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spring 2003>
sunday, august 31st,
2003 ::::: genuine - simply irresistable
it used to always be you who complained that i walked too fast. but
lately you're the one striding foward with so much confidence. why the hurry? i can't keep
up, but you won't wait for me either.
wednesday, august
27th, 2003 ::::: exile, zeebra - let me love her down
mr ha says he's very impressed with my assignments so far this
semester. i'm all tingly.
oh, that's just phone vibrating. heh.
ooooh. ooh. ahhh.
tuesday, august
26th, 2003 ::::: shimano momoe - smoke
have obtained way
sexy new phone. play with me.
friday, august 22nd,
2003 ::::: goo goo dolls - iris
hm? no, no, nothing's wrong. just have this overwhelming urge to sit
in a corner and sulk for a few days.
have a nice weekend, everyone.
monday, august 18th,
2003 ::::: (self pitying)
Binge drinking is not good for those who are sick (which I am), or
so I'm told. A little birdie also told me that tomorrow night is half price night at as
yet unnamed bar, which M may be attending. I'm also told that if you give your cold to
someone else, then you're just as soon get better. Depending on how much --or indeed
little-- I'll resemble shit by the end of a full uni day (both in terms of appearance and
feeling) tomorrow, I fully intend to test all three theories.
wednesday, august
13th, 2003 ::::: m-flo - the rhyme brokers
Dear M,
You're so horrendously, distractingly yummy.
Regards,
A.
monday, august 11th,
2003 ::::: suiken ft bird - senya ghetto
sorely addicted to this song.
sunday, august 10th,
2003 ::::: s-word, hi-d - devil may cry
WANTED
Cheerful individual to cosplay as Hale for Manifest 2004. If you can also do the voice and
wave your arms around and pretend to be in serious danger of noisy mental breakdown, all
the better.I'm serious. other Jungle ppl are great too. Call me if you're interested.
The turn out was pretty good, considering the low key advertising, and there was some
really kick ass cosplay going on. screenings were pretty average tho, not much new
stuff.(read ju-chan and karan for more details, and maybe
regan will have fotos *hint hint*).
Made my DJ Lain costume in under two hours, the night before, and managed to con Ronny
into lending me his massive, and painfully heavy,
shit-they-are-digging-into-my-collar-bone headphones. A Saturday well spent.
Next year, tho I fear many people will be going as Guu (ref madman Jungle release
rumours), I have a few secret weapons up my sleeve intended for Maximum Wow-GUU-ness (eg, Live
Accessories... like Clive-sensei and giant pokute). And I have a whole year to perfect
my craft... har`har`har`har`har`har`
friday, august 8th,
2003 ::::: misia - nemurenai yoru wa kimi no sei
it didn't really click actually... until ellie mentioned it in passing last night,
accompanied by a large contingency of exclamtion marks. she sees everything. why i'm so
tired. why it seems like the days are never long enough, and i propel my way through these
days on caffeine and smiles.
i thought i could do it... two uni courses (to be fair, one's only 3hrs/wk) simultaneously
and still hold down two jobs. i wanted to be those people who can pull off that, and take
care of the laundry after their morning run, and still come home and make honey wine lamb
chops, before whipping up brilliant essays with all the proper referencing, and then going
out for a couple of drinks.
but i can't be That. i'm not strong enough. it used to be that i would just kick back with
a silly book night before an assessment, 'waffle, waffle, wing it,' sipping my jasmine
tea. now... fuck, i don't know, i'm struggling just to do all the reading this semester,
and hand in all the work on time, show up to all my classes. concepts still novel and
exciting. concepts that leave me too tired to play. i'm too tired to run. i'm too tired to
even think of laundry, so i'm also in immediate threat of running out of underwear. and
it's only been barely two weeks into semester. it's like... there's no time to breathe
anymore...
