I am going to talk about something that happens to everybody, which people don't generally talk about. I am going to talk about getting sick. Of course people mention getting sick, but they don't go into all the details. For example, throwing up. The 1st time I ever got to watch someone throw up was when I was in the 1st grade and it wasn't very enjoyable. I remember that was when everyone was just learning how to read and there was a reading table in the back of the room. A group of us were sitting at the table reading things out loud when this girl who sitting 2 kids away from me suddenly and abruptly threw up all over the table. I was traumatized from having to watch that and I still haven't been able to recover from the emotional scars that has caused me. I also found that to be totally disgusting, but we experience things like that in life to learn lessons. The lesson I learned from that is as I got older, it is better to talk about throwing up than not to talk about it.

     I at least was never misfortunate enough to ever throw up at school, but every time I would get sick, my mother would treat me like shit and that really pissed me off. I will never forget the last time I threw up. It happened on February 8, 1997. A day that will live in infamy. I was driving from Daytona Beach, Florida to my parents house in Boca Raton and I threw up about an hour after getting to my parents house. I left Daytona Beach around 1:00 in the morning and I felt fine when I left. Have you ever noticed that it is very rarely that you ever suddenly go from feeling wonderful 1 minute to throwing up the next minute? Before you throw up, you will go through a period of time in which you don't feel very well. I remember I had to stop and get gas in Stuart, Florida when I noticed that I was starting to feel queasy. That is not all that unusual. I usually feel queasy from something about once a week and most of the time it passes and I end up feeling better. I was not so lucky on February 8, 1997. As time was going on, my stomach felt more and more upset and that really sucked. I got to my parents place at around 6:30 in the morning and my stomach was very upset. I tried to go to sleep hoping that evil bullshit would pass. I got about an hour of sleep before I woke up at around 7:30 and my stomach was so upset, things had gotten to the point that it was inevitable that I was going to throw up. I really HATE it when that happens and it really pisses me off. Anyway, I got to the bathroom at my parent's house when I couldn't make it to the toilet, so I threw up in the sink and I got some of it on the bathroom floor. I then had to throw up some more, but at least I got it in the toilet. Have you ever noticed that when you are about to throw up, people put their hand in front of their mouth? Why do people do that? Is it going to make throwing up a more enjoyable experience? My mother asked me, what's the matter and I told her that I think I'm sick. I then went back to my room and got a little more sleep before being woken up again by my mother acting like a bitch because I got sick. Got all over the sink, floor blah, blah, blah.

     I had either caught the flue or I had gotten food poisoning, but I have no way of telling the symptoms are very similar and they suck. My parents treat me like shit when I get sick because they think that it's my fault when I get sick. Another thing that often follows throwing up is diarrhea. Now, supposedly, everyone will get diarrhea at least once in their lifetime, but I ain't so sure. I am so fucking jealous of anyone who has never had diarrhea. For those of you who have never had diarrhea, it involves the process of pooping out loose and repulsive stools and it involves having very painful cramps in your abdomen. A lot of times it feels like you are having thunderstorms in your intestines and pooping out diarrhea feels a lot like you are pissing out of your ass and it feels extremely icky. If that's not enough, the diarrhea will run down your leg while you are in the process of wiping your ass. Diarrhea is 1 of those things that make me so fucking mad. It is 1 of the most repulsive and evil things in the world and it comes from Satan.

     Have you ever noticed that diarrhea is a lot like the elephant in the living room? Everybody gets it, but no one talks about it, so why is it that I am the 1 who has the grueling humiliating task of telling the world about diarrhea? It's because I was Laura Ingalls in my previous lifetime. Laura Ingalls felt deep in her heart and her gut that she was supposed to write about diarrhea in her novels, but she chickened out, so she got punished by having to get reincarnated as me to live in this world of puke and diarrhea. If Laura Ingalls had written about diarrhea, people would hardly ever be getting diarrhea at all anymore. Writing and talking about diarrhea will create healing that will make it go away. If Laura Ingalls had written about diarrhea, people would have been open minded enough to write books on how to do creative visualizations and meditations visualizing the healing energy of white light taking all the diarrhea in the world and making it disappear. Now, that would be cool! I also noticed that talking about disgusting things makes it easier for me to get through life and creates healing. I wonder if any of you saw the episode of All in the Family when Archie Bunker had diarrhea? That's the episode that Maude was in and Archie asked Edith to bring him Kaopectate for his diarrhea, but Edith brought the Milk of Magnesia instead. Watching All in the Family gave me a feeling of healing because it is the 1 of very few TV shows that ain't a bunch of bullshit. It did an excellent job of dealing if real issues and a realistic and humorous way.

    Well, that's enough of grossing you out with talking about diarrhea. Let's talk about something better like getting a cold. I'm sure everyone gets colds. I noticed from my experience that there are 5 phases associated with getting a cold. The 1st phase of a cold is the beginning stage. It usually starts out with a lot of sneezing and a sore throat and it's feels very unpleasant. My nose usually gets very clogged up and the snot is very thin and watery and when I blow my nose, it doesn't do shit make me feel any better. The 2nd phase of a cold is known is the thicker snot phase. With this phase, I usually end up feeling very fatigued and get headaches, but I usually experience feeling better temporarily when I blow my nose. The 3rd phase of a cold the false sense of recovery phase. It is the time period in which I start to feel better and think that the cold is coming to an end, but it doesn't. The 4th phase of a cold is the bad cough phase. Sometimes I end up coughing uncontrollably and I really hate that. Finally, phase 5 is my favorite part of getting a cold, because phase 5 is the exit. During phase 5 is when a lot of thick green snot comes out when I blow my nose. That is my favorite part of getting a cold. It is during this phase that I have an irresistible compulsion to blow my nose. If I don't have a Kleenex with me, I blow my nose in my hand. Oh, don't tell me that I'm gross. Everyone enjoys looking at the thick green snot come out of their nose, but no one is willing to admit it. Then people will give me shit like I will be giving other people my germs by doing disgusting things like blowing thick green snot in my hands. That is total bullshit! The reason why snot turns green at the end of a cold is because the germs have died. The time when a cold is the most contagious is during the 1st phase. Germs really enjoy and they thrive on thin watery snot! I know what I talked about is pretty disgusting, but I am interested in healing my life and the 1st step in healing does involve talking about gross stuff.

I just love it when people talk about diarrhea.  That is so wonderful. Anyway, let's go back to Pat's 2002 vision of the world page to read more wonderful stuff.