There was a long silence. The scroll had stopped emitting light and was now flying near the ceiling. Everyone could discern a smiling face on the scroll.
"Ch... cheerio?" gasped Shikamaru, completely dumbfounded just like everyone else. The scroll developed a huge, annoying grin.
"That's right! I was greeting you! And you're not going to answer me? How rude! After all, I was sealed for a loooong time, and I'm finally back! Whee-hee!"
"A talking scroll?!" Ino screamed. "How can that be..? A talking forbidden scroll?!"
"That's right, me!" rejoiced the scroll, circling restlessly in the air. "My name is Nils Börje, but you can call me Nils or Nils-chan - hey, Nils-sama would sound great!"
"Mwahahahaaaaa!" laughed Naruto out loud. "Hahahaha! I can't believe this! What kind of a scroll has a stupid name like that? Ah - hah - huahahahhahhaaaaaaa!"
The scroll, Nils, let out a small 'hmph', frowning at Naruto.
"Oh? And what, may I ask, is your name, little boy?"
"I am Uzumaki Naruto, better to remember that!" yelled Naruto and continued his maniacal laughter. Nils smiled slyly.
"Oh, I sure will..." he giggled. "Suddenly Naruto was wearing a Marimekko dress!"
"Oh, damn, that's funny! I've dressed a lot of guys like that, but you look stunning! Simply ingenious! I'm a genius scroll! I'm the best! Oh, yeah, I love this!" it kept screaming. Sakura reached out carefully and pulled the hem of Naruto's dress a couple of times to ensure that it really was on him. Finally, Naruto regained his voice.
"What did you do to me, you damned thing?!" he shouted, shocked. Nils didn't answer him, but chuckled:
"Tee hee, this is great. Let's do some more. Hey, you there! You, boy, what's your name?"
The question was addressed to Shikamaru. He hesitated and mumbled for a while and finally stuttered:
"Nara Shikamaru."
"Nice hairdo", Nils said. "Suddenly Shikamaru became a ballerina!"
Just as quickly as Naruto's laughter had died, Shikamaru's clothing changed into a bright pink tutu and he was dancing around the corridor, his face reflecting ultimate shock. He made a couple of pirouettes and jumps, shrieking loud all the time:
"Wh - what the hell is this?! I'm not doing this, something's making me do it! Help me!"
"How cute", Nils hummed. "We can end the show with splits!"
Shikamaru let out one silent 'oomph' as his legs spread into splits. His body let out a huge 'crack'. Ino and Chouji gasped of horror and everyone else just stared, not knowing how to react. After a short silence Shikamaru let everyone know how much he was hurting by screaming very loud.
"Don't worry, he'll live", comforted Nils from the ceiling, sounding extremely amused. "Now, let's continue! I've been sealed for too long to stop yet! Who's next?"
"That scroll is insane! Somebody stop it!" Ino cried as she ran with Chouji to help Shikamaru. The poor boy was still whining and ashamed of his clothing. Sasuke stepped forward, with a stern look on his face.
"I'll seal it", he said, preparing himself.
"Oh no, you won't", Nils exclaimed. "A brat like you won't be able to seal me! Last time it was the 4th Hokage!"
"Don't listen to it, Sasuke-kun!" yelled Ino. "Just get rid of it!"
"Hmm, Sasuke?" Nils chuckled. "Suddenly Sasuke was standing on his hands!"
The next moment Sasuke was facing ground, unable to make any seals with his hands. After another moment he tried to make it back to the normal position, but he couldn't get his hands off the ground. And after yet another moment he noticed that during the feverish shaking he had done to turn around his shirt had begun to trickle towards the floor, revealing his stomach and part of his chest.
"Oh, shit", he thought. The girls hid their faces in their hands to save poor Sasuke from total shame. Nils was very pleased by the sight.
"I'm so great", he giggled, slithering around in the air. "Now Sasuke says 'You're wonderful, Nils-sama'!"
"You're wonderful, Nils-sama", escaped from Sasuke's lips. "Aaargh! How can he make us do things like that?!"
"Well, it's the truth. I'm wonderful", Nils laughed, looking for the next victim. Sakura came to Sasuke's help; she pulled his shirt back up and tried to turn him around, but Sasuke was stuck.
"You know, this'd be really funny unless it wasn't", said Naruto illogically. He was still wearing the dress, which just wouldn't come off.
"What do you mean it isn't funny?" Nils asked. "It's damn funny! I love it! Well, now, what's your name?"
Neji, who the question was addressed to, hastily answered:
"I won't tell you!"
"Oh really?" Nils pondered. "Suddenly Naruto told me that boy's name!"
"Hyuuga Neji", Naruto said. "Uwaah! I told it! I'm sorry! I really am!"
"You - you", accused Neji, but couldn't come up with anything before Nils yelled out:
"Suddenly Neji was floating in the air!"
And he was. Neji found himself upside down in the air. He tried to swim back to the ground, but was somehow pulled back up to the ceiling every time he tried to reach Lee and Tenten's hands.
"Put me down", he growled to the scroll. "Or else I'll attack you."
"Grab it, Neji!" Tenten spurred him. But Nils was prepared.
"Suddenly Neji was afraid of heights!" it shouted. Neji's eyes widened when he saw the ground and everyone else looking at him there.
"Oh God, this is high up!" he squealed, covering his face with his hands. "Put me down! Put me down! Please, put me down!"
