THE GARBAGE COLLECTOR IS
NOT STEALING OUR STUFF.
I DO NOT NEED TO SUDDENLY
STAND STRAIGHT UP WHEN I'M LYING UNDER THE COFFEE TABLE.
I WILL NOT ROLL MY TOYS
BEHIND THE FRIDGE.
I MUST SHAKE THE RAINWATER
OUT OF MY FUR BEFORE ENTERING THE HOUSE.
I WILL NOT EAT THE CATS'
FOOD, BEFORE OR AFTER THEY EAT IT.
I WILL STOP TRYING TO FIND
THE FEW REMAINING PIECES OF CLEAN CARPET IN THE HOUSE WHEN I AM ABOUT TO GET SICK.
I WILL NOT THROW UP IN THE
CAR.
I WILL NOT ROLL ON DEAD
SEAGULLS, FISH, CRABS, ETC.
"KITTY BOX
CRUNCHIES" ARE NOT FOOD.
I WILL NOT EAT ANY MORE
SOCKS AND THEN REDEPOSIT THEM IN THE BACKYARD AFTER PROCESSING.
THE DIAPER PAIL IS NOT A
COOKIE JAR.
I WILL NOT CHEW MY HUMAN'S
TOOTHBRUSH AND NOT TELL THEM.
I WILL NOT CHEW CRAYONS OR
PENS, ESPECIALLY NOT THE RED ONES, OR MY PEOPLE WILL THINK I AM HEMORRHAGING.
WHEN IN THE CAR, I WILL NOT
INSIST ON HAVING THE WINDOW ROLLED DOWN WHEN IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE.
WE DO NOT HAVE A DOORBELL.
I WILL NOT BARK EACH TIME I HEAR ONE ON TV.
I WILL NOT STEAL MY MOM'S
UNDERWEAR AND DANCE ALL OVER THE BACK YARD WITH IT.
THE SOFA IS NOT A FACE
TOWEL. NEITHER ARE MOM & DAD'S LAPS.
MY HEAD DOES NOT BELONG IN
THE REFRIGERATOR.
I WILL NOT BITE THE
OFFICER'S HAND WHEN HE REACHES IN FOR MOM'S DRIVER'S LICENSE AND CAR REGISTRATION.
I WILL NOT PLAY TUG-OF-WAR
WITH DAD'S UNDERWEAR WHEN HE'S ON THE TOILET.