A Teaspoon of Advice: “Remember boys, the ride is always smoothest right before your horse picks up a stone.”
The year was 1864 and it was, by far, the smoothest in the Hickok household. Emma was growing up, now nearly 3; her bubbling, curious personality made her a great source of amusement for the entire family. Emma and her Daddy were indeed quite a pair. Teaspoon even remarked that their relationship reminded him of Kid and Jimmy – the best of friends, but full of playful bickering. Annabelle was beginning to pull herself up on all the furniture, but her favorite object of leverage was, by far, her Daddy’s knee.
Annabelle and Emma were close as only sisters can be. Emma was amazingly patient with her younger sister and fiercely protective of her well being. Rachel called Emma the “little mama,” but Emma’s favorite nickname was from her Daddy, who usually called her Emma Honey.
Louise was a happy and contented woman. She was quite proud of her family and secure in the closeness built between all of them. She and Jimmy’s marriage was fulfilling, strong and blissful. They argued rarely and when they did, were always quick to make-up. Lou certainly loved the making-up part.
Sighing softly, Lou began lunch. Rachel was hanging clothes on the line and the girls were playing on the floor beside the kitchen table.
Sometimes Lou’s thoughts drifted to the past. She thought of all the times spent with Jimmy during the Express days and often wondered how things would have been then if she weren’t in love with the Kid at the time. She remember the kiss she and Jimmy had shared way back then and if completely honest, had to admit she was attracted to him even then, but Kid was the man of her heart in those days.
The very thought hurt, but Lou realized if it weren’t for Emma looking so much like Kid, she’d have probably forgotten what he looked like. Three years ago he’d left for the War, only to die within a couple of months. She was a widow while barely a bride.
Shaking her head from such odd thoughts, she watched her daughters playing. She and Rachel had made them each a doll. Emma’s had dark hair and Rachel’s was coarse yellowed thread. The two sisters, by complexion were total opposites, but were very similar in personality. Both were beautiful in their Mommy’s eyes and she adored them both.
Any worries Lou had had about Jimmy treating them equally vanished immediately after Annabelle’s birth. Both Emma and Annabelle Hickok were his daughters and he doted on them, just as he doted on Lou.
***
Back in Virginia, Kid watched as Davis’ spirits fell a little more every day. The South was losing; the downward spiral was moving faster with each battle lost. General Lee was in the capital, conferring with Davis and Kid stood in the hallway, ever watchful.
The task of guarding was often taxing in its lack of action, but a few times Kid saw a bit of fighting on the field and many times had protected Davis from a vengeful assassin.
President Davis had visited Atlee Station, Virginia just a few months before. Seeing the death and destruction, Kid had no longer had any high regard for war. The soil he longed to protect was soaked in the blood of its men.
Recently, on a trip to Petersburg, Virginia, the Southern president had nearly been led into enemy lines. Kid saw what was happening and quickly pulled Davis to safety though nearly losing his life in the attempt.
General Lee nodded at Kid as he left the offices. President Davis called Kid in.
“Son, I ask you to post this letter to Varina for me. Things are grave and I have want of my wife’s prayers.”
Kid nodded respectfully and left the office, letter in hand. “Letter here to be posted for President Jefferson,” he told the regiment’s officer.
After turning away, the officer looked to his left. “This one is from the President. See that it is not destroyed.”
***
March 4, 1865 was President Davis’ last meeting with his top general. Soon, General Robert E. Lee would be surrendering to Union trips and it’s General U. Grant. Sensing the impending doom, Davis had his wife, Varina and children, who had come to his side soon after his letter, to leave the capital of Richmond. The war was ending soon.
Kid could only be relieved that the end was near though he was saddened that the Southern cause had failed. He was ready to see his wife again. Four years was far too long to be apart, and four years of silence was achingly lonely.
In April, Union President Abraham Lincoln was shot and killed. President Davis mourned the news.
“Son,” he called to Kid, standing outside the office door.
“Yes sir?” responded Kid, entering the room to stand before the large desk.
“Go home,” instructed Davis.
“Wha—What?” gasped Kid, completely taken aback.
“This war is over. I’ve not given up, but even I will soon vacate the capital. Maybe if I can regroup with my cabinet, we can evaluate our options, but for now, I want you to go back home to your wife. You have been an excellent soldier and I’m proud to have had your loyal service. I wish to re-pay it before the Union army takes you captive too,” explained Davis gravely.
“Sir, as badly as I want to go home, I can’t very well leave you when you need me most – not with the Union army coming,” argued Kid.
President Davis shook his head. “I plan to be gone before they get here as well. You are not my only guard, just my favorite,” said the elderly man kindly.
By the next day, Kid was leaving the capital and leaving the South behind, but making it through war ravaged towns and states took more time than Kid expected. Many a time, he had to skirt enemy troops, hide for a day or so and begin the trek again. Once, his horse broke a leg and Kid found it difficult to get a new one. Finally, he traded some food with a Confederate soldier and was on his way again.
The month of May found him not even half-way to home and that’s when he heard the news -- President Davis had been captured. Kid wavered in indecision. Guilt washed over him. He should have remained with the President knowing the Union Army was closing in. Conscious overwhelming him, Kid turned his horse back toward Richmond. He’d barely made any progress when more news greeted him. The Union Army had already loaded Davis on a boat sailing for Savannah, Georgia and prison.
Kid again turned around, heading for Sweetwater and Louise. He had no intention of ever setting foot in the South or Virginia again.
It was July 1865 and Kid was heading for home.
Teaspoon of Advice: “"Your past never really goes away -- you either face it or hide from it."