...i don't know how long i can keep holding my breath.
wednesday, august
6th, 2003 ::::: co-key, libro, shimano momoe - my honey
i thought i uploaded this ages ago. but
apparently not. a new DL song (one of the ones that ellie thinks is "scary"), and
some half assed book recommendations, before i got really bored being Not Is Making Sense
Aiyaa.
oh baby, you drive me fucking crazy
tuesday, august 5th,
2003 ::::: innosense - doncha?
manifest is this weekend.
and though regan was kind enough to
obtain a pre-reg form for me three months ago, i just never got around to it. i really,
really, really want to cosplay as Guu, (with the bear skin, coz it would be cold, and it
would camouflage stick out ass, and draw attention away from cleavage challenged boobtube
etc.), and laugh "ha-ha-ha-ha-ha *frown face* shalanla *hold up fork*". but I
can't conceivably finish such a big costume by Saturday =S. So maybe I'll turn up as
something lame and stupid. ... like a fangirl maybe... i haven't had a chance to wear
those big chunky shoes for a while... *cringe cringe*
monday, august 4th,
2003 ::::: (ref below)
There's a bunch of cats holding some sort of late night rendevous in
the backyard, towards the back fence, but not far enough such that I can still here them
meow meow meow. I tried to shoo them away before, but by the time i mangaged to get even
the screen door open, they'd all scattered. Then I did some bad impressions of Angry
Territorial Kitty From Hell, but by the time I sat back down, here, they'd regrouped and
started up again. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to let domestic cats out after dark in OZ,
in case they go around mangling and feasting on native wildlife. Judging by the amount of
simultaneous meowing going on, it's gotta be either a new pop group sensation or a group
orgy. meooooow. meeeow! meow. meow meow meow.
if there's cat shit on my lawn tomorrow morning...
sunday, august 3rd,
2003 ::::: smash mouth - walking on the sun
apparently i had been accepted into the rmit ethnic school teachers
training program (phase one), but no one had bothered to inform me. So I've missed two
weeks already, and there's a paper due in this wednesday, about whatever it was that they
did last week. ha.
worse though, it's on at five, which means it will be a very big stretch to make it from
work on time. i'll try to reschedule, but the last few weeks, how shall i say... hmm... my
boss hasn't exactly proved to be the sympathetic kind. so therein lies the question of
money or qualifications.
but wait... there's more (horror of horrors), it's also on the same time as mummy's child
psych thingey (of which exposure to teenagers is making her More Weird Than Usual), so
she'll be like, oh, say, two buildings away, and then she'll probably nag me the whole
(same) train ride home.
oh, what bundles of fun we shall have!
friday, august 1st,
2003 ::::: linkin park - a place for my head
iced mini doughnuts are very sexy.
thursday, july 31st,
2003 ::::: sugar ray - mr bartender (it's so easy)
9-11 jap tute rescheduled for 12-2. annie makes it to uni at 9:07,
on four hours sleep, and throws six hour hissy fit, scaring a minor succession of ex MHS
boys (damn things are everywhere).
timetable is now completely, hopelessly fukked up. if situation will resolve itself (fat
chance) will send j00z nu copy in spankin colours mid next week ish.
mini doughnuts are sexy.
tuesday, july 29th,
2003 ::::: evanescense - my immortal
macrob re.u.ni.on
an..o.ni.on
a..bu.ni.on
new key words for a new semester: sober, sane, studious. Otherwise known as
booze-less, boy-less, book-ful.
two out of three would suit me fine.
anatomy museum... hmm... formalin encased bits of brain and dissected 32 wk feotus...
right after lunch... hmm.
ugh. making up words and non grammatical structures... gosh, i must be having a low IQ
day. and i've missed one class already. oh, wot a luff.
sunday, july 27th,
2003 ::::: lil ai - it's so...
