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it has been a long time since i shot down one of the "stealth fighters" of the indian gestapo. well i managed one a few days back.

i had to go all out to get it ( a sickly birdy) for now a days the birdies are extremely wary of me. they dont come any where near the killing range during the day time and if at all there is an odd one within sight, they scoot the moment i appear on the scene. i tried all sorts of tricks, like keeping a low profile, taking a devious route to the scene, all to no avail.

i have two pictures (before and after) of the martyr on picasaweb with a detailed caption. you get a link to the pictures at the bottom of this page as well.

taunting

i had sent letters to all sorts of people on the pBird in the context of the birdflu incidents - a copy of the letter is on my blog. basic idea was to raise a bit of confusion and to taunt the gestapo. the trick has paid off. more and more people are becoming aware of the gestapo and his stealth fighter - the stealth fighter is no more a "stealthh" fighter! and, as is evident from the massive mobilisation of the pbirds in this area, the gestapo is real annoyed.

now a days there is one pbird permanently posted to the jackfruit tree just adjacent to my bed room and the screeching has becoming more and more frequent. they land up only after the lights fade and so are not risking their lives. and the whole locality reverberates with the shrieks.

i for one have fallen into my nocturnal habits and hit the bed well beyond four in the morning and by that time the musicians are mostly tired. and in case they dare come out in the daytime the result will be what you see on picasa.

one man army

in my letter to the post master general i have produced proof to show that my letters are being delivered late, if at all they are being delivered at all. you see, when it is an unregistered article it is almost impossible to prove that the letter existed even, leave alone produce evidence that the delivery was being delayed or the thing was not delivered at all. but kind courtesy the "intelligence" of the gestapo and his clan i could produce evidence. but nothing whatsoever is being done about it.

not only that, there were no letters delivered to me after that complaint had gone. of course i have no one to write to me ( every one wants to communicage with me on the telephone and not in writing, the reason being that they dont want to leave a record of what they have said and want to do it on the sly. if i quote a telephonic conversation at a later date it can always be written off as another sign of insanity. a written letter cannot be written off that way; they are all highly intelligent!) . but i should have at least got my telephone bills.

that way my letter about the tampering with the fax messages to the telecom did not change matters a wee bit. of course there i have mentioned that it was not a complaint; as if that matters!

the fact of the matter is that no body, however highly placed an official he/she is, will ever dare to contradict the gestapo.

travails of the homeless

shifting house, they say is one of the three most stressful situations in life after bereavement and such. that is for a normal person - one who has friends, relatives and all to lend a helping hand.

now imagine the case of an "abnormal character" like me who has to do it all on his own; finding a house, packing, shifting and even moving stuff, has to be done by me all alone. and there could be people who at the sligtest chance will put a spanner in the wheels. and i have been doing it every few years and even yearly once in a while as happened last time when i shifted to this house.
i hate the shifting business whole heartedly.

that was why when the house owner landed up here in december i requested him to extend the agreement for another year; but he refused. the agreement was coming to an end on feb 10. so during the last two weeks of january i was running around in circles trying to find a new house.

i used to make regular visits to the public library on saturdays to look up a news paper in the local lingo for houses for rental advertisements. the news papers started disappearing from the racks or a plain clothes man or his pimp will be having it and going thorough it. so ultimateley i got a local news paper agent to deliver a copy of the news paper for a fortnight or so till i am able to find a house.

and i started running about meeting the house owners; of course, with the prostitute birds and the indian pimp service in tow (or even reaching the place ahead of me in case i have made a phone call to the owner prior to my journey). one of the trips took me to mangalapuram and only once i reached the place i realised it is about twenty kilometeres from trivandrum - my impression was that it was within ten kilometers. ( but the owner's wife compensated me with ada and tea). i was desperate for i needed at least a place to dump my things so that i can vacate the house in time to hand it over. those were tense days.

tell you what? even to day i can easily manage a house and many a house owner will tell me that they will keep the house pending till i give them a decision one way or other - i still have a bit of personal charm.

