Y2K12 - Chapter 21

Jared wasn’t surprised to find Todd covered head to toe in grime, but he was surprised that Todd was back in the penthouse early and on his own. Was he ill?

“Todd? Anything wrong?”

“No. I’m fine.”

Nearly chipping a tooth from gritting his teeth so hard, Jared mentally counted to ten…several times, then followed Todd to his room. The door was open, so he walked in as Todd was shucking his filthy coveralls to reveal that the body underneath was not spared any filth. There was also a faint odor of smoke and dust.

“Were you welding?”

Todd spared him only the slightest glance, and seemed jumpy. Jared got an uncharacteristic sense of guilt from Todd, the way the kid was avoiding eye contact.

“Are you sure you’re fine? I’m only asking because…I was half expecting to have to drag you out of the garage. And here you are…almost an hour before time’s up.”

“Only half expecting, huh?” Todd shot Jared a sly look catching him off guard with his dry humor. “Nah…I’m done for the day.”

Jared found that hard to believe.

“Really? Anything you want to show me.”

Definitely not! Todd scrambled for a way out.

“I just wanted to shower off.”

Now THAT Jared could believe. Todd wore more grease than clean skin. He was a mess.

“Must have been some project.”

Jared was stunned to the core when Todd gave him a lopsided smile…head down and shy-like, but a smile none the same. The kid has teeth?

“Yeah it was.”

Feeling he was on the outside of an inside joke, Jared just enjoyed the smile for the fleeting seconds it lasted on Todd’s face.
Jared told Todd to hit the shower, and that they’d head down to the gym when he got out.

While Todd was showering, Jared hollered that he was needed downstairs for something, and to hurry and meet him in the gym. Todd’s internal trouble alert sounded, but he shrugged it off as being paranoid.

*****

Jared stood shoulder to shoulder with Deek. His mind could not wrap around what he was looking at, or what it was suppose to be - or better said, what it use to be. Both men walked around it, cocking their heads. Deek’s expression was that of shock and horror, while Jared’s was pure astonishment. What only hours ago used to be Deek’s baby - his pride and joy, a showroom clean, perfect Harley Davison motorcycle - was gone. What was parked in its place was something else…the only distinguishable clue was the custom painted gas tank and the fringed leather saddlebags - neither of which where in the proper alignment with one another. It seemed there were some additions as well…attached to the handle bars was a bell ringer and the tassels off a kid’s bicycle…must have been a girl’s…the pink and white streamers were in sharp contrast to the spotless black and chrome of the bike…regardless of it’s current shape.

Jared lost it. He burst out in hysterical laughter. Not even the thunderous look Deek shot him could quell the belly laugh that possessed Jared.

“It’s not funny!”

Deek’s eyes had turned in to jet -black flames, which served only to make Jared laugh harder.

“I know…<gasp>.

Annoyed with his friend, Deek shoved Jared in to a pile of tires… making Jared laugh harder now that he did not have to concentrate on standing. Deek looked on in disgust as fat tears of mirth slid down Jared’s face. Against his will, Deek began to chuckle as well.

“Guess the little shit really hates me.”

“Ya think? What <gasp> was your first clue?…Ow!”
Deek punched Jared, but his boss was too hysterical to feel it. Deek gave in and flopped down beside his gasping friend. Both men sat there and laughed until it hurt. Once they were both sober enough to speak, Deek looked at Jared.

“So what are you going to do about this?”

Standing up with the dexterity of a man twice his age, Jared shook his head and held his ribs.

“Firing squad at dawn?” Jared squeaked out, as he fought to control himself and failed.

“Don’t tempt me,” Deek growled, but his smirk softened the words.

“Is the bike damaged…or can you <cough> um tell.”

Drilling Jared with a clear ‘eat shit’ look, Deek checked over the metal sculpture that was his Harley.

“That talented little fuck!”

Curious, Jared joined him in the closer inspection of the bike. There was not a single blemish on the shiny gas tank’s custom pain job, none of the chrome was scratched…Todd had used great care and mastery to do this with no damage. He had even used strips of inner tube for buffers and protection in many places. Todd was a master at his craft.

Even though Deek admitted the humor in this, he demanded that Jared punish the kid.

“What do you want me to do? Beat his ass?”

A look of pure malevolence graced Deek’s dark features.

“For starters.”

“C’mon, dawg. No harm, no foul, no funeral. He just …rearranged a few things.”

“A few things? My bike looks like a fuck’n Chinese puzzle!” Incredulous outrage boomed in Deek’s raised voice.

Jared disintegrated into peals of laughter again, and it took a while to regain his composure.

“Ahhh …sorry man…<snort…gasp>. Seriously Deek, Todd didn’t damage…or permanently damage anything did he?”

Rich, dark eyes glittered.

“No? What would you call this?”

“<cough cough> um…creative art?” Jared’s voice was strained and choked with laughter he still could not control.

“Would you take this serious, Jared?” Deek growled ominously.

“Okay, okay. The kid’s out of line I know that. He should not have done it, but shit, he’s good…sorry, sorry. I’ll call him down here, and you can put the fear of God in him and make sure he repairs it…but I’m not going to punish him…man, I just <gurgle> can’t!”

“Well I sure as hell can…ah…look what he’s done to my lady.”

Jared was overcome with laughter again.

“Sorry man, but (gasp, choke) you’re not touching him.”

For all his hysterical laughter, Deek knew Jared was adamant. Taking a deep breath and shaking his head, Deek wondered if he was going soft in his old age. His anger could not withstand the infectiousness of Jared’s mirth… he too was swept up in the laughter and the absurdity of the situation.

“Yeah, but I’m going to enjoy making him squirm.”

“Just no bloodshed, Deek.”

Jared buzzed the penthouse intercom and firmly told Todd he wanted to see him in the garage right away. They could both hear the nervousness in the boy’s voice when he said he was on his way. No questions asked, he just turned off the intercom.

