I think Valentine's Day sucks. It's a day that is very insulting to anyone who doesn't have a date. I wish that today was Halloween instead because on Halloween, I go out dressed up as a punk rock drag queen corpse and I take a ghost with me that lights up and shakes. I myself have had a hard time finding someone to date. I don't consider myself to be that bad looking. There are worse looking people than me who can get dates. I am just not aggressive enough and I am also rather impatient and I don't have the patience to put up with someone's bullshit. I have also noticed that the more I get to know someone, the less desire I usually end up at having sex with them. When 2 people fall in love with 1 another, I can't understand why they want to share a bedroom and sleep with each other. I didn't enjoy it when I had to share a bedroom with my brother and I don't want to share 1 with a date. As soon as I have my orgasm, I want to go to my own room and be left alone. I don't see any thrill at all from sleeping with someone and listening to them snore. Even when you wake up in the morning and you go and kiss your partner, their breath will probably smell like puke anyway. If that's not all, what if your partner ends up blowing farts all night? Doesn't that just get you in the mood for romance after smelling your partner's farts? What if you need to blow farts? The problem is somehow, someway, people need to let their gas out. There are a lot of marriages that have broken up because 1 partner can not longer stand smelling their partner's farts. The smell of a fart is evil and it comes from Satan.

      I would much rather sleep with my cat than sleep with someone. I like it when the cat decided to sleep between my legs and purrs. Now, when I wake up, I notice that a lot of times, the cat has jumped off the bed and decides to sleep on my desk instead. In a way that's a good thing because I wake up with wood in the middle of the night and feel the need to beat off and I am glad that the cat is sleeping on the desk. There are a lot of times when I have beaten off, I will turn around to check on the cat to notice that he is staring right at me while I am beating off. I really hate that! There have been other times when I was beating off that the cat will jump up on the bed to see what I am doing and then he gives me a very strange look and then he jumps off the bed. Also, I wonder, is it against the law for someone to beat off in front of their cat? With all the stupid sex hysteria laws there are, I get the feeling that it is. That is why I don't like it when the cat stares at me when I beat off. I don't want to end up breaking the law.

    Well, at least Valentines Day didn't suck as bad in 2002.  Anyway, click here to go back to Pat's 2002 vision of the world page to read more great stuff!