I've just had the pleasure of meeting one of The most obnoxious kids
ever. Since the regular art teacher is on holidays in Europe (O_o), I've been taking the
3.00 - 4.15 art class for the last two weeks now. And this kid, might we anagram him as
Ynad, has today shown such an impossibly whole disregard for any of his fellow classmates
and social order in general.... ARGH! I can't find the words to describe it. Arrogant,
obnoxious, foul mouthed enough to even raise potty mouth annie's eyebrows. I've never
wanted to belt anyone so badly. At the end of class I mustered as much self control as I
could to inquire whether his parents would be picking him up after class, as I would
really like to have a word with them. I've also never seen anyone run out of a class so
fast at the last bell. He's just another reason why having children seems on the whole too
riske a business. The thing that bothers me most though, not the language, not the part
time bullying, or the unproportional belligerence, is that he's actually an amazingly
brilliant artist.
thursday, july 20th,
2003 ::::: misia ft muro - tustsukomu you ni (dj waratai rmx)
On this day, last year, Annie pondered penned in moss green ink,
this one line in her diary... "Sighing. Does that consume more oxygen? Is it a
waste of oxygen. Maybe the reason for people who are depressed and people who are high on
love is because they sigh too much, therefore depleting supplies to their brain, and
viola."
It's been raining the last couple of days. Deliciously cold winter rain. And the night
that it started, I didn't want to sleep at all. So I dredged up some old rock albums, and
angst fested all night. Foo Fighers, Sting, Guns & Roses, NIN... souvenirs from a very
angry twelve year old Annie.
Today, the rain continued, and at eleven, give or take, met up with Ami, Ellie, Nids and D
for some lunch and the comfortable conversation that I've missed so much in the last few
months. Is everyone happy? Are you? Am I? dunno. Just me... I thought I was, until today.
On the way to Cloris' house warming party (which didn't start getting warm until someone
found the hearter, and disturbing amounts of anchovy pizza was consumed by yours truly,
until CoCo Lee came on, and that's more or less my daily limit for canto pop), desert
melting on the too warm train, it occured to me that I'm lonely. Every day, at uni, I keep
myself busy with so much smiling and waving that I seem to have failed to notice that
beyond those hugs, silly phone calls and general polite conversation I've not formed any
of the relationships that last four years of high school has bestowed on me. (aside: I
love you guys. Thankyou for always being there for me. I don't say it nearly enough.)
I'm not happy. I'm comfortable, but that's all I can be. Happy? there are the moments,
fleeting, and beautiful in its arbitriness. Because if I were happy all the time, I
theorise, maybe it'll be like everything else, and I'll become accustomed to it, and I
won't know how lucky I am. but then, im comparison to this shallow comfort, it's hard too,
to be brave enough to acknoledge anything but.
I'm so scared of getting close to people. Some days, it almost feels as though I can't do
anything except hurt people. Whether it's other people or myself.
When it's dark out, you can't see the rain drops on the train windows. But when you go
past a street light, or any sort of light, the windows light up a pale gold, or a soft
silver, and the rain drops appear in passing, for a brief moment, glowing.
"Do you believe in miracles?"
"Not today."
sunday, july 20th,
2003 ::::: tyler - 24.7 (kreva rmx)
Bargain!!
Give us the opportunity to deprive you of your sanity and faith in humankind for six hours
and we'll give you $$$! Limited time only, receive a free pack of throat lozenges, cause
gawd knows you'll need them!!
The funny thing is that I actually fell for it. But even funnier, is that I'll probably
fall for it next week as well. And the week after that. I'm only working 2.5 jobs just so
I can support my addictions (books, fooding, drinking, clubbing), though it's actually
quite amazing, and ironic, how much less tempting an evening getting drunk with and
rubbing up against Hot Azn Boys sounds after one has been through such a day as today.
fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.
gonna pig out a bit, bond with vodka and go sleep. probably be real damn sorry tomorrow,
but i'm too wacked rite now to care.
saturday, july 19th,
2003 ::::: double - u ~kreva rmx~
*drool*
Want! want! want!
