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Remember this is not one of my jokes... and unfortunately I don't have a reference to who it has been written by.

Stranded

There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the 
first time.  It was wonderful, the experience of his life.  He was  being waited 
on hand an foot.  But, it did not last.  A Hurricane came up unexpectedly.  The
ship went down almost instantly.

The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen.  No person, no supplies, 
nothing.

The man looked around.  There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was
it.

He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it. So for 
the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to 
the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue.

One day, as he was lying on the beech stroking his beard and looking for a
ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of hiseye.  Could it be true, 
was it a ship?  No, from around the corner of the island came this rowboat. In 
it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least seen in 4 months.
She was tall, tanned, and her blond hair flowing in the sea breeze gave her
an almost ethereal quality.  She spotted him also as he was waving and yelling
and screaming to get her attention.  She rowed her boat towards him.

In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from?  How did you get here"?
She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.  I landed on this island
when my cruise ship sank."  "Amazing", he said, "I didn't know anyone else had
survived.  How many of you are there?  Where, did you get the rowboat?  You
must have been really lucky to have a rowboat wash-up with you?"

"It is only me", she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up, nothing else
did."

 "Well then", said the man, "how did you get the rowboat?" I made the 
rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island, replied  the woman.  The 
oars were whittled from Gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from Palm branches,
and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree".

 "But, but, asked the man, what about tools and hardware, how did you do
that?"

 "Oh, no problem, replied the woman, on the south side of the island there 
is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.  I found that If I fired it to 
a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron.  I 
used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware.  But, enough of 
that, she said.  Where do you live?"  At last the man was forced to confess that 
he had been sleeping on the beach.  "Well, let's row over to my place, she 
said."
 
So they both got into the rowboat and left for her side of island.

The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to 
her place.  She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope. They
walked up a stone walk and around a Palm tree, there stood an exquisite bungalow
painted in blue and white.

 "It's not much, she said, but I call it home.  Sit down please, would you
like to have a drink?" "No, said  the man, one more coconut juice and I will 
puke."

 "It won't be coconut juice, the woman replied, I have a still, how about a
Pina Colada?  Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and
they sat down on her couch to talk.

 After a while, and they had exchanged their stories, the woman asked, "Tell
me, have you always had a beard?"  "No", the man replied, "I was clean 
shaven all of my life, and even on the cruise ship".

 "Well if you would like to shave, there is a man's razor upstairs in the
cabinet in the bathroom." So, the man, no longer questioning anything, went
upstairs to the bath  room. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a 
bone handle, two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end
inside of a swivel mechanism.  The man shaved, showered and went back down
stairs.

 "You look great, said the woman, I think I will go up and slip into 
something more comfortable."  So she did.

 And, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada.  After a short time,  the
woman returned wearing fig leafs strategically positioned and smelling faintly of
gardenia.

 "Tell me, she asked, we have both been out here for a very long time with 
no companionship.  You know what I mean.  Have you been lonely, is there 
anything that you really miss?  Something that all men and woman need. Something that
it would be really nice to have right now."

 "Yes there is, the man replied, as he moved closer to the woman while 
fixing a winsome gaze upon her,  "Tell me ... Do you happen to have an Internet
connection?"


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