Chapter Ten: Indefinite Occasion


Itching and pricking and clawing at my skin. Begging me please dont keep me within. All the lights go out and i can still see it glowing. Glowing and buzzing and ticking and thumping. Anad they all close their eyes and everyone sees it. The forked penis of life. Which path will you choose and they all se the light and the glow and the buzz shooting pains up your arm as you contemplate those thoughts and the world keeps spinning and you're always winning. what if it stops glowing and silence takes over your ever so changing self. and the sky fades to black and everyone quiets. the quiet so loud it eats through your brain. burning holes in your spine and no one can see them. because everyones blind but you open the cover and the glowing returns. a never ending cycle of buzzing and burns. all the while the punches and turns and you share the air and it passes through you and then your eyes close and we all speak our truths but some block it out and some change their minds and others keep shaking and know its all lies. those days are so shallow, when sleep never comes and the eyes are all closed but the sun seems to run. always afraid but seemingly fun, and the ticking begins and the glowing seems faint but then everything changes and you all wake from this. the next day will bring wonders of curiosity and bliss. the next day seems so hopeless and everyone frowns but the flowers come back and they fly from the ground. she wakes up and smiles unimaginable things. you turn on your side and hear the earth sing. and the glowing gets brighter and no one cand stop but you cannot help it because you are lost. and the buzz continues ever so faintly and a diamond shatters amongst 5 deep souls. never underestimating the paths they've chose. cant seem to get these thoughts out of my mind. searching for nothing and something i'll find. questioning and boom the noise echos again. and you climb that great tower and jump from within. on those days that seem hopeless you cant tell a soul. want to keep it all secret for no one to know. but inside you think things that you will never tell. because on days like tomorrow you yourself will not know. illegible writings gods greatest gift. for with it you may write and they will never read for you have the key and i have the lock and with it you can lock me away forever but i will never open up and once again the tears fall from the sky landing with crimson blood flowing to my eye. the glowing gets brighter we all wonder why this mania does haunt us the next day is goodbye. but never shall i leave you for the mania always returns. with the next day of freedom and scarecrows and birds. the sun shines right through us and we all must wonder why it all happens. listen to the thunder and tell me why. answer all my questions without looking to the sky. and i feel my hand numbing as slower i write knowing tomorrow will hold an inner fight. arrivingn back home with silence and pain. but only to learn and teach and gain. the words become deformed as i stare at the page. writing love and writing rage. the current is strong and the buzzing will eternally glow and lies will spread but no one will know. 7:00 and it slams in my face. wake up to my culture with a discriminating race. will anyone see the hidden treasure within. overlooking the crime and violence and sin. sadly awakening to fear and hope awaking days later to face a homocideal dope. numbing your tonsils a kick in the face. screaming and naming a nameless trace. the toxens surround you i have to exhale. reflections so loudly glare into my eyes. scratching so loud they must hear me now. silence yourself with a gun powdered pillow. reach to the skys and i will hush your spirit into my days dont evers top glowing or making that buzz it will save you someday, we all need your love. Chapter Eleven
falling into forever
sugar and blood