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7/26, 7:05 p.m.
Colorado Rockies at Milwaukee Brewers, Miller Park
(Or, "Why on Earth does Wisconsin have a Major League Baseball team?")


Box score | Recap
R H E
Rockies
Brewers
0 0 0 0 2 1 0 0 0
0 2 4 1 0 0 0 3 -
3 8 0
10 13 0

First off, an apology on behalf of Steve and Jeff: this installment is late, but it's only because there was a convention in Osh Kosh.

Apparently, southwestern Wisconsin is such a hotbed of tourism that if a convention is held in a quasi-suburban area of the state, every hotel within 400 miles fills up. Some sort of convention in the last meters of civilized space upsets the balance so badly that it forces otherwise normal people to sleep in their car in the parking lot of a bank.

Jeff and Steve HATE Wisconsin now. Not a Detroit sort of hate - as Steve says, he also pities Detroit. But the hate is present nonetheless. After all, this isn't just the state that forced them into a crappy night's sleep. It's the state that churns out subpar beer, subpar women (Maybe they're all at Wrigley, too? It's only two hours away…) and subpar baseball, the latter courtesy of the Milwaukee Brewers.

To be fair, Friday's game was well played. And the place did get pretty raucous. Unfortunately, the ruckus
Damn Wisconsin and their infernal cheese conventions!

mostly stemmed from a bench clearing incident in the third inning and the now infamous sausage race that occurs nightly at Miller Park. All-Star Richie Sexon did bring the crowd to its feet late with a blast to centerfield, but fans still seemed more excited to sneak a peek of Bob Ueker in the broadcast booth than to see their Brewers win a game which is odd, since the wins around here are few and far between.

The view from Steve's left field bleacher seat at Miller Park. Really.
The Brewers remain one of baseball's worst teams, consistently having one of the three worst records in baseball and usually having an offense that leads the majors in strikeouts. To add to their troubles, their brand new, multi-million dollar, state-of-the-art baseball stadium is one of the most disappointing visits in baseball. Sure, it has all the amenities that the other new parks have: large, comfortable seats with cupholders; luxury boxes to
generate revenue; natural grass, lots of concessions and restrooms, but after that you need to consider:
  • that the retractable roof (you know, the one that's supposed to keep water out) is already leaking, though the park is barely two years old.

  • that the most noticeable feature of the park is the (broken) retractable roof. The second most noticeable feature is the ventilation system, which can be seen from virtually every part of the park.
This brief and uneventful bench-clearing incident was one
of the only things that got Bud's Brewer faithful excited.
  • that the fans don't really understand the game of baseball. They only get really excited for the home runs and the sausage race, which is basically four idiots in sausage costumes running around the warning track for thirty seconds. Wooooooooooooo!

Steve marvels at the (empty, cavernous, sh*tty) center-field concourse.
Okay, so we stopped to take a picture of Uke, too.

If the Brewers organization has any redeeming
quality, it's that Robin Yount played for them...
...and Paul Molitor.

Brewer All Star Richie Sexson steps to the plate just before his 404-foot 8th inning home run.
 


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