Poetry Pg.2

"Slumber of Tears"

"Never"

I count my tears instead of sheep, this warm moisture slides down as I cry myself to sleep. No happy thoughts to dream new things, Instead of dreams; nightmares come and saddness and sorrow fly around on wings.   I toss and turn through tears of night, these tears come down and clud my eyes, there's only darkness, no sign of light.   Inspired by anger, hate, and my fears. No sleep for my body and soul to rest, I'll cry myself to sleep for a thousand years.                                                -8/12/03

I'll never have the chance to admit how I feel, I'll never understand why no one uses their power to heal. I'll never not wonder how I'll look after a meal. I'll never really realize that the life I'm living is real.   I'll never be the girl that get's the guys. I'll never have all the things I'd like to buy. I'll never be able to not feel guilty when I lie. I'll never let them see me when I cry.   I'll never be the person they want me to be. I'll never feel that my soul is truly free. i'll never see what they want me to see. I'll never be able to be who I want, and just be me.       -10/5/02

"Why Can't I Stop?"

Unloved and untouched is how I'm described. Good verses Evil I can't pick a side. Alone and six feet under is where I lay, some might say i dug my own grave.   I can't fight these feelings that run through my head, I'm so sick and tired of loving you i wish i were dead. I wish I could see inside of you're soul, perhaps the incite would fill my haert's large empty hole.   I'm constantly thinking of you and I get so mad at myself. I try over and over again but I can't think of anything else.   I don't understand why I bother trying. Everytime I get rejected by you I feel like I'm dying.   So help me through this hell which they call life, let me know that it's okay not to pick up a knife, and that it'll take time...but I'll learn to survive. (Alone.)                               -4/5/03

"Empty'

My heart seves no purpose while wrapped in this flesh, ever since I've known this my life's been a mess.   I'm left unaware of what I'm doing wrong, I've left these black tears run down my face too long.   I'm afraid the light at the end of the tunnle will be out. I don't want to live this life without knowing what it's all about.   No longer do I feel the spirit for life that I once did. I'm sick of being told I can't feel this way, I'm just a kid,   There isn't a specific age for feeling a certain way, So i should be free to feel what I feel and say what I want to say.                          -4/11/03

"I can't keep Hiding"

"Thoughts that cloud my mind"

Through the thickness of the dark and the thiness of the light, Let the flame in my soul spark and let it guide me through the night.   Allow me to breathe in the mist, the evil influences this delicate soul. Let me endure the Demons kiss, I'll experience this life no matter what the toll.   I'm down praising you on my knee's Never repenting my demonic ways, Make all the demons stop now please, underground is where my body lays.   It's too late now to get away, this soul can't run and hide forever. Somehow I'll step into the light of day and keep hoping this life can turn out for the better.                               -3/5/03

Knocking on this hollow door. It was left ajar by you so long agao. My mind tells me to step away but my hand keeps on knocking.   My eyes stair into you're empty eyes. They use to hold so much emotion and depth. Now they are lost; hollow like the door.   These scars are old but can't be touched. One look from you makes them burn. You've caused so much pain without knowledge of doing so.   My heart remains open on the floor for you to step on and walk all over. Love has been replaced by hate; the muddy footprints remain.   I smile at the thout of happieness. My insides do sumercaults in the air at the mear thought of us. But back to reality, i fall onto the cold/hard ground.   I stay awake and numb but walk through the days. I live; i live each day without having life.   Silence fades away through the thick darkness. The sounds of you're voice begin to come through. They are the only thing that can penetrate the wall.          -9/20/03