* * * * *

Todd tried to bolster himself for what was sure to happen now. He had known and accepted this possibility earlier, when the trick had seemed a good idea. Jared’s voice sounded strained, and now Todd was having second thoughts about what was already done. Why he thought he could escape trouble over it was beyond him . . . just at the time it had needed to be done. Breaking a promise to himself not to regret his actions…he was regretting them big time now.

All to soon, the elevator stopped at the garage level and the doors opened. The distance to the mountainous men was agonizing, as his knees felt like they had turned to mush.

Todd only looked momentarily at Jared, too fearful to face Deek’s stormy countenance. Jared was in full Tank mode. Stoic, silent and there was an alarming shine to his eyes. Was he so angry that it made his eyes water?

“I didn’t know you were into impressionistic art, Todd,” Jared’s voice sounded strained and his chest heaved.

Their eyes locked. The Tank looked so odd, like he was about to explode. Todd’s eyes slid away first, unable to meet that green gaze. Jared was really angry. A peculiar sensation began to grow in the pit of Todd’s stomach, like riding the elevator…he was learning it was the harbinger to trouble and sleeping on his stomach.

Todd just stood silent, head down with his sweaty hands in his pockets.

“Jared, Todd and I have something to discuss …in private if you don’t mind.”

Todd squeezed his eyes shut in silent appeal to Heaven that Jared would just take him home to beat him and not leave him to Deek.

“All right. I’ll be in the gym.”

Appeal denied. Todd did not see the concerned glance Jared gave Deek, or the returned wink, all he knew was he was very close to something really bad. It was a horrible feeling Todd felt as he heard the elevator open and Jared leave. He did not have long to suffer from it.

Deek turned to Todd, who was standing head still down and body tightly strung, with his hands jammed deep in the pockets of his baggy cargo pants. Deek could tell that he was being closely watched from beneath the lowered lashes, despite the cap’s brim that rode low on the kid’s brow.

“Are you trying to make some point with me, boy?” Deek asked, indicating the chunk of metal that only vaguely resembled his bike.

The brooding youth in front of him only offered a shrug.
“I got - or HAD - no problems with you, Todd. So what’s up with this, huh?”

Todd just stood silently staring at the floor. To Deek, he was off in space somewhere. He appeared to be tuned out, not really paying attention. Not in a mood to tolerate that, Deek abruptly sat down on convenient crate, and Todd found the world turned upside down with the concrete floor only inches from his forehead. Immediately, Todd’s self defenses kicked into panic mode. He kicked and struggled as if his life depended on it. Deek had little trouble holding on to the thrashing, cussing youth across his lap.

For all Todd’s fighting, he did not gain a single inch of ground. He only ended up worn out and breathless, and very vulnerable at this moment. Perfect for what was coming. Frustration and fear waged war inside him; tears already formed and stung behind his eyes. His backside was finally clear of the marks from the last spanking. Todd really didn’t want to replace them!

Once the boy had calmed down, although he was nowhere near relaxed, Deek loosened his grip slightly.

“Do I have your attention now Todd?”

The dark head emphatically nodded ‘yes’. Deek gave a firm pat on the butt. Todd hated the way he flinched, showing his fear. He was a small guy, but against Deek - as well as Jared - he was downright puny, and felt every inch as small.

“So you’re ready to talk like an adult, like men, now? If not, I’ll just let my hand do the talkin’.”

“Talk…we can talk.”

Todd needed no other incentive to give up, and was then hoisted upright back on his feet, face flaming as his voice broke on the words, like he was going through puberty again.

“Okay, kid…start talkin’.”

“I didn’t…fuc…damage it.” He mumbled lamely, lowering his head so that the brim of his old cap hid his face.

Deek was pleased hear this, though he knew it already.

“I noticed…thanks, I feel better.”

Looking up to meet Deek’s gaze, Todd saw that there was no anger in Deek’s voice or posture. Just the man’s dark, intense eyes that made him fidget. Todd proclaimed that he would never really damage a bike, not permanently…he said he had too much respect for them. Deek raised an eyebrow at that.

“But no respect for the owner, huh? Why’s that Todd? Because I did my job, stopping you from running away?”

The resentment was clear in the brown eyes that hid under the cap.

“You didn’t hafta fuck’n shoot me.”

Just as Deek had suspected, the kid thought he had done it maliciously. In a firm but calm tone, Deek pointed out a few things.

“If I had known it was you, I wouldn’t have. If you had stopped, I wouldn’t have. If your little, white ass hadn’t been out there in the first place, I wouldn’t have. So tell me where I am the one wrong in this…how did I earn that? Sounds like I’m the one that should be pissed, huh?” Deek pointed to his bike again.

Todd had no answer. Everything Deek said was true. All he could do was stand there and wait for what he feared was coming.

“Can’t, huh? Maybe ‘cause you’re the one that was wrong?”

The cap dipped once as Todd shrugged. Deek griped Todd by the shoulders firmly.

“Not good enough, kid. Todd, I’m sorry I tased you - I did not know it was you. If you’re mad at me because you got your booty belted…too bad. You got no one to blame but yourself there. Now tell me am I wrong, cause I need to know if I am. Well?”

Todd jammed his fists back down into his pockets. Deek had nailed him on all accounts, and his stomach felt tight, like the ground was heaving under him. The words came instinctively.

“No sir.”

Deek had to strain to Todd’s answer, but he did hear it.

“Okay, then we call it even. Deal?”

Todd took the hand Deek offered, afraid to believe it was over and he was alive - or at the very least, sleeping on his back tonight. Before Deek let loose of Todd’s hand, he pulled him up close, speaking more sternly.

