EVIL WEATHER
I am sure that I created controversy last time when I talked about abortion. There is a saying that the best way to avoid controversy is to talk about the weather. Well, that's what I plan to talk about it and talking about the weather will create controversy before I am done talking about it! I sure am glad that summer is almost over because I hate summer very much. I can't wait until the weather gets very cold and I can't wait until the temperature goes below 0.
I don't know why people bitch and complain about the weather being too cold in the winter. The weather is supposed to be cold in the winter. The weather is also supposed to be cold in the summer! That's because I hate hot weather and I hate hot weather with a passion. Some people actually like hot weather even when the dew points are sky high. 1st of all, I would like to say that people who like hot weather are fucking assholes. Also, people who like hot weather have shit for brains. Also the mothers of people who like hot weather should have had abortions. Also, people who like hot weather should be shot!
Now, some people might say that if someone happens to like hot weather, shouldn't they be entitled to their opinion? Uh, no! That's because hot and humid weather has been forced down my throat because other people happen to like it. That's why I ended up living in Florida is because other people like hot weather. I tried unsuccessfully to stop my parents from moving from the Chicago area to Florida. I was really pissed off when they decided to put the house up for sale. Whenever people would come by to look at the house I would tell them that the house was on a flood plane and I also told them that the electrical system of the house sucks and you can't even run the vacuum cleaner at the same time with another appliance without a fuse being blown. My parents were pissed off as Hell at me for doing that. I had every right to tell those people that the house sucked. For 1 thing, I was telling the truth. That in itself should count. Another thing is I didn't want to move to Florida. 1 day some people came over to look at my parents house and I was so pissed I was using lots of profanity in front of them and told them that the house sucked and they would never want to buy it. After they left, my mother was so pissed off at me, she told me that I was moving out, even though I had no place to go. She started by trying to disconnect my VCRs, but she didn't know how to.
I was so desperate to stop my parents from moving to Florida; I even tried using witchcraft to stop them from moving there. I burned a candle to stop them from moving there and while I was burning the candle, my hair caught on fire and my attempt at doing the spell was unsuccessful and that really sucked. Another reason I am so pissed off at people for liking hot weather is my so-called "friend" Greg duped me into moving to Florida. He told me that I am crazy for not wanting to move to Florida because he had his head up his ass. He thought that living in Florida meant sitting at the pool and drinking pina coladas all day. It's not! Greg had also never been to Florida, but somehow he knew that it would be so much better than Illinois. While I was duped into believing that Greg was really my friend, I told him that I would miss him if I moved to Florida. He told me that me he could write me letters. I also figured that I had ran into a rut living in Illinois that maybe I should give Florida a chance and I was actually looking forward to moving there. Greg told me that I would so much happier after I moved there. YEA RIGHT!!!
It was on Thanksgiving 1986, which was my 1st day of living in Florida and it definitely something NOT to be thankful for. For the 1st time in my life, I experienced weather that was too fucking hot on Thanksgiving and if that's not all, the fucking dew point must have been around 70. I couldn't believe that the weather could get that fucking hot, horrible and disgusting on Thanksgiving. It didn't take long for me to realize that I had been duped bigtime and I really get pissed off when I get duped by someone who tells me that I should do something, even though it will fuck up my life. I also HATE it when someone decides to should on me. Greg told me in letter that moving to Florida was a big change for me and it would take some time getting used to it. As time went on, I kept telling Greg that I wasn't getting used to it and I was discovering a new thing each day as to why Florida sucks. I noticed a couple of months had passed and Greg never sent me a letter and I came to the realization that he decided to stop writing me and that was after he told me that he would never stop writing me. I was really pissed off at him for duping me into moving into Florida. Then he decided to stop writing me too!
Another thing that I hate about people who like hot weather is they are so fucking arrogant is they think that I should live in hot weather without air conditioning just because they happen to like it. A lot of times when the weather was too fucking hot out, I would turn on the air conditioner at my parents house and they would tell me that they air conditioner wasn't needed. Yes it was! They would also go in and turn the air conditioner off because they didn't think that I would notice. They also bitched about the electric bill being too high. Well, people who can't afford to pay for air conditioning have no business living in Florida.
I also constantly hear about people who have "Seasonal Affective Disorder" because they get depressed on cloudy days. I say Fuck Em! I too have Seasonal affective disorder, but it's a different type of seasonal affective disorder. When was the last time you heard about someone having seasonal affective disorder because they can't stand hot weather? No one cares about my seasonal affective disorder, so why should I care about theirs. You never hear about the trauma that people go through which is caused by hot weather. In case you didn't guess, my seasonal affective disorder is I hate hot weather and it really drags me down, especially when I had to live somewhere where the weather is hot year round.
At least I got to learn a lot of valuable lessons from living in Florida. For 1 thing, I learned that Florida sucks. I also learned that hot weather is evil and it comes from Satan, especially when the dew point is high. I can prove that hot weather comes from Satan. It is Satan who caused Korey Stringer to die because he had to do all that rigorous activity in that hot disgusting evil weather, but the media still glorifies heat and humidity with all kinds of propaganda, especially in Florida. Did you ever notice how lovely the smell of vomit is when it bakes in the hot sun? Not to mention the smell of dog shit and rotting garbage. Another lesson I learned from living in Florida is not to take nice weather for granted. Because of my parents, I had nice weather stolen from me for over 7 ˝ years of my life.
The good news is this is Minnesota and this long, hot horrible disgusting summer will soon come to an end and I can't wait for the 1st real cold front to come through that will cause high temperatures to be in the 50s, but better yet it will be so nice once the temperature goes below 0. Another major lesson I learned from my 7 ˝ years of pure Hell in Florida is you need to be so thankful that you live in Minnesota, instead of Florida and besides, when the temperature goes below 0, you won't have to worry about being bitten by any mosquitoes.
Yes, I need to tell the world that hot weather is fucking horrible and it is very important to bring an end to global warming which comes from Satan, because Satan likes it hot. Let's go back to Pat's other ideas for his vision of a nicer world