Remember this is not one of my jokes... and unfortunately I don't have a reference
to who it has been written by.
Shipwrecked
A man is shipwrecked near a desert island and manages to swim to safety.
He crawls up the beach, shattered and alone, all his possessions lost
forever. As he makes his way up to the single palm tree, he notices
something in the sand - it looks like a human hand.
Sure enough it is a human hand, in fact it's the hand of Claudia Schiffer
who was also shipwrecked at an earlier date, and then unfortunately
buried by a freak sandstorm.
Our hero rescues the teutonic beauty, and she is, as you can imagine,
eternally grateful. For many days they live happily together - basking in
the sunshine, making love in the sand, catching fresh fish, making love
against the single palm tree, drinking coconut milk, making love in the
sea - but despite this idyllic lifestyle, Claudia notices our hero (lets
call him Bob) getting more and more restless.
One day, unable to control her curiosity, she confronts him: "Darling,
Bob, is there anything wrong?"
Bob sighs, and replies "Claudia, this is all really great, and you're a
babe and all, but I can't go on like this any longer."
Claudia is disconsolate. "What is it Bob? Do I not please you? Do I not
cater for your every need and desire? Is there anything I could do that
would make it better?"
Bob (warily): "well there is one thing - would you mind taking and
putting on my trousers?"
Claudia is spooked, but agrees, and Bob removes his tatty trousers and
hands them over. She put them on.
Bob (more excited now): "Great, now will you put on my shirt?"
Claudia reticently does as she is told.
Bob (in raptures): "Brilliant. Now will you tie back your hair and draw a
moustache on with this charcoal and go over there behind the single palm
tree and then walk out from behind it and say "Hello, Bob, it's me, your
old friend Jim!"?"
Claudia can't stand this and refuses. But Bob is persistant, and so
excited by this point that eventually she agrees to his request on the
condition that it is a one off and she will never have to do it again.
She does as requested and, when she is ready, she steps out nervously
from behind the single palm tree.
Claudia: "Hello, Bob, it's me, your old friend Jim!"
Bob: "Jim! Mate! You will not BELIEVE who I'm shagging!" Go back to my jokes' page Go back to my page Go back to the main homepage
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