My 1st spoken words performance at Balls in 2002 was on January 20, when I decided to talk about the events leading to me writing stories in which I talked about the movies, some TV shows as well well as Steve Dahl, who talked about some raunchy things while I was still living in the Chicago area. Unfuckingfortuneately, I didn't seem to get a reaction that I did such a great job with that 1 and that fucking sucks, but at least no-one gave me shit about it. I still decided to read the events leading to me writing stories part II on February 24. Part II went over a lot better than the 1st part did and it was a lot funnier. The difference between part I and Part II is in part I I talked about the entertainment, movies, music, TV shows, etc, that influenced my writing. In part II, I talked about personal experiences I had that influenced and leading to me writing my vile, vulgar and nasty stories. In fact, a lot of people found a lot of things that I said to be very funny when I read part II. On March 24, I read a piece at Balls talking about most of the stories that I have written and a lot of people found that to be very funny. It does make me feel good and give me hope knowing that there are people who actually enjoy what I have to say.
On Valentine's Day 2002, there was an erotic poetry slam at Kieran's Irish Pub in Minneapolis. Unfuckingfortuneately, I got there too fucking late in order to enter the contest and I was fucking pissed. They were at least nice enough to let me read a piece I wrote talking about why it's better to sleep with a cat than people and most people thought that it was cool!
On March 3, 2002, I read a piece at Kieran's Irish Pub in Minneapolis about what I would do if I was the governor of Minnesota, which I still never read at Balls. I did a lot of extreme ranting and raving and swearing about the things that piss me off when I read that 1. It is the most extreme piece that I have ever read. I don't know if I can go as extreme as I did with that piece at as I did at Kieran's. If I did read what I would do as governor at Balls, I would definitely have to edit it there because I have a 7 minute time limit there, while at Kieran's, I get 10 minutes.
Another thing I did in February 25, 2002 is I taped the piece I read about how to get Jesus to love you, while I was at Kieran's. I then taped the piece about what I would do as governor of Minnesota on March 3. On March 10, I read and taped the piece on what I would do if I could become president of the United States. Finally, on March 18, I taped the piece in which I talk about being Laura Ingalls in my previous lifetime. I need to tape more stuff and make it into my own CD. Unfuckingfortuneately, at this time, I only have those 4 pieces taped.
I already mentioned on my last page of the shit experiences I had at being able to get and keep a job because most corporations are greedy, arrogant money grubbing scumfuck assholes, so I decided to talk about How to get a job at Balls on April 14. Unfuckingfortuneately, it didn't go over as good as I had hoped that it would, even though there is plenty of humor and sarcasm in there. The same guy who enjoyed the piece that I read about my stories, told me that he liked it, but he didn't like it as much as the piece I read about my stories. He said that the piece I read about how to get a job was too toned down from the 1 I read about my stories. That is interesting! I have met a lot of assholes who think that I should tone down the stuff I read and write, but that would ruin it and turn it into watered down crap.
The next piece I read at Balls was on May 12, 2002, which is about creating prosperity and abundance in your life. I talked about Louise Hay's book, You can Heal Your Life and I get pissed off at people who create barriers to prosperity and abundance. Leslie Ball got in my face when I let my anger and rage to be directed at Barbara Ehrenreich who wrote the book Nickel and Dimed. At least she was nice about it. Leslie pointed out that the reason that Barbara Ehrenreich wrote the book was to point out at how these scumfuck corporations like Walwart treat their employees like shit and they are too cheap and greedy to pay their employees enough to live on. Leslie Ball pointed out to me that she Barbara Ehrenreich didn't go to Walmart to act more superior to people who work these minimum wage shit jobs, but to illustrated to a lot of people who may not know otherwise, how much life sucks when you don't get paid enough to even find a place to live, but still I prefer and respect people who can empower people to overcome these situations of shit and create abundance of the things they need in their lives.
Barbara Ehrenreich also talked about how difficult it is for single moms to make ends meat living on minimum wage I hate single moms and I hate pregnant women. I am sick and tired of breeders pissing and moaning about how difficult it is to raise kids, especially if they're poor. I have solution. If you don't have enough fucking money to raise kids, don't fucking have any!!!! Haven't any these fucking women ever heard of abortion? But that wouldn't be necessary if you had enough brain cells to use some creativity when you fuck. Here are some suggestions:
Try becoming a lesbian. If you allow yourself to fuck women or be fucked by women, instead of men you won't get pregnant and you might even enjoy it!
