Greg lost his innocence

When did Greg begin to lose his innocence? It all began when he was 5 years old when he thought that life would only suck a little bit and he was naive on how fucked up the world was. Then one day he made the mistake that would cause him to start losing his innocence. One day when he was in kindergarten, Greg came walking out of the bathroom with his pants pulled down and started playing with his dick, in front of everyone. He didn't see anything wrong with it and besides, it felt good. However his kindergarten teacher didn't feel that way. She was concerned about his behavior, so she called his parents. Greg's parents were horrified and worried that their son would grow up to be a "pervert". They were so horrified, they took him to see a psychiatrist for a psychiatric evaluation. After Greg had his evaluation, he was actually declared a normal child, who just wasn't aware of how "inappropriate" his behavior was, so Greg's parents told him that his dick and ass were private parts that shouldn't be exposed in public, and they were able to successfully brainwash him into believing that, such behavior was "wrong".

Greg started to lose his innocence after that experience because he started to feel ashamed of his dick and his ass, but he had still only had a slight loss of innocence because he was still unaware of how fucked up the world really is, and he was still quite happy. Of course there is a saying which is, the less you know about how fucked up the world is, the happier you'll be.

Greg realized that he was "wrong" for beating off in kindergarten, so he was able to get along with his parents. They got along so well, Greg and his mother would sing Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton songs together. Greg loved Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton because those songs are about "love", which is something that doesn't exist in real life, which he would discover later on in life. Those songs sure would tell it like it ain't, of course Greg was still unaware of that.

Greg also enjoyed watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and Sesame Street, a world without crime, violence and suicide, where everyone is nice to each other and nobody has any major traumas to deal with and where the biggest bitch is Oscar the Grouch and of course where they have Ernie and Burt, 2 guys who have probably fucked each other a million times by now, but they don't talk about that, of course. If they ain't gay, then who is? They have only been living together and sleeping in the same bedroom for over 35 years.

By the time Greg was in the second grade, his innocence continued to erode further. One day during gym class, everyone was playing Dodge Ball, a game where people throw balls at each other, usually causing pain. Greg thought that game was really stupid, but everyone else loved it. It didn't take Greg long to get hit with the ball and be out of the game. He usually got hit hard and it would hurt like hell. Well anyway, after Greg was out of the game, he was bored, so he decided to start humping the ground, but at least he kept his pants on! That attracted a lot of attention and the other kids started calling him a queer. His gym teacher was a fucking asshole, of course most gym teachers are fucking assholes. He told Greg that he isn't normal, that he needs to act more like a man and of course that humping the ground was unnatural, while calling him a wimp because he didn't like having balls thrown at him. Of course that's our school system, condemn pleasure, glorify pain.

While in second grade, Greg's life started to turn to shit. He started to feel disillusioned, because life was not turning out to be like a Barry Manilow or a Michael Bolton love song. It was more like a Dead Kennedys or G. G. Allen hate song. Life wasn't like it was on Sesame Street, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, Father Knows Best or the Cosby Show. It was really fucked up.

By the time Greg was in the third grade, things continued to get worse for him. One day he went into the bathroom, took off his clothes and stuck a pencil up his ass. He was really horny and figured, as long as nobody sees him, it would be ok. Unfortunately, the principal walked into the bathroom and saw him doing that, and he sure was in deep shit. Greg couldn't understand what the big deal was. Sticking that pencil up his ass felt good and besides it felt good when his mother stuck a thermometer up his ass. He figured, if it felt good when his mother stuck a thermometer up his ass, what would be wrong with sticking a pencil up his own ass? Well anyway, the principal called Greg's parents and told them about what he had done and they were really pissed off. His father beat the shit out of him, causing him more pain, both physical and emotional.

During 4th, 5th and 6th grades, things continued to get worse for Greg. The kids picked on him more and more, just because he was different. They called him a queer and Greg the fag. He had long finger nails because that's what he liked and everyone gave him plenty of bullshit for that.