thursday, july 17th,
2003 ::::: kazami ft sphere of influence - rizumu
little get together with Ami, Ellie and Ramya with lots of Emporio
goodies and just as many silly anecdotes to share. Ami has cut her beautiful hair and
looks amazing. And sometimes, I worry about Ramya and her hot, grey eyed lab partner on
Thursday afternoons, burning this and exploding that. We also managed to enjoy Amelie, which is quite possibly
one of the best films I've seen this year, right up there with After
Hours and Il
Mare.
wednesday, july
16th, 2003 ::::: soul'd out - shout out
floey is in town. hi!^^
and incidentally, ramya honey, you owe me blood money.
you see? you see? this is exactly what i'm talking about. just because i'm not much of a
talker, don't go around putting words into my mouth. don't presume to know what i'm
thinking, because inevitably, as in this case, you turn out to be Wrong. I will reinterate
just once more, for those who are a little slow in comprehension and too damn eager to
jump to conclusions: not everything is about you. there's shit going on that you
don't even know about, and you probably don't care, because you're too damn busy being
petty and "analytical". if little bits and pieces of me have served to
contribute to some great big fucking stupid illusion, i do sincerely apologise, great big
illusions having never been on my agenda in any way, shape or form.
furthermore, I do not at all appreciate your little rant on the female gender as a whole.
just because yours truly is a fucked up specimen, do not go around lumping 'females' as
generically 'like that'. if you wish to insult me, please, feel free to do so directly.
tuesday, july 15th,
2003 ::::: suiken ft bird - senya ghetto
why we are the ones continually doing the passive retreating is
beyond me. but anything that keeps me from a direct physical confrontation is relief in
itself.
i know there are other explanations, but their existential possibilities aren't what
bothers me. i have trouble, or rather it's impossible for me to think outside of my own
wills and interests, outside the frame of my (in)experience, of patterned beliefs and
values. Whether it's... whether it makes any sense at all to permanently delude myself in
thinking that i have the freedom to chose, to think that the ties could have been broken
easily, but i stayed chained only because i want to. but then there's all the fun of
asking myself why the fuck i would 'want to', when every instinct seems to be merely a
different shade of the same colour.
there's the constnt paranoia, alternating with anger and strange cottony feelings that
don't seem to be able to fit in anywhere. i wish i could remember more of the good times.
to justify why we might have subjected ourselves to stay so long. but try as i might, i
can't get away from the things that hurt so much then, things that still leave a dull
aching now, disgustingly comfortable in its familiarity, sharp stabs on occassion, things
that wake me in the middle of the night, as tonight, and i don't know for what exactly i'm
crying. those are the days when relief doesn't seem to be enough.
one day, afterwards, i will stand out in the rain and watch all of it.
monday, july 14th,
2003 ::::: dj crush ft aco + twigy - tragicomic
i wash and scrub, and the eyeliner just won't come off. so it with
this ghastly Look that I'm finishing off the Maggie
Alderson that I stole from Marta while she was still sleeping (because it mentions
dick five times in the first two pages, and I like books like that :D). i hope her first
night out as a Legal wasn't a complete bust. we went to 'loft', where there are so many
macrobs as to be almost a 'reunion', braving the wind sharper than a gin straight up, at
ben's man-baiting insistence (tick em off, andrew, jack, ben, zic, justin, daniel =D yum
yum). Though I had previously heard of a rather fetching drink
that's served there, but by 2am i had polished off a few too many to be even dancing in
time O_o, and figured that the magic potion maybe, just maybe, should wait until next
time. (when that might be, i have nfi, since i don't know when i'm next getting paid, and
have in a happily hung over state spent my last fifteen at whitehouse, seven in the
morning, shooting the crap out of things tee hee hee). cheers.