I know some women can't help it if they turn out to be straight. How about sodomy? Try sucking a man's dick. Have a man eat out your twat or have a man stick his Dick up your asshole. A lot of you will discover that getting it up the ass to be lot of fun. You will discover that having a Dick shoved up the same hole that your shit comes out of to be a lot of fun and you won't get pregnant, either. Oh! and by the way, if you allow yourself to get pregnant, you will face morning sickness and puking your guts out every fucking morning. Doesn't that sound like fucking fun? Also, there is so much propaganda that glorifies breeding, you may not even be aware of this, but do you know that while you are at the hospital getting ready to pop the baby, there is a good chance that you will end up having a bowel movement, while everyone there gets to watch! I hope that the doctor turns out to be a sick fuck who will take your excrement and rub it in his face, while he jerks off and I hope he ends up shooting his load all over your baby, while it is being being popped out of your twat! The moral of the story is: It is better to be fucked up your asshole than to be fucked up your cunt in which you will end up getting pregnant and end up taking a dump in the delivery room while everyone gets to watch!
Get sterilized! You can even then get fucked up the twat if you want and you won't get pregnant Yes, I agree that men should have vasectomies too!
Learn to feel good about your asshole for Christ Sake. There is a strong possibility that your asshole will smell like shit when a man decides to stick his Dick up or hole, so deal with it! Your cunt will probably smell worse anyway! Learn to deal with animal magnetism for Christ Sake. Don't you know how dogs greet each other when they fuck? A dog will walk up to another dog and smell the other dog's asshole and the male dog gets a stiffie by smelling the shit on the female dog's asshole, which will cause the dog to want to fuck the other dog. People should learn how to greet 1 another by sniffing each other's asshole. It can only make things better. I know that this causes dog's to breed, but I would rather have dogs breed than humans!
If you can not look at those alternative ways to fuck and have to get it up the twat, at least use a fucking condom for Christ Sake, so you won't get pregnant.
If you fuck up and fail to use a condom or if a condom breaks, emergency contraception is still an option up to 72 hours after a man shoots his load insider your twat. Emergency contraception will snuff the demon before it starts growing inside your womb. I will even make it easy for you. If you live in some right wing shithole small town where no store is willing to carry Emergency Contraception, you can order it by calling 1-800-584-9911. Hurry up! You only have 72 hours! There is even a website on how to get emergency contraception to snuff out that fucking demon before it grows inside your womb!
- Last but certainly not least and if all else fails, you can always have an abortion! Don't believe all the bad things that you have heard about abortion. It's all a bunch of negative shit! Abortion is 1 of the most beautiful things in the whole world and it is so beautiful to extract an unborn fetus from a pregnant woman's twat and watch it die!
I kind of agree with what Cartman from South park who says "poor people suck." Well, of course they do. Most poor people have nothing better to do than pop 1 baby after another. Then they piss and moan about how they don't have enough fucking money to take care of their kids. Also, these fucking breeders abuse and treat their kids like shit to help cope with the fact they are complete and total fucking losers. I am sick and tired of these fucking breeders who yell and scream at and even beat their kids because they are fucking losers. If you don't have enough fucking money to raise a kid and you end up getting pregnant and you happen to be a total piece of filth like so many poor people are, have the decency to have and an abortion and remember, if you have an abortion, your child will thank you for it later! Being aborted sure as hell beats being "raised" a abused by a piece of filth who will beat you, treat you like shit and destroy your hopes and dreams!