“Now, you will put my bike back together…just the way it was: every bolt, every part, spotless, perfect, and get rid of the new accessories and never touch it or anything else but your own bike again. Or you will wish you did not even have an ass to beat. You feelin’ me?”

Deek’s face was cold and serious. Todd felt icy fingers of alarm travel down his spine. He realized right then how lucky he was to get off with just a warning.

“Yeah…yes, sir.”

Todd was a little shaky when he and Deek met up with Jared and Mouse at the pool. Jared gave him a wink, pulled him away from the others in the locker room, and collected him in a huge hug. Todd, against his will almost, clung to him not really caring why or what Jared must think. Jared let loose a chuckle as he enjoyed the embrace.

“Kid, you are either the craziest or the bravest person I have ever known. Only you would have the balls to mess with Deacon Harris’ bike. Are you alright?”

Nodding as he looked up at the watery green eyes, Todd now realized that it was laughter that had the Tank so choked up - not anger. Jared was becoming less Tank-like the more he let the big man in. Or was it himself that was changing?

“You’re…you’re not pissed?”

Ernest round eyes searched his, Jared tipped his blonde head back and barked out a laugh.

“No… I should be… but, I can’t. You should have seen his face!”

“Jared, I heard that…let’s take this to the pool.”

Not sure how to handle the two large men who now seemed more like over-sized little kids, Todd kept to himself in a corner of the pool. Floating on a raft, well away from the churning water as Deek and Jared wrestled like two titans trying to drown one another, the boy was unsure how to fit in, or of what he was feeling about the day so far. His thoughts were interrupted as Mouse’s voice drifted over the water.

“Brah, did you really tear apart Deek’s bike?” Mouse asked, as he bobbed over next to Todd. He’d been over with the men until his lungs inhaled more water than was comfortable . . . or, perhaps, safe.

“Yeah…sorta.”

“Damn, brah! You got a death wish or something?”

“Not really.”

Mouse laughed, and shook the wet hair out of his face.

“You’re lucky, brah. He’s not even mad. He’s fuck’n laughin’ his ass off. And have you seen his ass, dude? … that’s a lot of laughing.”

Not aware that Deek had floated up behind him, Mouse was unexpectedly yanked underwater. Todd almost laughed out loud at the pop-eyed look before the blond was submerged. He had seen Deek, and was silently told to keep cool as the large man moved with surprising stealth up behind Mouse.

Mouse popped back up, coughing and sputtering from his dunking.

“Anything else you care to say about my ass, little Mouse?”

Todd caught a mock glare from Mouse.

“Thanks for the warning, dude.”

Deek was then attacked – pathetically - by Mouse, who resumed his baptism at the larger man’s hands.

Mouse broke the surface and called a warning to Todd. But it was too late.

“CANNONBALL!”

Todd had no time to do more than look up before Jared’s tightly tucked backside was headed right for them. His large body splashed down right along side Todd, capsizing the inflated lounger. From underwater, Todd was lifted in strong arms and then hurled easily out of the water - only to land into Deek’s arms and then be tossed back to Jared, each time getting thoroughly dunked.

Even Mouse got in on the fun, and made a few attempts to rescue Todd, which proved to be laughably ineffective. So he joined the winning team by shouting lazy encouragements from Todd’s vacated lounger.

It was sheer luck that kept Todd’s baggy trunks on. The bite behind his curses was stolen by being dunked with precision timing.

“Stopit…mobbler fubluber…cough cough…Ah…fluck!…NO!”

Just didn’t have the same effect on the men as one would think. By the time the men were tired of their new play toy, Todd was worn out and grinning. Todd even let loose a panicked laugh here and there. Tired as he was, Todd was all too happy to join in with them for some Quigong excersises, which he really enjoyed. By the time they were all in the showers, he was exhausted, and much more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. Jared and Deek shared secret glances at the change in the kid’s mood. Jared was very encouraged.

“Hey, Todd! Wanna come up to my place? It’s Friday, and Meg is always baking some kind of cookie for the weekend.”

Jared said that was fine with him. Dinner had to be prepared first, and that was a few hours away yet.

* * * * *

Mouse opened the door to Meg's apartment, and the air was permeated with the sent of spices. Whatever she was baking made Todd’s mouth water.

Soon Mouse and Todd were talking over glasses of milk and a plate of hot cookies. Mouse was on a stool, and Todd was just bent over at the waist, forearms on the table, as they talked about what Todd did to Deek’s bike. Meg was shocked, and her admonishments made Todd squirm. A blush tainted his cheeks, but he still couldn’t quite hide is lack of remorse or that hint of pride.

Mouse was finding out that Todd was a quiet sort of kid. He was easily embarrassed, and didn’t join into conversation easily. He was not really arrogant, but factual about his capabilities. Todd didn’t go into great details, didn’t waste much air on talking trash, his comments were just short and usually vague - unless you got him talking about bikes. Meg delighted in Todd’s rare chatter on that subject.

Mouse had to hide his smile as Meg fussed over Todd. The poor kid, Mouse thought to himself, did not stand a chance. Meg in mother-hen mode was a force no man or beast could defeat.

Meg gave Todd a modest reprimand for his running off the other night - lecturing the whole time she was shoving fresh cookies under his nose.

The scent of the kitchen sent Todd on a trip back in time. He could very clearly remember the last time he’d had fresh baked cookies. Clara had baked some for him a few times when he would do her some little favor. She would have liked Meg - they had much in common. He did miss the old lady. She was rough and tough as the desert itself, yet she had this soft side that was in irresistible sharp contrast to her toughness. She had taught him how to weld, and had taken gentle care of him the time he was badly beaten up. She never got in his business, obviously a lesson none of these folks had learned. Memories of Clara’s face faded into that of a younger woman, whose face was soft and beautiful as she smiled and pulled a tray of cookies from the oven. Thoughts of Clara and his past took him down a dark path in his mind. He had grown close to the old woman and bailed on her…let her down like he had done so many others…like he would probably do here, too. He watched Mouse and Meg interact with each other from what felt like miles away. The casual intimacy they had as the two bantered was alien to Todd and frightening.

