorium at the rebuilt Sunnydale High. He hadn't been to
the new school grounds before and it felt strange, somehow
coming back to a place you've never been.

The buildings were nearly identical to the old school and
managed to carry the memories of another time
and another place.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Giles looked down at the filled
theater and considered turning around and leaving.

One thing was certain, he was never going to the corner
market again. If he hadn't needed milk for his damned tea
he wouldn't have run into Mrs. Wilson and she wouldn't have
guilted him into coming to see her students "stunning production
of that classic of the American theater, Our Town".

Giles sighed again and edged his way along the far wall and
halfheartedly looked for an empty seat.

The young man playing the character of the Stage Manager was
already spinning his yarn about the quiet little town, bad New
Hampshire accent and all.

He could have stayed home, claimed he'd gotten a cold or just
flat out refused to come, but for some reason, impossible to
comprehend, he'd stuttered a yes and been true to his word.

What a way to spend a free night. Alone at an old play performed
by teenagers, teenagers he didn't even know. The all looked so
young. It hadn't been that long since he'd been among them every
day.. since Buffy, Xander and Willow had been no older than these
children. And yet as he looked at the students, it seemed impossible
that they'd ever been that young or that innocent.

This was a terrible idea.

Maybe he could stay for a few more minutes then sneak out
the back. After all, it looked as though all the seats were taken.

Just as he was calculating how long he'd have to stand there
to qualify as having "tried", he spied an empty seat. He didn't
have to take it. He was a grown man. He could leave if he
wanted to. Then why was he still standing there like an idiot?
He tried to ignore the voice that said going home to his empty
apartment felt even more pathetic than this.

Giles' eyes bored into the offending empty seat. Damn thing
had to go and complicate his perfect escape plan.

Just then he saw her. Sitting in the chair next to the empty seat
was Willow.

What on earth was she doing here?

Had she been a victim of Mrs. Wilson's shanghai too? Or was she
here with someone? On a date?

Against his better judgment, Giles moved down a few more
stairs to get a better look. His curiosity overrode his senses
and he eased along the wall.

He didn't recognize the older couple to her left and the seat
next to hers was the empty one. She was alone.

He sighed with relief and then shook his head at his own folly.
He should have been disappointed to see she was alone. He
should have been hoping she was with someone. But he wasn't
it. It was wrong, it was selfish, and he couldn't help it. He should
simply want her to be happy, but nothing with Willow was that
simple.

He leaned back against the wall and pushed his hands deep
into the pockets of his corduroy pants. It was an unconscious
gesture he'd taken to around Willow lately.

He'd often stolen a few moments to admire her. She was a
beautiful young woman, but it was more than that. There was
something peaceful about her... something that made him feel
inexplicably content.

The small, gentle smile she always wore was like a tonic and
he drank it in greedily. She was so very lovely.

Even with the companionship of his friends, who were so very
dear to him, Giles always carried a certain loneliness with him.
Something that kept him at arm's length. Circumstance, protocol,
fear... they all played a role in his solitude.

He'd told himself he was content to watch. Watch others fulfill
the dreams we all have inside. He'd tell himself it was the way it
was meant to be. And for the most part, he could reconcile with
his lot, but there times... moments, like this one where he knew
what he was missing.

It was moments like this when he tasted contentment and felt
the stirrings of happiness that he really saw just how lonely he
truly was.

It's a bittersweet thing to be so near and yet still so far away.

Willow must have felt him watching her, because she
shifted in her seat and slowly turned to find him.

When she saw him, her mouth quirked in a bigger smile and her
eyes went wide with pleased surprise. She gave him a small wave
and gestured for him to take the empty chair by her side.

Normally, he would have been embarrassed by being caught openly
staring at her, but for some reason, he wasn't tonight. He'd half
expected her expression to be reproachful, for her eyes to be
somehow accusing, but they hadn't. They'd been filled with...
delight.

Giles nodded his acceptance of her offer and smiled in return.
He took the last few steps and filled the empty chair.

Willow didn't say a word, she just smiled again and turned her
attention back to the play.

Giles watched her fold her hands across her lap and then somehow
he found himself actually listening to the play. He'd never seen it.
It was one of the few classics he's missed.

Somewhere in the second act, Love and Marriage, it didn't seem
matter that the actors were awkward and were late on their cues.
The words, the meaning of the words, began to reach him.

Buried under the guise of a time gone by was a universal
sentiment. The beauty of life. The beauty in the living of each
day and taking in the simple moments and cherishing them.

As he watched the time speed by in the small fictitious town,
Giles felt his own life had passed by just as quickly. In the
blink of an eye the years had flown past him.

