Nick tried to act as if nothing was bothering him about Howie. It had been a week that Howie had been glued to his computer and was barely leaving it except when it was for a concert, an interview or to eat. And still, sometimes he was eating in front of his computer.

Nick made no comments about it because he thought it would pass. Howie would get sick of talking with virtual people. Nick didn't see the appeal of it and was hoping it would stop. That Howie would stop and be his friend again. So he stayed around, waiting for every single moment he could get with Howie.

" Hey D! You should have seen this." Nick said laughing as he walked into Howie's hotel room.

" What?" Howie replied distractedly, his eyes never leaving the screen.

" Brian was chasing AJ in the hall wearing only his boxers because he was locked outside his room and AJ had the only key." Nick chuckled and fell on the bed.

" Funny." Howie said and smiled weakly.

Nick looked up and sighed. If Howie had looked at him right then he would have seen the sad look in his younger friend's eyes. But he didn't.

" Guess you had to be there." Nick said, defeated.

He stayed a few minutes longer, listening to the sound of Howie's fingers on the keyboard. Hearing Howie giggling every now and then. Wishing he were the one making him giggle. But he didn't have that chance anymore.

Tired of it and getting frustrated, Nick left the room, closing the door violently. He did smile when he heard Howie say 'Sweet Jesus' through the door because of the loud sound. In fact it was very satisfying. He knew he'd had to do it again.

Howie stared at the door for a few minutes, his heart beating madly in his chest.

" What's wrong with him?" He said out loud.

Howie couldn't figure out why Nick had left like that. He hadn't said anything wrong and didn't realise it was exactly why Nick had left. He shrugged and went back to his conversation with his friends.

In the last week, Howie had made lots of new friends. The girl he had talked with had directed him toward a gay chatroom on IRC. He could never thank her enough. He was now free to talk about his feelings with people who understood him. He did flirt with some men but nothing more. He didn't like the idea of cyber sex and was avoiding it at all cost.

Another week went by and Howie was barely seen without his laptop. The other guys noticed but didn't think anything of it. They assumed Howie was working on something for the Lupus Foundation and that it was very complicated. Nick on the other hand was getting more and more frustrated.

" Yo Nicky!" Brian said cheerfully as he sat beside Nick on the couch in the hotel lobby.

" Don't call me Nicky." Nick mumbled, glaring at his friend. Brian stopped smiling and observed the younger man.

" Okay, what's wrong?"

" Nothing." Nick replied quickly, without conviction.

" Don't give me this crap. What's wrong with you lately? We can barely talk to you, you're always glaring at everyone or ignoring us. You want to talk about it?"

" No. Look I'm fine. Everything is completely fine. Don't mind me. I'm Nick and I'm worthless." Nick said as he got up and walked away.

Brian stayed still, stunned. " What the heck was that?" Unfortunately, no one was there to give him an answer.

Nick walked in his room, kicking everything lying on the floor. In this case, his clothes. He looked at the adjoining door in his room. He and Howie had once again got adjoining rooms. The door hadn't stayed open in the last two weeks. Nick looked at this mess he called his room, then at the door. He thought about it for a few minutes and made a decision. He walked to the door and knocked.

The door opened and a smiling Howie appeared.

" Hey Nicky, what's up?"

Nick stared at him speechless. Howie was smiling. Howie was smiling at him. He wasn't in front of his laptop. Nick smiled back.

" Wanna do something? Go for a walk?" Nick asked and held his breath.

" Sure. Let me grab my wallet."

Nick's smile grew wider and he ran into his room, grabbing his own wallet. He couldn't describe the happiness he was feeling at this moment. He and Howie would be alone. No laptop, nothing. Just he and Howie.

Howie, in his room, looked at his laptop as he was grabbing his wallet. He silently cursed the thing because it was broken. Now he'd had to face Nick. He'd have to face his feeling toward Nick, alone, without anyone to help him. He'd have to get a new laptop soon or he'd go crazy. To be with Nick and not be able to confess his feeling were too much.

Nick walked into Howie's room, a big grin on his face and Howie couldn't help but grin too.

" You're ready?" Nick asked, now only few inches away from Howie. Howie swallowed and nodded. "Great!" Nick grabbed Howie's arm and dragged him outside the room, in the hall, all the way smiling like a kid on Christmas Day.

In the lobby, they walked in front of Brian who was still sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper. Nick waved to him, grinning and forced Howie, who was laughing, to follow him outside the hotel. At the same time AJ walked in, crossing Howie and Nick's path but being ignored by both of them. He spotted Brian and walked to him.

" What's up with Nick? I haven't seen him that happy in the last two weeks."

Brian shrugged and tore his eyes away from the door where he had tried to find the same answer.

" I have no idea. This is weird. And Howie wasn't attached to his laptop. Weird."

Both men looked at the door another time before shrugging it off and going back to their own occupation.


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