Now, I am not saying that all poor people are filth and trash, I do have respect for poor people who are interested in movin on up! For example, George Jefferson who did not allow a bunch of fucking assholes beat him down and destroy his hopes in dreams, which greatly increases your chances of becoming rich. That's why I did a spoken words performance about Creating Prosperity and Abundance, Part II at Balls on June 10, 2002. I mentioned that a good way to create wealth and abundance is by listening to Tony Robbins Personal Power tapes and CDs. It costs $249 to purchase Personal Power for Tony Robins, which is too dam fucking expensive, but the good news is there are file sharing programs in the inter-net in which you can download Personal Power for free. If you want to help eliminate poverty, don't donate food to poor people or Toys for Tots or any of that shit. Here's a MUCH BETTER suggestion. Instead of donating food to someone who is poor, how about taking your Tony Robbins Personal Power files that you have on your computer and burning it onto a CD. Then donate the CDs to charities. Oh, I forgot that a lot of charities are run by fucking assholes and may not accept the CD. Well, keep searching for a charity that might be run by cool people. I kind of believe in the idea that if you give a man a fish, you only feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for life. That is if we don't run out of fish. With the exorbonent amount of breeding going on, our lakes, oceans and streams are running out of fish and with the corporate criminal assholes who are running our planet are also destroying our environment is causing a lot of the fish to die.. Anyway, don't give any toys to the Toys for Tots program this Christmas. Instead, burn a CD on your computer and donate the copy of Tony Robbins Personal Power CD to a needy child! If the child would rather have a toy, tell him that until he creates wealth and abundance in his life, he ain't getting no fucking toys. Now, another thing. If you burn Tony Robbins Personal Power CD and donate it to the poor will cut into Tony Robbin's profits, but don't forget that Tony Robbins is already a millionaire and Tony Robbins has already mentioned that he is interested in helping people, so he will understand!
Hearing about poverty is so fucking depressing and I haven't had much luck at getting out of it myself, but I am still striving to create wealth and abundance in my life. I also don't go around sticking my Dick up women's twats and getting them pregnant. I have better things to do with my life! Thinking about all the breeding and shit that is fucking up this planet is way too fucking upsetting and depressing, so I decided to shift gears when I spoke at Balls on July 14, 2002 and decided to do a spoken words performance about something more uplifting like getting sick. I talked about an experience I had when I threw up on February 8, 1997. I even talked about what it's like to get diarrhea, but I know that you can relate to it because I know that even you get diarrhea once in awhile. I also talked about what it's like to get a cold too.
Unfuckingfortuneately, I was not able to speak at Balls during the month of August. 1st of all the Fringe Festival was going on in early August and only people who were performing at the Fringe Festival were allowed to sign up to perform at Balls in late July and early August. Then the National Poetry Slam was held in Minneapolis and only people performing in the National Poetry Slam were able to perform at Balls. The 1st day that I could have performed was on August 25, but unfuckingfortionately, I had other bullshit going on and I could not go that day. I could not read my stuff during the National Poetry Slam because that was already for people who have won from all over the country who were going to compete for the championship during the National Poetry Slam in Minneapolis. I have some issues concerning things like poetry slams, especially when I couldn't read any of my stuff in the 1st place. What did make the poetry slam a cool thing is there was a 21 hour open mike going on all the way from 6AM-3AM. When I went by there the 1st day August 14, there was nobody there and nothing going on, but I had figured they just didn't get it set up, yet. I came back for the open mike the next day (August 15)during the afternoon and there were a few people there. Unfuckingfortionately, I had to work that night and I didn't have a chance to read that night, but the people there were nice and there was free food there with sandwiches and potato chips. I came back at around 11PM after I was done with work and nobody was there, except the guy who was hosting the open mike, but the good news is there was still plenty of free food left. I wanted to read my stuff so bad and finally people started to show up at around midnight. Considering that a lot of people who were there were visiting from out of town, I decided to write a piece on how to find the right bathroom for people to take a healthy shit in, so people could have a more enjoyable time while visiting Minneapolis. I met a guy there who was from California who really loved what I had read! After I read that piece, he mentioned that he once took a shit while riding on a Greyhound bus. I also read the piece about me being Laura Ingalls in my previous lifettime too.