Mouse noticed right off the mood change in Todd, and he did not look so good. He seemed inwardly miles away. Wherever it was, it was not his happy place. Leaning over, Mouse spoke so only Todd could hear.

“Yo brah, you all right?”

“Yeah, fine.”

Mouse was not so quickly convinced.

“You sure, dude? You don’t look so hot . . . maybe I should call Jared.”

Todd pulled a face and shook his head.

“You kinda got me worried.”

Mouse frowned, as Todd just shrugged it off.

“Don’t bother worrying about me…it’s a waste of time.”

CRACK!

Both Todd and Mouse jumped at the unexpected noise, and it took all of Todd’s willpower not to grab his left butt cheek where a fiery sting had exploded and then blossomed. Turning his head, Todd faced Meg, who was holding the smoking gun…a huge wooden spoon. Hazel eyes flashed her ire.

“I do not ever want to hear that come out of your mouth again, young man. That is nonsense, and it is hurtful not only to yourself, but also to those of us who care for you…very much.”

Before Mouse could warn him, Todd challenged back.

“Well, don’t waste your time. I’m not worth the trouble…never have been and never will be.”

The old woman moved faster than Todd would ever believe possible, as her wooden spoon connected several times with his backside before he could dance out of her reach. The thin cotton of the cargo pants did nothing to buffer the horrible sting of the spoon, and his eyes watered from its bite. He had never understood Brian’s reluctance to stand up to her - until now. Unwilling to give into the instinct to grab his burning butt, Todd stood uncomfortably before her as she chewed him up one side and down the other. She defended him against himself, waving the spoon the whole time. By the time Meg was done, he was completely intimidated by all 5 foot 4 of her.

“You are very much worth my time. In fact, I’d be happy to take some time to show you just how much,” She warned, waving the spoon ominously, narrowed eyes locked onto his own.

“No ma’am, that’s alright.” Todd said, feeling pretty stupid and a little ashamed.

“Now, are you feeling ill? Should I call Jared?”

Shamefaced, Todd found eye contact impossible.

“No ma’am. I’m fine.”

Meg gave a jerky nod, and shoved a plate piled high with cookies in Mouse’s hands.

“Then you boys just get next door. I better not hear anymore of that nonsense - do I make myself clear, Todd? Look at me when I’m talking to you, boy.”

Todd slowly lifted his eyes to her face. Her Aunt Bea features were no longer soft and pleasant, instead they were hard and serious. But her hazel eyes were full of warmth.

“Yes ma’am.”

Nodding her head, satisfied she had got her message across, she kicked the boys out of her kitchen and over to Mouse’s adjoining apartment, still mumbling over Todd’s comments. As soon as the connecting door was closed Todd rubbed his backside briskly with both hands.

“Dude! Shit!” Todd hissed as he rubbed. Mouse just nodded with understanding.

“Dude, you don’t know the half of it - trust me. Just be lucky it wasn’t a brush in her hand!”

“Why is everyone so hyped on smackin’ my ass every fuckin’ time I do somethin’?”

“’Cause it works, brah.”

Mouse and Todd found another thing they had in common…being treated like a kid. Mouse however had fewer problems with it. He didn’t like the occasional sessions with Meg’s brush, but accepted them as a part of life. He knew he deserved each and every lick he ever got, and said as much. Todd was not so inclined to agree. Mouse leaned over close and drilled Todd with a look that reminded him of Deek. For a little guy, and one not quite 3 years older, there was a firmness to Mouse that Todd was beginning to see and take note of. Mouse was not the goofball he let everyone think him to be. His tone of voice had an edge now of all business, making Todd feel very much the younger kid - and one about to get popped.

“Look Todd, it’s a small price to pay for living above the shit pile. I’m off the street, safe. I have a place all to myself - or mostly to myself - a car…that I ain’t live’n in, and a job, brah…not many out there like this one. And, man, I got me a fuck’n family. These people ain’t shitin’ ya when they say they care. More than all that…I’m wanted, I’m loved and I love ‘em back. Fuck you if you think I’m nuts, but the few ass whuppin’s I’ve got are more than worth it.”

Todd just sat on the couch across from him. Mouse saw much of his own pain in Todd’s confused face.

“Dude, how can you say that? You’re fuck’n 20 years old, and you’re cool with getting your ass beat….that’s just wrong, dude.”

Mouse shrugged with indifference.

“I’m not cool with it, Todd… not exactly. Brah, I don’t know how to make you understand…I know it sounds fucked. I’m treated… mostly like an adult, when I act like one. That said, and being only 20, and just being me, I do fuck up…occasionally. And then I get…well, ya know. I sorta need it, brah…no lie. Yeah, I know how that sounds…but without it…I’m…lost…it’s the only thing that keeps me on the planet sometimes, you know? It’s not a bad life, Todd…it’s good and it’s right. Better yet, I made it. I’m 20 and alive, no…wrong…I’m living and living phat. I was 14 when Meg took me in. I didn’t think I’d live to see 18 - and fuck 20. The idea of living like this…was only a good high.” Mouse indicated his apartment, and looked pointedly at Todd.

“Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Straight up brah, did you really see life past next year?”

Todd leaned his head back on the cushions and stared at the ceiling. Mouse had just spoken aloud perhaps the biggest taboo or secret he and so many other kids on the street had. Nobody ever talked about it. It was just a fact. None really believed they would ever make it to adulthood, and some didn’t want to. Mouse felt for Todd - he knew that fear.

“Todd, you have a real chance now…<chuckle> whether or not you like it, brah, your ass is being dragged or whupped into the future. Do you get that, Todd? A future! When was the last time you looked in that window, huh? So suck it up, and go with it. For what it’s worth, you ain’t alone - I’m on the same bus.”

