Ben Cairn

The Details: Being at 1040m elevation it's a good summer crag, and worth visiting when there's low cloud - cause it's likely to be basking in sunshine above the cloud! The most positive thing you could say about it goes to Mike Law: "worst crag in the world, with some of the best climbs". I take the point, but then again it looks like a pile of shit, and frankly, a lot of the routes live up to appearances. It's only about 100m long, mainly slabby, though nearly gets vertical off the deck for some routes. The rock is a type of granite (I think), bloody weird "grey blob-ite" similar to fine-grained sandstone, but quite solid (doesn't crumble when you smear on it). There's plenty of surprisingly blank (desperate) low angled slabs, and the odd dyke. For holds, there's no crimps or edges, just slight little 50c-sized knobs and dishes everywhere, and the grade varies depending on the height/depth of each knob/dish (rarely more than 3-4mm). There's also plenty of vertical crack features, but on most climbs they fizzle out after the steep lower bit to leave you stranded on another holdless slab! The cracks are surprisingly consistent width - eg for each one it's like "gees I wish I had 3 #X cams" (with X being anywhere between microcam and #2 camalot). The biggest problem is the thick moss growth, all routes required extensive cleaning to establish, and apart from a handful of trade routes you're likely to encounter mossy regrowth on crucial holds on many routes. The unpopular routes have entirely disappeared beneath the moss again (average regrowth of 2 inches!).

Access: 1hr drive E of Melbourne, 5-7min walk. It's dead easy to find, head out the Maroondah Hwy to Healesville, and 200m after crossing the small bridge in Healesville turn R into Don Rd. You follow this the rest of the way - several kms winding up the hill on bitumen, ignoring all the turn-offs. After it turns to dirt, continue for another 5kms to a well signposted parking area for 'Ben Cairn'. Proceed particularly cautiously on the dirt road, there are several blind corners and many places where the road is too narrow to pass.

From the carpark, follow the obvious signposted trail for a steep but short (500m) walk up the hill to the top. As you gain the ridge, a fence/lookout becomes obvious, this extends along above the main wall of the crag, and makes a very convenient anchor for all routes!

Descent(s): The best walk down for the main wall is at the L end of the crag (facing out). There is another descent 60m further R along the top, just R of a large boulder (facing out). However this descent requires frictioning down a slab, which is fine in climbing shoes but not safe when in walking shoes and with a big pack on. The descent at the far R end of the crag sucks the big one, it's scrubby and much longer.

Described L to R. Unlike the guide, this means that the Lower Tier comes first.

Lower Tier

* Frankenstein and the Wereturkeys 12m 19 (F) To start with a phrase I use a lot on Melbourne's local routes: "not worth a star at any other crag". But it's worth doing. You can get a low wire on the left at the start which won't stop a grounder but should stop you going off the ledge. The new FH is then slightly insecure to clip but ok, and certainly is before the crux in it's new position. A few pulls on positive crimps (rare for Ben Cairn!) gets you to the jug, then you get a fun rockover onto the jug before your next gear, after which the climbing eases and there is tonnes of pro. Matt demonstrates the luverly rockover on Frankenstein and the Wereturkeys. This is about as steep as Ben Cairn routes get!

Eastern Arete 12m 21 (YP) Real solid for the grade, even with freshly brushed holds, but well worth doing. It's the arete immediately R of Frankenstein and immediately left of Flapjack. And no folks, it doesn't need a bolt. It's only 12m high fer crissake, just toprope the bloody thing. Matt and his shadow dance up Eastern Arete - Flapjack is the corner on the right. . . . . . .

* Flapjack 12m 19 (OS) This one is definitely worth a star compared to other starred routes here. It's got good (surprisingly insecure!) climbing the whole way and has enough pro (though it'd be nice if the bend-o pin got replaced...). That man Matt again!! This time he's been sucked into laybacking the finish of Flapjack, while Mark watches from below. . . . . . . .

Central Area

Plum Jam 12m 14 (OS)
3m R of RR. Steep bouldery start to a ledge, then a lovely-looking granite-style flaring groove for 6m with great jamming down the back of it. Well worth doing to test your jamming skills, but it's not 12 (!) and it's bloody painful on your feet by the end, as there's absolutely zero faceholds here.