He felt the familiar beginnings of regrets stirring inside and
turned to look at Willow, wondering if she felt the same things.

Her expression was wistful and he wished he knew if it was
for things done or things left undone. As always, that gentle
smile of hers, overwhelmed everything else and soothed him.

Young and vibrant, she practically glowed with the energy of life.
Just being near her eased him in ways he couldn't understand.

He could feel her emotions emanating from her in waves as she
watched the play. Her curiosity at the townsfolk, her compassion
for the organist, her longing to share that wonderful moment with
someone when you find love.

He wondered if everyone could feel her the way he did. Or if
this was his gift and his alone.

It was selfish, but he wanted it all for himself. He'd long ago
accepted that he could never have the parts of Willow he dreamt of.
He'd have to content himself with the small pieces he could find,
with the pleasure of her company.

He watched the young girl in the play, Emily, become a woman and
was reminded of how Willow had changed over the years. From a
shy and unsure child to the unassumingly beautiful and confident
woman at his side.

The Stage Manager took center stage again and announced that
nine years had passed and Giles wondered where would his Willow
be then?

And as if the playwright himself had read Giles' mind and given life
to his darkest fears, the young woman in the play died. Far too young
and far too soon, she took her place on the cemetery hill.

Without realizing he'd done it, and yet desperately needing to, Giles
reached over and took Willow's hand in his. She looked up at him
with tears glistening in her eyes and squeezed his hand... in
reassurance? In understanding? Or was there something more?

She smiled sadly, briefly, resigned to the melancholy, and leaned her
head against his shoulder.

They stayed that way, comforting and being comforted as the play
moved on. Scenes of regret and missed opportunities passed
before them.

How is it that we dwell on the painful times in our lives and
somehow let the simple pleasures, the brief, fleeting moments
of happiness pass by unnoticed? We taste so little and
savor even less.

As the play ended and the crowd erupted into applause,
Giles reluctantly released Willow's hand and they joined
in.

They clapped along with the others, stealing brief glances
and sharing awkward smiles now that the lights had
gone up. There's nothing quite like fluorescent lights to
smack you back into a glaring, stark reality.

Once the applause died down, the crowd began to filter
out of the auditorium. Giles cleared his throat and gestured
for Willow to go first up the steps toward the doors in the
back.

They walked in silence among the buzzing throng of
spectators, until they finally emerged outside in the
unseasonably, cool night air.

Willow smiled nervously then shivered. She rubbed her
arms and giggled a little.

"Can.. uhm.. can I give you a ride home?" Giles asked.

"I.. I was actually thinking it might be nice.. to walk... you
know.. just walk for a bit."

"It's not exactly safe alone, Willow."

"No, I know... I meant.. we.. we could walk a bit, unless you
don't want to walk.. then we shouldn't... walk."

Giles chuckled. "I think I could walk... we.. we could walk
for a bit."

"For a bit," Willow echoed with a big smile.

They started down the well lit street, both quite unsure where
they were going, and neither minding in the least.

"Are you sure you won't be cold?" Giles asked.

"No... I'm okay. It's kind of nice," she said as she rubbed
her arms.

Giles nodded and they fell into step again.

"So... " Willow began. "Why did you come tonight? Not.. not
that you have to have a reason. I mean, you can go wherever
you want... except when there's a sign that says 'access
restricted', cause you know.. they really mean that.. it's... restricted."

Giles laughed and told her about his run-in with Mrs. Wilson.

"She does have a gift for guilt," Willow said with a smile.

"Yes, indeed.... and.. uhm, what brings you here tonight?"

Willow blushed a little. "I guess... I just needed to see it again.
I.. I saw once before. The high school did a few years ago."

"I don't remember it."

"It was the year before you came... and I really .. when I saw
the flier for it.. I remembered how it made me feel last time... so
alive, you know? And I really wanted to feel that way again. It sounds
sort of stupid now I guess, but last time, after the play.. I was like
super savor girl... everything... every little thing about life was so
amazing... It just felt so good. It was like.. look at that door, it's so
woody.. or... or feeling the wet grass under your bare feet.. that sort
of thing... and I swore I'd never stop feeling that way."

Giles looked over at her and saw the small frown that creased
her brow. "But..."

"But... I did." She shrugged and sighed. "I guess I let the feeling just
sort of slip away."

Instinctively, Giles wanted to comfort her, to soothe her. And
without thinking, for the second time that night, he took her hand
in his.

They both looked at each other nervously and smiled shyly before
looking away again. But they kept walking, hand in hand, and
it felt wonderful.

