< > < >> < > < > < > > < > > < >< > 

< >I want tell you about the town of Newport, Michigan where this is all based out of. They got three stop signs, one gay librarian, and one police car with a policeman, but when we got to the ‘Base of our operations’ there was five police officers in three police cars, and still one gay librarian, being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it.

<

>And they was using up all kinds of cop equipment they had hanging around the police officer's station.  They was taking plastic tire track, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and they took twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used in evidence against us. They took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to mention the aerial photography of the basement, where our “Base of operations” is located.

 

< > < > > < > < > < > > < > > < >< > One of the 27 8x10 Color Glossy Photographs

< > 

< >"Kid, we don't want any hangings" I said, "Mr. Dotson, did you think I was going to hang myself for getting caught by you?" Mr. Dotson said he was making sure, and paranoid Mr. Dotson was, cause he took out the toilet seat so I couldn't hit him over the head and get out, and he took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars throw out the roll of toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape.

< > 

< > Mr. Dotson was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that the Scandal staff, (Yes there are more of us! At Scandal), came by and with a few nasty words to Mr. Dotson on the said, bailed us out of jail, and we went back to our Base of Operations, did a web page update that could not be beat, and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

< > 

< > < > > < > < > < > > < > > < >< > 

Mr. Dotson comes into court.

< >We walked in, sat down.  Mr. Dotson came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down. Man came in said all rise. We stood up, and Mr. Dotson stood up with the twenty-seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures and the judge walked in sat down with the Seeing Eye dog, and he sat down, we sat down. Mr. Dotson looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty-seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and am paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry, cause Mr. Dotson had come to the realization that this was a typical case of American blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each on explaining what each one was to be used in evidence against us. And we was fined $50 and had to apologize to the WWF for being such a pain in the ass, but that’s not what I came to tell you about.

_______________________________________________________________________

< >We got a county down in Florida, it’s called Palm Beach County.   And during the prepresidential campaign, the candidates went down there to get inspected, detested incested neglected and hopeflully selected.

< >I went down to vote one day, back in November and I walked in to the voting booth and

< >sat down.  I got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my

< >best when I went in that morning. Cause I wanted to make my choice for prepresident the all

< >American way, man I to feel like the , I wanted to

< >be the all American voter, since every vote counted, and I walked in and I was

< >hungdown brungdown hungup and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things.

< > 

< >And I waked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper and said

< >"Kid, you got to punch this here hole out to vote for president."

< > 

< >I went into the booth and punched the hole out of the paper, then came back out and said to the voter guy, and I thought I’d be real cute, and I said, "I don’t think I did the ballot right.  I think I voted for Snoopy instead of Al Gore.  I wanna vote again. I want to vote, I wanna I wanna

< >vote.  Vote. I wanna I wanna to keep voting till Al Gore wins.  Sue the other candidates all the way up to heaven. I mean revote, revote,REVOTE,REVOTE!!!" and I

< >started jumpin up and down yelling REVOTE REVOTE, and he started jumpin up

< >and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling "REVOTE!  REVOTE!".And then Al Gore came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the

< >hall, said “That’s a good idea.  Thanks for it".

< > 

< >Didn't feel too good about it.

< > 

< >Proceeded on down home to watch CNN and see all the candidates getting all sorts of inspections, detestions incestions neglections and selections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' on the TV there, and it was there two weeks, three weeks, four Weeks…  It was on there for a long time going through all kind's of mean nasty ugly things and I was just having a tough time there and they was inspecting every single part of the election, and they was leaving no part untouched. Proceded through courts and legislatures….   And when it finally came to the see the Supre me Court, I walked down to see Al Gore, seeing as I started this whole mess.  I walked in and saw him after this whole big thing there, and Al Gore walked up to me walked up to me to get my opinion, and I told him he was on crack, and he looked at me and said ' "Kid, I  only got one question. Have you ever been arrested?"

< > 

< >And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Scandal

< >Massacre, with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like

< >that and suddenly he stopped me right there and said "Kid,did you ever

< >go to court?".