I couldn't wait to come by there to read more of my stuff on August 16. When I came by the cafe that was having the open mike that day, there was only 1 guy there who was barely able to speak any English who had his head up his fucking ass and he didn't know what I was talking about when I mentioned that a 21 open mike was supposed to be going on. Another woman came by asking him about the open mike and when he was so fucking stupid not to know what the fuck was going on, she bitched him out. She told me that there was a nerd poetry slam going on and I should head on over to that, seeing that something fucked up with the open mike. A lot of the nerds there decided to read about how much they liked Star Wars and Star Trek and things like that. They had only a 1 on 1 competition between a guy who was a nerd and a girl who was a nerd. While the other nerds read about Star Wars and Star Trek, I decided to read mine about the weather. During most poetry slams, people are only allowed to read read for 3 minutes, but the piece I had read was a 10 minute piece, so I had a struggle at bringing that down to 3 minutes at the sperm of the moment. I did mention how I like to keep records of the weather and I mentioned how much I hate hot weather. I also mentioned that I enjoy putting images on my weathersheets and I mentioned that when the weather is too fucking hot out, I wanted to put an image of a turd in front of the sun to describe the weather conditions when the weather is too fucking hot out. I mentioned that I decided to put an image of Satan in front of the sun, instead on days when the weather is too fucking hot out, but I also mentioned that I cut out a very tiny piece of the image of the turd and pasted in the sun along with Satan, but the piece of the turd is so tiny that you can't see the turd. The guy who hosted the nerd slam dressed up in a superman costume and mentioned that what I read was interesting, but disturbing, but it was definitely very nerdy. I did win against the nerd girl who I was competing against and unfuckingfortuneately I can't remember exactly what she had read, but I think that it might have been about Star Trek or Star Wars. I won an Empire Strikes Back book with pictures from the movie, which I don't have much interests in, but I think that I will give it to my friend Tony who lives in the Chicago area, if I don't fucking forget.
I also forgot to mention that there was also a fucking cover charge to even watch the poetry slam. The "official" finals for the poetry slam was held at the slam was held at the same place that had the nerd slam and I was able to get out of paying to get into watch it, because I was already there. When that was over, another place was having another final and I didn't want to pay a fucking $10 cover charge, so I went back to the place that had the 21 hour open mike and there was a sign on the door that they had canceled it. I was so fucking pissed off! Those fucking bastards decided to cancel the only thing that I was looking forward to! 1 of the many fucking excuses that was used is they decided to have the open mike about a mile away from where all the poetry slam events were being held at, which caused a low turn out. There were some other people who were pissed off about the open mike being canceled and they wrote some nasty stuff on the note too. Someone walked a mile in the rain to get there only to find out that the fucking assholes decided to cancel the open mike because their planning was shit! The only good thing about the fucking National Poetry Slam was the 21 hour open mike that they fucking canceled and the nerd slam. The rest of it was a bunch of bogus fucking bullshit. The 2003 National Poetry Slam is going to be held in Chicago and I ain't going. Fuck them! I might go, if I happen to selected and win something somewhere. Things went over pretty good when I read at the Erotic Poetry Slam on Valentine's Day about beating off in front of my cat. The thing that makes poetry slams is it gets into all the other patriartical bullshit that makes this society suck so much, but I still think that it should be considered as a possible path to bet my career at being a spoken words artist or comedian started.
I was finally able to read at Balls on September 15, 2002 when I talked about how music has changed since the 1960s and of course has gone down hill so bad since the 1960s. Unfuckingfortuneatley there weren't a lot of people there and I don't usually get a good response or a lot of laughs when a lot of people don't show up. I also mentioned how most mainstream radio stations suck. On October 20, 2002 I decided to read my piece at Balls about how I can't stand love ballad and all that whiny love shit music that has become so popular now days. I also came up with my own "love" songs, which would make listening to them a lot more enjoyable!
