Forgetful Fishermen

Did I ever tell you about the time Guy and I went fishing at a small stream on the Canadian border? Yes? Well let me tell you again in case you forgot. I know if I were you, I'd need to hear it again.
My wife is always accusing me of forgetting things that she finds important. Like putting gas in the car and writing down the amount of money I withdrew from our checking account. She acts as though it were a big deal or something. Anyway, back to my story about Guy and myself. Several years ago, my pal and I decided that if we went further north, then we would catch more fish. So we planned a little trip. I know what your thinking, the same ole typical trip that leads to ill fortune and mishap, well your right. Why change a good thing? And besides that, most of the stories are 99% true!
Back in the summer of 1991, Guy and myself grabbed a map and started brainstorming. We needed to find some water that was untouched by man and consisted of about a million 18-inch brownies. The two of us decided that if we went north, we should be able to find what we were in search of, a monster, a wall hanging, a fish to beat all fish, a keeper. Guy had a big bright red magic marker in one hand and an even bigger black one in the other. I felt a little over powered, I only had a fine point pen that barely had ink. We were scanning the map like vultures looking for a little supper, then simultaneously, we both stopped and together focused on a stream coming out of Canada and going to a small lake in Maine. Guy jumped about two feet and started circling the stream with his big black marker. He looked like a small child with his first set of Crayons. Circling frantically, until I punched him and forced him to stop by tying a rope around him. Once he calmed down, an hour later, I untied him and we began our planning. We knew this would take up the whole weekend and of course part of Friday. Fortunately for us, our boss was Guys’ dad and Friday wouldn't be much of a hassle. Well, at least we knew he'd get over it.
We started off by making a list of things to bring and what we would need once we got there. Of course, this list only consisted of rods, tackle, money, and a little bit of beer. Guy suggested to bring some food but, we both knew that it would only end up under the seat and smell the truck up for the next month or so. But Guy wanted to bring food anyway, so he agreed to make the tuna fish sandwiches and I would bring the Spam. The normal stops at Mickey D's would usually fill us up and make us not want the sandwiches anyway. But we would bring them time and time again. I guess we'll never learn. Gas may be a little problem, if we couldn't find any gas stations where we were going, so we decided to bottle up some gas in milk jugs. We would have used Guys’ fathers’ gas container but, we put a big hole in it during our last hunting trip. Larry, Guys’ dad, still hasn't gotten over that yet. After 20 minutes of planning, we were ready to go. We told the wives of our plans and they didn't seemed to be really bothered by it. Granted we both had to sleep on the couch that night, we knew they'd get over it.
We were now in the clear and out of the house, when we accidentally bumped into Larry. He asked if we were ready for work. Guy, quickly thinking, said that we were running a little late and that we would meet up with him at the job site. Larry was no fool, he knew we wouldn't be in and started to preach to us about work ethics and how we needed to be more responsible. Larry knew he was getting nowhere and stormed out of the driveway. Guy and I put our rods in the back the truck and Guy asked me how he knew we weren't going to be at work. I just shook my head and said I don't know. Guy ran into the garage and grabbed the tackle boxes and another empty jug that had windshield wash in it. He came back and we hopped into the Scout and were on our way to get gas.
We drove down the road to Jock's convenient Store and grabbed a bunch of Suzie Q's and other healthy foods for the trip. I always get some salted nuts and a couple of Yoo Hoo's. Guy gets his usual Snickers and a Pepsi. Of course, we both get the beer. The lady at Jock's wasn't to pleased with Guy when he whipped out a pocket full of nickels and pennies to pay for all the junk. She'd muttered something under her breath but I only heard the "son of a" part. Guy didn't hear a thing fortunately, he would have cursed her out and whipped out more pennies. Guy left the store and I had some comforting words for the clerk, I told her not to worry. I whipped out a bunch of quarters and said, " This is a lot easier to count than those pennies my idiot friend used." She still didn't seemed pleased.
We hopped in the truck and were off. About a mile down the road and already out of snacks, I asked Guy if he got gas. Two seconds later we were heading back to the gas station. Guy almost took out a farmer when we did a U'ey in his field. Good thing for that Scout, it can go anywhere, just ask that farmer. Guy flew into the parking lot of the store and slammed on the brakes just as we were at the pumps. We got a few looks from people in the store. I told Guy that they must be checking out the Scout. I don't think he heard me because he was already pumping gas when I said it. I jumped out of the truck and went in the store to pay for the gas and pick up some more snacks. The clerk didn't say a word and just rolled her eyes when I said thanks. Now we were all set and getting ready to head North.
