Remember this is not one of my jokes... and unfortunately I don't have a reference
to who it has been written by.
BECAUSE WE ARE MEN
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race, you're a male chauvinist pig: if you stay at home and do the
housework you're a pansy.
If you work too hard there is never any time for her and the kids: if
you don't work hard enough you're a good for nothing layabout.
If she has a boring repetitive job, with low pay, that is
exploitation: if we have a boring repetitive job with low pay, we
should get off our butt and find something better.
If a man gets a promotion ahead of her that's favouritism: if she gets
a promotion ahead of him that's equal opportunity.
If we mention how nice she looks that's sexual harassment: if we
keep quiet that is typical male indifference.
If we cry we're a sheila: if we don't we're insensitive.
If a man thumps her that is wife bashing: if she thumps him it's self
defence.
If he makes a decision without her he's a chauvinist: if she makes a
decision without regard to his feeling then she's a liberated woman.
If he asks her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that is domination:
if she asks him it's a favour.
If we appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, we're sexual
perverts: if we don't notice, we're poofters. [ed: yay, the
poofters!]
If we like a woman to keep in shape and shave her legs that is
sexist: if we don't care that is unromantic.
If we try to keep ourselves in shape that is vanity: if we don't
we're slobs.
If he buys her flowers he's after something: if he doesn't he's
forgetful.
If we are proud of our achievements we are up ourselves: if we aren't
we're not ambitious.
If she has a headache it's because she's tired: if he has a headache
it's because he doesn't love her anymore.
If we want it too often we're oversexed: if we can't perform on cue
we must be seeing someone else. [ed: ooh ... how vague!]
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