It was also on October 20, 2002 that I found out that Leslie Ball had been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. She said that it is a very treatabel form of cancer and her chances of surviving it are very good. On October 22, 2002 she had to go into the hospital for surgery to remove the cancer. At this point, it is too soon to tell how well the surgery went. I do pretty much like Leslie, but I don't know if I can completely trust her. When I did my 3rd performance on January 21, 2001 when I talked about computers, there were a couple of people who noticed that she was being disrespectful towards me and Leslie says that nothing that anyone performs is every screened or censored, but someone told me that she does censor people and she is a control freak. An example of that may be when I did my performance on May 14, 2002 when I attacked Barbara Ehrenreich for her Nickel and Dimed book, but I do consider that to be a minor issue. When I attacked Barbara Ehrenreich, I may not have known what I was talking about and 1 thing I am against is being a bullshitter. If someone lets me know that I made a comment that was not true when it comes to attacking someone for being a prick or a cunt, I will permanently delete that from all future spoken words performances everywhere, not just at Balls. There are already way too many bullshitters in this world and I do not want to add to it. I will not totally eliminate my attacks on Barbara Ehrenreich. It still pisses me off that she has not come up with any real solutions to the Nickel and Dimed issues in the 1st place. It may be true that the person who told me things about Leslie may not know what the fuck he is talking about, but then again, maybe he does. 1 thing that bugs me is I wanted to perform for 2 weeks in a row and Leslie wouldn't let me, saying that it would inhibit the chance for other artists to perform, but I have seen some people perform for 2 weeks in a row. What seems to be more true here is if Leslie doesn't support censorship, she deffinately seems to support favoritism and will support artists who she happens to like over someone like me who talks about nastier and more extreme subject matter. Leslie also mentioned that she likes it when someone can perform commedy who can be funny without being explicit. Those are not her exact words, but it does come close and it does kind of bug me. Now, if anyone reads this and then goes out and tells Leslie that I said all this "horrible" shit about her and will most likely take it out of context, I will get very pissed off. I do NOT hate Leslie! I am not interested in attacking Leslie, but expressing my honest feelings. I have been fucked over and betrayed by so many people makes it difficult to trust anyone and to be perfectly honest because I have been hurt so many times from so many people makes it difficult to send support to other people. I would like to be able to 1 day discuss my honest feelings with Leslie to avoid any bad feelings between me and her.
With the way things are in this fucked up world, people can not be divided when it comes to fighting for justice. Leslie thinks that George W Bush is a fucking asshole, which I admire very much. Leslie is also strongly opposed to George W Bush invading Iraq, which is only so the cowboy king can enhance his oil accounts at the expense of blowing up and fucking over so many innocent people in Iraq. I hope that Lelie survives this ordeal and has a complete healing from this disease. We all need a healing. I didn't go into this, but I ended up getting kidney stones this year and those things are so fucking painful. I also found out that my cat has diabetes in September 2002, which fucking sucks.
I also plan to go to Atlanta on October 25. I hope that I can find some cool places there with open mikes and find cool people who will love the stuff that I read. I also finished making my CD in which I hope to find the right connections so I can make millions of dollars for the tallents that I have. They also video tape all the performers at Balls. In June 2002, I gave Leslie a video tape to dub the videos of my performances. So far, she didn't do it. She said that she was going to be busy in the summer and she was going to work on it in the fall. Then when fall came, the VCR fucked up and Leslie got a new 1, but she didn't know how to use the new one and the guy who would show her use the new one was out of town for a few weeks. Then Leslie was diagnosed with thyroid cancer which of course further delays and fucks everything up. I was so looking forward to showing the video of my performances to Joon when I came to Atlanta, but found out that Joon's husband Andy gave the VCR to his mother and I wouldn't have been able to show the video, even if Leslie got the tape. Shit seems to happen in strange and mysterious ways I guess.
I also read my piece on how I can't stand love ballads at the Artists Quarter in St. Paul on October 21, 2002. I had a very mixed reaction. I never experienced 2 different extremes like this at the same time in my entire life. I did get quite a few laughs while I was reading my thing, but then some fucking assholes started heckling me and some fucking asshole through a piece of paper at me. Some fucking asshole mentioned to me "get him off the stage" and also told me that I was fired. Before I was done reading my piece they cut off the microphone on me so I couldn't get heard that well. There were some fucking assholes who heckled me when I read my piece about being Laura Ingalls in my previous lifetime on September 16, but it wasn't as bad and there were some people who really loved what I had read. The big difference between September 16 and October 21 is the guy who hosted the open mike on September 16 was cool and the guy who hosted the open mike on October 21 was a fucking asshole. Actually, there were 2 people who hosted it on October 21, the cool guy and the guy who was a fucking prick to me and unfuckingfortuneately, I got the guy who turned out to be a fucking asshole.
I did not know that guy who hosted it on October 21 that well and he appeared to be this older enlightened hippy. In fact, I forgot what his name is at this point, but anyway, he showed his true colors when I got up to read my piece. I was hoping that when the microphone got turned off that it might have been some technical fuck up, but there is a 99% probability that some fucking prick had it turned off. I continued reading my thing even after the microphone was turned off when that guy came up on stage telling me that I had gone over my 10 minute time limit. That is the easiest and most convenient way to censor someone. I told him if I could finish up the last paragraph and he rudely said "no" and told me that I was on for 15 minutes. 1st of all, I think that him telling me that I had gone over my time limit was a bunch of bullshit, but unfuckingfortuneately, I did not time myself because I was not expecting this shit to turn out to be that bad. When I read that piece at Balls, I got through it in 8 minutes. 2nd of all, if I did go over my time limit, I could have gotten through reading my piece a lot faster if they didn't turn the fucking microphone off on me.
