CNC ELECTION RESULT

CNC's election result mirrored the national picture exactly. Here are the candidates reactions:

Kevin C. Quigley (Labour, 418 votes) "I'm delighted to win this election. My priorities are education, education & education. I was elected as New Kevin and I will govern as New Kevin."

Tom F. Cahill (Conservative, 165 votes) "When the whistle blows it is time to get off the football pitch, and that is what I propose to do. I'll find a job as a John Major lookalike or something."

Mr Stuart Reese (Lib Dem, 46 votes) "I was disappointed not to win but I was pleased with the Lib Dem's national success. I'll now either work as a translator in Brussels or go back to Longridge and work there. Paddy is going to teach me Mandarin Chinese - it's about the only language I don't know. Never mind, c'est la vie!"

Sr. Katherine Frost FCJ (Green, 0 votes) "I would have been too busy to be an MP anyway. I've got to keep updating my noticeboard and recycling cans. I'm off now to organise a disco at Tokyo Jo's. Isn't that lovely?"

Mrs. C. G. Kivell (Referendum, 0 votes) "I don't think that no votes is a derisory total, or that Sir James should 'get off back to Mexico'. I want Britain OUT! OUT! OUT! of Europe."

Mrs G. Pacey (Ind. - Anti Sleaze, 1 vote) "This vote is a clear signal that the public wants a sleaze-free LLRC. As G. K. Chesterton once said, 'make sure you sign-up before using the computers, and get your books back on time.'"

Mr. A. J. Finnerty (Natural Law, 0 votes) "As with coffee, so with politics. I will yogic fly back to Lancaster and meditate on the result there. I wish Kevin luck - for the election he needed knowledge. For government he will need wisdom. Gouranga!"