you may find this hard to believe, but i've been called a wise ass before... i've come to consider it a badge... a medal of honor if you will... then again i also think that when i found a half eaten twinkie in the fridge, that that was a special moment too... to keep up with the times this page has fun stuff.... jokes... games.... (coming soon)e-cards... (coming soon)a gift shop... a roller coaster... freak show... the annual blueberry pie eating contest (last year's winner was a little mexican boy who needed the prize money of $25 to free his father from a turkish prison... actually it wasn't a turkish prison so much as it was my basement... but he didn't know any better... he didn't speak english)... so enjoy...

• games- i feel that this is pretty self explanitory... they are games damn it... helloooooooo....
• jokes- do i have to explain this one to ya too? are your mom and dad cousins?
• The Voices- the ultimate in reality programming... online... what can be more real than the voices? i think they are going to kill me now... you people know too much as it is...
• e-cards (coming soon)- send a special message to someone you love... let them know i'm a lunatic... let them realize their life is in just as much trouble as mine... let them see if i'm really the father of their baby...
• gift shop (coming soon)- what better way to show you are cool than by wearing a t-shirt or keeping your can of pabst blue ribbon cold with a can huggy from my personal line of novelties...

online contests (coming soon)- need the respect of your peers? or even your own family? try winning one of the many contests* that will appear here... *no particular skill or real brain power is needed to win. contest void in puerto rico and utah (damn mormons)...