Before I get to Pat's stories, I would like to tell you a little bit about Pat 1st. Pat told me that in his previous lifetime that he was Laura Ingalls. This may be hard to believe because Pat's writing style is somewhat different than Laura Ingall's writing style. Here's what happened:
For those of you who watched "Little House on the Prairie", you can suspect that Nellie Olson was a real stuck up fucking cunt. In her original novels, Laura Ingalls wrote about how she wanted bring Pa's gun to school stick it up Nellie Olson's asshole, pull the trigger, drink the blood as it gushed out of her asshole, and then have sex with her dead body and she mentioned that she was a fucking cunt on several occasions. Laura Ingall's also talked about how she constantly got yeast infections and she also had a very embarrassing experience when her husband was eating out her asshole during a sex act, while she had diarrhea. Laura lost control of her bowels and ended up shitting diarrhea all over her husband's face. Now, that was really embarrassing!
Laura Ingall's felt deep down in her soul that it was important to share her experiences (despite how embarrassing they were!) with the world because people needed to learn the truth from her experiences. Laura Ingalls' publishing company, however, did not like Laura Ingall's writing style and told her that writing about yeast infections, diarrhea, wanting to kill someone and using the word "cunt" was not "politically correct". Laura Ingall's felt deep down in her soul that she should have told that publishing company to take a flying fuck, eat shit and die and find someone else to publish her stories, but she allowed her self to be duped by these assholes, so she altered her writing style. Instead of telling it like it is, Laura was duped into telling it like it ain't.
Because Pat feels, so strongly that he was Laura Ingalls in his previous lifetime, I decided to create a link to a website, which talks more about her life. That website may talk about many of Laura's experiences that ain't mentioned on my website, however, there are experiences that Laura Ingalls had that have been censored, which are discussed on my website, which includes her diarrhea and yeast infections. Here's the website going into more detail on what Pat was like when he was Laura Ingalls: http://webpages.marshall.edu/~irby1/laura/life.html If you visit this link, you better come back to find out about Pat for Christ sake, because he was Laura Ingalls!
When Laura Ingall's croaked in 1957 she had to have a meeting with the Gods to decide if she would be able to move onto a better world than this one. The Gods said, "Mrs. Laura Ingall's Wilder, we see that you wrote novels that told it like it ain't and I am afraid that you will have to be reincarnated to live back on Earth where people are fucking assholes and you will face lots of suffering." Laura's response said "God damit, I was duped into writing stuff that told it like it ain't." The Gods said, "sorry Mrs. Ingalls Wilder, being duped by a society run by a bunch of fucking assholes is no excuse. You were suppose to create controversy and rock the boat in your life and you failed to do so. We sentence to let your soul float freely through the universe until December 1962 to give you a chance to do some soul searching over the mistakes you have made. After that, your soul will be sent into the sperm of some guy fucking his wife and you will get reincarnated as a person with a penis, instead of a pussy to make life more difficult for you. You will have to live in a very repressive society where people will treat you like shit for being different and you will be tormented and made fun of while you are going to school. People on Planet Earth have a very low consciousness, (which you failed to do anything about, I might add) when it comes to subjects such as bowel movements, sexuality and yeast infections. In fact, most people on planet Earth have their consciousness up their ass, but you had a chance to do something about that Mrs. Laura Ingall's, but you fucked that up.
Mrs. Laura Ingalls Wilder; you have a chance to redeem yourself in your next life. With the enormous amount of suffering and repulsive bullshit you will be facing, you will learn that is essential for you to write extremely vulgar and nasty stories and you MUST expose your writing styles to the world. Thanks to space aliens infiltrating the Earth because people are way too fucking stupid to have enough imagination, there will be a network of computers by the end of the 20th century in which you will have an opportunity to post your stories on something which will be known as the WWW, which will stand for World Wide Web by the end of this century. Get it right and tell it like it is in your next life, then you will be able to move onto a better world after you croak and if the consciousness of the Earth is not raised with your writing style, we will have space aliens invade Earth and blow it up."
In September 1963, Laura Ingall's was reincarnated as Pat D. Of course, Pat was very shy and scared while he was a young child because he was so scared about failing to live out his life the way he was suppose to when he was Laura Ingall's. Pat felt that he didn't fit in with most aspects of society because most of it was so fucking stupid. Things got worse when he went to school and he was picked on and made fun of by a bunch of fucking assholes. Pat was then placed in special Ed when he got into junior high which he didn't get out of until he was a junior in high school and his special Ed teacher was a real fucking prick who tried to coarse Pat into turning into a good obedient conformist or else! Because Pat had a twat in his previous lifetime, he enjoyed having long fingernails. Pat's special Ed teacher even told him that he deserved to be picked on too for having long fingernails! What a fucking prick. In many ways, Pat resisted, but because of that prick he had for a teacher and assholes he had for parents. Pat resisted, but not enough and I am afraid that he was duped into turning into a conformist asshole in some ways. Pat had come a long way since he was Laura Ingalls, but it wasn't enough.
When Pat was lucky enough to get out of Planet Earth's shit infested school system, he had to face getting a job. Because greedy money grubbing corporations were so into downsizing on shit infested planet Earth of stupidity, Pat had a difficult time at being able to get and hold down a decent paying job. The best he was able to do was get a job that paid minimum wage, which is better than no job, but that still fucking sucked. In 1988, Pat took a workshop, which involved some writing and he had to read what he wrote outloud to a group that he was in. Thankfully, by that time, Pat had learned enough from the mistakes he made when he was Laura Ingalls to write in a unique way. A lot of people in the group were blown away with Pat's unique writing style and it was so simple with the way he wrote things, but so unique with such a weird sense of humor. People told Pat that he should be a writer and the rest his history!