NB'whitehouse' is a gaming centre in the melbourne cbd where hot lil azn boys hang
out. it's actually v embarrassing dat i still visit even tho i'm in uni now. and all the
2nd hand smoke can't be good for anyone. please don't misunderstand.
sunday, july 13th,
2003 ::::: aki-la ft snoop dogg - freak da club
i have seventeen dictionaries and nothing to wear tonight.
friday, july 11th,
2003 ::::: santana ft macy gray - amore (sexo)
finished putting together my stupid new furniture. most of my nails
are busted. and the red lights are a constant reminder as to my finacial situation.
semester one results out. i wish i could get a lil more excited, because they are rather
lovely. but eh.
marta's 18th birthday (ie, another Drinking Buddy for me :D) party w/ pepper happy burgers and pretty chics. marta
forgot her ID on her bday hah hah... she's such a honey =D
wednesday, july 9th,
2003 ::::: suiken ft shakkazombie - five live
so desperately need to find a better holiday job. new boss is a
stupid biasch, and she has really weirdly plucked eyebrows that make her look angry and
surprised at the same time. unless it's just a look reserved for looking at me. dunno.
monday, july 7th,
2003 ::::: jc chasez - blowing me up (with her love)
ikea.sale. if i thought
finances were looking a little red before, it's now reading something like condition:
critical, with bright red blood splurting. hur hur.
friday, july 4th,
2003 ::::: busta rhymes, flipmode, mariah - what you want
i'm in shitloads of trouble for coming home drunk and disorderly. i
protested, but it doesn't look promising.
there are only so many times a short joke can be made before i start whipping drunken
asses. point to remember, annie will execute triple kick combos if you just push the right
buttons. and if people (namely mark, but the other two to a certain extent too) don't
learn from Looks, let the bruises help you to act as mnemonic devices. rough run down:
charletons (rip off), embassy (half price thursday, macrob chic sighting), elephant
(private party or something), la la bar (pretty lights, but still not worth the walk),
crown (why?? why?). is it somehow unavoidable to spend just one day away from the damn
casino?
oh yeah, and charlie's angels (no, i haven't hit my head to hard =p) is pretty cute. your
money's worth of snickering.
monday, june 30th,
2003 ::::: kelly rowland - make you want to stay
"touch my ass again and i'll fucking break yours." ...but
he wasn't very good at lip reading.
still, it was pretty
fun for most if not all.
true story, btw
sunday, june 29th,
2003 ::::: wyolica + steady and co - only holy story
mm... just airing out my belly button.
wednesday, june
25th, 2003 ::::: santana ft alejandro lerner - hoy es adios
cold wateh is farking cold, yeh?
tuesday, june 24th,
2003 ::::: steady & co. - stay gold
A rather exiciting day wasn't it, Annie? Oh yes, very much so. What
with the hot water cylinder exploding first thing in the morning and flooding the laundry,
failing dodgy exams, and ohh shmell meh, i'm so yummeh, like beef jerky but more exotic.
George was not kidding when he said we'd all need a shower and a good wash afterwards, and
the hot water isn't coming till tomorrow, which is just dandy, really.
sunday, june 22nd,
2003 ::::: exile - breezin' together
Reacation stages of a nine year old bystander upon witnessing annie
getting deficated on by a bird:
1) You said a bad word!
2) hahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahaha. haha.
3) (opt) ewwwwwwwwww
There may have been some sympathy involved in there somewhere, but since the general
practice is to record only external, directly observable data, I can't say that I saw any
evidence of it.
A lot of studying went on at the study group yesterday. Heaps. Tons. Tremendously and
stupefyingly impressive amounts. [/sarcasm]
And dorm food is soooo good. Man, Nick really has it easy. If I had the dough, and didn't
enjoying cooking for myself so much, I would so move in. =D
thursday, june 19th,
2003 ::::: wyolica ft suiken - one love ninety nine ~ kanashiiwagamama
A friend of mine once told me about this guy, (probably a philosophy
student, heh) who one day went down to the hq of some charity organisation and dropped off
$200 (philosophy student with money?). But as he was on his way home, he started to
question his own motives for doing so. Was it really because he truly wanted to help
starving children (or it could have been endagered animals or political prisoners)? Was he
doing it out of pure compassion? Or just as some sort of warped ego booster, or to
alleviate his own misplaced guilt? So then he went back to the office, explained his
reasons and asked for his money back. I can't remember if they gave it back to him, but
this question of intent/motive behind the actions that we chose to take has always
fascinated me... [cont.]
monday, june 16th,
2003 ::::: m-flo+crystal kay - m-flo loves crystal kay REEEWIND!
