Please Hear What I Am Not Saying

I tell you everything that's really nothing. And nothing of what's

everything, of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

 

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like

to be able to say, what for survival, I need to say, but what I can't say.

 

I dislike hiding. Honestly, I dislike the superficial, phony game. I'd

really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to

want, or need.

 

Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead.

Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind, and gentle, and

encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my

heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings.

 

With your sensitivity and sympathy, your power of understanding, you can

breathe life into me. I want you to know how important you are to me, how

you can be a creator of the person that is me if you choose to.

Please choose to.

You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can

remove my mask. You alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and

uncertainty, from my lonely prison.

 

So do not pass me by. Please do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you

approach to me, the blinder I may strike back. It's irrational, but despite

what the books say about man, I am irrational.

I fight against the very thing that I cry out for. But I'm told that love is

stronger than strong walls, and in this lies my hope.

My only hope.

 

Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle

hands-for [the] child [that is me] is very sensitive.

- Author Unknown

Domestic Abuse Survivors Discussion Group on MSN Communities

http://communities.msn.com/DOMESTICABUSESURVIVORS/domesticabusesurvivors

homepage.msnw