Today I am going to talk about how to get a job with a prospective employer. So, how do you get a job with a prospective employer? 1st of all, it is very important that you are a "good" obedient conformist. It is also extremely important that you have a "good" attitude and how can you show a corporation that you have a "good" attitude? When you go in for a job interview, you need to prove to a corporation that you are willing to kiss ass and you must show a corporation that you are willing to put up with their shit, but even that is not enough for them. If you want to get hired from a prospective employer, you need to prove to them that you are willing to smile while putting up with their shit.

         Another thing that a lot of people are talking about when it comes to finding the "right" job is by "networking". I went to some of these groups and it seemed like nothing more than a waste of time. Most of the people there seemed rather mediocre and I don't trust them and I certainly don't feel very safe sharing my life story with them. I certainly don't feel safe enough to tell those devoutly normal mainstream people that in my previous lifetime, I was Laura Ingalls. I have learned that most "devoutly" normal people are judgmental assholes. Another thing I have learned from "networking" is to do research and find a company that I would be enthusiastic about working for. So far I haven't found any. When I was younger and more naïve, I thought it would be cool to work for in a factory that manufactures plastic penises. I bet that even they are greedy assholes, which takes all the fun out of looking at the plastic penises. They most likely have a quota that you must meet. They probably have a requirement that you must be able to manufacture a minimum of 600 plastic penises per hour and failure to manufacture the minimum # of plastic penises means that you aren't being productive enough which will lead to the termination of your employment, which means that even working at a job manufacturing plastic penises sucks.

      Well anyway, you must remember that you have bills to pay so you have to kiss ass and answer the job interviewing questions the way a corporation expects you to. I was at a job support group and I was practicing by writing out the answers to job interviewing questions and they had a mock job interview and had me read some of the answers I came up with out loud. The answer to the question that I read out is what are your strengths? My answer was, I have good writing skills. I really enjoy writing stories that are sexually explicit. I also enjoy writing about diarrhea, cannibalism and necrophilia, but I really enjoy describing bowel movements in graphic detail when I write my stories. At least the people in the group I was at had a sense of humor to find what I said to be very funny. Even the facilitator of the group found that answer to be quite funny, however he told me that is not the correct way to answer that job-interviewing question. I was told that the way to answer the question, what are your strengths is I work well under pressure. Well, I don't work well under pressure. That is definitely the ultimate of an ass kissing answer. What am I supposed to do. Go into a job interview and lie?

The next time I have to deal with a job interview, here are some of the stupid questions I will have to deal with being asked:

So, Pat, tell me something about yourself:

I am a militant anarchist antichrist and I hate corporations very much. I am sick and tired of these greedy money grubbing scumfuck corporations who think they can do whatever they want to ruin people's lives and corporate America needs to be smashed. It upsets me very much when I think of the shit that these corporations are getting away with, however, to make myself feel better, I usually masturbate about 2 or 3 times a day, however I masturbate 6 or 7 times on days in which I happen to be extremely horny. I was masturbating 1 day and I spent too much time looking at my cock and I forgot to look at the clock when I noticed that I was running late for work, so I had to hurry up and shoot my load. I then had to put my clothes on and I drove like a maniac, but the good news is I was only 10 minutes late for work.

       Can you imagine how a narrow minded conservative yuppie conformist would react to how I answered that question? For some reason, that would not be considered the proper way to answer that job-interviewing question. A corporation isn't interested in my life story, my hopes and dreams. All they care about is how I can make them lots of money and how I can make more money from them than anyone else can. Anyway, next question:

So, Pat tell me about career goals. What kind of career would you like to see yourself in 5 years from now?

Well, I am planning on going to medical school so I can become an abortion doctor. I heard that there is now a shortage of qualified doctors who are willing to perform abortions. I feel that abortion is not only necessary for saving our planet from over population, but the thought of extracting unborn fetuses from pregnant women sounds like it will be a lot of fun. Next question:

So Pat, tell me some things that you liked about 1 of your previous jobs:

The best part of 1 of the jobs I had is when I worked at a convenient store. I really enjoyed stocking the shelves with cigarettes because I wanted to make sure that I did my part to help people get cancer, but that's not the only thing I liked about that job. The job was kind of boring, but they even sold Fleet Enemas at that store and when I was bored it would give me a cheap thrill to look at the drawings of people being bent over on the box and I enjoyed reading the directions so people will know the proper way to stick the enema up their ass. Next question:

So Pat, tell me something about 1 of your previous jobs that you didn't like?

Oh, don't even get me started, honey. With that in mind, working sucks, but then I hear people say, I have so many bills to pay. For 1 thing, most corporations are too cheap and greedy to pay people enough to pay their bills. Also working for someone you can't stand will ruin your health. Do you know that most heart attacks occur in the morning than any other time of day? That's because so many people would rather croak than spend another day working for a corporation and putting up with their shit. Everyone has bills to pay, but when it comes to earning a living, there would have to be some way in which it is more enjoyable. There's got to be a better way.

      Yes, there has got to be a better way, which is why I read my piece on creating prosperity and abundance on May 12 or if you want, go back to my 2002 vision of the world page to hear my other cool stuff.