I asked the guy who was cool who hosted the open mike earlier and he told me that that guy definitely has issues with the subject matter that I talked about. Well, he can go fuck himself! Anyway, the cool guy mentioned that what I talked about didn't bother him personally, but that other guy has issues with the things that I talked about. I don't even know if I can trust that cool guy either because he did mention that the things that I talked about offended a lot of people, but he seemed to have hinted that I should maybe look at their concerns as well. He also mentioned that the guy who owns the Artists Quarter sometimes fills in as bartender and if he heard what I would have to say, he would have me kicked out because he would be offended. The 1 bit of good news is after everyone was done reading, that cool guy was nice enough to go up and let me finish up the last paragraph that I had left to read, which of course mentioned my ideas for love songs.
There were people who really enjoyed what I read that night and someone even told me that the world needs more people like me! Someone else mentioned that I shouldn't care or even worry about those fucking assholes who heckled me. He mentioned that I shouldn't worry about what other people think and just read my thing and the world needs to know what I feel. I shouldn't have to worry, but I worry about my safety because so many people are fucking assholes.
The fucking bullshit that happened to me on October 21 at Artists Quarter was the same week that I was going to go to Atlanta and it was a very stressfull week. I wasn't sure what I was going to do about my cat and I would make the horrifying discovery that because he had diabetes was going to fuck things up and put me through all kinds of horrible stress. I called a pet sitting service in early October 2002 to have someone come in and look after my cat. I mentioned that he had diabetes and the woman who I talked to was reluctant, but said that she would come in and look after my cat. On October 21, just a few hours before all that fucking bullshit happened at Artists Quarter, I get a call from the woman who would pet sit my cat and the fucking cunt decides to crap out on me beause she was afraid of something happening to the cat because of his diabetes. I told her to take him into the vet if something happened, but she said that would be invonveiniant for her. I didn't know what the fuck I was going to do because that fucking cunt decides to crap out on me just 4 fucking days before I was going to go to Atlanta. I called another pet sitting service, but they were already booked up for such short notice. I found out that the Humane Society boards cats, but I would have to take him to the vet to get him caught up on his vacinations. On October 23, I took him to a "new age" vet and the vet turned out to be a fucking cunt accusing me of not trying to learn how to give the cat insulin, which I never fucking did before. The good thing about that vet is the cat only needs a distempor shot once every 3 years, but the Humane Society wants it every year, and the vet was going to try to see if they can get away with passing on the distempor shot because that would actually exasorbate his health conditon. Well, when I get home, the fucking Humane Society calls me and tells me that they don't board diabetic cats. Well, fucking great! I called the other vet that I was taking him to and asked if I could board the cat there. They said that I could, but because he's diabetic, it would cost $42 a day, which is fucking expensive. During my 10 day trip, that would be over $420. That really put me in a fucking bind. I was going to have to make the very difficult decision to put the cat to sleep the fucking day before going on my trip to Atlanta. I couldn't handle that so, I called Andy, who I would be staying with if I could take the cat and if I couldn't, I would have to have him put to sleep. Andy didn't want me to have the cat put to sleep, so he said that I could take the cat. There were 2 other crucial hurdles that I would have to clear. I would have to get a health certificate from the vet, so he could travel on an airplane. Because he was sick, there was the possibility that the vet wouldn't aprove the health certificate. When I took him in, the vet said they only reject giving health certificates if the cat has rabies, not diabetes, so I got my health certificate, but there was still 1 more hurdle to clear. The vet had to mention on the health certificate that the cat had diabetes and there was a risk that the airline would refuse to let me take the cat on the plane for that reason, although rabies is a primary concern and he didn't have that, so I was able to take the cat with me to Atlanta, thankfully. I am glad that I didn't take the cat back to that fucking cunt at that "new age" vet because they probably would have refused to have issued a health certificate to allow him to go on the airplane, which would have meant that I would be totally up a fucking creek and my only fucking choice would have been to have the cat put to sleep.
