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There are no hard and fast rule or any particular ORDER
that we follow to inform ourselves with these reviews, we make ém and stack
ém up in here , And So our heart felt SORROWS goes to the following most pathetic movies of our time .. |
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THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR I have got to stop renting movies from FROCK BUSTER video , The 1999 version of the Thomas crown affair was uniquely bland to the enth degree , this movie was like the bacteria that grows on a cockroaches back compared to the original 1989 version which far surpasses this movie, it was as if the script had been stolen but because of printer problems there were huge blotches in the movie for example a good story . This movie was also lacking alot of mischief and with unlike the original which made it quite a worth while movie to see . Pierce Brosnan wasn't the best choice to use for this movie because all though Pierce Brosnan has got alot of style his James bond character is strictly government only , this movie really needed a mischief like character to better express the word 'Affair'. I seriously do not know what John Mctiernan was thinking when he woke up and thought he could try to copy the original Thomas crown affair , as the saying goes you can't beat the original .
I rate this film Public execution
number one , for charges of trying to copy an original .
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TITANIC After I had watched this movie, I was begging that someone would go back in time and prevent the sinking of the Titanic, not to save lives (who cares about a bunch of humans, anyway?) but to prevent the outcome of this movie. It was long, over-rated, boring as hell and seem to defy all sorts of logic to please stupid audiences or to arouse those hopeless romantics out there that even if a ship does sink, you might be lucky to fall in love. You might die, but who cares? For those people who absolutely have no idea who or what the titanic is, here's the history: Around 1912 there was a ship that was claimed to be the biggest ship in the world, and it was to make a cross Atlantic trip from merry old England to the seedy world of New York. Along the way, it hit a iceberg and sunk. Some idiot forgot to think that it could happen, and thus there were inadequate safety boats around, so a lot of people froze or were food for fish. Then Hollywood got a idea: lets make millions out of a tragedy, only lets star the cutest hunk on the world and the most busty woman in the world, slap a script on it, make it three hours long and spend $100 million dollars on the whole damn thing. Thus, Leo ' Decappicino' and Kate 'Whinelet ' come along as this: he is the dashing traveller, she is the beautiful woman promised to a man for money. They see each other, ignoring the fact that the captain is shagging the stewardess right in front of them, she has a breathing attack that causes her chest area to prove once and for all that she IS a woman and his face loses color to make his eyes look more mysterious (or is that the fact that he's looking at a whole lot of corseted breast?). Now here's why I hated this movie: they hardly said anything entertaining! All it was "Oh Jack!" "Oh Rose!" and not a lot in between. The fact that they're trying to have an illicit affair while the whole ship is full of spies and they manage to end up shagging in the back seat of a car! (Although I'll give em credit for the car scene: it's so cliché that it works well.) The effects were ok, but I wanted entertainment, not shim-sham romance with a lot of silence and not a lot else. This movie sucks. And to prove it to you how bad it is, ask any 12 year old girl what their favorite movie is and it will be "Titanic". Ask them what their favorite singer is and they'll say "Britney Spears". Need I say more? |
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VALENTINE Like the classic ship titanic that was going down and nothing could ever save it so was the movie valentine the only difference was this movie has no style no creativity and reminds me of a cheap ass brothel that charges a buck a fuck to low ass perverts that probably never got laid since the end of world war 2 I do not know why this movie isn't in the porno section in frock buster video this movie was only good for one thing - a TOSS ,you really didn't have to see the whole movie to work out who was going to die who was going to be the killer and who was going to be the one that would leave the cinema in disgust . If you really want to know what this movie was about , well let me sum it up , Its basically about a few rich pricks that happen to be drop dead gorgeous that would rather have a barbie doll relation ship then some real friends then suddenly complain about stuff like , I broke a nail , wheres my nail polish , hey thats my tacky out fit , then they get killed buy some one in the past that they made fun of at the age of 12 , how pathetic .