The words “you’re not alone” rang in Todd’s ears, hitting a cord with him. As much as he fought it, it helped…it felt good. Mouse told him he knew just how he felt…he’d been spanked a time or two by Jared, and it was no love tap. Todd sat up and fixed his eyes on the carpet, deep in thought. Mouse waited quietly, allowing Todd to take his time.

“It’s different for you, alright.”

Frowning at Todd, Mouse shook his head, not understanding. Todd rolled his eyes and made a rude noise.

“Think about it…or does that hurt too much?”

Still a blank on Mouse’s face, he took no umbrage to Todd’s flippant remark.

“I’m…different….sorta like Jared is different…ya know…different.”

It took a second, but Mouse caught on…his lips formed a silent O.

“Yeah…like I said, it’s different for me.”

“I don’t see how…so what if you’re a twinkie? An ass whuppin’ is an ass whuppin’ - hurts just the same. Do you get turned on by it, or something?”

Scowling darkly at the older blonde, Todd shook his head. He could feel the burn of a blush in his face.

“Fuck that…no. What about you, rat boy? Do you get off on it?”
“Nah……er…not exactly…I sorta do later on, though…brah, much later. I kinda like…the tingle, just not how you get the tingle.”

Mouse winked at Todd, who couldn’t quite keep a straight face against Mouse’s facial expressions as he dramatically mimed masturbating and rubbing his butt.

“Dude, you got issues. Look, it’s just different for me, okay? Deek’s like your pops or something, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“ Well Jared ain’t my dad, and I don’t see him like that, I don’t wanna see him like that…I see him…”

Mouse grinned big.

“You see him different. I know the whole gay thing, and you say I have issues. Brah, seriously…that’s cool…I ain’t freaked by it . . . don’t get it, but hey, more Betty’s for me, then. Don’t matter how you see him, Todd, we are talking about Jared, brah…he’d bust your can even if you were married to him. Todd, let me tell you some thing about Jared Sherman: Brah, it don’t matter about your age, or if you two bang the gong or not…if he thinks you got it coming…it’s all over but the crying. ”

Aware the conversation had taken a turn he was very uncomfortable talking about, Todd grew quiet. Mouse took Todd’s silence for brooding. Once again his tone and diction changed from kid to authoritarian.

“Look brah, no kid likes getting his ass kicked. I fucking hate getting it…Deek’s never too thrilled about doing it, and Meg cry’s sometimes after. That really sucks. But if they didn’t…I’d be pretty fucked up, you know…I don’t like it, but I need my ass kicked once in a great, great, great while. We aren’t so different, Todd. I came from the streets too, brah - no one was going to take control of me or my life! Todd, I’m straight up telling you, after feeling that fucking brush a time or ten….fuck control, you can have it.”

Mouse smiled, grabbed some milk from the fridge, and returned to his goofy, mild self.

“B’sides, Todd, if you had been raised by… well, real parents…no doubt they’da busted your ass somewhere down the line, brah. It ain’t so bad…once you can sit down again!”

Changing the subject so not to put off - or piss off - Todd completely, Mouse directed the conversation to mutual history. They talked over the plate of cookies about the things they missed or did not miss from the zone. Neither missed getting jumped, drugs, drug dealers, gangs, the beds or the food - when you got food. What they had in common were the parties, raves, the music and fast food style sex. Mouse was younger than Todd when he was taken under Meg’s wing, but he still sampled most of what the streets had to offer. Todd was quite open about sex. Not surprising to Mouse, who was just as open in his limited experience. To them, and most street rats, it’s like talking about sports…just a common interest. Sex for them was for affection, for the most part, empty as it was, and it only lasted as long as your stamina.

Mouse asked Todd if he was really gay since he didn’t act like most Mouse knew. Todd said he had never been with another guy, other than foreplay. When asked why, Todd readily admitted that he just had not found anyone who made him want to give up that much control or trust. That made little sense to him now, as he reflected on his living arrangements at the moment. What girls he’d been with were just for release, yet he preferred the company of men, given the choice. What Todd kept to himself, was that most of the time when he sought out intimate company was for different reasons than the obvious. Male company tended to feed his desire for understanding, and rarely roughness - even pain sometimes…one of his reasons for not going through with anything further, and it was always a brief encounter. Women gave him the softness and excuse to hold on to someone for the short few hours he’d allow that intimacy…never overnight. Jared was one of the few that he wanted to spend the night with, and more.

Mouse began to see Todd as less and less of a tough street thug. The kid was tough…but not as much as he would like people - or even himself - to believe.

For every point Todd made about the freedom and living his life as he chose, Mouse made equal points to the drawbacks. Both boys agreed on the amenities of this life…like shampoo, toothpaste and toilet paper…the good stuff, these three items were hard to come by on the streets. Few areas had fully stocked stores, most bought food and other items street market style…cities and towns were getting back on their feet, but it was slow and very expensive.

Mouse’s apartment was a wonder to Todd. It was the first time someone his age, or close enough to it, had had a place like this. It was clean, in one piece, and it was a home. There were different skateboards and snowboards hanging on the wall. Too bad he was not Todd’s type - he had the potential of being cool.

“Shit, should’a known you was skater, rat boy.” Todd said, as he checked out the fancy artwork on the decks. Mouse took no offence.

“That’s Mouse, short for ‘Mauhser’ - and Mr. Mouse to you, punk. What kind of name is ‘Mags’?”

A hot blush flooded Todd’s cheeks and neck.

“Just a dumb name some jerk off tagged me with.”

“Why? ‘Cause hims so purty?”

“Fuck off,” Todd said with an indignant chuckle, and Mouse left him alone. Todd was not quite comfortable enough around him to tease much yet.

“Ever been on a board, Todd?”

