I really get annoyed at watching commercials.  The Green Party doesn't think that there should be any commercials on tv.  I don't think that the problems is the commericals, but how commercials are presented.  That's why I came up with some ideas on how to make commericals cool!  Here's just a few of some some of the commercials that I came up with:

 

Hey guys, do you have problems with your balls itching? That's the same problem that I have had. My balls would itch so bad, I would scratch them until they got irritated. I tried spraying Tinactin on my balls. All that did was make my balls sting like Hell and it failed to cause my balls to stop itching. The people who make Tinactin are a bunch of lying assholes and their product doesn't work. I then decided to see my doctor and he wrote me a prescription for Lotrisone. Lotrisone is an anti-fungal cream available only by prescription and when I put it on my balls, it gave me a tingling sensation and it made my itchy irritated balls feel so much better. If your balls itch, see your doctor. Now, the doctor will look at and fondle your balls, but as soon as he is done, he will write you a prescription for Lotrisone, so it will be well worth it!

Now here's another commercial that would be interesting to see:

I ain't like a lot of people who have ever had a chance to fall in love with and be close to someone. Throughout my entire life, the best sexual experience I ever had happened when I was 12 years old when a Catholic Priest had sex with me. Since then, all of the people that I have fallen in love with have all turned out to be assholes. The last person I was with gave my syphilis. I decided to go down to Sex World and buy myself a vibrator. When I got home, I took that vibrator and stuck it up my ass and it felt so good. It felt so good that that vibrator was about to give me an orgasm that was better than I ever got from any of the people that I was with, but then the batteries went dead before I was able to cum all because I decided to be cheap and use the bargain brand batteries. Since then, I use Energizer batteries in my vibrator. My vibrator is my best friend and I believe that my best friend should be treated well by only giving it the best batteries available. Energizer, do you have the bunny inside your hole!

I believe that if a commercial doesn't create some controversy, then it ain't any good. With that in mind how about a commercial for an abortion clinic:

A lot of abortion clinics give you that feeling it's only OK to have an abortion clinics and the counselors will tell you that they will accept whatever choice you make. Here at the "Good Riddins to the Baby abortion Clinic" we believe that having an abortion is something that you should be proud of! When you have an abortion, you help save our planet from overpopulation and the world we live in sucks, so your baby will thank you for it later by not having to be born into this world which is nothing more than a cesspool of shit. We at the "Good Ridden to the Baby Abortion Clinic will not put up with this law that requires that a woman wait 24 hours before she can have an abortion. We will break the law. As far as we're concerned, Tim Pawlenty can go fuck himself because abortion is beautiful! "Good Ridden to the Baby Abortion Clinic" has 5 metro locations with our new location opening soon in the Mall of America and as soon as you are done with your abortion, you will think about all the money you will save by not having the baby and you can go shopping because abortion is a wonderful thing!

Well, I've done enough commercials. I would like to see Beavis and Butthead do a commercial for laxatives. The commercial begins with Butt-head walking into the bathroom when he notices Beavis sitting on the toilet and Butt-Head says:

Hey Beavis, you've been sitting on the toilet for over 2 hours now.

Beavis: Hey Butthead, I have pains in my abdomen and I'm trying to poop a big turd out my but, but it won't come out.

BH: you are constipated . you are going to have to take a laxative dude. I suggest that you use Ex Lax.

Beavis: I don't need to relax, I need to take a dump

BH: no dumb ass, you take a laxative, so you can Uh, like take dump and stuff:

Beavis: I am the great Cahoolio and I took some Ex Lax and it felt like I was going pee pee out my bunghole.

BH: Ex Lax is cool!

I am now going go let Marilyn Wiggles do a public service announcement and then a commercial:

    When I was growing up, my family and the people in my church were all pro-lifers and I felt that having an abortion was wrong. My sister is also a pro-lifer who had 9 babies and she is living deep in poverty and she is a total white trash cunt. Despite that, I believed in the sanctity of life and having an abortion was simply just wrong. I then ended up getting pregnant and I felt that because abortion was wrong, I just had to "have the baby". I then thought about myself turning out to be like my sister and I slipped into a deep depression. I was at the Mall of America and saw all the neat stuff they have that I will never be able to afford. I had gotten so depressed, I was going to buy some rope at the Mall of America and hang myself. While walking through the mall, I saw a place called "Good Riddons to the Baby Abortion Clinic". I went in there and they scraped that fetus out my twat in a jiffy! I have been so happy since I had an abortion! With all the money I saved by not having the baby, I went out and bought me a new computer with a DVD burner, which is so much nicer than having kids. I then went to the Humane Society and adopted a cat because having a cat is so much nicer than having a brat!

Abortion, what a wonderful choice!

Marilyn has 1 more quick commercial to do:

I was once on the rag and I decided to be cheap and use the bargain brand tampon.  The tampon was not strong enough to absorb all my period clots, so mentrual blood was running down my leg.  That's why I started using Tampax!  It makes that time of the month something to look forward to.

See, capitalism doesn't have to suck. If commercials could be like the ones I read, capitalism would be cool!

My vision goes beyond what the coummunists believe.  The communists wouldn't like my coummercials either, so fuck the communists too!  Having a vision means questioning everyone and everything.  With that in mind, let's go back to Pat's 2003 vision of the world page and read some more good stuff!