The girls had been especially taxing on Louise that late summer day, so Rachel urged her to take a walk. Jimmy and Teaspoon were in town for supplies and the fresh air was a welcome respite for Lou. At four and two, or nearly for both, Emma and Annabelle were a real handful. Emma loved getting into mischief and Annabelle wanted to be just like her sister.
It was rare that Lou became weary of their chatter and pranks, but today was definitely one of those days. Luckily, Rachel could read her like a book and quickly gave her a break.
Lou was happier each day as Jimmy’s wife. They had only grown closer since their marriage nearly three years before. They were best friends, confidantes, playmates and lovers – a marriage complete in every way.
This inexplicable restlessness bothered Lou. She examined her life from every angle and could find nothing out of sorts, just a nagging feeling that something was not right. The girls were precious, Rachel and Teaspoon the parents she never really had and Jimmy continued to hold her deep, abiding love.
She was beginning to worry that something bad was about to happen to Jimmy. Losing Kid was bad enough, but losing Jimmy would kill her.
Lou found herself at the old oak tree near the homestead. She and Kid had walked this path before, but she had walked it many more times with Jimmy. Jimmy had made love to her beneath this tree, on a blanket with the stars above them. Sneaking away from the house was a fun game they played sometimes, feeling like children while leaving their own with Rachel and Teaspoon.
While her mind was filled with memories of their love play, a voice in the distance intruded on her recollections. Someone was calling her name, repeatedly. She shivered as the sound of that voice boomed over her entire body. Her eyes jerked toward the rider, approaching her fast. She barely got a look at Kid’s familiar face when he grasped her into his arms.
He was speaking words of love and apologies into her upswept hair, but the voice sounded distant as the ringing in her ears filled her head. A pounding began in her temples, eventually drumming within her entire head before the world went black.
The blessed emptiness of that black void was far too short. Lou awoke to find herself in her ‘deceased’ husband’s lap. She blinked several times, trying to make the ghost disappear, but the arms around her felt solid.
“I came back to you, just like I promised,” came the voice, a voice Lou couldn’t deny.
Lou jumped away from him, horror, wonder and a million other emotions she couldn’t name welled within her petite form.
“How could you?” she demanded furiously. She shoved at him. He was so near after so long and she wanted him away.
“Oh Louise, I’m so sorry, about everything; let me…,” Kid began.
Lou didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. All the emotions flooding her merged into one raw feeling of anger. She slapped Kid as hard as she could and wished she had a gun on her hip. She watched his head jerk at her hit and felt some measure of satisfaction.
When she saw the concern on his face, she couldn’t bear another minute of the shock. She headed for his horse, spurred him forward and headed toward home.
***
Rachel met Lou in the doorway, but Lou didn’t want to talk – she couldn’t even comprehend what Rachel was asking so plaintively. Hell, right now, Lou didn’t want to think. She wanted to pretend it was yesterday and Kid was still dead. That thought made her sick to her stomach. ‘Want Kid dead?’ her mind raced. ‘Surely not dead, just not here complicating my happy life,’ she tried to reason.
As she was about to race up the stairs, she turned toward Rachel. “Where’s Teaspoon and Jimmy?” she got out, barely holding in the contents of her stomach. Hearing Rachel say they were still in town, Lou raced up the stairs.
Lou retched into the chamber pot immediately. Sitting on the floor, she drew her knees to her chest and began rocking until another wave of nausea overcame her. She again resumed rocking, her mind whirling with thoughts that she couldn’t organize.
How was Kid alive? Where had he been all this time? Why hadn’t he written? What was she going to do with two husbands? Oh my, what was Jimmy going to say? She stood quickly, walking to the mirror and bowl of water on her dresser. She splashed her face several times, looking pale even to herself.
She heard voices downstairs, Kid’s husky timbre unmistakable to her ears. Again, she retched, but this time her stomach was empty. She splashed her face again as goose bumps covered her body. ‘What was she going to do?’ she screamed inside her own head.
Lou moved to the top of the steps and she stopped when she heard horses ride into yard.
‘Jimmy,’ her mind recognized. Unfortunately, her mind was at a complete loss as to how to handle all the confusion bombarding her.
She heard Kid asking for her as she moved to the door, unseen by all and unheard by Rachel and Annabelle on the porch. If Lou wasn’t such an emotional wreck, she’d have wondered where Emma was playing.
When Jimmy’s deep voice resonated, “Kid, we have a problem,” Lou bit her knuckles to keep from crying out.
“What do you mean Jimmy?” Lou heard Kid ask his best friend.
“Well, you see Kid, Lou ain’t your wife now more – she’s mine.”
Simultaneously several things happened. Kid stood speechless a moment before anger bathed his features, Lou walked onto the porch looking like a white sheet and Emma, the spitting image of Kid, came flying around the corner of the house, singing and riding her stick horse.
“Daddy,” she yelled, flying into Jimmy’s arms, already holding her sister.
“Hello Emma honey,” Jimmy said softly, sensing the tension brewing within Kid.
Teaspoon looked between the three of them…Kid, Jimmy and Lou. Shaking his head, he crawled down off the wagon. Taking the girls from Jimmy, Teaspoon walked toward Rachel.
“You ladies come inside with me; the grown-ups got to do some talking,” he said to Rachel and the girls.
“But ain’t you grown-ups?” asked Emma.
“Well, right now, me and Rachel are going to pretend we ain’t and hope those three out there don’t forget that they are,” explained Teaspoon.
Emma seemed satisfied with that answer as she and Annabelle went inside with their grandparents.
Lou watched her two husbands for only a moment before Kid flew at Jimmy, knocking them both to the ground with the force.