That wasn't the only abuse he had to put up with. During class, people would shoot rubber bands at him, and throw pencils at him. Greg fought back by throwing pencils back at them, including the ones that he stuck up his ass, but it didn't do much good because he had to fight against 30 people who threw pencils at him, an army of assholes. After school, people would gang up on him and beat the shit out of him, or throw rocks at him. His teachers didn't give a shit either, and one of his teachers who was a total cunt, told him that he brought all that abuse on himself. To make matters worse, he didn't have any friends either. His parents weren't that supportive of him either, but at least they didn't put that much pressure on him because they were hoping that one day, he would realize how he's "creating his own problems", then he'll conform.

Junior High was a mixed blessing for Greg. Because he was picked on so bad during grade school, for being different, his parents and some counselors decided to put him in special ed, for having "behavior disorders". At least he didn't have to put up with having pencils thrown at him and rubber bands shot at him all day long. Instead of being picked on continuously, it only happened occasionally, but that's where the good part ends.

His special ed teacher told him that being picked on was brought on by himself for not conforming and because he had long finger nails. He even tried to set goals with Greg on what dates he would start conforming by. His parents felt that the time had come to start putting pressure on him. They constantly bitched at him for not being "right", acting "right", looking "right" and not being like everyone else. A lot of times, Greg would tell his father to fuck off, because he couldn't take it anymore, but his father would beat the shit out him.

Also Greg had a feeling that he was gonna be gay by the time he was in junior high. He had gay feelings all his life and he was starting to realize that they weren't going to go away. He didn't see anything wrong with being gay, but he was victimized by a homophobic society and a fascist school system. In school, it was hip and cool for people to say that being gay was sick and disgusting, even in San Francisco.

Greg tried to escape the homophobic bullshit by going down to Castro Street and he tried to get into adult bookstores and gay bars, but nobody would let him in because he wasn't old enough. He was victimized by ageism. Someone at one of the bookstores told Greg to go to Golden Gate Park, if he wanted to meet other gay people, so he did and he found a lot of men that would have sex with him. He still felt lonely, but at least he had sex. However, he didn't have any friends that he could share his lifestyle with.

Greg's taste in music changed too since he realized that the world was fucked up, and that he was gay. He thought that Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton's music was putrid sludge, and that he had been naive enough to actually like them. He started liking groups like "Depeche Mode", "Bronski Beat" because their music was gay oriented. He also started liking groups like the "Sex Pistols", "The Dead Kennedys", and "The Buthole Surfers" because he could relate to the feelings of their music. Listening to "The Dead Kennedys" reminded Greg that the world was fucked up, but that was a hell of a lot better than listening to music that tries to pretend that the world ain't fucked up.

After Greg got into high school, his life actually got better, temporarily. He decided to fuck it and tell everybody that he's gay. It didn't make that much difference because everyone had suspected anyway. The assholes that picked on him before continued to do so but he actually made a couple of friends who accepted him just the way he was.

The reason that he finally made a couple of friends was because he was getting smart enough to tell society to fuck off, causing him to feel better about himself, because he was realizing that it was ok to be what he is. This caused Greg to have less confusion because he decided to only have friends that accepted him the way he was, not a bunch of fucking assholes that would try to change him into something that he's not.

Greg also met his boyfriend while walking through Golden Gate Park. They both fell in love with each other. Greg's boyfriend was the lead singer of a new up and coming hard-core punk rock band called "Revolting Trash", and he called himself, Mega Trash. Mega Trash was 28 years old and he knew that the world was fucked up, but at least he did something about it; he formed a band that played good music and listening to good music is good therapy for people, because it picks people up when they're feeling down.

His parents and especially his father would not accept the way he was. His father kept telling him that he's fucked up. Greg started to dress androgynous and wear an ear ring in his nose. After that, his father started calling him a piece of trash. That really pissed Greg off, so he would tell his father off. Every time that Greg would tell his father off, he would get the shit beaten out of him.

One day, Greg's father decided to spy on him and caught him and Mega Trash kissing each other. He was pissed, so he called the police and had Mega Trash arrested and charged with sexually abusing Greg. Greg didn't feel that he was abused by Mega Trash. Infact, being with him was comforting and it felt good. However, the police state felt that Greg wasn't old or mature enough to make that decision.