Pat was sick and tired of working at minimum wage paying shit jobs, so he went to job counselors in 1988 and 1989 because he was still duped back then into believing that job counselors had some redeeming value and that was before Pat realized that most job counselors had their head up their ass and they are full of shit. Pat told the job counselor that he wanted to be a writer and she told him that he should go back to school and major in journalism. Pat realized that something was fucked up. He knew that if he could stomach going to 4 or more years of school, he might have a chance to work for some major corporation and make a lot more money than he was making, but he would have also have been ordered and instructed by the corporation what he can and can't say, which would have caused Pat to not only make the same mistake he made when he was Laura Ingalls, but he would have been so unhappy that he would have started smoking crack in order to cope with a society of puke sucking vomit which would dictate to him what he could and could not say.
The most insulting experience that Pat had with a job counselor occurred in Delray Beach, Florida, in August 1989 when the job counselor at the job service there told Pat that he would never be able to hold down a decent paying job because he said that he scored too low on their so called, "skills test" because he wasn't able to complete the test fast enough. Pat told that job counselor that he wanted to be a writer like Stephen King or Steven Spielsberg and he told Pat that he wasn't good enough to be a writer because Steven Speilsburg has a master's degree and Pat doesn't. God, that guy was such a fucking asshole! Pat felt very devastated because he was duped by that fucking asshole into believing that he wasn't good enough to experience his dreams.
In December 1989, Pat figured fuck it and he decided to not care what anyone says and he decided to write his 1st story, which was called, "Killer Queen", which is about a drag queen who comes back from the dead and kills a bunch of fucking assholes. Pat showed the story to some people and some people liked it and some people didn't like it, but he was amazed that some people did like it. In 1990, Pat was devastated when a group called "2 Live Crew" had their freedom of speech taken away when their music was banned in most parts of Florida. Pat wrote a story based on the "2 Live Crew" incident called "Fascist Fever". Pat ran into more fucking assholes who did not like "Fascist Fever" because he expressed too much hostility.
It was on April 22, 1990 that Pat met Joon and he told her about his stories, which he described as "gay horror stories" and Joon said that it would be something that she would be interested in reading. Joon was very impressed with Pat's story and found it to be so cool! Joon knew another guy who she felt would love Pat's story. His name is Russ and he lived in New York City. On October 4, 1990, Pat came to New York City for the 1st time ever and he stayed with Russ in New York. Unfuckingfortionately, Russ in New York turned out be such a fucking asshole. He was very rude, bitchy and mean to Pat, which was uncalled for. Russ in New York enjoyed Pat's story and Pat never had an experience before in which someone would be such a fucking prick to him, but would enjoy his stories. Russ in New York could not read Pat's story without smoking dope. Russ in New York was nice to Pat while he was reading his stories while he was stoned, but he ran out of pot, which turned him into such a mean nasty unpleasant sarcastic bitch. I need to make it perfectly clear that Pat is pissed over the way Russ in New York treated him, but Pat believes in giving people credit for their worthwhile attributes and qualities and Pat is grateful that Russ in New York has enough intelligence to enjoy his stories and appreciate alternative writing styles. What I can't understand is why didn't Russ in New York tell Pat that he could not only publish his stories, but have them made into movies and make millions of dollars? Also, if Russ in New York was not such a sarcastic bitch and had a more empowering personality, he and Pat could have worked together at getting his stories published, made into moves and make millions of dollars and if Russ in New York had helped Pat get rich off of his stories, Pat would have been more than happy to let him have a substantial chunk of his earnings!
Through out the 1990s, Pat continued to write additional stories and he is very grateful that his friend Joon enjoyed his stories! Pat got raunchier with each story he wrote and Joon enjoyed it when Pat wrote about cannibalism, necrophilia and diarrhea in his stories! Most women are prissy cunts who would be appalled at the things that Pat writes about, but not Joon. Joon really enjoys reading about diarrhea, especially when it's in bad taste because she ain't no prissy cunt!
It is now the 21st century and Pat is disappointed that he didn't get his stories published, made into movies and make millions of dollars and he still works at jobs where the pay is shit, but he feels strongly that that is still better than working for some major corporation having to get treated like shit and kiss ass and put up with all their bullshit and smiling about it, just so he could get a half way decent pay check. If Pat can't become a writer and make a living, he at least would like to do something that is in the arts because being an artist is what would make him the happiest and that is the purpose of not only Pat's soul, but my soul and Joon's soul too. I tell people that I want to make a living at being an artist. People then tell me that in order to be an artist that I need starve. This is my answer to anyone who tells me that I have to starve because I want to be an artist: "Now look you motherfucker piece of fucking shit! How dare you decide for me and shove your disempowering bullshit down my fucking throat and tell me that I need to starve. I ain't going to starve because of your fucked up disempowering fucking belief system. The next fucking time you tell me that I have to starve because I want to be an artist, I am going to eat at the all-you-can-eat buffet and I am going to overeat on purpose until I get sick and I am going to throw up all over your fucking face and that's not all! I am going to tie you up, swallow an entire bottle of laxative and shit diarrhea all over your fucking face you motherfucker fucking asshole!" See, I won't starve just because I want to be an artist and Pat won't starve either because he really enjoys eating at all-you-can-eat buffets and if he has to, he'll do what a lot of fat people do who are poor. Put the buffet on the fucking credit card damit because he won't starve!
Before entering our storytelling room, we need to make a disclaimer. A lot of people in Pat's stories are murdered. Pat does NOT condone the act of murdering people in reality, even in the cases in which the person who was murdered happens to be a fucking asshole, unless the murderer happens to be a vampire. Pat and myself does not condone any form of illegal activities. Our recommendation: Do NOT try anything in Pat's stories at home! Now, without further ado, let's go to the page linking to Pat's Stories Enjoy!