What did one zombie say to another?
"Get a life."


A man joined a big company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me some coffee, quick!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the managing director of the company, you fool!" The man shouted back,
"And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No," replied the director.
"Phew," said the trainee as he laughed and hung up.


Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"


One day a duck went to the supermarket. He went up and down the isles. Then he walked up to the store manager and said, "Got any Duck food?" The manager replied, "No, we only have people food here." The duck left.
The next day the duck went back to the supermarket. He went up and down the isles. He walked up to the manager and said, "Got any duck food?" He replied, "No! We only sell people food here and if you ask me again I will nail your feet to the ground!" The duck left.
The duck returned to the supermarket the next day. He walked up and down the isles. He walked up to the manager and asked, "Got any nails?" He replied, "No." Then the duck asked, "Got any duck food?"








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