Mega Trash could not be prosecuted for "sexually abusing" Greg unless he testified against him, which he wasn't willing to do. However, the state attorney and his father tried their damnedest to put pressure on Greg and brainwash him into testifying against Mega Trash. Greg's father told him this bullshit story on why he should testify against him and this is what he had to say: "Greg I know what's best for you" YEAH RIGHT. "You need to testify against that weirdo. He may appear to care about you, but he's really abusing you." Of course beating the shit out of his son and telling him that he's fucked up and a piece of trash isn't abuse? "I care about you, so testify against him and get him off the street". Greg told his father to go fuck himself and of course he got pissed off and beat the shit out of him, but that wasn't abuse. That was for his own good. Yeah right.

Because Greg wouldn't testify against Mega Trash, he had to be released from jail and have charges dropped against him. Greg was happy, but his father was furious. Greg bragged to his father that he was going to continue to see Mega Trash and if he didn't like it, that was tough shit. His father was so pissed off, he decided to get a gun and play Rambo. He went to Golden Gate Park, where he saw Greg and Mega Trash, and he had to make himself right, so he pulled out his gun and shot Mega Trash to death. After that, he took the gun and stuck it in Greg's mouth. Of course that didn't cause him any emotional trauma. Mega Trash fucked up Greg, not his father. Yeah right. He held the gun in Greg's mouth for over 10 minutes, then the police arrived and arrested him. Greg never thought he'd see the day that he would be glad to see the police.

The state attorney, the same one that tried to prosecute Mega Trash, wanted to let Greg's father get off scot free for murdering his boyfriend. He wanted to send Mega Trash to prison for 40 years for having a healthy, consenting relationship with Greg. Well anyway, fearing that it would give him bad publicity in the press, for allowing someone to take the law into his own hands, he had to set up a plea bargain with Greg's father, that would give him a whopping year in jail and not be eligible for parole for 6 months, for murdering Greg's boyfriend. There was still anther condition with the plea bargain. After getting out of jail, he would have to move out of the state of California because the state attorney didn't want to deal with getting more bad publicity, if he decides to murder Greg's next boyfriend.

Greg's father asked the state attorney, where would be a good place to move to. He said, "Florida, especially Broward County", because he knew the sheriff there and if Greg refused to testify against his next boyfriend, the sheriff would set it up, so his father can murder him and get away with it. Greg's father decided to move to Broward County Florida as soon as he got out of jail.

Meanwhile, Greg was extremely upset and depressed about his father murdering his boyfriend, and just about getting away with it. He was even more upset about having to move to Florida. He heard that it really sucks there. Well, as it turns out, what he heard was true.

Greg's life was at least more peaceful, while his father was in jail, but 6 months had passed and the fucking prick got let out and to make matters worse, it was time to move to Florida. Greg could not bear the thought of having to move to Florida, so he was going to get out of it by killing himself. The day before he was to move, Greg went to a BART rapid transit station, where he decided to put his foot on the third rail and electrocute himself. A security guard saw him getting ready to put his foot on the third rail, but he could not stop him. Just as he was going to put his foot on the third rail, there was a power failure. The security guard grabbed Greg and the police came and took him to a mental hospital, where he was Baker Acted, which means he would be committed for 72 hours. The good thing about him being Baker Acted was, that it delayed him from having to move to Florida, even though his final days in San Francisco were spent in a mental institution.

As soon as Greg got released, he and his parents left for Florida, because they wanted to make sure that he wouldn't try to electrocute himself at a BART rapid transit station again, but he kept threatening his parents that as soon as he arrived in Broward County Florida, he was going to go to Miami and put his foot on the third rail at a Metro Rail station. After he said that, his father said, "good I hope you do, I can't wait until you die".

After Greg arrived at his new home in Broward County Florida, he couldn't believe how disgusting and horrible it was. The weather was so muggy most of the time, he couldn't understand why anyone would want to live there. He also found the people to be real assholes. A lot of people were completely closed minded and intolerant of anyone who was different, while a lot of other people acted like they were to good for anyone else. It was a lot worse than San Francisco ever was.

Also, he noticed that South Florida looked scummy, disgusting and ugly which only made Greg more depressed. At least when he was feeling down in San Francisco, he could escape his pain by going to Golden Gate Park or hang out at the Golden Gate Bridge, which would make him feel better about things, but in South Florida, there was no escape, except by suicide. It was like living in a cesspool. Everything looked scummy and the things that did look nice were meaningless, because they were places where stuck up, phony yuppies would hang out. Greg wanted to kill himself so bad, but he knew if he did, it would only make his father happy.