“Skate? …Yeah…some.”

Todd did not elaborate, and Mouse let it die, but already his mind was building Todd’s custom deck.

Todd found that Mouse had pets, too. Huge fish tanks - one in the living room, one in his bed room, and another smaller one in the spare room he used for his computer, skateboard shop and the rare guest. Mouse also had a cat. A gift from Jared, who thought it ironic for someone called ‘Mouse’. The cat’s name was Evinrude because of its almost obnoxious outboard-like purring. The Siamese took immediately to Todd, who didn’t seem to mind. Mouse watched the way Todd looked at the cat, stroking it, almost in a trance.

“Jared would probably let you have a pet. He’s cool like that.”

Something like pain flickered across Todd’s face as he shook his head.

“Been there, done that.”

He set the cat down, but it just jumped back up a few moments later.

“Nah dude, not a good idea.”

Mouse was as curious as the cat in Todd’s arms, but Todd’s tone said it was a closed subject, and his mood was darkening again, so the older boy just left it alone. Mouse left Todd in the living room watching TV, to go burn him some CDs for his friend to take home. When he came back, Todd was asleep on the couch with Evinrude snuggled between his arms and chest, purring away, her blue eye peeking out of the black face. Mouse pulled the afghan off the recliner he liked watched TV in, and covered Todd and the cat. The kid was sleeping fitfully - he twitched and moaned a couple times. Mouse frowned as he watched Todd sleep, even in dreams the kid had it rough.

Todd looked smaller and younger right now. Nothing like the scowling punk he portrayed normally. Mouse felt real comradeship towards Todd, thinking it will be cool to have someone near his age around. Enjoying the unique sensation of being the wise elder, Mouse covered up Todd again each time he tossed he afghan off. He must have been worn out, to sleep this deeply so quick. Mouse guessed that today had been the most activity Todd had since he moved in. He’d see Deek at Dinner, and talk to him about that. Talking to Todd, Mouse found he actually liked the kid…now that he had got to know him a little better than getting a sock in the nose. Mouse sat on his recliner and watched the TV on mute as Todd slept for the next hour, not waking up till the phone rang. It was Jared wanting Todd home for dinner.

Todd woke up to find he had crashed and Mouse had covered him with a blanket. He was a little embarrassed, but felt better. Mouse blew it off, and said he had been on the computer, mostly, and even napped himself. Mouse gave Todd a dozen CD’s he had burned for him. Just before he left, Meg came in and handed him a huge bag of cookies and gave him a hug and kiss. He didn’t know how to react and just froze…it was all he could do not to flinch. In the last month Todd had been touched, hugged on, and handled more than he had in the last few years. It was overwhelming, spankings not withstanding.

* * * * *

Todd was very quiet that night at dinner, although he had seemed in relatively good spirits earlier in the day. Something was really wearing on his mind, and he acted agitated and distant. Jared got the same old tired response to his queries: “Fine.”

“Ansley, something has been stewing behind those brown eyes since you got back from Mouse’s. Did anything happen down there?”

Giving Jared a negative shake of his head, Todd answered with Jared parroting him at that same time, “I’m fine.”

Doubtful about how hard to press, Jared let Todd off the hook - not that he believed Todd for a second! Something was going on in that young mind, but for now, Jared backed off. He had other things to talk over with Todd. Finishing his dinner first, Jared put his plate in the washer and turned to face the boy.

“Okay, Ansley. Keep your secrets…for now.”

Todd just rolled his eyes in the ancient teenage symbol of annoyance.

“I need to finish some work in the study. Come in when you’re done with your dinner. I need to talk to you.”

Todd nodded his head solemnly. It took some doing to swallow his food. Why did Jared want to talk to him, and why in study? Unless he was in trouble … again. 15 minutes later, Todd stood in the study doorway. Dread sat in his stomach like a lead weight. Looking up from his computer, Jared motioned Todd to come in.

“Finished your dinner…all of it?”

Sheepishly Todd sat in the deep chair in front of Jared’s desk and mumbled nervously.

“Most of it.”

“Filled up on Meg’s cookies, huh?” A knowing grin lifted Jared’s lips. Todd just shrugged.

“That’s fine…done it myself many times. We need to talk about something, kiddo.”

Jared recognized the posture that Todd carried at the moment. He knew too well the weight of possible doom. Sitting in a chair across from his older brother’s desk was seldom for pleasant conversation.

“Relax, Todd. I just want to talk. You’re not in trouble.”

Todd was greatly relieved to hear it, and he did relax some.

“There is something serious I need to talk to you about. It’s a touchy subject, but we need to talk about it anyway.”

Worried about the seriousness in Jared’s tone, Todd sat quietly staring at the floor and picking at his lower lip. Moving around to the front of his desk, Jared spoke softly.

“I’m worried about you. You’re not getting enough sleep at night… No don’t say anything. Todd, every night this entire week you’ve been up either sleepwalking or sneaking in the game room because you can’t seem to sleep.”

Todd’s face flushed scarlet. He moved to get up and leave, but Jared stopped him.

“Stay put. I know you hate to talk about it, and I’m sorry, but it’s become too much of an issue to let go of. Todd, I will not overlook your health…ever. And it’s just too damn bad if you don’t like it. I’ve called the doctor, and he has prescribed some sleeping pills.”

Deciding not to mention the antidepressants just yet, Jared chose to deal with the medication on a need-to-know basis - and right now, Todd did not need to know about it. The look of pure defiance sparkling in Todd’s brown eyes promised enough trouble over the one medication.

“There is one new rule.”

“Skippy! Only one?” Todd rolled his eyes dramatically, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Jared ignored him and continued.

“One rule, two choices. If you can’t sleep…too bad. You stay in bed anyway…no more prowling around or late night pool games. Or you come and get me, and if hot milk won’t work, the pills will. Glare all you want, Todd. I love you, and when your health is involved there is no debate. You will take these, the only choice you have is HOW you take them. That is totally up to you, if you get my meaning.”