Giles cleared his throat. "It's... it's understandable. It's very
easy to lose sight of things. And... life is complicated, especially
here in our town," he added with a smile.

Willow smiled wanly "That's true. There is the whole living on a
Hellmouth thing, but... shouldn't that just make us cherish the
little things all the more? I mean, you'd think almost dying all the
time would make you really appreciate living."

Giles sighed. "Sometimes you're so busy trying to stay
alive or keep those around you alive that you forget to really live."

"I suppose so... but we're not always on the brink of destruction,
okay .. so maybe a lot, but not always.. Take tonight for
instance... we're not fighting a big bad, there's no apocalypse....
Is there?"

Giles smiled and shook his head. "No."

"See then.. just a regular night... and I should be cherishing
every moment.. all the little things.. I can't believe I let so
much just go... phhhtt... totally unnoticed....uncherished.
I'm a big uncherisher."

Giles laughed softly. "Willow, the last thing you are is... is
an uncherisher. More than anyone I know, you seem to always
find some good in life. Something worth while and embrace it."

Willow sighed. "No.. I haven't been. I don't embrace life. I sort of
give it a quick hug and run away."

"Willow..."

"And what if this is all there is? What if there isn't anything
after this. If this is all we get and I'm just wasting it. I.. I should
be saying the things I mean to say.. I should doing the things
I want to do... but I'm not... I'm just letting it all get away."

"I doubt that."

Willow looked up at Giles and just the being with him
made her feel better. He was strong and reassuring.
Thoughtful and amazing. If only she had the courage she
dreamt of. To tell him how she felt about him. To show him
how she really felt. She blushed a bit at her thoughts.

"He was right," she said thoughtfully, trying to steer her mind
back to safe ground.

"Who was right?"

"Wilder."

"Ah... the playwright."

"We don't ever really look at each other. I mean when was the
last time you *really* looked at someone?"

Giles smiled at the memory. "Today."

"You see what I ... Today?" Willow asked. "Really?"
Giles nodded.

"Wh-what did you see?"

His smile broadened. "Lots of things... Wonder, compassion,
curiosity, intelligence, passion, humor, power, desire, beauty,
a little sad and maybe a little lonely."

"Wow... you saw all that?"

He nodded again, his eyes crinkling in a pensive smile. "Yes."

"Wow."

Willow bit her lip. She was afraid to ask, but she had to know who
it was. "Uhm.. who.. who was it?"

Giles paused for a moment, considering his answer. He'd been
so busy lamenting things, he'd forgotten to live. And here by
his side was the best life had to offer.

Giles tightened his hold on Willow's hand and felt something deep
inside him shift. Perhaps now was the time to start living or at least
start trying.

He pulled them to a stop and turned to her. He stared into her eyes
for a long moment before answering.

"You."

"Me? Me as in me? You saw all those things... i-in me?"

Giles looked down for a moment, but his embarrassment was lifted
by an immense sense of relief. He'd wanted to tell her those things
for so long. It actually felt wonderful to finally say them.

He smiled and prepared himself for her response. "Yes," he said
firmly. "You."

Willow was flummoxed. He.. Giles... thought those things about
her. "Y-you... you think I'm pretty?"

"No."

"Oh," she said looking down.

Giles hooked two fingers under her chin and tilted her head
back up. "Willow, you're beautiful."

"Really?"

He nodded and brushed a lock of hair away from her face.
"Really," he said his voice barely a whisper in the dark. "Very...
very beautiful."

Willow's heart raced in her chest and suddenly she couldn't seem
to catch her breath.

The moment stretched out between them, the memory of his
brief touch lingering like fire on her cheek.

They stared into each other's eyes, uncertainty and hope
warring for control.

Willow licked her lips and summoned her courage. "Giles?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm gonna kiss you," she said softly.

His voice having deserted him, he could only nod.

"I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do it," she said. "I think I-"

The rest of her words were buried under his kiss. It started
as gently as a summer breeze. His mouth just barely touching
hers. But as he felt her begin to respond, he deepened
the kiss. Barely nibbling her lower lip at first, pulling on it
and scarcely caressing it with his tongue.

He heard her moan softly and felt her small hands slide up his
chest. He put one hand on her hip and pulled her body tightly
against his and wound his other hand into the silky hair behind
her ear.

She felt him trace the seam of her mouth and with a soft purr she
opened herself to him.

The fullness of the kiss slowly ebbed, giving way to tender, gentle
touches, until they finally pulled apart and looked once again
into each other's eyes.

"I think you can scratch sad and lonely off your list," Willow
said with a smile.

The End