Chapter I: HE'S A VERY KINKY BOY

      Because John couldn't deal with his sexuality, and hated himself so much, he became a schizogayniac. The question to ask is, what happened to make John so fucked up?

       It all began in Chicago when John was 9 years old. John was feeling depressed, because he never had any money, because his parents were cheap bastards who wouldn't give him the money he needed to buy the things that would make him happy.

       One day, John was watching "The 3 Stooges" on tv, when his parents came in and changed the channel, so they could watch "The Lawrence Welk Special". At least that won't happen again, because he croaked. Well anyway, that really pissed John off because there was only one tv set in the house. Because of that, he asked his parents to buy him a new tv, so he could watch the shows that he wanted to watch, and they said, "no". John then said, "it makes me unhappy not being able to watch my favorite tv shows, so you can watch what you want to". His parents said, "that's tough fuckin' shit". John's parents told him that if he wanted to buy a tv set, he would have to save his allowance, which was a whopping $1.00 a week! With big bucks like that, he would only have to wait 3 or 4 years to save up the money.

       Because John had to wait so long to buy a tv, he felt like committing suicide, so he called the suicide hotline. This is What John said after they answered the phone: "My name is John, I am 9 years old, my parents are cheap bastards that won't buy me a tv set and I want to die". The guy on the hotline said, "your parents are scum, having a tv is essential for a child's development, but you don't have to kill yourself because of it. If your parents have to be arrogant scum fucks like that and be too cheap to buy you a tv set, then your mother should have had an abortion, but it's too late for that now, so you're going to have to make the money yourself". John asked, "how"? and the guy on the hotline said, "you need to go to the Greyhound bus station downtown and hang out in the bathrooms. While you are there, men may approach you and ask you to perform certain acts with them. If you perform the acts with them, they will pay you good money". John asked, "are the acts painful"? The guy on the hotline said, "not at all. In fact, you will probably find them to be quite pleasurable, but I have to warn you. Some of these men are tacky and have diseases, but don't worry, just go down to your local drug store and buy some condoms, so you can protect yourself". John asked, "what are condoms used for"? The guy on the hotline said, "Jesus Christ, do I have to explain everything? A guy puts a condom on his dick, so the stuff with the diseases in it will squirt into the condom, instead of squirting into you, so you won't catch any of those diseases". After John heard that, he said, "you mean to tell me that men are going to pee inside me"? The guy on the hotline said, "for Christ sake, it isn't piss that they'll be squirting into you, it is cum, which means a guy is at the peak of the pleasure that he will be experiencing with you. Why do you think they're willing to pay you a lot of money? Just perform the acts with the men in the bathroom of the bus station and you'll have enough money to buy a new tv set in 1 week". John said, "thank you for giving me a solution to my problem. I want to live"! The nice thing about the suicide hotline is, they can come up with good alternatives to suicide.

      John couldn't wait to experience having prosperity, so sure enough, he went down to the bus station and hung out in the bathrooms and men found him to be quite popular and he made good money too, just for having sex with them. John loved the drug dealers the best, because they were the most generous. To them, money is like water and because they were under so much stress, considering they constantly had to worry about being murdered, having sex with young boys helped them to relieve tension. One cocaine king pin paid John $500 just to fuck him. It was probably Noriega. John didn't like the Jews too well, because he felt that many of them were too cheap to pay him anything good. One Orthodox Rabbi with a long white beard was only willing to pay him $5 to fuck him. Well, John may have been cheap, but he wasn't that cheap! Thanks to the generous men, John didn't even have to wait a week. He made enough money to buy a real nice tv in just 1 day! He made $850 and he discovered that having sex with men in the bathroom of the bus station to be a lot of fun. It was so much fun, he decided to go back to the bus station again and again to have sex with men and make lots of money too!

        When John turned 13, he was still having sex with men in the bathrooms of the bus station and he made and saved up over $18,000 and that was just working part time! Then one day he made the fuck up that would turn him into a schizogayniac.

       Nobody knew that John was making lots of money by having sex with men in the bathroom of the bus station. He saw nothing wrong with it. In fact, he was so convinced that nothing was wrong with it, he decided to open his mouth (and it wasn't for one of the things he did in the bathroom either) and tell people how he got rich.

       He made the big fuck up during his junior high business class, after the teacher asked the students, "have you ever been an entrepreneur and what have you done to be an entrepreneur"? Someone said he sold lemonade. Another kid said he sold baseball cards and John told the entire class that he sold his body in the bathroom of the Greyhound bus station, downtown, for sex, with men. He also mentioned that he made over $18,000 doing it. After hearing that, everyone in class laughed hysterically, but his teacher was horrified, and that is when the shit hit the fan.

Find out how John got duped by a bunch of fucking assholes in Chapter II