This page hosted by
Get your own Free Home Page




Remember this is not one of my jokes... and unfortunately I don't have a reference to who it has been written by.

Diagnosis

Bob complained to his friend -My elbow really hurts.  I guess
I should see a doctor.- His friend offered, -Don't do that!!!
There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything,
quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your
urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what
 you can do about it.  It only costs $10.00.-

Bob figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store.  Finding the computer, he poured
in the sample and deposited the $10.00.  The computer started making
some noises and the various lights started flashing.  After a brief
pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

 You have tennis elbow

 Soak your arm in warm water.

 Avoid heavy labor

 It will be better in two weeks.


Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was
and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder
if this machine could be fooled.  He decided to give it a try. He
mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine
samples from his wife and daughter.  To top it off, he masturbated
into the concoction.  He went back to the drug store, located the
machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine
again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:

 Your tap water is too hard

 Get a water softener.

 Your dog has worms

 Give him vitamins.

 Your daughter's on drugs,

 Put her in rehab.

 Your wife's pregnant

 It ain't yours---get a lawyer.

 And if you don't stop jerking off,

 Your tennis elbow will never get better.


Go back to my jokes' page
Go back to my page
Go back to the main homepage