I am glad that I wasn't visiting my parents with the cat being sick like that because they would have been assholes and would have treated me like shit. Even though the cat had diabetes, he didn't seem to mind the traveling that much and he seemed kind of glad to at least be with me. I also took that cat with me to Chicago in early October 2002 and that wasn't nearly as bad as a hassle because I drove there.
There are quite a few interesting places in Atlanta, like Little 5 Points. Me, Joon and Andy went to some place for artists in Atlanta, where anything truly goes. I saw a show in which this band was singing weird music and then they showed people shitting out diarrhea and rubbing it all over each other and some guys were wering plastic penises. I am glad that the diarrhea was fake. I love weird shit (no pun intended) but I can not handle the smell of real diarrhea, so that's where I draw the line! I read a couple of my things there as well. I read my piece about me being Laura Ingalls in my previous lifetime and the 1 about how to get a job. Andy enjoyed that 1 because he was able to relate because he was in the process of looking for a job and he hated these corporate fucking assholes and their bullshit. I didn't seem to get any reaction there from the stuff that I read. Me and Joon ran into some fucking asshole there who was also against abortion and said some fucking bullshit that she doesn't want to have kids because she doesn't respect herself. That inspired Joon to write an anti-breeding rant at another open mike at a coffee shop in Atlanta. Joon was quite nasty with that and I admire her for that. I then read my piece on what I would do if I was president of the United States in which I mention how wonderful abortion is and how much breeding sucks. Right after me and Joon get done reading our anti-breeding rant, this black woman who is a pro-breeding fucking cunt goes up and shows everyone a picture of the 5 brats she popped out her twat. In other words, she showed everyone a picture of all of her cunt droppings! After that she mentioned that she was so upset that people would go up on stage and speak out against breeding, so she had to go on and spew out her fucking bullshit about how "wonderful" breeding is. When she showed everyone a picture of her 5 kids, I was wondering if there were any pedophiles in the audience? I was so tempted to say, "calling all pedophiles, are there any pedophiles in the house? She showed you a picture of her kids for your conveniance!" As for Atlanta, the artist place turned out to be the best place that I went to for an open mike. The 1 where me and Joon did our anti-breeding rants didn't go over as good as I was hoping for. At least I didn't get heckled by any fucking assholes and the guy who hosted it was live and let live when it came to people expressing their opinions. I am disapointed that I didn't find some people who would have just loved what I had to say and that fucking sucks.
My cat survived the trip to Atlanta, but unfuckingfortuneately, he threw up lot of times, which is no different than what he did when I was home and I still think that the cat was glad that I took him with. On November 3, 2002, I went home from Atlanta. On November 9, 2002, I went to a psychic fair and I the psychic I saw was a pet psychic and I took my cat there. Even though I had started giving the cat insulin, he didn't seem to be getting any better and unfuckingfortuneately, I was only able to give him 1 unit a day because of the risk involved with the possibility of giving him too much insuline, which would also kill him. I could have had his blood sugar monitored, but that would cost a fucking fortune, at least $300 a month. I knew the cat wasn't doing very well and I just wanted the psychic to tell me that the cat wasn't doing too well and give me advise on whatever I could do so the cat can last as long as possible. The psychic told me that the cat was doing fine and he is going to be around for 5 more years and he is not ready to leave me, yet. I then told her that he had diabetes and he was'nt doing too good. She then revised it to saying that the cat will be around for at least another 2 years. Gee, that made me feel good, but the cat really was going downhill with me giving him insulin. He was so weak, that whenever he would try to jump on the bed, he ended up falling on the floor, but he was going to last at least 2 more years. Well, I woke up at around 6AM on Novmeber 13 and the cat was sleeping behind the computer, which is what he would do before and when I went to wake him up, he wouldn't wake up and he was twitching his whiskers untrolably and it looked like he was having seizures. The cat was starting to slip into a diabetic coma, but he was going to live at least 2 more years? I had to work that morning too, which fucking sucked. I decided to put the cat in the bathtub. That cat was in such bad shape, I thought he would be gone by the time I got home, but he was still allive, but he was in a coma. Amazingly, the cat was still alive on November 14 at around 4:00 in the afternoon when I had to leave for work, but he wasn't getting any better and he was so bad, I was going to have him put to sleep on November 15. When I came home on the night of November 14, my cat had died. I certainly didn't feel happy, but I was relieved that having to go through all the hassles with diabetes and shit was over with and he was able to move on to whereever, but it still fucking sucks that that had happened.
