He was bored. There was no other way to put it. The guys had left for a club two hours ago. He hadn't felt very well and the idea of a club didn't sound appealing at all. So they had left without him and now he was bored. He paced around the room, trying to find something to do. The television had nothing good to offer and the hotel's pool was closed. He sighed and looked at his laptop on the table. He had already replied to all his emails.

He sat on the chair and turned on his laptop. He had never been in a chatroom by himself and now that he had the time, he thought he could try it. Sure, as a Backstreet Boy, he had been into chats. But as Howard Dorough, he had never been. He logged on and stared at the screen for a few minutes. He didn't know where to go. He surfed around until he found a link to a chatroom.

He joined it and stayed silent. He watched the animated conversation with interest. He was waiting for the right moment to voice his opinion, feeling vulnerable with all those unknown names. Before he could say anything, someone sent him a private message. Not sure about what this person wanted, he replied shortly, giving the usual info he knew people asked in a chatroom. The other person turned out to be a 24-year-old girl from Tennessee. He found out she was a fan of Eminem, she couldn't stand Britney and Christina and the whole boyband crap wasn't too bad but it wasn't her cup of tea. Howie had to smile at this one.

Before he knew it, they were talking like old friends, joking about the simplest things. She confided to him about her boyfriend, what was going wrong between them and he gave her his opinion about the whole thing. He liked to be just a regular guy. And she was very friendly. At one point, she asked him what he was looking for into someone. Who he would fall in love with. Surprised at first, he started describing what he liked into someone. When he was finished, he read the whole thing again and something clicked in his mind. He had described Nick perfectly. Every point was related to Nick.

" Oh my god!" He said to the empty room, realising his true feelings for Nick. And it scared the hell out of him.

He blinked at the screen, not believing his own words. The girl he was talking to was panicking when he didn't answer right away. Feeling a deep connection with her, he didn't want to tell her what he had just found out. She was a fan of Eminem after all. When she asked him what was wrong, he decided to go with the truth. He told her and at his surprise, she took it well. She let him talk, confess his fear about this new revelation.

He kept talking with her for hours. He didn't hear anything when AJ yelled into the hall. He didn't hear Kevin trying to calm the wild man. He didn't hear Nick knocking at their adjoining room, too engrossed in his conversation. Nick opened the door and peeked inside, wondering if Howie was asleep.

" Howie? Why aren't you sleeping?" Nick asked, walking in the room. Howie jumped nervously in his chair and quickly closed the windows on his computer. Nick stopped moving and eyed Howie suspiciously. " What are you doing?"

Howie glanced nervously at his computer. " I was chatting. I didn't hear you come in."

" Oh. Mind if I crash here again tonight?" Nick asked, flopping down on the bed. Howie wanted to say yes, he minded. He wasn't sure it was a good idea. Not with the new feelings he had inside.

" Sure. You know I don't mind." Howie said and silently cursed his heart for talking instead of his mind.

" Great!" Nick said cheerfully. He stripped out of his clothes, keeping only his boxers on. Howie swallowed and tried to look away. But he couldn't. He was seeing Nick with new eyes.

Nick didn't wait for Howie. He climbed into bed and felt asleep immediately. Howie didn't have a chance. He climbed into his own bed but he couldn't sleep. His eyes never left Nick's face. He was curious, wondering if he even had a chance with the young man. He sighed and stared at Nick until he felt asleep.

When Howie woke up, Nick was already awake and moving around cheerfully. He jumped on Howie's bed and started shaking him happily. Howie groaned and tried to push him away but Nick was faster than he was.

" Nick, get off me!" Howie snapped as Nick kept bouncing on the bed. Nick stopped abruptly, hurt by the tone in his friend's voice. Howie immediately felt bad for being so rude. " Look, I'm sorry…" He said, trying to apologise.

" Fine." Nick said coldly, gathering his things around the room. " You never minded before." He said, walking back to his room and closing the adjoining door.

" Shit!" Howie said, closing his eyes in frustration. He didn't mean to push him away. He opened his eyes and saw his laptop. He went to the table and turned it on, wondering if his friend would be online.

Nick sat on the bed in his room, feeling lonely. He should have stopped before making Howie angry. He shouldn't have left like that. He knew it was immature, but he couldn't help it. Around Howie, he wasn't thinking. He wasn't thinking like he used to when alone. Howie was his rock. Howie was like home. Sweet and caring. With Howie, Nick knew he would always be fine because Howie was his home.

Nick sighed and paced around the room. He knew he could walk back in the room. Howie would welcome him with open arms. Howie was like that. But Nick was stubborn. His pride wouldn't let him go back, not yet.

" Fifteen minutes is gonna be cool enough." Nick said, smiling to himself.

Sure enough, fifteen minutes later, Nick was walking back into Howie's room. He thought he would find Howie getting ready or watching TV. But he found him at his laptop, engrossed into a conversation. Nick sat on the bed and waited for Howie. He waited until he realised they were almost late for the group meeting. Not seeing Howie moving, save for the typing on the keyboard, Nick went back into his room to get ready.

" Howie? You're not ready yet?" Nick asked, walking back into Howie's room thirty minutes later. Howie jumped in surprised and minimised the window.

" I think I lost track of time" He said quietly, rushing to the bathroom. He carelessly put some clothes on and joined Nick who was in the hall. Nick looked at him curiously. It wasn't like Howie to lose track of time.

The day was going normally for everyone but Nick. He felt useless and ignored. He could swear Howie had been avoiding him. Nick was hurt. He and Howie were always together when they weren't in front of camera. The sudden distance between them was like losing his friend. Nick tried to search in his mind for what he had done to make Howie distance himself like that.

Sighing quietly, Nick looked around, searching for Howie. They were having a down time and everyone was sitting somewhere around the room. Brian was on a chair, his eyes closed, probably dreaming about LeighAnn. Kevin was talking quietly on the phone and by the look on his face; he was talking to his wife. AJ was nowhere to be seen. Nick was pretty sure he was flirting with a girl somewhere. The last person he saw was Howie, sitting in the corner of the room, laptop on his knees and typing furiously.

He sighed and ignored the fact that Howie usually never brought his laptop with him. They never had enough time in their busy schedule to work on it between two meetings. Somehow though, Howie had found the time to be on his computer a few times that day.

" Hey Howie! What are you doing?" Nick called.

Howie barely tore his eyes away from the screen as he answered.

" Talking with a friend." He said absently, not paying attention to anything in the room. He didn't see the look in Nick's eyes.

" Okay." Nick whispered, not admitting to himself that he was jealous. Someone else had Howie's attention. Now Nick was left alone and he felt empty.


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