that is all till the indian gestapo lands on the scene. once the gestapo ("officer" police!) flashes his notorious identity card, there will be a (left) about turn! i was painfully aware of this fact.

but then there was a sudden turn of events. the owner of this house sent a message i can stay on for another year and boy, i heaved a sigh of relief.

what was the reason for this change of mind? most likely thing is that there was pressure from the indian gestapo to extend the rental; and who can say no to the gestapo.

why should the gestapo do it ? good question! you see the gestapo has cultivated the people in this area - all the locals have been turned against me; the local goons have been mobilised; the pbirds have been posted. now if i move out of this place the gestapo will also have to move his establishment and start of from scratch at the new place. are you getting the point?

all the same, i am extremely happy i dont have to shift immediately. over and above the headache of moving house there is another important reason as well. after i shifted to this house, i never had that wheezing attacks that i was getting frequently in the previous house. that way this place is neat and clean with lot of greenery . "enjoy eating the cake, and dont you worry about how many holes are there inside"

"haayi oh rabbah!"

"char dinom dee, lambi judayi" - reshma bowled me over with that one song! the emotions, or shall i say sensuality, is palpable; the buxom punjabi woman (yes; a mature worldly wise woman, and not a teenager) , the lush mustard fields in full bloom, the aroma of mother earth!

i have a copy of lambi judayi with me that i captured from the ctv. last week i was looking for further songs by reshma and downloaded six of them. the first thing i did was make a couple of audio CDs less the drm make a mess of things - how stupid, they wont allow you to play it on any computer other than the one on which it was dowloaded. i tried using the backed up license on an earlier album once i formatted the disk but it is not working. but once you make a cd you can copy it n number of times - who is going to stop you? and reshma was giving me company for the last few of days. but just one thing; the lambi judayi ( that one song only) on the indicom web is recording at a live concert - the original record is much better.

my psyche i feel is more akin to that of a north indian peasent. i can, some how or other, identify myself more easily with them; and i feel more at home with them and their ways.

memnoo ishq ho gaya, logo!



tata indicom's "NO-help" line

i could down load the songs not thanks to, but IN SPITE OF TATA INDICOM and their so called HELP-LINE. theirs is the most stupid help line i have ever come across.

as i mentioned earlier, initially i could down load music from their site cooly. but when i tried again, on 14 feb early morning hours i was not being allowed on to the down load site. most likely "for security reasons" - orders of the indian gestapo. i tried the help line 2700295 on the telephone from here ( by the way it is not toll free). that was in the early morning hours around 0400hr on 14 feb. i got connected twice but no one was coming on the line. during the day time i called again, told the chap about my problem and then he said there is an important message for me and to remain on line till he comes back. and there was no one coming back for three minutes and i disconnected the line. next time some one again put me on hold and this time i disconnected after one minute for i did not want to be tricked again.

i tried later in the night and got on to some one who gave me comlaint id and told me that there is a problem which they will sort out in 24 hours. nothing happened except that i made a total of seven calls or so and must have wasted half an hour of telephone time trying to get "help". people were being rude rather than of help.

ultimately i tried myself and found a way out - instead of trying to log in to the download site from their home page i had to first log into my account with them and there was a link to the down load site from there.

all that the unhelpful help line if tata indicom had to do was point out this link to me. if they were not aware of this what type of a help line are these people supposed to be? if they were aware of it why was it that they were not helping me? "security" reasons!

the unfortunate thing is that i have more than five hundred rupees of mine with tata indicom (i know it is a piddly sum for you but for some one whose sole monthly income is six thousand rupees it is a big amount) that i have to utilise before june this year. and so i might have to approach these characters again! that is in spite of them.

ooy, chad yaaarrr; let's enjoy the music.