"No I won't", giggled Nils happily. Its smile widened as it started to swarm around Neji. The poor ninja tried to get a hold of it, but it kept absconding from his hands, laughing gleefully.
Kiba couldn't help letting out a few chuckles, but Hinata was upset: she stepped forward as well and raised her voice:
"Please, Nils-san, let my cousin down, he's scared!"
Nils looked at her, curious.
"He's your cousin? I can see the resemblance", it hummed. "Then, your name is Hyuuga...?"
"Don't you dare to do anything to H - her, you stupid toilet paper roll, or I'll catch you and use you as one!" Naruto threatened, pulling the sleeves of his dress up to make sure that Nils got what he meant. The scroll wasn't pleased; it frowned and looked down at Naruto.
"Suddenly Naruto was tap-dancing!" it yelled as a punishment, and Neji's quiet whines were quickly forgotten when everyone were staring at the dancing Naruto.
"Damn it!" Naruto growled. Nils was now scanning the crowd, apparently it had forgotten about Hinata.
"Hey, the guy in the teddy costume!" it whooped at the Sand team. Kankurou frowned, looking a little amused.
"Me?" he asked. Temari laughed out loud, saying:
"You've just been playing around with these little no-good ninjas, but we are a different matter! Prepare yourself, scroll!"
"I am the almighty Nils Börje and can't be defeated by anyone", Nils boasted. "Suddenly Naruto told me the names of those guys over there."
"Gaara, Kankurou and Temari", Naruto said. "Wow, I didn't even know all three..."
"Haa!" Nils yelled out. "Now, let's find out who is who... Suddenly Kankurou sneezed!"
Kankurou sneezed loudly. Temari tried to drown the noise by clearing her throat and telling Nils:
"That's not gonna work on us!"
"I doubt that", Nils smiled. Temari pulled out her fan and prepared to attack.
"Say your prayers!" she yelled and jumped towards Nils. But the scroll was quicker.
"Suddenly Neji blundered into the girl with the large fan!"
Very quickly, the still whining Neji dove through the air straight at Temari. They both shrieked and Temari fell onto the floor.
"Temari!" Kankurou called, but hurried to shut his mouth. Too late.
"So you're Temari, eh?" Nils chuckled. "Hmm, suddenly Temari's fan turned into a huge fly!"
"Wuaaaaah!!" Temari screamed and threw the fly from her hands to the wall. It flew up to the ceiling and begun to circle around Neji, who desperately tried to shoo it away.
"Take it away from me! Take it away, it's huge! Somebody help me down!"
Hinata couldn't take the boy's humiliating anymore and covered her eyes.
"Mwahahaha! This is great!" Nils roared with laughter. "Hehehe... so you must be Gaara, over there, right?"
Gaara didn't say anything, just glanced at the scroll coldly. Kankurou and Temari ran over to him.
"Don't you dare to do anything to him!" Temari snarled. It didn't stop Nils, who now declared:
"Suddenly Gaara was skipping rope!"
"Where did that rope come from?" wondered Sakura as she stared at the rope-skipping Gaara. She was still holding up Sasuke's shirt, while the boy was still standing on his hands, while Naruto was still tap-dancing in the Marimekko dress. Gaara's expression didn't change, he just kept glaring at Nils, who just kept laughing. Temari grabbed Gaara's hand to stop him, but was sent flying against the wall.
"You look just fine", chuckled Nils. "What would I do next...?"
"We need help", Sakura whispered to Ino, who was closest to her. "This scroll can't be stopped by us genins alone! Somebody has to get the teachers!"
Ino nodded, passing the message on to Shikamaru [who was still recovering] and Chouji, who passed the message on again. Finally it reached Lee's ear.
"I'll do it!" he said, determined. "I'm fast! Wish me luck!"
"Good luck", said Tenten, when Lee dashed towards the door. Nils watched him go, then carefully asked:
"Hmm, what is that egghead boy called?"
"Lee's not an egghead!" Tenten screamed, then quickly shut up. "Oh no!"
"Suddenly Lee was running in place!"
Rock Lee was horrified to notice that he wasn't moving an inch no matter how fast he was running. He hadn't heard Tenten's revelation, but he still figured out quickly what had happened.
"Tenten, you idiot", muttered the still floating Neji, who tried to keep looking at the ceiling to avoid panic. Unfortunately Nils heard him.
"Now Lee walks backwards here back to us... and then... Tenten plays horse polo and Temari is her horse!"
"What!?" shouted both of the girls before Temari felt Tenten's weight on her back and Tenten found a stick from her hand. Without knowing it, she begun to chase a small ball on the floor, Temari running on all fours after it. And all the time they both yelled for help.
"Hahahahahaa, this is going to kill me! I'm a genius!" Nils cackled. But then it [and all the others that weren't shrieking] heard voices from outside:
"What's going on here?"
"Oh my poor nose..."
"What was it? What the hell was it?"
"What are those noises?"
"What a divine view it was..."
"Someone's here! Come on!"
Sakura gasped and let go of Sasuke's shirt, which fell off completely ["Shit!"].
"It's the guards", Sakura sighed.
"We're saved!" Chouji cheered.
"You think so?" Nils asked and its tone of voice didn't promise anything good. "Suddenly everyone in this corridor teleported to the Gob desert!"
By the time the guards reached the place, everyone were gone. The only thing in the corridor was an empty box.