Todd did. In the time since he came into Jared’s care, he found there were several ways to take medicine orally, and on his own was the most pleasant. Knowing Jared, the man would either beat his butt and make him swallow, or beat his butt then shove something unpleasant up it. Neither was much of a choice.

Sensing Todd’s withdrawal from the battle as he shuttered himself behind a cold wall of silence, Jared continued.

“You won’t have to take them every night, okay? Just each night after you sleep walk. We’ll try that first to see if it works. Starting tonight.”

Todd was not happy - not in the slightest - but he made no argument. Jared announced it was time for bed, and walked Todd, with a bottle of water, to his bedroom. Jared pulled back the bedding, and waited while Todd brushed his teeth with the ease and comfort of old habit. Todd was more than ready for bed. His brain was full…it had been a loaded day, and now having to take pills and the bad memories that plagued his thoughts since Mouse’s place, really began to gnaw on him and darkened his mood. A familiar anxiety began to grow inside. Normally, at times like this, he would immerse himself, hide in raves, hustling pool games, competing in motocross or any thing else that he could focus on to banish the memories and thoughts that haunted him. Right now, he did not have those options, and was beginning to feel the pressure inside build. As Jared let Todd get situated in bed, he told him that Deek had called earlier and invited them to go play some basketball tomorrow morning with Brian and some of his friends.

“I can’t go. I have case that needs my attention.”

Jared didn’t miss the disappointment Todd tried to hide.

“You’re welcome to go with Deek and Mouse. Brian said if you want to go tomorrow, I can just hook up with you at his house and we’ll have dinner there. You game?”

Todd could not believe his ears. Jared was letting him out of the building and to a park without Jared being present.

“Really… I can go?”

Walking over to stand next to the bed, Jared gave Todd an indulgent smile.

“Yeah, you can go. <sigh> I’m sorry I have kept you so confined…I’ve had reason, mind you, but I should have done something like this sooner and I’m sorry I haven’t been fair… to either one of us.”

Not sure what to say, and finding it still hard to believe that Jared would let him go, Todd just blinked up at him. Jared seemed uncomfortable with the way Todd was looking at him, so he yanked the coverlet over Todd’s head.

“Hey, I said you could go. Consider this a parole, and how you act on parole will determine what other privileges you’ll get down the road. So are you going or not?”

Propping up on his elbows, Todd jerked the coverlet down and nodded.

“Fuc…<cough>Hell, yeah.”

“<chuckle> I though you might. Deek said to meet him at his place at six.”

Todd didn’t even flinch at the early hour he’d have to rise for this. Jared said he had already packed one of his gym bags for tomorrow with some clothes for Todd to change into at Brian’s. It will be close to dinnertime when Jared would meet up with him there. Jared’s eyes narrowed skeptically.

“Are you cool with spending the day with Brian? He’s not as laidback as I am.”

“Who’s laidback?”

Todd tossed a pillow at Jared, who caught it easily enough to simply toss it right back…hard.

“Oooofha! Yeah, I’m cool. Dude, if it gets me out of here, I’d chill with the devil…”

Todd saw the flash of hurt in Jared’s face. He did not mean it the way is came out. Apologies never came easy to Todd - they just seemed to stick in his throat. Rarely did he even want to apologize, but this time he did.

“Whoa, dude! I didn’t…that’s not what I…”

Jared smiled sadly and raised a hand. He knew what the boy meant, and that he just wanted some air. He felt bad he had kept Todd so locked up.

“It’s okay, Todd. I know what you meant - it’s cool. Now here, take this.”

Jared offered the sleeping pill. Todd sighed heavily and popped it in his mouth. As he opened the lid to the water bottle, the cap accidentally flipped out of his fingers to the floor. It was totally unplanned, but the chance was there and Todd took it. When Jared bent to pick it up, Todd spit out the pill in his hand and flicked it across the room to land in the dirty clothes. He’d have to remember to look for it before Jared did the laundry. Jared was never the wiser, as he handed the cap back to a yawning boy.

“Not so bad, huh?”

“Nah.” Todd found eye contact hard.

Jared said ‘good night’ and left the room. Tossing and turning most of the night, Todd almost wished he had taken the pill. Dark memories chased away any possibility of sleep. Each time he did doze off, his dreams were riddled with nightmare images from his past. They flashed in his mind, images he desperately did not want to see or remember looped over and over like a bad show he was unable to turn it off or change the channel. His visit with Mouse unleashed some of his worst memories. It made his head pound. A sense of panic began to grow. Breathing became difficult. Todd needed to calm down, or he knew he’d lose it. Getting out of bed with a blinding headache, Todd headed quietly for the bathroom.

Jared was dragged from sleep. The house felt….awake. Todd must be on the prowl. Rolling over to squint at the clock, Jared groaned at the time. The brat should have been in a deep, drug-induced slumber. Remembering the chase for the lid to the water bottle, Jared felt stupidly gullible.

“Nice trick with the water bottle, brat. Let me show you what I can do with a brush,” Jared grumbled to himself with mild humor.

Planning Todd’s demise as he got out of bed, Jared headed out to hunt down his teenage prey. Todd’s door was open and the bathroom door was closed. Soft light from under the door glowed against the marble floor. Jared could hear the shower running. Frowning at the hour for a shower, Jared opened the door and a huge cloud of steam hit him in the face. Making his way through the humid air to the glass shower, Todd’s form could barely be made out within the steamed walls. Opening the shower door, Jared found the kid sitting down on the floor, knees up and had his hands laced behind his bowed head, still in his flannel bottoms.

“Judas Priest, Todd!”

Snatching a towel from the rack, Jared shut off the shower. Todd just looked up at him, eyes red and pain filled.

