Jokes!!

Here are some examples of the jokes available from this page:

Top ten things you don't want to overhear from the cockpit
10. "The union president called - he said the pilots' strike starts IMMEDIATELY."
9. "We'll just ask the flight attendant to wake us up when we get there."
8. "My name is Forrest Gump - people call me Forrest Gump."
7. "Hey, Jim, do you remember where we're going?"
6. "Buckle your seat belt - I'm going to try something I saw in a cartoon."
5. "Bye, bye, Miss American Pie..."
4. "Wow, we're sure a lot lighter now that we dropped that second engine!"
3. "Only 500 more flight hours, and I'll get my license!"
2. "They say this plane practically flies itself. Good thing, huh?"
1. "TODAY WE DIE FOR ALLAH!"

The top 10 ways to get kicked off a jury:
10. When the prosecutor approaches the jury box, attempt to give him your drink order.
9. Snore so loud that it wakes the other jurors.
8. Ask for a conjugal visit with the judge's wife.
7. When items are held up to be entered as evidence, shout out a bid.
6. Snicker loudly whe witnesses swear to tell the truth.
5. Wear a rainbow wig and hold a JOHN 3:16 sign.
4. Leap from your seat and try to wrestle the service revolver from a court officer.
3. Show up three consecutive days with pie on your face.
2. Every time someone objects, knock back a jell-o shot.
1. Refuse to remove your Walkman.

More Jokes, click here



Here are some mama insults that are funny and good to use on other people:

Yo mama's so nice, she'd give me the hair off her back.
Yo mama's so nice, she blew me for a nickel when I didn't have enough for the $2 sex!

Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Yo mama's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.

Yo mama so fat, when I walked by her house, I saw her ass in every window!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!

Yo mama's so ugly her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly I took her to haunted house and she came out with a job application

More mama insults, click here


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