I rate this film : get out the cheap
booze I want to forget this crummy movie
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Rattatoe Sydney Australia  |
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CUT I would be lieing to you If I
told you this was the best movie ever made and nothing can beat it , Well as
you can tell I am THIS was the WORST movie ever made , it has a degrading
story poor actors and a stupid ending to sum it all up this is worse than
garbage status , how ever there were some good points ,the ending credits
for example they seemed to know how to spell,
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SPICE WORLD For those lucky few who were blissfully in a coma during the world craze of the Spice Girls, you might've been fortunate to have missed this movie. However, if you wanted to remain hip with your friends at the time, you might've been dragged (by hair, no doubt) to see this movie. I'll be nice: this movie should've been burned, the singers/actors should've been shot down and the people who marketed this movie should've been charged like the CEOs are being charged with right now. Because this movie sucks. For those who simply don't have a clue who the Spice Girls are, I'll make it simple: five wannabe superstars came together to try and sing (and do a bad job at it) round about in 1995.The manager got this crackpot idea to market the 'band' to all the little girls and the pubicent boys to make money. And lots of money was made from these girls. So much money that it should've been given back to the people to pay for the psychiatric treatment they needed after the craze finished. The movie is simply about these girls as they go about their daily lives of being oh-so-famous. That's as much as I was able to get, because then the movie just flies out the window of reality. Nothing makes sense, the comebacks are as bad as a monkey on a piano and the acting is shoddy. This movie made too much money, and I personally think that the girls should be ashamed of themselves and let the people watch them be publicly punished. (Execution would be a kind thing.) If you want to keep your sanity, do not watch this movie. If you do, make sure there is a window you can jump out of, because this movie is suicide. Reported By : |
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SCARY MOVIE 2 Scary Movie 2, what can I say , If there is one thing I hate its American Spoofs , no not poofs .... 'Spoofs'- but its just as bad. This poorly made movie was definately not worth watching, to tell you the honest truth I don't even know how I even survived watching it, I think I am mentally scared and to call this a comedy is just plain wrong , the only scary bit about this god forsaken movie was the crummy actors , acting like they could actually act , for use of a better word this lacked in every thing except for Crap it pilled up in this movie, It was if you could smell it from here to new England , If you really give a damn about the history of this movie and what its actually about I'll tell you ....
Its about a few over aged Teenagers (
which secretly aren't teenagers ) going into a haunted house to be scared
and brutally murdered but in the most try hard pathetic way possible ,
and the history.... thats even more
pathetic , Some fucken rich prick director thought it would be bloody
brilliant to combine all the other worthless pathetic movies in the world
into one bigger worthless pathetic movie . This movie was so bad, I
honestly think the US government should stop dropping bombs for the hope
of killing some people in the Taliban when all you have to do is Broadcast
this movie and you will wipe 'em all out .
I rate this pathetic excuse for a
movie: Public execution number one
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MISSION IMPOSSIBLE - 2 There is something that I do not like in movies, and that's sequels. Sometimes it works, just as the success of "American Pie 2" taught us. However, Hollywood likes to cash in on big stars and make movies that does'nt require more than 30 seconds of actual thought, which is usually a decision that you make when the movie starts is to either go to sleep or wait for the painfully short sex scenes that come up. People usually go for the latter, which this movie painfully lacks. But that's ok, because if you have'nt guessed by now, this movie sucks. Big time. Even with Tom Cruise smiling every five seconds, which by that point if anyone tried to smile at me I'd go ballistic and start stabbing people. Now the first Mission:Impossible was great. Full of espionage and secrets, it made for a good evening of fun and laughs and gadgetry. The sequel is like a McDonalds restaurant : you travel half-way around the world for something different, and you still get the same burger and fries and the annoying question "Do you want fries with that?".MI2 is exactly the same. Same plot, same quest to save the world, different girl the spy gets to sleep with. All in all, not worth the thoughts. Tom Cruise lacks alot of the action credibility. He was great in Minority Report, but in MI2 all he does is this weird thing with this neck every time he talked and always did this annoying smirk. The kind that aggravates you. If it does'nt aggravate you (Cruise fans not included) I admire you're quest to be a saint. When I left the cinema after seeing this movie, anyone that smiled ended up with a bad case of stomach bug, usually because of something they ate. I was usually running very fast from the food courts for a week before I was caught with assorted goodies in my bag: anthrax, laxatives, and quite a few other baddies. Hey, they were smiling. It's their fault. Honestly! Even Sir Anthony Hopkins could'nt save this movie with his brief appearance, and the whole cast could'nt save the day. People who thought his was a good action movie were either teenage girls with the hots for Cruise after seeing "Risky Business" or teenage boys with bad pimple complexion and a dorky kind of laugh every time they heard the name "Laura croft" and started drooling afterwards. The only reason I saw this was because I thought it would do the first one justice. It did'nt, and I'm sick of waiting for the jury to decide on the fate of this movie. My Verdict: guilty. And I get to carve 'em all up with my chainsaw, as my bag of goodies was taken away from me. Damn Reported By : |
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