Last updated March 15, 2005
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What to look for to recognize an adult who was sexually abused as a child? |
What type of people sexually abuse children? |
Please let me know if the list below is helpful to you by e-mailing me at wilseykansas@yahoo.com.
In children or adolescents, the following are signs of possible sexual abuse. This list is a compilation of lists from numerous other sources and the same "sign" may be stated in several different ways. I have retained some of the duplication between lists to more ensure that a particular way of wording something did not prevent readers from understanding some of the implications.
Remember, sexual abuse is often accompanied by physical and emotional abuse or manipulation and sometimes with neglect, so these signs do overlap with the signs listed for other forms of abuse elsewhere.
Further, THESE INDICATORS ARE NOT CONCLUSIVE PROOF OF CHILD ABUSE. There can be other, reasonable explanations for what you observe. A number of these, by themselves or taken together, can be early indicators of potentially major mental or physical health problems even when unrelated to abuse or neglect of any sort. So these are problems that need to be raised with a child's family as needing to be 'checked out', without raising the issue of abuse in most cases. Be sure that other possible factors have been ruled out as more than just simply unlikely before presuming abuse of any sort. False accusations can be quite damaging to the child, as well as to the adult(s) accused.
-Inability to play as most children do
-Is clinging or excessively dependent.
-Has sleep disturbances; i.e.: nightmares or fear of the dark, fear of going to bed, screaming, phobias, hysteria, etc.
-Nightmares, trouble sleeping, fear of the dark, or other sleeping problems.
-Has a short attention span or displays lack of attention.
-Extreme fear of "monsters"
-Gives an indirect message by refusing to go to the house of a relative or friend for no apparent reason.
-Fear or dislike of certain people or places.
-Fear of certain people or places (e.g., a child may not want to be left alone with a baby-sitter, a friend, a relative, or some other child or adult; or a child who is usually talkative and cheery may become quiet and distant when around a certain person).
-Fear of going home;
-Running away from home
-Fear of parents and other adults;
-Protests suddenly or continuously when left with someone he or she knows, such as a relative, neighbor, day care worker, baby-sitter, etc.
-Has a fear of particular area of the house or a particular family member or is afraid of being left alone with a person of a particular sex.
-Loss of interest in or withdrawal from a particular activity like a baseball team or dance class
-Dramatic change in behavior at school or school performance
-Feeling threatened by physical contact expressed by pulling back from touches or attempts to give hugs, or resisting or avoiding physical contact in other ways
-Stomach illness all of the time with no identifiable reason.
-Displays regressive behavior
-Such as return to younger, more babyish behavior; i.e.: thumb sucking, bed wetting or soiling, baby talk, clinging, etc.
-New words for private body parts.
-Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, anger, or withdrawal.
-Extreme mood swings;
-Inappropriate mood;
-Aggressiveness;
-Showing unusually aggressive behavior toward family members, friends, toys, and pets.
-Is hyperactive.
-Is disruptive and / or demanding.
-Is inappropriately affectionate toward strangers.
-Chronic depression
-Behaves in an overly compliant manner.
-Illegal drug or underage alcohol use or abuse
-Cutting or burning herself or himself as an adolescent.
-Engaging in self-mutilations, such as sticking themselves with pins or cutting themselves
-Taking an otherwise normal and 'accepted' activity to extremes such as going from pierced ears to multiple body peircings or weight control efforts to the point of anorexia or bulemia
-Comments about committing suicide
-Attempting suicide
-Habit disorders, such as nail-biting
-Low self-esteem
-Neuroses, such as hypochondria, obsessions;
-Shows an unusual and exaggerated interest in people's bodies.
-Draws pictures that indirectly depict sexual activity/sexualized drawings.
-Hints about sexual activity or states that he/she has been abused.
-Makes unusual statements that only make sense in a sexual content.
-Has a detailed and age-inappropriate understanding of sexual behavior and is preoccupied with sex in conversations.
-Sexual activities with toys or other children, such as simulating sex with dolls or asking other children/siblings to behave sexually.
-Persistent sexual play with other children, themselves, toys or pets.
-Attempts sexual behavior with other children, toys, or animals and may act in an angry, aggressive, or controlling fashion.
-Bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual behavior or knowledge.
-Sexual activity or pregnancy at an early age.
-Inserts objects into the vagina or rectum.
-At play explicitly mimics sexual activities.
-Displays unusual interest in or preoccupation with sexual acts or language far beyond the developmentally normal level and may act out with sexual approaches that appear to be sexually provocative behavior with adults.
-Masturbating excessively.
-Is preoccupied: seems to live in a "dream world".
-Spacing out at odd times.
Do NOT confuse this "spacing out" with some forms of epilepsy or other neurological (brain) problems.
-Soreness, redness, chaffing, lacerations, or bleeding around genitals or anal areas.
-Unexplained bruises, pain, swelling, bleeding or irritation of the mouth, genital or anal area;
-Loss of appetite, or trouble eating or swallowing.
-Urinary infections
-Frequent urinary or yeast infections.
-Torn, stained, or bloody underclothing.
-Pain or itching in genital area.
-Difficulty walking or sitting.
-Sexually transmitted diseases.
-Genital sores or milky fluids in the genital area?
-Blood in urine or stools
-Complaints of genital or rectal pain
-Pain experienced in elimination
-Talking about a new older friend.
-Refusing to talk about a "secret" he/she has with an adult or older child.
-Suddenly having money.
-Refusal to remove outer garments
-Unwillingness to change for gym or in other public 'locker room' situations
-Having unexplained periods of panic, which may be flashbacks from the abuse.
-Becomes frantic when his or her diaper is changed.
-Apprehension when other children cry;
Remember, virtually all of these, especially the behavioral and emotional based signs, have possible causes OTHER THAN sexual abuse. Do not presume that a child with several of these is necessarily a sexual abuse victim. This is merely a list of signs that taken individually or together indicate that further investigation needs to made into the cause(s) for these signs. A number of these, by themselves, can be early indicators of potentially major mental or physical health problems even when unrelated to abuse or neglect of any sort.
Feel free to e-mail me at
wilseykansas@yahoo.com with comments about this list or other related topics.
Last updated March 15, 2005