At his high school in San Francisco, people were somewhat more tolerant and Greg made a couple of friends. In Broward County, he didn't make any friends and he got picked on very badly again just like it was when he was in grade school. He didn't even know of any place to meet other gay people. He figured that life just wasn't worth living, so he tried to commit suicide again. This time he swallowed a whole bottle of aspirin, but it wasn't enough to kill him, just make him very sick. He got a severe upset stomach and was throwing up repeatedly and he was even vomiting blood. He was so sick, he had to be rushed to the hospital and have his stomach pumped. The moral of the story is, if you plan to commit suicide, don't swallow a bottle of aspirin. It will just make you puke real bad and puking is not fun.

Greg's parents realized that it was time to have him committed to a mental hospital after they saw a commercial on tv that said, "Is your child suffering from depression? Is he rebelling"? In other words, is he depressed because a fascist police state is repressing him so badly just for doing what feels natural to him? Could it be because parents and the people that are running that mental hospital are having the power to blackmail and fuck kids over for not conforming and trying to make them into something that they're not? Not to mention that the people who run that hospital are money grubbing scumfucks who are only interested in ripping off parents and not helping kids who have problems in the first place. Well anyway, during the commercial, they showed a kid who was dressed as a punk rocker having a temper tantrum, but after the "treatment" at their hospital, he was calm, obedient and respected authority. Greg's parent's were so happy. They believed everything they saw in that commercial, so they had him committed there against his will.

While he was there, they told him about the importance of being a good citizen and to obey and conform, or else, but he kept losing his temper. After he lost his temper one time to many, they tried to sedate him by doping him up with drugs, but he just said "no" to their drugs. Because he just said "no" to their drugs, they took him in and gave him shock treatments. They kept giving him shock treatments every time he lost his temper and until he would just say "yes" to their drugs. He decided to just say "yes" to being doped up after he couldn't take any more shock treatments. Because of the shock treatments and by being zombied out on drugs, Greg was so intimidated he started to conform and he didn't lose his temper anymore. They finally let him out after he agreed to cut his finger nails. That was mighty white of them. Greg figured that it would be better to cut his finger nails, so he could get out of that concentration camp. Besides, his finger nails would grow back.

After Greg got out, he was scared so shitless, he would conform and obey, but after awhile, he was realizing that he got fucked over worse than ever. He was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is similar to what happened to the Vietnam Veterans when the government fucked them over. He was even having nightmares and flashbacks about his experience in that mental hospital. That experience fucked him up so bad, he was going insane for real.

Greg had to put up with a lot of bullshit at school, before he tried to commit suicide as well as after. He didn't have any friends and he had to deal with a lot of homophobic assholes.

One experience he had to deal with was in his industrial arts class. Greg found many of the boys in the class to be very sexy and he was horny all of the time. Because the boys made him horny, he was staring at the boys and everyone noticed, including the teacher. His teacher was a hompphobic bastard and he was a Catholic, but he decided not to make any derogatory remarks about him being gay, because he had a bigger power trip up his sleeve. He seemed to be doing quite well in class, but his teacher told him that he didn't think he was qualified to take the class and told him that he was concerned that he would cut his finger off on one of the saws while cutting wood. He made Greg drop the class, which sure did his already eroded self esteem a lot of good. Greg knew that that teacher was fucking him over because he was gay, so he asked him if it was because he was gay, but he denied it. The teacher told Greg that he was concerned about him cutting his finger off with the saw. After he said it had nothing to do with him being gay, Greg said, "bullshit you fuckin prick, but I can do a lot of damage with that saw when I cut your dick off". Then he left the class in a rage and his intuition was right, because as soon as he left, he said to the class, "he sure is one sick faggot, I'm sure glad that he's out of this class".

Another degrading experience he had to deal with was in gym class, because he didn't like sports and he couldn't drop the class either. He wanted to drop the class, so he wouldn't have to put up with all the bullshit and assholes in the class, but he couldn't because the fascist government forced everyone to take PE.