** Protagonist 12m 24 (TR)
The first 7m of this route is simply remarkable and if there was more it would totally be a 3 star classic. The variety and unique nature of the moves is a real eye opener. An amazing example of how appallingly bad holds can still be just enough to keep you on. It's the steep shallow seam 3m R of PJ. Step up to good jams above the low recess, then a key R foot jam allows you to pull on the terrible shallow fingerlocks to get established on the face. Shuffle the R foot jam higher to get a single knuckle lock, then oppose a rubbish L foot smear with an equally rubbish R foot gaston to spooge yourself up left to an appalling 1/4 pad slopy dish. R hand then turns into a downward pushing handjam near your knees (!!!!!) to get you back up R into some very slightly less insecure fingerlocks. Another remarkable move off this gains a sharp, but miniscule, crimp rail. And yes, you have to mantle it!! A couple of slab moves over the final bulge and you're done. A bloody superb sequence of moves if you ask me, and probably beats Skating Away for the best route at the crag, even though it's only a quarter the length.

A view showing all of the good section of Protagonist, with Mark halfway through the hard work.

Who said slabs weren't powerful? Mark working hard on Protagonist Mark (and his shadow) model the "bomber" jams on Protagonist

Mark halfway through one of the timeless moments on Protagonist, where you drop back to 3 points of contact and wonder how the hell you're still on the rock.

You thought I was joking about the mantle finish didn't you!! Mark shows how it's done on Protagonist

* Pie in the Sky 14m 15 (OS)
Not worth a star at any other crag. 7m R of PJ. The usual steep bouldery start, then a nice steep cramped quasi-mantle onto a small shelf (crucial L foot toejam, R foot up to crappy edge, L hand up to palm/gaston the blank L wall, and R foot onto shelf, stand up). Up another one of those grooves (2-3 #2 camalots), textbook jamming for 5m to a short easy slab. Both the mantle and the jamming are sandbags at the grade.

The Big One 14m 22 (YP)
No pro (unless you get all contrived by putting cams in PitS without actually using it's holds!). Worth doing for the two nice technical sequences. Mantle as for PitS, then a lovely move up R to good crimps on the R of the small seam. Then reach high L to crappy gaston, and get your R foot up onto the crimps, slab style required to move up from here without holds. As usual it's all about the feet. Up the easy slab (trending L into PitS, unless you like climbing moss).

** Skating Away 22m 19 (OS)
The crag classic. Starts up the most attractive feature of the crag, a nice 8m system of off-fingers cracks, each of which fizzles out in the usual rapid manner, with another crack taking over until the angle eases off - to deposit you on a grade 19 blank slab! The cracks are delightful and easy enough, until the crux up the final shallow fingers section, stepping L through the steepening and onto the blank slab above, PBF desperate and protected by a microcam at your feet!! "Hail Mary" smearing continues for 12m up the desperately blank slab without a rest, with some interesting moments clipping the massive bolt 5m above your last gear (take a wire to put on it). Excellent route.

Right End

* Digit Dancer 25m 20 (OS)
Only about 6m of independent climbing from Pancake Flake. If an independent finish actually exists, it badly needs a clean! Anyway, up tricky slab as for PF, then where PF moves L along the undercling flake, go straight up a line of surprisingly ok holds on the small nose/arete, just L of the 3 bolts. The route description suggests you finish "2m R of PF's tree, and up the clean slab above", but in reality the holds take you to right beside PF's tree, and the only clean rock above is PF itself so that's how I did it.

Cracker Tube 20m 12 (OS) Worthwhile...by Ben Cairn standards. The pro is where you need it, there's several moves at the grade and the holds are sort of clean. Starts about 12m up R of PF at a small flake 2m L of RT's overlap. Up the flake to the L end of the overlap (good small cam), then over it and up the seams and cracks (good big wires) trending slightly R into the gully. Up this to the top. Rubber Things 20m 17 (YP) Would be quite a bold lead, both when clipping the crap bolt and when moving up the slab above it. This is 15m up R of PF, and best identified by the obvious cleaned streak through the low overlap, and by the rib/arete which it follows up higher. A good cam goes under the overlap, then the crux is standing up onto the lip on some crap feet with no hands. Have fun hanging around to clip the bolt.... then marginally easier but still tricky slabbing up to the base of the arete/rib, which is quite fun, the moves are right on the front of it while there's good gear in the crack on its L side.

Nic on Cracker Tube. PF and DD finish just beyond the arete on the R, while RT finishes up the arete on the L

Cordial Kids 12m 18 (YP)
The clean corner at the far R end of the crag, halfway down the walk-down and about 25m up R of PF. I wouldn't lead it, as there's about 3m of hard moves to the 2nd bolt during which you're facing a 8-10m grounder. Anyway the bolts themselves look dodgy having been ground or filed on the shaft, and being slightly bent! Nice enough climbing though. In Feb '04 it was heavily scarred, apparently from crampons! Rock climbers have got nothing to answer for compared to this level of permanent damage by ice climbers (presumably).