< > 

< >I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty-seven

< >eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and

< >the paragraph on the back of each one, and he stopped me right there

< >and said "Kid, I want you to go and sit over there on that bench called G W.  NOW!".

< > 

And I walked over to the bench there ,and there's G W, named after the opposing candidate, which is where they put you if you may not be moral enough to be in the pre sence of Al Gore and his campaign, let alone be president.   There was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people standing around the bench there.  Lawyers.  Spin Doctors. PTC MEMBERS! PTC MEMBERS sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible censoring-type guys sitting bench next to me. And then Joseph Lieberman, the meanest nastyest uglyest one, the meanest PTC Member of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' nasty 'n' ugly 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said "Kid, what ya do?".

< >

I >said "I didn't do nothing, I got caught before I took a single picture". He said "What were you arrested for?". and I said < >"Trespassing at a WWF Event". And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and a hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said "And I was the one who first said ‘Revote’.". They all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about censorship, backstabbing, court appeals, and all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench.  And everything was fine, we was eating candy and all kinds of things, until it was time for the press conference, and  Al Gore came over, had some paper in his hand said.

 > 

< >we-wanna-know-details-of-the-appeal-time-of-the-trial -and-then-every

< >kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-election-wanna

< >know-the-voting-official’s-name-and-then-every-kind-of-thing-you

< >gotta-say", and talked for fourty-five minutes and nobody

< >understood a word that he said, but we had fun reading the appeal

< >and playing with the pencils on the bench there, and I filled out the

< >massacre with the four part harmony, wrote it down there, just like it

< >was, and I put down the pencil,and turned over the piece of paper, and

< >there there on the other side.

< >In the middle of the other side.

< >Away from everything else on the other side.

< >In parentheses.

< >Capital letters.

< >Quotated.

< >Read the following words :

< >"Kid, do you advocate censoring wrestling?"

< > 

< >I went over to Al Gore and said "Al, you got a lot a

< >just sittin here, sittin on the G W bench cause you want to know

< >if I'm moral enough to talk to you and your backstabbers, censors, and whiny lawyers after being caught at a WWF event.". He looked at me said "Kid, we don't

< >like your kind , and we're gonna send you fingerprints off to

< >Washington, cause I’m the Vice President and I can.".

< >And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little

< >folder, is a study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the

< >only reason I'm singing you this song now is cause you may know

< >somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a similar

< >situation,and if your in a situation like that there's only one thing

< >you can do and that's walk into the Democratic Party Office wherever you are, just

< >walk in say 

" We can find Scandal in anything we want, even Stone Cold’s truck."  

And walk out. You know, if one person, just one person

< >two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both

< >gay and they’d try to put them in jail. And three people , three, can you imagine, three people walking in sing a bar of the Scandal Massacre and walking out. They may think it's an organization. And

< >can you imagine fifty people a day ,I said fifty people a day walking

< >in sing a bar of the Scandal Massacre and walking out. And friends they

< >may thinks it's a movement.

< > 

< >And that's what it is , the Scandal Anti-Revote

< >Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it

< >come's around on the guitar.

< > 

< >With feeling.

< >So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and

< >sing it when it does. Here it comes.

< > 

< > 

Hey, it rhymes.  Sorta.

>We can find Scandal in anything we want, even Rikishi's Butt. < >We can find Scandal in anything we want, even Mick Foley’s Gut. < >We’ll make it up if it’s not true, < >Cause that’s what REAL journalists do! < >We can find Scandal in anything we want, even Edge’s nuts.

<

< > 

< >That was horrible. If you want to elect the president and stuff you got

< >to sing loud.

< > 

< >I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I

< >could sing it for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud...

< >... or tired.

< > 

< >So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part

< >harmony and feeling.

< > 

< >We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

< > 

< >All right now.

< >We can find Scandal in anything we want, even K-Kwik’s Mutt.

< >"excepting ourselves"

< >We can find Scandal in anything we want, even Rikishi’s Gut.

< >We’ll make it up if it’s not true,

< >Cause that’s what REAL journalists do,

< >We can find Scandal in anything we want, even Mick Foley’s Gut.

In Scandal, the truth is what we want.

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