today i was up and about by 0700hrs and that in spite of the fact that i went to bed at 0200hrs or so. i remember that i was in the bedroom at 0130hrs when the first bout of shrieking of the pBirds of the indian gestapo came on air. and at 0200hrs i was in bed watching a movie. it must be past 0300 hrs by the time i fell asleep. so getting up by 0630hrs or so means i hardly had around three hours of sleep. is it that age is catching up and i dont require as much sleep as in the past? Not at all.

the fact of the matter is that there was another bout of shrieking by the pBirds at around 0530hrs. there were a few members of this racket on the adjacent jackfruit tree just within two meters of my bed. and it was this shrieking that woke me up.

though i continued in bed it became impossible to go back to sleep. so i gave up the efforts and got up, brewed a cup of tea and was at the computer drafting these notes by 0700hrs. i started dozing off and had to go back to bed again at around 1000 hrs to wake up at 1300hrs rather refreshed.

yes, there has been a drastic increase in the pbird activity in the recent past; that is for the last couple of months.

a terribly upset gestapo

yes, the gestapo is terribly upset. they had boasted to the locals that they are going to do this thing and that thing and the other thing to me; but were not able to keep their promises.

technically at least i am still free and am living in a (rented) house of my own, on my own. i am not yet in a lunatic asylum nor in jail, to the utter disappointment of the local trivandrum "gentry" and the dismay of my beloved "relatives" prowling in the background!

it is not only that. i have been trying my level best to do the maximum mischief i can and the feed backs i get tell me that i am succeeding. yes; the gestapo is loosing face.

shadow boxing

my main problem is that i am fighting a shadow or a ghost if you please - the gestapo never comes out into the open but operates from underground. there is no way i can make direct contact with the gestapo as long as he is hiding under the skirts of obliging females (or eunuchs) and playing peekaboo from there.

let the gestapo come out and the game will be over in a jiffy; that is a promise. the only way is to taunt and tease and smoke the wretch out of that stinking hide out.

i desperately want to let the wretch know what exactly i think of them. but how do i convey my messages ? i have evolved a couple of means converting my adverse circumstances to my advantage!

ADAM

now a days my telephone answering machine (ADAM) is mostly on. there is hardly any tampering. (thanks to the bsnl?!) i am taking the fullest advantage of this facility.

i have the standard outgoing message (OGM) recorded on a cd so that i dont have a problem speaking into the machine time and again. well that way i have two different messages for a change once in a while. transfer it from the cd to the answering machine and whenever a call comes adam wakes up and delivers the message. the speaker of the machine is set to zero volume and there is no sound heard over here as gets activated - it is all done silently.

next thing is for me to go out, make a call from a pay phone to my home telephone. the answering machine is set to respond after two rings and it comes on line. i listen for the message to ensure that i have not dialed another number by mistake.

now, the answering machine is left alone does not mean that there is no tampering - the gestapo or his pimp is online all through. so speak out and pass the message to the gestapo. tell him all sorts of stories ( the latest deals with how "kunjante appi" is disposed off in villages in malabar in the olden days and draws a comparison with the gestapo and the mode of disposal. it is an interesting story - ask the gestapo for details.) the gestapo dumbly listens helplessly.

i see to it that i choose a coin drop telephone in an isolated place so that i can use all sorts of epithets without embarassment to anybody else other than the gestapo and his pimps. it is just one rupee for the first thirty seconds and an additional rupee for every additional ninety seconds. the gestapo is fretting and fuming and his pimps also in turn end up in a similar state of mind. there is nothing they can do about it legally.

eMail

i am certain that my internet connection is being tampered with and it is most likely routed through a proxy server set up by the indian gestapo. so i make a mail with whatever i have to convey to the gestapo, add graphics (of the nude female orangutans who happen to be the gestapo's girl friends) if necessary. next thing is to send it from one of my many web mail accounts say with gmail to another of my own account say with yahoo.

when i click send button, the mail first reaches the gestapo, the gestapo reads it and gets the jitters. if the gestapo feels like, the mail is let through and it goes to the google mail server - it is in seattle, no? - across the continents. again when i access the mail it again reaches the gestapo's proxy server. the gestapo gets another exposure to the contents of the mail and the mail is passed on to me.

