Wandom Web Wamblings 980114

Far From Ithaca,
Odysseus Finds an Inn

and Searches
For Public Net Access

Brave Odysseus, his ears still soft from the ambient sounds of the New Age music wafting to him from NetRadio, sailed south along the eastern shore of Vespucciland, the sun growing stronger and the air warmer and more fragrant as he reached the sun-drenched, palm-lined shores of the Land of Sun Worshippers and ordered his men to put into a harbor at what was called by the natives, from the style of the roofs of their haciendae as "the Gables of Coral."

Moving via local jitney to his inn, the noble safe harbor Omni Collonade, Odysseus washed off the dust of his long journey and set forth into the marketplace to find Public Internet Access. Odysseus consulted the local vendor of gourmet coffees, infusions and foods, Starbucks whom Odysseus had read in market scrolls had consulted The Great Grove of Intel, to establish "cybercafes" and vend high-speed Net with its noble and fragrant refreshments.

Sacrificing His Cafe' Mocha Grande,

Long-Suffering Odysseus Finds Crude, Slow Access

At the Public Library

The hard-working woman in that shop, however, professed ignorance of any such facility in the entire market area of The Gables of Coral. Moving on, heartsick at the thought of no frothy and rich Cafe' Mocha Grande with his Web access, Odysseus trudged through the fragrant streets, basking in the warm sun and breathing the soft moist air. He looked upon an ancient cut-coral edifice bearing the runish legend "City Hall," wherein he inquired of a servant for the location of a Public Library.

Gaining directions, he lengthened his stride, passing modest homes and athletic fields where elders in small hats and short pants exercised with balls and odd clubs of hollow metal, and both found and entered the library, also of cut-coral stone, and inside cool, open and high-ceilinged. Indeed, his search and long walk were rewarded, as several portals there lay to public hand for the access to the Net.

Yet said portals were sorely crippled, not only through the affirmative action of the Vestal that guarded the portals in disabling the direct URL addressing capability (perhaps against the prospect of callow youths pursuing fleshy passions) but also through painfully poor channels for the receipt of the desired information.

Undaunted by these minor obstacles, Odysseus applied the clever cunning that won him the throne of King of Ithaca to defeat the Vestals' blocking tools and to access his goal of the modest web site of Trumbull Services, L.L.C., only activated after his pre-dawn launch towards the Gables of Coral. He found the page, and saw that it was good.

Returning by another way, Odysseus was momentarily distracted by the lure of the Ponce de Leon Gallery, which boldly exhibited lush images of the human frame in heroic scale and a gymnastic state of attire. The gallery was closed. Wistfully, appreciative Odysseus noted the artist's name and style (Malena's Body Language) for later visitations.

Odysseus Achieves His Goal

at Kinko's

Returning towards his inn, Odysseus' eyes were caught by the bright and eternal beacon of KINKO'S, well known to all that labor on the Net as a haven for magical tools. Entering the bright arena, glad Odysseus assayed arrays of magical devices for all forms of communication and artistic expression, all surrounded by free coffee, free local dial tone access, clean rest rooms and cheerful workers. He immediately perceived, arrayed in proud view, a stable of ten glowing, beckoning steeds equipped to convey him to the Wine Dark Web, of the both the Windows 95 and MacIntosh breed.

"How much to ride these steeds for a brief time?" glad-hearted Odysseus asked the hard-working freeman behind the counter.

Our glad wanderer was advised that a mere $12 per hour of use, chargeable to his Royal Bank of Ithaca cyber-card, would obtain him full access to all the charms and powers of his choice of the steeds, each accessing the Net with the powers of "ISDN," girded only by SurfWatch (lest he shame their shop with indelicate wanderings).

"Indeed," cried out Oddysseus joyfully, "this is my goal today."

Gathering about him his notes and records, Odysseus focused upon his thoughts and composed this missive which the Gods of GeoCities Member Services have now placed in your path of knowledge.

He marveled, too, that the clever people at the Starbucks, known for their sophistication and knowledge of the youthful professional and technical wizards spreading through the land, knew not that a veritable seaport of access to the infinite Net lay waiting, 24 hours and 7 days a week, not more than a child's bowshot from their own door.

Yet, he had not time nor patience to resolve their own ignorance and his own, but settled down to record the day's log of his journey upon the Wine Dark Web.