LIFE AFTER LAURA INGALLS
As I said before, I am interested in my spirituality and the meaning and purpose of my soul. The last time I spoke, I talked about being Laura Ingalls in my previous lifetime. When I was a young child I was extremely shy and afraid, probably because I got sent back to this world of stupidity because of all the mistakes I made when I was Laura Ingalls. I tried to be as good as I could to and be squeaky clean, so I was in the process of repeating the mistakes that I made when I was Laura Ingalls.
For 1 thing, I was going to a Baptist church when I was a kid. It was on March 3, 1974 I decided to accept Jesus as my personal savior. What made me decide to do that? Well, I was told that I would go to heaven. Another thing is that I thought getting saved would cause my life not to suck anymore. For a while my life actually was nice and smooth and tranquil. How amazing and Jesus performed a miracle! Guess how long it lasted? It lasted for 8 days before shit happened to me again. Before that 8 days of peace came to an end, my parents were proud of me for getting saved. During that time I went for a walk with my mother on the Illinois Prairie Path, when I happened to notice that someone had spray painted the letters "FUCK" on a building. My mother told me that was a sign of declining values and morals and that meant that the world was going to come to an end and I actually believed her. .
After those 8 days of peace, shit happened to me for the first time since I was saved. I got into fights in school and my parents treated me like shit again. That was a letdown. Despite that, overall, things were still better for me than they were before I was saved. The people at that Baptist church told me the importance of leading other people to Jesus. They told me that I should tell the other kids that I was going to school with the importance of having Jesus in their lives, including the bullies who picked on and tormented me. It was unconstitutional to talk about religion in the public schools, but my Sunday school teacher wanted me to do it anyway. I also wasn't interested in bringing bullies who tormented me to Jesus. The reason I decided to be saved is because I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I would be going to heaven, while those bullies would 1 day be burning in Hell because bullies are the lowest of low scum.
As for being saved, it was gradually losing its meaning in 1975. My father had doubts that I was saved anyway because I strongly questioned a lot of things and rebelled and I was too weird and my father would say shit like "your not really saved". Also when I was first saved I actually enjoyed hearing about how Moses rescued the slaves and all that crap. As time went on, Sunday school was becoming more and more boring. If that wasn't enough, some of the kids in my Sunday school class turned out to be snotty little bastards who were stuck up. This made me start feeling quite disillusioned about what "good" Christians they really were. If that's not enough, the "sweet little angels" in my Sunday school class were shooting spitballs at me. I couldn't take it any more and stopped going to Sunday school.
That was also when I was in the 6th grade and I was getting picked on and tormented worse and worse at school and discovered that a lot of those bullies who picked on me are born again Christians. Remember 1 of the people who Eric and Dylan decided to take care of when they did their thing at Columbine! Anyway, that really destroyed my faith of the joy of thinking about bullies burning in Hell like I so strongly had hoped for. These experiences really gave me doubts that God even existed. It was also during that same time frame that I was watching "All in the Family" and I saw an episode in which Archie Bunker got into a major argument, with Mike over believing in God. Archie called Mike an atheist pinko meathead. The atheist meathead asked Archie Bunker a very important question. He asked, "if there is a God, then why is there so much unhappiness in this world?" Archie could not think of an answer, so he decided to ask Edith and Edith had a hard time coming up with an answer too, but she thought of this 1. Edith's answer to the question was, "the reason why God exists with so much unhappiness in this world is because when we get to heaven we'll notice the improvement."
From all the bad experiences I had really caused me to loose faith that God even existed at all. While I was going to that Baptist church when I was a kid, I had an aunt who died and she was a Catholic. My aunt was pretty nice, but my Sunday school teacher told me that my aunt is burning in Hell because she was a Catholic. I also found out that the Baptist religion is against lesbians and gay people. If God is against lesbians and gay people, then why did he create them? I began to believe even stronger that there was no God.
I then found out about more "liberal" churches that supported lesbians and gay people. I decided to go to those churches in hopes of finding answers, but I didn't find them to be much more helpful than the conservative churches and there were so many stupid rituals at those churches too.
When I was living in Florida, I found a church that I liked in a lot of ways called "Church of the New Age Gathering". For 1 thing, they had more intelligent and empowering philosophies that I never heard anywhere else. That was also the 1st church that I ever went to that believed that you shouldn't have to wait until you croak in order to find happiness. I found that to make a lot of sense. What I really liked about that church is almost every week, someone would bring in doughnuts to eat and I really enjoyed that! The bad thing about having doughnuts there would attract a lot of undercover police officers! Anyway, the Church of the New Age Gathering ran into financial problems and it bit the dust.
After the demise of the "Church of the New Age Gathering" I went looking for other places for answers. I found a lot more bullshit than anything that was good. I found out about a church that may be right for me. Ever heard of the "Church of Euthanasia"? I found out about them on the inter-net and they are located in Boston. That is 1 big reason that it pisses me off at not being able to afford to live in Boston. The people in this church are a bunch of weirdoes, which is my kind of church. They have demonstrations and carry signs like "eat a queer fetus for Jesus." With the Church of Euthanasia, people only have to obey 1 commandment instead of 10 and their only commandment is, "though shall not procreate" and anyone who decides to have kids will be excommunicated from their church, however, if a woman gets pregnant, she will be forgiven as long as she has an abortion! Again, that is my kind of church! That Baptist church I went to would never approve of that church! What I would really like to find is a church that worships space aliens! This planet needs to be invaded by space aliens who will blow it up, but don't fret. The space aliens will rescue all the cool people on Earth and allow them to fly on their spaceships to a better world. The space aliens will also take all the cats on Earth on their spaceships. Don't worry, the space aliens will provide the litter boxes!
With all the horrible and evil bullshit going on in this world, I really gave up faith that there is a loving God, but I still want to find alternative churches. I would rather worship things that do give me hope, like cool people, which is extremely difficult to find. What I really like to worship is my cat. My cat sleeps with me and sits next to me and purrs. It's cats that give me some faith that there is some type of higher power, not organized religion, which is a bunch of bullshit. I am grateful to the young people here who enjoy what I have to say. It's things like that that give me hope that the world will finally get better someday.
Here is the website for the Church of Euthanasia, which is more interesting than al of other churches. I haven't been lucky enough to visit the Church of Euthanasia and don't know if I can agree with everything they believe in, but they sound very cool and alternative. Click here to go back to my vision of the world page.