Greg made the mistake of telling people that he beats off and most of the redneck assholes denied that they ever beat off. They said that beating off isn't natural and bragged about how they always stick their dicks up girls pussies. Also, because Greg wasn't good at sports, one guy, whose name was Kirk, kept calling him a dork and told Greg how fucked up and sick he was, while Kirk acted like he was hot shit.

Another fine experience that Greg had, was during lunch. He was sitting at the table eating lunch minding his own business, when a couple of homphobic pricks walked up to him and called him a faggot. Greg told them to fuck off. After he said that, they took his lunch and threw it on the floor. Greg got pissed off and hit the assholes with a tray and of course, they hit him back, which lead to a big fight breaking out. Greg got hurt pretty bad during the fight, but most people can't take on 2 people. Greg was suspended from school for getting into the fight, but at least the assholes that he got into the fight with were suspended too, however the Dean whose name was Mrs. Davidson, said the fight was Greg's fault, because he was creepy, weird and the way he dressed wasn't normal for a man and he brought being picked on, himself. Gee that wasn't the first time he heard that and he was really pissed off about it, so he called her a cunt. Because Greg called Mrs. Davidson a cunt, she suspended him even longer.

Greg was so fed up with all the bullshit he was going through and not having any friends, he called a counseling hotline to see if they had any support groups for young gay people and because Greg was living in Shitville, (better known as Broward County) they didn't have much. He wasn't old enough to get into bars, so the only thing they had was a gay church. Greg thought that a gay church would be interesting, until he went there.

He went to a so-called support group, for young gay and lesbian people. At first, the people made him feel welcome, but they thought he was weird because of the way he dressed. It turned out to be bullshit like anywhere else he's been before. They told him that his misery was caused by not conforming and they even told him that he needs to cut his finger nails. They also blamed him for creating homophobia, because he didn't dress masculine enough, which would make all gay people look bad to straight people who see Greg. They also told Greg that he needs to stop listening to underground and alternative music, because that's been a bad influence on him. Someone even said that alternative and underground music should be banned, because it causes young people to rebel against authority, because he believed that authority was good. That same person told Greg that it would be good for him to start singing in the church choir. Yeah Right.

Despite that, Greg was hoping that the group might do him some good, but he was getting more and more hopelessly depressed. He kept telling people at the group that he wanted to kill himself. One time he asked the people at the group, if anyone at the group would be willing to fuck his dead body after he committed suicide. For some reason, the people really thought he was weird, after he said that. Of course, society fucked him up so bad, he was really losing his sanity.

Greg was depressed after the meeting and felt that there was no hope that he would ever be accepted anywhere, so he was going to kill himself as soon as he got home. Just as Greg was leaving the group, he got what was an all too temporary reprieve from committing suicide. A couple of people from the group that had enough brains not to believe all the bullshit, asked Greg if he wanted to go to a gay club with them and he did. Greg was relieved to have some companionship, but as it would turn out to be, too little too late. The people that Greg went to the club liked him and thought he was interesting, but Greg was unable to get close to them.

Because Greg went to the club with the 2 people that he just met, he was able to get in, even though he wasn't old enough, because the people there knew the manager of the club. Greg went dancing at the club and for an all too temporary period of time, he was happy. He then met his new boyfriend, who was 32 years old.

Greg was happy having a new boyfriend, but once again, his father ended up spying on him. His father saw Greg with his new boyfriend and he was really pissed. His father called the sheriff and the sheriff said there would be no point in arresting Greg's boyfriend because Greg was so militant, he wouldn't testify against him anyway, but the sheriff had an idea. Greg and his boyfriend were sitting in the car, in the parking lot of the gay club. A sheriff deputy walks up to the car and points a gun at Greg's boyfriend and tells him to get out of the car. While Greg's boyfriend was getting out of the car, the pig pulled the trigger and shot Greg's boyfriend dead and the pig claimed that he shot him in self defense, even though he was unarmed, but the corrupt sheriff said that the shooting was justifiable.

Greg was so devastated over the loss, he just couldn't go on anymore. While his parents were out, Greg hung himself in the bathroom, while he masturbated. At that point, Greg had a complete loss of innocence.