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| Me... |
| It's difficult, I begun to know who I am really, but sometimes I see me, there, deep inside another Winona that is trying to let her out... All right. Let's go. I've had a very happy childhood, even without my father, with my mother trying to give me everything I needed to grow up in the best way. I'm not talking about things, she introduced me, since I was a 4-5 years old child, to music, theatre, art, and I'll never thank her enough. That world became my refuge from my inner unsatisfaction, that is still chasing me Yes, because I tried hard to deny life to myself. I've never loved myself, I'm still trying to understand why. The first thing is about my aspect. I'm quite normal, not beautiful but neither ugly, and yet I've always felt ugly and this made me hide from the rest of the world. I hadn't many friends, I wouldn't search for them, feeling that I did not deserve them. I took refuge in books, I discovered new worlds, but of course it wasn't the same. I didn't like me, and I didn't believe in my soul, in my heart, in my talents. Everything I did, it didn't satisfied me, I saw so many people better than me (now I know that most of the times I exaggerated...) I couldn't believe that somebody could show interest in me, I always wondered why a boy should stay with me. The relationships didn't last long... |
| Now I'm older, I finished my studies (Arts, specialization in Cinema), I'm working, and I'm trying to cope with all my insecuritites. Because I know that, in spite of everything, I've got strength, a strength that comes out when I don't expect it. I'm learning to cope with my "normality", even because I've understood that it isn't normality. I'm Mediterranean and from my Mediterranean ancestors I've inherited two characteristic, very important to me, alas too much neglected here these days: passion and sensuality. I'm a really passionate soul, and I follow my heart, always. Often I suffer because of it, but I don't mind, it's worth while. I enjoy sensuality everywhere: my hands moving while I speak, the sun caressing warmly my skin, walking in the rain, the sea, the night with her blessed darkness, the sound of a voice, the curve of a mouth, places... I like it. I'm very curious, and I would like to know everything, to meet everybody, to go everywhere. I'm full of wonder, and still I can't see the day turning into night, an airplane in the air, feel the wind, or watch the stars without surprise at how it can be. I enjoy company, I like to be among people, to watch them, to hear them. And friendship is sacred to me. I could do everything for a friend, but too many times I have been deceived. But I still believe in it. |