No sleep day 2: i, one! toof free for. Strip me like you would a
packet of instant noodles.
only two more exams to go. ahh~
friday, june 13th,
2003 ::::: macy gray - gimme all your lovin' or i will kill you
exam? wot exam? ha: ha: f/\kIn ha:.
wednesday, june
11th, 2003 ::::: gospellers - yume no soto
the blonde nurse on the new ashley and martin commercial looks
suspiciously like that girl on one of the late night call me, call me now and play with my
lacy G 1900 number ads.
but i digress... heh.
Happy birthday for tomorrow, to my buddy
ellie-chan, who's special day, every year, manages to fall during exam season. Happy
18th, girl! Best of luck!
monday, june 9th,
2003 ::::: ludacris - what's your fantasy
STATUS CHECK : linguistics exam : pg 107 of 673
at this rate, will be ready for exam no problems, if only exam was some time in september,
and not this friday. alas.
STATUS CHECK : linguistics essay : origins of language
hey, at least i've more/less finished scavenging sources. even though mostly coz it's
either this or study for exam, and i can only pass one.
STATUS CHECK : chinese oral : defining topic
how much should people touch each other? O_o strange topic for a debate. i no understand.
and will have to deal with this in time. cram now, touch later.
friday, june 6th,
2003 ::::: lazybatsu - 8am
Futurama: When you see the robot, drink"
annie runs off to get her smirnoff. the next half hour is spent with much cheering for
bender, and consequently friday morning is spent being hung over in most unattractive way
in library. heh. woo~ go bender~ yeah~!
wednesday, june 4th,
2003 ::::: case + foxy brown - touch me, tease me
Ambitious, I am not. I would happily settle for being able to pull
off just one convincing Guu face.
tuesday, june 3rd,
2003 ::::: kaana ft twigy - funky heart break
sometimes i leave the tv on just for a bit of background noise. and
maybe a bit for the confirmation of every cynical theory that i hold, when news updates
come on periodically, to hear about all the stupid, nasty things poeple do to each other.
i do stupid and nasty things to people all the time, hurting even people that i love very
much. i dunno... no, when i say i don't know, i probably do know... maybe it's because i
know i'll be forgiven for all the things that don't really mean to say. still, being
forgiven, and being unintentioned, doesn't make what i do wrong... right. if
anything, it should bring me some more assemblance of shame, but mostly i'm too selfish
for even that.
even if i don't know you, today i'm going to apologise in advance. sorry. and to all those
who i do know, i'm very sorry.
monday, june 2nd,
2003 ::::: mel b ft missy elliot - i want you back
Oh look. It's winter. This is one of my favourite layouts to date, but presently
functioning on three hours of sleep due to fkn media essay *insert bitter laughter*,
excuse me while i neglect to put a little more whoo~ into it. Pretty much all the sections
are up, except for omake, because i have nothing to put there presently (suggestions?). So please humour me and work
your mouse a little. I've finally gotten around to putting in a sketchbook,
which will be forgotten after a couple of weeks, like everything else.
It's SWOTVAC and the lanky azn boys who haven't been to class all semester have come out
of hibernation and taken up permanent residency on the third floor of Bailieu. Ooh ahh.
sunday, june 1st,
2003 ::::: beyonce ft jay z - crazy in love
Nothing important happened today.
Yet more
irrelevant fodder...
 |