Four hours later, we were getting close to the water. I grabbed the map and directed Guy around for about 10 miles when I relaxed, Guy ruined the map with his pen and I couldn't see about 20 miles worth of map. We pulled over and I started the fight. I cursed him out really bad and he just took most of it until he told me to back off and not to worry. This only made me more nervous. He was brain storming and grabbed the map from me. He looked at it with very intensive glares. Looking at where we were and looking at the water, us the water, the water and us again. Some 15 minutes went by and I said, “Come on genius, what are we gonna do?” He looked up from his trance and said, "According to my calculations, 7 miles that way and 2 miles east, and were golden!!!" He looked very scary. Staring out of the truck with a hideous smile. I looked around and asked which way? He pointed out a little trail in the woods and started laughing under his breath. He started to scare me. I told him he was nuts and he just looked at me and hopped out of the Scout. I watched him go around the truck locking the hubs. When he jumped back in, I told him he was gonna get us lost. He laughed and put the Scout in first gear and we were off!
Five miles in, and several small trees later, I noticed something strange about Guy. His eyes. They started to glow as we gained ground towards the water. They glowed red and only got darker as we got closer. I leaned over real quiet like, and softly asked him if he was okay. He didn't reply. I leaned over again, but this time I smacked him in the back of the head and started yelling at him. He quickly snapped out of his trance after the subtle smack. "Where in the hell are we?!!", these were his first words. He caught me off guard with this one. He now had me confused and I didn't like it. "You drove us here. Now, you tell me where?", hesitantly replying to his question. We looked at each other, then outside. We were knees deep in Cedar trees and not a single place to turn around. "Nice going boy genius!!" I started to go off on him when I saw a small glitter coming from within the woods. I closed my eyes and opened them again. You can never tell when your day dreaming ya know. I opened them and sure enough it was water. I flew the door open and ran to the back of the Scout to grab my rod. As I got to the back of the truck, Guy had already beat me there. Caught by surprise, I jumped back and stared at Guy tearing apart the back of the Scout. He was grabbing all his gear and throwing on his waders, he looked like someone had just sprung out the tear gas on him and he was trying to don his chemical suit and mask. I let out a small laugh and decided that I needed to get my stuff too. Guy was hopping on one foot and trying to get the other in his waders, that's when I saw my opportunity. I slowly walked over to Guy and gave him a small little shove. He bounced backwards for about 3 feet, that was about how far that old log he tripped on was. Finally, after about 2 long exhausting minutes, we were both ready to go. Guy started to jog to the water and I followed.
Huffing and a puffing, we arrived to the glitter in the woods. The water had to be about 500 yards from the Scout, but you could still faintly see it. Guy and I stood there. We looked about. We felt like proud explorers discovering an old Mayan temple in the middle of Mexico. As I looked around, I was in awe. The lake was about the size of a football field. It was gorgeous. How could something so beautiful be hidden so well? Not long after I pondered over the thought, Guy got my attention by hopping up and down. Apparently he had to take a leak and had a knot in his waders. I yelled over to him, "Hey! Be quiet over there! Your gonna disturb the fish!" A few cuss words out of Guy and a couple exchanged from me, I decided I'd go help him out. It's the least I could do, after all he found our little hide-away water. "Hey, pudding head, ya need a hand?" Guy looked up and at first I couldn't make out his facial expression, but once I timed his jumps, it was no problem. I walked over, of course taking my time on purpose. Guy started to moan and I thought I even saw a tear. "Got a little problem? Don't worry. I brought my knife." I whipped out the old Buck knife and was about to cut the string around Guys waist, when he quickly jumped back and accused me of trying to cut a hole in his waders. He claimed I'd do something like that so I could catch all the fish. HA!! That's preposterous! Well, maybe. "Listen Guy, just let me help you with the knot so that I can do some fishing!" He agreed and I stepped towards Guy to undo the knot. "WOAAA!" I yelled as I tripped over a log. I started to fall, when I stuck a hand out to have Guy give me a little support. I caught Guy by surprise as he hopped on one foot. We teddered, and toddered for a few seconds, then we fell. Guy and I simultaneously threw our rods to the shore and braced ourselves for a big splash. Guy hit the water kicking, and screaming. I hit the water with my eyes closed and my breath held.
I opened one eye and was pretty surprised. The water here on shore was a whole 3 inches deep! I whacked Guy and pulled at his shirt. "Hey Bonehead! You can stop screaming." We stood up and looked out on to the water. We were curious now. Guy and I started walking in the water, and soon realized why this place was so isolated. The whole damn lake was only 3 inches deep! I looked at Guy, he looked back. We were pretty ticked off. Neither one of us said a word while loading the Scout. The two of us hopped in the truck and Guy drove us out of the thicket. "Hey Guy, Did you ever get a chance to take that leak?" Guy looked at me and then as he looked down to his crotch said "Yeah, I did." I chuckled a little and we drove down the road heading for home. About a mile down the road, the Scout started to buck and sputter. "Hey Guy, did you ever fill those jugs with gas?"

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