GOOD EVENING! Or morning, or afternoon, whichever the case
may be.  welcome to Shut.  The place where you learn to do 
just that.  Okay, let's start with your ass.  keep it shut.
Great!  That wasn't so hard, was it?

     Now, look at the mental picture of your dream house. 
Find a door that sticks out more than the rest.  Got it?
Good. Now, get up off of your lazy (but shut) ass and look
around.  Find a door in your real house that best resembles 
the door you pictured in your mind.  Is it shut?  No.  Now
shut it!  You see, you knew I would ask that, and therefore, 
did not choose a door from your dreamhouse that matched an
opened real door.

     In life, there are all sorts of doors and things (and 
asses) that need be kept shut, or kept from being shut.  For
example, the doors in your mind.  What if somebody (we'll 
name him Moy) were behind one of the doors in your mind? 
What if (Moy) needed to be let out before he started causing
problems?  Hey, maybe he was put there so he wouldn't cause 
any pr . . . well, there is something to be said for leaving 
doors shut.  but for how long?  and how long should doors remain 
open?  And which ones actually should?  And for what reasons?
Perhaps to let those behind them know that it's safe to come
out or to stay in, or maybe to tease them into trying to get in 
or out?  So many questions.

THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN!!!
I didn't want to mention it before, but by reading this document,
you have waived all rights for objecting and/or pleading your
case against becoming the representative whose title we will not
disclose means,
                      
"PERSON WHO OPENS AND CLOSES ALL THE DOORS AND 
CONTROLS THE LENGTH OF OPEN AND CLOSE TIME AND 
CHOOSES THE REASONS WHY AND BASICALLY MAKES ALL
THE IMPORTANT DECISIONS.

This document was your training.  Now just fill out the 
application below and wait.  For suspense and nerve-teasing
purposes, I won't say how long of a wait it will be, but know 
that you'll know what to do when you get that first assignment.
Remember, you have no right to object.  If you back out, you 
will be locked behind one of your mental doors with someone
who doesn't like you who will be allowed to take over your 
body periodically to destroy your life.
Hope you have lots of adventures, and remember to enjoy yourself.

Yours truly,

Management.




Name___________________________________________________
    (last)        (first)          (MI)       (other)

Age (circle one) 18  not 18    Sex:  M or F /// times a day ___

Gender______________         Preference____________


I live at_______________________________________________

you can reach me because_________________________

I like to__________________, but not while________________.

Tradition:  Y     N

Other stuff that might tell us about you:
     _____________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________


and lastly, your name again here: X___________________







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