For the 1st time since I spoke at Balls in November 2000, I was planning doing a spoken word performance that I had already done on November 24, but I decided to change that to do a piece paying tribute to my cat. As I share my philosophies and vision with the world, I don't like being serious because being serious is too dam fucking depressing and even though losing a pet sucks, I even decided to use humor when I read that piece, however I am also serious when I talk about just about any subject as well. I picked up my style of spoken words and comedy from watching tv shows like All in the Family and Maude when I was growing up. Those tv shows (especially Maude) would be very serious when it came to dealing with a deep dark crisis, but Maude would then end up saying something very funny and sometimes in a tasteless way as well, which I really enjoyed. I had to deal with a lot of unjust fucking bullshit while I was growing up and getting exposed to cool comedy shows like All in the Family and Maude did help me cope. As I mentioned in the piece that I read to pay tribute to my cat, we once had a dog that was put to sleep and my parents said that we were'nt going to be getting any more pets. I really hate that type of fucking bullshit! Mentioning that I would rather get a picture of a whore instead of a picture of a horse really pissed off my father off, especially when I mentioned it in front of the neighbors! The good news is in November 2002, I decided to adopt a new cat on November 27, 2002. I was lucky enough not to be living with my parents or any other fucking asshole who would try to stop me from getting another cat. I really have a hard time coming up with a name for pets, but I mentioned that he is a black cat with a white spot of fur on 1 of his legs, so someone I asked mentioned that I should name him Whiteout, so I decided to go with that name. The new cat was a lot more hyper than the other cat and he would get very spastic at times and run around like crazy. The cat who died, would sleep with me from the beginning, but then he would jump off the bed as soon as I fell asleep. With the new cat I would put him on the bed, but then he would jump off the bed, but then he would sleep with me most of the time later on. For some reason, a lot of reasons why the cat jumps of the bed is he decides to use the litter box to take a piss and then he eats. I don't know why he waits until I decide to go to sleep to take a piss and eat. It is just a good thing that I was able to get another cat.
On December 9, 2002, I decided to go back to the Artists Quarter where those fucking assholes heckeled me on October 21. I was terrified at the thought of going there and getting heckled again, but I also realized that there were people who are inteligent enough and they enjoyed what I had to say and that wasn't very fucking fair to them. My nerves were fucking shot to shit that day and I was afraid that some fucking asshole would start a fight with me. Also, the same fucking asshole who turned the micraphone off on me and said that I went way over my time on October 21 is the 1 who happened to host it that night. I decided to read the piece on what I would do if I was president of the United States. I was heckled from 1 fucking asshole, but things did go over much better and I was able to get through my thing without having the micraphone turned off on me and there were a couple of people who really liked what I had to say. Some people ask me if I feel that terrified about reading something in front of people who are a bunch of fucking assholes, then why do I put myself through that? Well, I feel terrified up to hours before reading something, but once it's done, I feel MUCH better and I experience a very intense Andrenaline rush!
The final thing I read at Balls in 2002 was on December 22, which was rant about how I feel about Christmas and all the bullshit that goes along with it. After I was done reading it, Leslie went on to say that "the opinons expressed are not necesarily of Balls managemnet." I didn't really like that and I don't know what exactly I said that she didn't agree with, but I think that she said that because I said that poor people shouldn't be having kids. That piece also didn't seem to go over that good either. I will probably read that piece during Christmas 2003, but I will modify it, not to censor out what assholes don't like, but so I can have an opportunity to go into other things about the holidays.
I also tried to experiment with getting into comedy open mikes December 16, 2002 with the hopes that people would just love it. Again there were some poeple who liked it, but it was a lot more of a "business" oriented open mike. My style is different than how the other comedians do their thing, so they probably didn't like it. At this particular comedy club, a person is guarenteed to go on the 1st time they sign up, but after that, it's a crap shoot. You show up at 6PM and sign up and they don't pick everyone who signs up. I went back there on December 30 and signed up and the fuckers wouldn't let me go on after I signed up and wasted an hour of my time. That's about it for 2002 as I will go into my experiences with 2003 spoken words and hope that I will get somewhere in 2003.