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The way you like it..
April 26, 2007 - 11:03pm
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So close to being done with school for about eight months. I finally talked myself into taking a break. It's come to the point that I feel it's in my best interest to slow down before I spontaneously explode into flames. The last couple of weeks I have woken up, I have had a constant headache and my entire body aches from bruises. Past and present ones. Unfortunately, Painkillers have become my best friend. I don't need them, but I use them to be able to make it through my day, as I don't have any other solution right now.
"'Cause everything just fell apart for me. I cracked my head and broke my.. I cracked my head and broke my heart."
This semester started out great. I had wonderful classes, my job was tolerable, and my life outside of school was great. Then everything just decided to dwindle into a state of absolute fucked. The dream I was living in with Lilith was completely shattered one night and that just drove me off the deep end. However, as they say, time heals everything and I finally don't feel a thing for her. *shrug* Her loss. Unfortunately, with that, I come to the realization that I have nothing left right now. Slowly, each day, I come to terms with it. I'll live. I honestly don't need her shit, and she is damn lucky that I still try to care even after everything she's done to me. That thread wears thin though. Hell, tonight, she asked for my help then told me to go to hell when I said I was going to bed, and couldn't help. Fuck that, and fuck her. That's not how to threat someone who, even after all this, gets her FUCKING FOOD EVERYDAY.
"Thank you for making me feel like I'm guilty. Making it easy to murder your sweet memory. I'm severing the heart then I'm leaving your corpse behind. Not dead but soon to be, though. I won't be the one who killed you. I'll just leave that up to you."
That's all I can write tonight. Perhaps, I shall continue this..
John.
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