the gestapo can whistle for it!

my puter

now, at least for arguements sake, accept that my home computer is being taken over by the gestapo ( i can tell you with one hundred percent confidence it is) this eventuality is also being converted to my advantage. rather than go on repeating all those interesting epithets addressed to the great indian gestapo, i have action movies made which i play in the background on my computer as i continue with my work.

once in a while i take a look and many a time i find that the screen of the media player is showing a blank reddish thing and no picture is visible. this happens especially during day time - may be there are people around in the gestapo's adda in those times. i close the media player and restart it and the video will be there till the gestapo manipulates it the next time.

believe (you) me, my messages and taunts are reaching the great indian gestapo. but what the Effing hell can they do about it?

impotent rage

there is nothing the gestapo can do in the above situations except pass the information to the decision making authorities in private; and past experience shows that it has not helped at all.

the gestapo obviously is not happy about it; how come a common mortal is taking liberties with the divine indian gestapo? the gestapo lapses into a state of seething impotent rage. in a desperate attempt to get even with me the gestapo lets loose a hired thug on me!

THE MESSAGE PART

that was all by the way and now here comes the message to you. if you want to communicate with me, please do so in writing; send it by registered post; insist on an acknowledgement and ensure that it is delivered correctly. i can assure you postal articles addressed to me are also delivered or not delivered depending on the whims of the indian gestapo. i have made a mention of that in my recent jottings on diary land.

i no more attend any incoming telephone calls. the fact of the matter is that if i take a telephonic message there is no way i can make out who it is from; nor do i have the facility to record incoming messages and reproduce it and prove that so and so had made a telephone call to me and this is what he or she said. so as matters stand, anybody can say anything to me on the telphone or for that matter in an eMail and get away with it. if i say at a later date say that i got a message like that and if what i say does not suit the "intelligentsia" here, it will be taken as an "auditory hallucination" and another sign of my insanity. same thing applies to eMails as well - there it will be called visual hallucination.

there is some time for anyone to leave a message on my answering machine. i dont take those messages. in fact i dutifully wipe them clean by either resetting the machine which clears up all the settings including the incoming and outgoing messages or else access the message with the speaker at zero volume and delete all of them. so rest assured i wouldnt be knowing what is the mesage or who left it or even where it came from - i no more use a caller id on my phone.

the telephone is for two way communication. it is with good intentions only that i brought an answering machine - i paid the bpl ltd Rs.4000/- for it in the late ninetees. i am a loner and in case some body wants to leave a message while i am not at home or am busy (may be in the bathroom) - that was the idea of spending so much money on an answering machine. but the pimps started tampering with it and made it practically of no use to me.

another thing is that it is that i am talking about my personal telephone. i am paying for it and not the indian gestapo or his grand father for that matter nor his pimps from any where else in the world.

my home telephone is for my convenience and i dont have to perforce attend a call from the "special pakkichi branch police man" and trade abuses with him; or from anybody else for that matter if i find it inconvenient to me. but remember; your office telephone or the home telephone your employer has provided you is an altogether different issue. you are duty bound to attend it. - what duty and who is bothered about it?

A FRIEND IN NEED

and to people who are trying to be pally with me what i have to say is that i am only interested in some one who has the guts to give witness in a court of law that i am being trailed by plainclothes policemen.( do not worry about the harassment part; i will take care of that). and that i want it in advance in writing. a friend in need

is
A FRIEND INDEED

others please keep away

good riddance to bad rubbish

the one and only success the gestapo had over all these years is that they have succeeded in isolating me.that is not because of any failings in me and even the gestapo is very much aware of it. those who are supposed to stand by you through thick and thin and those whom i took to be my own are the ones who did the dirty on me. it is ridiculous trying to make up at this late juncture. your attitude towards me, as always, should be: "good riddance to bad rubbish" Keep it up!

thank you very much!

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