“ Go away.”

Todd’s voice was flat and despondent. Stepping into the shower, Jared let loose a rare curse when he got hit with the scorching water.

“Shit! Todd, what are you trying to do? Boil yourself to death?”
“Would you care?”

Jared ignored the ridiculous remark, and roughly grasped Todd under the arms and raising him up. He eased the soaked flannel pants off with no resistance, and abandoned them on the shower floor. Jared looked up to find Todd’s spiky lashes closed tight in a pained expression.

“Leave me alone, Jared.”

“Not a chance. What’s wrong, Todd?”

“Headache.”

It was not exactly a lie…Todd did suffer from a severe headache…he just opted not to mention that he also felt the crushing weight of what he only knew to call ‘tweaking’ and tried to block it or drown it with a hot shower… just not bothering to undress first.

“That bad, huh?”

“Nah.”

A dark scowl crossed Jared’s face as he stood up to his full height, eye’s narrowing…never a good sign so far.

“Is that a lie, Ansley?”

Todd was temped to blow it off, but the cool voice and intense green eyes boring into him caused him to weaken. It was like Jared could see right through him.

“Yeah.”

“I’m serious. Don’t do it again.”

Wrapping the towel around Todd’s bright red body, Jared pulled him out of the shower and into a hug, then began to rub him dry. His hands traveled up the stiff column of Todd’s neck and the tight muscles of his shoulders.

“Kid, you’re so tense. Your neck is so tight it could be rebar - no wonder you have a headache!”

Wrapped up like a burrito, Todd could do nothing but endure the massaging hands that kneaded his shoulders, neck and up to his scalp.

“You didn’t swallow the sleeping pill, did you?”

Jerked back from the bliss Jared’s hands were creating, Todd worked to think of an answer.

“Ah-ah-ah, don’t do it.”

Jared picked up the wooden bath brush off the counter, and brandished it at Todd, his eyes focused and intent.

“Think hard before you speak. You lie again, and headache or not, I will take a layer of hide off your ass.”

Defeated and unable to keep eye contact with Jared, Todd could not make himself risk that brush. Todd shook his head knowing the Tank was about to clobber him.

“Thank-you for the honesty. You do realize that by taking one now, you won’t be able to go tomorrow.”

The disappointment was so sharp, Todd had no voice to speak with. He only nodded sadly and felt embarrassingly close to bawling.

Putting down the brush, Jared guided Todd, still bundled up, to his bedroom. He sat the boy down on the bed.

“Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

When Jared returned moments later, he found Todd in a dry pair of flannel bottoms. Todd looked up at him with a mixture of misery and apprehension.

Jared sat down on the bed, and without any words hauled Todd over his lap and yanked down the flannel bottoms. He waited for Todd to fight. All Todd did was fist his hands together in his comforter and lower his head to wait. Satisfied Todd was expecting and seemed to accept his fate, Jared brought his hand down very hard, and did not stop until the stoic boy began to show signs of serious discomfort.

Todd tried to take what he knew was coming, but it was really hurting! Tears prickled his eyes, and he couldn’t help kick a little and roll his hips. A couple more well placed strikes and Todd was done playing big man, his hand shooting back to protect him from further painful swats. As always, this did no good. It was more instinctual than helpful. Jared just pinned the hand back, and spanked harder than before…it was amazing to Todd that each session over Jared’s knee seemed worst than the one prior.

“Ow! Okay, okay! Ouch! Stop…Jarrrreddddah…shit…fuck…sorry, sorry, ouch, stop…I’ll take them, okay …I fucked…messed up…I’m sorry…ouch - shit that hurts…stop, please!”

Surprisingly, Jared did.

“It’s suppose to hurt, Todd. You will take your pills when I tell you?”

Two sharp smacks stung each cheek.

“Yes! Yes, alright!”

“I will not mess around with you on this, Ansley…not when it comes to your health or well-being…am I understood?”

Painful spanks punctuated his point, Todd bellowed his understanding…he was close to promising to pop a pill every hour, if need be, as Jared’s large, hard hand stung his blazing backside.

“Ow, shit! Yes…oooowah….yes…understood…UNDERSTOOD!”

Todd was let go after a few more swats. He jumped up off of the lap and yanked his bottoms up before the Tank could change his mind. Jared stood up, grabbing hold of the sullen youth, and pulling Todd into a quick hug. Todd reached back to rub. That really stung, and it had only been a warning. Todd knew he got off very easy. He’d been a little prick all night - all day, really - and grudgingly admitted he’d had it coming…still resented Jared for it some, though. He sat quickly on his bed, trying to play down how much that spanking had hurt.

“Here, drink this.”

Jared handed Todd a large glass of hot milk. At Todd’s wrinkled nose he added mildly, “Either drink, or no basketball tomorrow - or rather, later this morning.”

Todd was surprised that the trip was still an option! He chose the drink, and began to take long sips. It wasn’t bad.
Jared pulled up a chair. There was something different with Todd tonight . . . something was not right with the boy.

“Want to tell me what’s going on with you tonight?”

Spiky lashes narrowed over the rim of the glass. Jared cut Todd off before he could lower the glass.

“Okay, dumb question. Don’t tell me you’re fine, or that nothing is bugging you. I won’t be blown off, Todd. Talk to me.”

Todd seemed to grow smaller before Jared’s eyes…more distant. His head was bowed and his hair hid his face. Out of pure impulse, Jared reached out and brushed his hand through the dark silky hair, tucking some behind Todd’s ears…not much could be helped about his overly long bangs. Surprisingly, Todd allowed the little intimacy.

“Little overdue for a haircut, huh?”

Todd said nothing, just nodded as he studied his hands.

“Don’t shut me out, Todd…please.”

Chapter 22

Y2K12 Index

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© Copyright Frostspinner August 15, 2003